A/N: well, after some procrastination and a stroke of AWESOME, I give you happy bastards chapter 3 of bad company's tale!

Chapter 3: isn't this a fanfic cliché?

The squad was lying on their stomachs on a hill about 50 yards from their objective; it was a hardened bunker with about 20 men with emplaced weapons like KORNET and KORD.50 defenses. Sarge handed the binoculars back to July and said "how are WE going to get in there? They have more men alone, not including the emplaced weapons!"

She smiled and pulled out her M-95; after a few seconds she attached a silencer to it and said "you boys head down the slopes and make a distraction, I'll pick them off if they try and stop you. Haggard commented "right about now, we could use a golf cart and some old Mexican music CDs." Sweets nodded and said "then have spinners on the golf cart!"

Sarge looked at them like they were retarded and said "you two, SHUT UP!" he turned to Marlowe and said "ante up Preston, were just going to charge down this hill…and hope July covers us; haggard, you good first."

Haggard racked his 870 and said "all right, times up, let's do this…LEEROY JENKINS!"

The boys watched as he sprinted down the slope, and watched as an alarm in the base started up; they charged down the hill to try and keep haggard alive. Marlowe raised his XM8 and fired a 40-MM grenade into a armored KORD MG turret, and saw the operator get thrown out; just as he was about to shoot him he felt something whiz by at extreme speed, and then the Russian exploded. He was glad that she was on their side as he kept going down the hill, runnin' and gunnin'.

Sweets was pinning them down with his M-60 so haggard could plaster them with his AT-4; sarge was backing Marlowe up as they began cutting the wire surrounding the bunker, and all the while they heard sniper bullets whizzing by, then the screams of dying Russians.

As Marlowe cut through the last bit of barbed wire, sweets and haggard wiped up the last few Russians who hadn't fallen back to the inside of the bunker; sarge got on the radio and said "july, form up on us, the Russians are falling back into the bunker."

As he put the radio down, he turned to Marlowe and said "I didn't trust haggard with the C4 this time, tell me you didn't 'lose' it like haggard does. Marlowe pulled out a large green pack and said "its all here! Where do you need it?"

As July jogged up, sarge pointed at the door and said "open that shit up, and give the reds a surprise."

He tossed 2 bricks into the ground in front of it and said "stand back! Its gonna leave a mark!"

The squad got behind cover, and Marlowe pressed the clapper with a distinct beep; the explosion threw the door and bits of Russian all over the place. Haggard stood up and yelled "CHARGE!" as injured Russians crawled from the wreckage.

They rushed through the halls, killing any Russians who got in there way as they headed to the room shaped like a dome.

Sarge looked at the metal blast door blocking their way and said "stack up and get ready to breach; get ready for anything, this isn't in slow motion!" as haggard stuck the last bricks of C4 on the door, they stood back and blew it down, then charged in guns blazing.

They quickly killed the door's guards, then killed 2 Russian soldiers who were pointing at something on a TV; the last Russian ran up to a panel and hit a large arming switch, and as sweets tore him up with the LMG. As his body slid down the console, his weight hit a large, non-clichéd red button, and the super-weapon popped up from its storage unit, and began powering up.

Marlowe took a good look at it; it was a slightly smaller scalar-type weapon as it whirred on.

Sarge yelled "HAGGARD! STOP WATCHING THE TV AND COME HERE!" Marlowe saw hags and Sweetwater watching a show called "my little pony"…it was more-or-less a joke. As they form up on sarge, July yelled "DON'T SIT AND TALK! SHOOT IT!"

The team opened fire on the weapon as it began to spin up, and each hit their weapons did, a lance of energy would fly out and hit something; Marlowe yelled "IT'S NOT WORKING! HAGS, GIVE ME YOUR ROCKET LAUNCHER!"

He grabbed the AT-4 he tossed and took aim at the weapon; it felt like years as he pulled the trigger and watched the 84-MM HEAT fly toward the weapon, and shatter it into 2. It lanced power everywhere, and as the blast hit the squad, it obliterated the nearby TV.

Marlowe felt himself being thrown, and it suddenly went from being the cold, dry base, to a pleasantly warm feeling. He opened his eyes as he was slammed into the ground; he saw that it was a pristine green field, the birds flying in the sky.

He saw July lying unconscious on the ground, and went to her aid; he didn't see any of his squad around. perhaps he was dead, or perhaps he was somewhere else; all he knew was, july was hurt, he wasn't in Alaska, and there were no more russians.

(back in Alaska…)

General Bradford watched the satellite feed as the Russian superweapon made a 10-mile plasma crest; he slammed his fist into the ground and said "give the men the order to strike, it's clear now."

As the sergeant left the room, the general stared sadly at the image; he lost one of his best officers, and the finest bunch of soldiers he had seen…they went through the fire he put them in, and saved America once, and now twice. He pulled out 5 sheets of paper and began his duty of writing to their next of kin.

(back with the boys…)

Sweetwater stood up, clutching his arm; he had hit the ground pretty hard. He looked and saw sarge catching his breath, and haggard doing mouth-to-muzzle with his shotgun, then zapping it with his AED.

Sweetwater looked around and said "where's Marlowe?"

Sarge shook his head and said "dunno…he and miss july are nowhere around, maybe they ran off or maybe there dead. Who knows." Haggard stood up and said "well, ante up…lets find the rookie he still has my AT-4. Need that back."

As sweetwater began walking down apath, he saw movement up ahead; at first, he ignored it, but then he noticed that it was a brightly colored purple UNICORN. He blinked twice and said "sarge! Haggard! It's a pony!"

Haggs laughed and said "oh, what next? Its from my little pony and can talk? Hell, its food right now, so lemme load the flechette rounds and get us some dinner."

Sweetwater yelled "NO! YOU IDIOT!" as pushed the muzzle away as he fired off a shot; the unicorn gave them an alarmed look and ran of yelling "MONSTERS! GET THE PRINCESS!"

Sarge looked at sweets and haggard then said "we just pissed of somebody, didn't we?"

Haggard racked his shotgun and said "what are some ponies gonna do? Imprison us?"

He saw a large shadow appear over him, and saw at least 80 Pegasus in golden armor tackle him and surround the others; they quickly bound them up and began hauling them off.

Sarge glared at him and said "now we're going to be dissected by ponies….GOOD JOB HAGGARD!"

A/N: never piss off ANYTHING when in another world.

I would say more, but I'm tired as fuck….R&R, and it will be worth my time.

Also, shout-out to the 2 guys who subbed this story; I enjoy support.