Chapter 3: Walls

(She's BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Hey, the quirks of FF nonsense can't keep a good writer down! I'm back. I would have had this up yesterday if the site had been working. Stupid FF wrecked Renji's birthday, so I will be doing some extra Renji related updates to make up for that. In the meantime, Gin's birthday month starts off with a bang! (Yeah, that kind...) Enjoy the sweets and I will have more fun stuff for you soon. Love, Spunky)

"You should eat something," Aizen said, leaning over Gin and placing several electrodes on his bared chest and abdomen, then turning to examine the readings on the monitor he was connected to, "You won't do yourself or our child any favors by slowly starving the two of you. Go on. I brought food, and I left enough slack in your bonds to permit that much movement. Eat, Gin."

"Are you trying to deceive me into thinking that you really care what happens to me?" Gin said in a distant tone, "I'm not stupid, Sousuke. You only care about keeping me alive so you can study the thing you put inside me."

Aizen arched a disapproving eyebrow.

"That is no way to talk about our child, Gin. And I think you are aware that if you do not eat, I will only be forced to feed you through a needle. This way will be much more comfortable for you. You should stop being so stubborn and eat."

Gin considered silently for a moment, then moved one hand enough to dislodge the food tray from his lap. He watched without changing his expression as the tray toppled from his lap and crashed to the floor.

"Unwise," Aizen reprimanded him solemnly, only continuing his examination without meeting Gin's slitted eyes, "but I understand. It's not easy realizing that you have lost all freedom to control your own destiny. But this is a result of your own choices. You...do see that, don't you, Gin?"

"Are you saying I chose to be used by that horrible, maniacal scientist? That I wanted to be raped and impregnated by you?"

"You know very well I didn't rape you, Gin. Neither one of us was in control. Some mechanism caused us to submit to whatever programming Kurotsuchi Mayuri instilled in us. I am working to discover exactly what he did and what methods he used, but it will go more smoothly if you cease your efforts to gradually destroy yourself. Believe me, I want you to die as much as you want to die right now. I just can't accommodate our mutual wishes until I get to the bottom of this."

"I don't care what you do," Gin said wearily, "Don't you understand what's happened? Soul Society has been destroyed. She is probably dead...not that she wasn't half dead inside after what you did to her."

Aizen paused and gave him a curious look.

"Is that what your strange behavior is all about?" he asked, frowning, "That I took a piece of her soul to feed to the hougyoku? Is she really that important to you, Gin? That's very odd, considering the lack of interest you have in maintaining bonds with most people."

"She was different."

"Different how?" Aizen inquired, "You were...in love with her?"

"No," Gin said, closing his eyes for a moment, "She was my friend."

Aizen smiled in amusement.

"I didn't know snakes had friends, Gin. How very sentimental of you...and how very foolish. You should have known better."

"I should have known better about a lot of things," Gin said cryptically, earning another intensely curious look from Aizen.

"Can I ask you something else?" he inquired, pausing in his explorations, "Why didn't you just ask me to return what I took? You certainly could have, given that you became my lover...at least in body? Were you that afraid I would figure out you were lying to me?"

"I wasn't afraid," Gin answered softly, "I just didn't believe that you ever really loved me. You wouldn't have given that part of her soul back if I'd asked for it. You would have held it over my head and used it to manipulate me."

"Ah, a perspective only a truly gifted manipulator would have, ne?" Aizen said mockingly, "You haven't changed at all, have you?"

"Not as much as I would have liked," Gin admitted, "Rangiku did make me feel things other people didn't. I thought I could be different if I could just have her be the way she was before."

"What do you mean?" Aizen asked, glancing at him appraisingly, "Even without that piece of her soul, Rangiku became a fukutaichou. She had to be very talented to do that. Are you angry because it denied her a bankai she could have had?"

"I am angry because it broke something in her," Gin said icily.

"What are you talking about?" Aizen chided him, "She was always charming and gregarious. That never changed, not before, nor after. She was the same person. You just looked at her differently. It may have been me who took a piece of her soul, but it was you who couldn't see her the same way. You do see that, don't you?"

"No, she wasn't the same," Gin insisted, "She tried to be the same, but there was something in her eyes. She could still smile, but it was always there inside her eyes."

"What was there?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't particularly," Aizen admitted, "but if it will settle you enough to take better care of yourself, I could consider indulging you."

Gin's blue eyes opened and fixed on him directly.

"What are you saying?" he demanded, "You know she's probably dead. It's too late to think you can restore her..."

Gin went suddenly silent, staring as Aizen's hand loosed the tie on his yukata, baring his front and revealing the hougyoku. He paled visibly at the sight of the crystalline orb, his mind firing back to the moment Aizen had attacked him and taken it back.

But there was one small, stolen moment when I held it in my hand, and it whispered the possibilities into my mind. It could restore her. It could finally give back what he had taken from her. That's all I wanted, but the hougyoku teased me to try to lure me into wanting more. I realized then how dangerous it is.

"You know the power of the hougyoku, Gin," Aizen reminded his spellbound captive, "Even just being close to it can cause it to manifest your desires."

Gin looked back at him in silence for a moment, then his head bowed and his eyes nearly closed again.

"I also know that for the hougyoku to grant a person's desire, that desire must be possible. Rangiku was caught up in the Vandenreich's assault. Do you really think, given Ywach's plans, they would have left her alive? They wanted all of the shinigamis dead! And if she is dead, she can't be..."

Gin paused as the hougyoku flared suddenly, filling his widening eyes with bright white light until everything around him disappeared.

He reappeared at the top of a white pillar, looking down on two fallen shinigamis and a small female sternritter. The quincy bent over the two shinigamis, her power seeping into them and making their skin turn dark. She laughed at the two as she worked at transforming them, filling them with her blood and tainting them. Finally, she touched them to wake them, and the two climbed to their feet, their eyes empty.

"Rangiku!" Gin howled, shattering the restraints that held him down and surging to his feet.

"Gin, stop!" Aizen commanded him.

He followed as Gin threw himself at the balcony doors and surprised Aizen again by breaking through the heavy barrier.

"Gin!"

Aizen flash stepped after him, catching the crazed shinigami around the waist as he landed on the ground outside their hideout.

"Stop it! Let go of me, you bastard! They're killing her!" Gin screamed frantically, "I have to...!"

"It's too late," Aizen said, making Gin's body stiffen under his hands, "Gin, I saw what you did."

"She isn't dead!" Gin insisted, "That quincy...d-did something to her. It...!"

"If it transformed her in some way, then she is as good as dead already. And there is nothing you could do if you did reach her. You can't cure her, Gin. Our only hope is to remain here and get to the bottom of what Kurotsuchi Mayuri was trying to do."

"He was just a creepy scientist playing games!" Gin objected, struggling furiously.

Aizen sent a throb of subduing kido through Gin's body, making him shudder and go weak in his enemy's arms.

"Kurotsuchi Mayuri knew about the Vandenreich," Aizen corrected him, "and prior to the beginning of the war, he certainly would have been attempting anything he could to come up with something to counter them."

"How could making you rape me and get me pregnant save anyone from those monsters!" Gin panted uncomfortably, still trying to move, but hindered by the restrictive kido, "You're crazy! You just want me to give up and let you do what you want! I won't do it, Sousuke. I'm not doing anything for you!"

Another shock of kido jolted Gin's body, making him go limp and silent in Aizen's embrace. Aizen lifted him gently and carried him back inside. He laid Gin carefully in bed, pausing to heal the bruises on his wrists and arms he had gotten from straining against his bonds and smashing into the barrier.

"Such foolish and desperate behavior," he mused, "Coming from you, it's surprising. But then, I did register in my analysis that the hormones in your body are at intense levels. I'm sure that's what is affecting your emotions...though...it is a little touching how you do seem to really care about her. I didn't think you had it in you to love anyone, Gin...not as a friend and not as a lover. To know you can is...somewhat tantalizing...dangerous."

He thought back again to the moment when he had encountered Gin outside their bedroom in Las Noches, shedding tears.

If you were conflicted like that, then...could you have really loved me?

An enemy who hurt your friend, Gin?

Did you abandon your hatred for that time in my arms and really surrender to love? To me?

And what would it take to make you love me again?

If we went back to that moment...

He invoked his power before he quite realized he had, carrying them out of the calm, quiet hideout, through the dark cavern and into the pale sands of Hueco Mundo. Together, they appeared as they had been, that night long before, wild-eyed and their bodies wrapped tightly around each other as they made love. They fell into a sweaty tangle of damp bodies, abandoned clothing and tangled sheets, quickly dropping off together. And as before, Gin woke first, and walked outside, onto the balcony, where he stood with his body stiffened and tears leaking onto his face.

Aizen sat up in bed and looked around. He found Gin's shape outside the balcony doors, his body barely covered in his white yukata that was flapping in the night breezes. He approached Gin from behind on silent feet and slipped his arms around the silver-haired man, making him gasp and try to brush away the tears.

"Gin?" he whispered into his lover's blushing ear.

Gin went perfectly still and breathless, his blue eyes opening and looking up at the crescent moon.

"Will you tell me what made you do that?" he asked curiously, "Why were you shedding tears? That's not like you...not at all like you, my little snake. Don't you know that snakes don't cry, Gin?"

"Perhaps I've let you get so much inside me that I'm not myself anymore," Gin answered, keeping his eyes on the moon, "Maybe by being close to you, I've changed."

I remember that I told him I didn't believe he'd ever really change...and that I loved the snake he was, everything he was. Yes...even knowing he would betray me, I let myself love him, and maybe, because I did, Gin could love me back.

But what if I had answered him differently?

What if...?

"Then," he went on, capturing Gin's chin and gazing down into his widened eyes, "if you've changed, I will love the man you are now. And if you are different tomorrow, then I will change too. And for all of eternity, you and I will evolve together, Gin...if that is what we want. If that is the destiny we choose."

He felt a tremor in the hands that held on to him.

"Sousuke, if I promise to always stay with you, will you...do something for me?" Gin asked.

He never asked me for anything before. Could he have been ready to tell me? If I had said the right words, would Gin have...?

"What is it that you want, Gin?" he asked carefully, "You know you only need to ask me and it will be done if it can be."

Gin shivered and swallowed hard.

"Sh-she doesn't mean anything to you, but she's important to me."

A smile crept onto Aizen's face.

"You want me to spare Rangiku?" he asked, "I know she was your friend."

"I want you to spare her, Sousuke," Gin requested, looking up at him with strangely vulnerable eyes, "But I want something more...and if you give me this, I will swear to love and obey you forever."

"Go on," Aizen said, teasing Gin's lips with his.

Gin hesitated, shivering again and clenching him fiercely.

"Give it back to her!" he managed in a harsh whisper, "Give it back to her, Sousuke!"

Aizen tore himself out of the illusion and gazed down at Gin's unconscious form. He watched in silence as his former love slept, Gin's words from the illusion repeating in his mind.

And what would have happened if I had given it back to her that very night? Aizen wondered, She would have been spared and healed, and Gin? Would he have turned back from his quest to kill me? Would we have remained lovers instead? Would he have followed me all of the way?

He realized suddenly that Gin's eyes had opened and were looking up at him questioningly. He looked down at his unbound body and gave Aizen a confused look.

"Why did you do that?" he asked cautiously, "Why did you leave me untied?"

Aizen considered the question quietly for a moment.

"Where would you go?" he asked calmly, "The Vandenreich has conquered Soul Society. They will execute any remaining shinigamis of any reasonable power and they will move on to the royal realm. She is gone, Gin. You know that."

Gin's eyes went back into slits and he turned his head away.

"But," he went on, slipping a hand into Gin's and making it quiver uncertainly, "I will make you a promise...if you cooperate with me, if you give me your perfect obedience and assist me in completing what Kurotsuchi Mayuri began, then if Rangiku somehow survives or can be revived, I will restore he completely."

He squeezed Gin's hand and captured his chin, drawing Gin's eyes back to lock on his.

"I will give her back everything, Gin."

Gin stared at him breathlessly for several long moments, then shook his head and lowered his eyes.

"You're awful, Sousuke," he whispered brokenly, "To use an empty promise like that to..."

"It isn't an empty promise," Aizen assured him, "Think about it. The Gotei was looking for a means to stop Ywach. They failed to do that. But we have all we need to succeed at what they could not. Help me do this, Gin. Help me to overcome Ywach and I can become Soul King. Once that happens, I will have the ability needed to restore her, just the way she was...just the way you remember her."

"You're just going to use me and kill me," Gin concluded miserably, "You have no reason to carry through on what you say. You just want me to cooperate."

"I could force you," Aizen agreed, "but I don't think I want to."

"Cooperation is much easier," Gin said bitterly, "and it's fun, isn't it? When you earn someone's trust and then stab them in the back? Or actually, it was in the heart that you stabbed me, Sousuke."

Gin sucked in a surprised breath as Aizen's hands yanked him close and held them barely apart, with their lips nearly touching.

"You stabbed me in the heart too," he said icily.

Gin quivered under his painfully tight grip.

"I didn't want to," he confessed in a whisper, "I mean, I did, but..."

He flinched as Aizen's hands relaxed slightly and his brown eyes met Gin's.

"There was a moment between us, wasn't there?" Aizen asked in a softer voice, "A moment when, if I had said the right thing, you would have abandoned your plans to betray me...isn't that right, Gin?"

Gin stiffened and made a sound of distress.

"It is true, isn't it?" Aizen asked, teasing Gin's lips with his, "That night I found you crying, you were crying because you couldn't decide what to do...whether to take your revenge for her or to abandon it for me."

"I wasn't going to...!"

"But you were, weren't you?" Aizen pressed, sweeping his tongue across the length of Gin's frowning mouth, then plunging inside before he could object, "You wanted to forget your hatred of me and stay with me, but you were conflicted because it meant Rangiku would never have back that piece of her soul."

"Why are you talking about things that don't matter anymore?" Gin asked, pulling away from him, "She is gone, Sousuke. I know that quincy killed her. And if I help you become king, then you will only kill me too. You already promised me that."

"Now, I will promise you this," Aizen said, taking Gin by the arms and forcing their eyes to meet squarely, "If you cooperate completely, if you help me to overcome the quincy king, then when I am king, I will spare you, and I will restore Rangiku."

"Why would you bother?" Gin asked unhappily, "You can force me to cooperate and become king anyway, without having to give me anything? Why are you doing this, Sousuke? What do you want from me?"

"I want what I've always wanted from you," Aizen said dulcetly, running his fingers through Gin's silver hair and keeping their eyes locked, "I want what you were ready to promise me that night, when you cried after I made love to you. I want your love and your obedience...your complete and undying devotion to the very end!"

"N-n..."

Aizen's fingers touched his lips, freezing him in place.

"Your answer...is yes," he hissed softly, claiming Gin's lips forcefully and pushing him down on the bed.

And whatever objection he might have been trying to raise, Gin relaxed under the weight of Aizen's body, opening his mouth and kissing back, tearing at their clothes and raising his hips eagerly as their bodies were joined.

How did he get back inside me? Gin wondered dazedly, Not just inside my body, but inside everywhere, the way it felt when we were together before? Why can't I resist him? Why is it that I can't care anymore if he does plan to kill me? All I want is to feel him inside me...in my body, in my heart, in my soul. Who lets that kind of darkness in willingly?

Gin's mind went blank as Aizen's body shuddered atop his, and scathing heat flooded him inside. He didn't know if the scream he loosed was one of passion or horror, only that it made Aizen laugh and hold him more tightly as they collapsed together in a wanton tangle on the bed.

Oh kami, what have I done?!