Happy 4th of July everyone!

His first birthday hits her like a ton of bricks.

Of course she knew it was approaching but suddenly it's the day before.

She realizes this as she's sitting behind the register of her second part time job she has while being in Phoenix. The first she got fired, because she yelled at the spoiled brat of one of the customers in the diner.

But the second the costumer in front of her asks for the date her mouth goes dry and her hands start to shake.

She's thankful for the women who answers for her obviously aware of the girls discomfort. She quickly releases that she's at work at pushes the thought to the back of her mind as she finishes her shift.

After her shift she asks one of her co-workers if she'll buy her some booze. After 10 minutes the girl comes back with 2 bottles of vodka and tells her to have fun.


After dinner she quickly rushes to her room, claiming to be tired. She glances at her new backpack where the vodka is still hidden in.

She's never been one to drink much. But now she craves it. She wants to just not think for a day or two. Just forget for a little while, than she'll go back to being responsible.

The first taste of the alcohol makes her throat hurt.

She starts to cry when she's half way to the first bottle. Out of anger she slams her keys in to her mirror, and she screams into her pillow.

2 hours later the staff finds her passed out with only half a bottle left.


A few hours later she wakes up in a hospital bed with a empty stomach. She finds Megan sitting next to her, Megan is the only staff member Emma actually likes.

"Hey, how you're doing." she asks in a soft voice. "Care to explain why you thought it was a good idea to almost drink yourself into a coma."

Emma looks at the clock. "Today is his first birthday." she says it so soft, she'll hope Megan won't hear her say it.

"Who's birthday..., ooh." Megan answers. "Emma there are better ways to deal with these things." she sighs.

"I know, I know. This was just easier."

Megan now looks her dead in the eye. "I know sometime alcohol is easier, but sweetheart this isn't the right way."

"You never even told me that his birthday was coming up." "And that kind of hurts my feelings."

Dammit, now she disappointed the one person she likes. "I'm sorry." It's all she really can say.

A doctor decides to make his appearance and tells her she's all good to go, if she promises never to pull a stunt like that again.


On the way back to the house she ask Megan to make a stop at a bakery. "I want to buy a cupcake" she says in a strong voice. Megan can't argue with that.

When they get back she's forced to make some small talk with the staff. She apologizes and promises once more to never do it again.

After she goes through the drawers in the kitchen until she finds a small candle and a lighter. Megan smiles at her as she makes her way to her bedroom.

As she lights the candle she looks at the sonogram pictures she has. In her head she sings happy birthday, and goes over the list of things she hopes her son has.

After a few minutes she blows out the candle and throws out the cupcake. It's not meant for her anyway.

She smooth's out her crumpled pillow and cleans up the pieces of the mirror. Her breath catches in her throat as she finds her keychain broken.

As the pendant lies in her hand the anger and betrayal rises again. Only this time she won't run from it.

It's a part of her. Without it she'll won't be her. She searchers in her jewelry box for the empty necklace she knows she has in there.

She slowly glides the pendant on it. As she puts the chain on, she whispers one more time.

"Happy birthday, mommy loves you."