The Great Disney Edventure
Episode 1: An Apple a day keeps the Ed away
Part 2
I'm back with part 2 of the first episode, how will the Eds get back home, and who is the Evil Queen. All coming up right now!
I regretfully DO NOT own anything I mention in this series, because if I did this would be its own television series by now. (Thank god for digital editing and photoshop though.)
Enjoy!
As the door opened to the cottage, the Eds were trembling in fear, especially when Dopey slammed the door shut.
"Why, the whole place is clean." said Doc.
"There's dirty work afoot." replied Grumpy.
"You mean it wasn't before?" asked a frightened Double D fearing of what the cottage looked like beforehand.
Ignoring him the others continued to look at their newly clean place as Sneezy pointed to the sink.
"Hey, someone stole our dishes!" he said.
Happy looked up and replies "They ain't stole. They're hid in the cupboard.
Bashful grabbed his cup. "My cup's been washed. Sugar's gone."
"Something's cooking. Smells good." said Happy as he reached out to see what was cooking.
Grumpy soon shoved Happy and Dopey away from the kettle
" Don't touch that, you fools! Might be poison!" he yelled just as the kettle spews steam at the three of them and the lid rattles.
"See? It's witch's brew." said Grumpy.
It's not the only witch in this house Big Nose." said Eddy.
"Watch what you say Pink Face, I've got an axe that I'm not afraid to use." warned Grumpy.
However little did the Dwarves know that by the soup was a small pot of-
"GRAVY!" yelled Ed who could smell even the slightest scent of gravy from a mile away.
As he stripped into nothing but his moldy underwear, the lovable oaf sprinted straight through the dwarves like bowling pins and literally dove into the small pot of gravy , because according to Cartoon Network there is no logic in this show.
The dwarves just stood there in fear.
"I'll get him." said Eddy as he grabbed the rattling pot and rubbed it.
In doing so the lid opened up revealing a gravy covered Ed.
"I am Ed! the great cheese and macaroni, and I shall grant you three wishes." said Ed holding three fingers before noticing that they were covered in gravy, and started to suck on them.
"Are you guys under disney ownership?" asked Doc.
"Nope we're owned by Cartoon Network." said Double D.
"Good because I don't think we can last 76 years of your yellow friend." Doc continued
But before Double D could reply a slight moaning could be heard from the second floor.
"Someone should go up there and check it out." said Doc.
The eight all unanimously agreed to sent Ed and Dopey up the stairs. And after about 3 hours of trying to get Ed out of his gravy pot which ended with multiple bite marks, black eyes, and gashes. Ed and Dopey made it to the second floor.
"So are you a some kind of tomato?" asked Ed who still thought Dopey was a vegetable. "Or cauliflower, or (gasp) Brussels Sprouts!
But soon the duo witnessed a ghostly figure under the bed sheet, screaming and holding each other the two idiots came crashing down to the others.
"Well from the looks of it, something is in the bedroom, and we are gonna find out -"
"ACHOO!" sneezed Sneezy before Double D could reply. The sneeze was so powerful it moved furniture and sent the dwarves and Eds flying, Ed grabbed the edge of a wall to hold himself in...but caused the whole cottage to move 20 feet away from its original position due to his immense strength.
Grumpy was not happy when he picked himself up from the ground.
"Ya crazy fool! Fine time ya picked to sneeze!" he yelled.
Sneezy was embarrassed. "I couldn't help it. I can't tell. When you gotta," he had another one coming. "you gotta."
"ACHOO!" he sneezed again causing the whole group to fly into the second floor.
"Look (yawn) something is in our bed." yawned Sleepy.
"Okay on a count of three, we attack." said Doc.
The Dwarves raised their pic axes, as the Eds hid behind them.
"One, Two, ..."
"Pickle, Zebra, Chicken!" yelled Ed.
Soon the bundle woke up to be none other than Snow White as her skin was as white as snow with her rose color lips, and raven hair.
"Oh, dear! I wonder if the children are..." she started, but stopped once she saw the dwarves and Eds peeking from the edge of the bed
"Oh!" said a frightened Snow White.
The dwarves and Eds hid, then peeked again.
"Why - Why, you're little men." said Snow White
"Hey who ya calling short you...hello gorgeous." said Eddy who became attracted to her.
"Oh, you can talk. I'm so glad."
The rest of the party revealed their full faces.
"Its the Princess Snow White." all the Dwarves said.
However Grumpy was getting inpatient. "Ask her who she is, and what she's a-doin' here!" he said
Doc hesitated for a second but regained his posture. "Ah, yes. Now what are you, and who are you doin' here?" he said.
Snow White looked afraid. "Please don't send me away. If you do, she'll kill me.
"Kill you?" everyone said.
"Who will?" asked Happy.
"Yes, who?" asked Sneezy.
"Was it the killer mutant cyborg from the 83rd dimension, to suck our brains out and feed them to wild animals!" asked Ed.
"My stepmother, the queen." said Snow White, completely ignoring Ed
"The QUEEN!" the Dwarves said in horror
"So I take it that this Queen chick is not good?" asked Eddy
"She's wicked!" said Bashful.
"She's bad!" said Happy with a nodding Dopey.
"She's mighty mean!" said Sneezy.
"She's an old witch!" said Grumpy "And I'm warnin' ya, if that queen finds her here, she'll swoop down and wreak her vengeance on us!" he continued.
"No vengeance for Ed!" yelled Ed.
" But she doesn't know where I am." said Snow White.
"She don't, eh?" said Grumpy "She knows everything." he continued as he made his way to frighten the dwarves. " She's full of black magic! ,She can even make herself invisible. " he showed moving his arms
"Pfft! Might be in this room right now!" he warned.
It was at that moment that Ed lifted Double D above his head for absolutely no reason at all.
"No queen for Ed, begone foul Wicked Witch of the West." yelled Ed.
"Ed i'm not the queen, put me down, and that movie doesn't come out for another two years!" Double D yelled as he was thrown straight through the wall and into the nightly forest.
But as Eddy started rolling on the floor laughing, Snow White still pleaded to stay.
"If you let me stay, I'll keep house for you. I'll wash and sew and sweep and cook... "said Snow White.
"COOK?" The Dwarves and Eds interrupted.
"Uh, can you make dapple lumplings? Er, lumple dapplings?" said Doc.
"Apple dumplings!" corrected Grumpy and Sleepy.
"Yes, crapple dumpkins." said Doc.
" Yes, and plum pudding and gooseberry pie..." said Snow White.
"Gooseberry pie? Hooray! She stays." said the Group.
"WAIT!" yelled Ed as went up close to Snow White.
"Can you make Buttered Toast." said a very serious Ed.
"Why of course I can." said Snow White.
Ed shot up in the air.
"Ed is the happy once more!"
However the cheering was soon over shadowed by the delicious smell of soup.
"Mmmmm, SOUP." said the whole group.
The dwarves and Eds raced to the table and started fighting over the seating arrangements.
Soon Snow White interrupted them.
"Supper's not quite ready. You'll just have time to wash." said Snow White.
"Wash?" the men said in unison.
"Say it isn't so." cried Ed.
"I knew there's a catch to it!" scoffed Grumpy.
"Now let me see your hands." said Snow White.
Well judging the fact that the dwarves had been working in a mine for pretty much the whole day, they were dirty.
"My, my your filthy." Snow White said.
"Ah what's the big deal, a little dirt won't hurt anybody." said Eddy as Snow White inspected his dirty hands.
"Well it is not proper and you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking that." said Snow White.
But as soon as Snow White saw Ed's hands she silently thought the dark forest was less scarier than this image.
Ed's hand were covered in dried up gravy his fingernails were yellow and cracked from years of not washing his hand, there were some moldy pieces of candy, and a dead fly who died on impact on trying to eat the candy.
Snow White held her nose in disgust.
"March straight into the washroom, or you will not get a bite to eat." she demanded.
The dwarves did as they were told, but Eddy was trying to force Ed in the room as he was trying to escape his grasp, clawing on the floor.
"NO CLEANING FOR ED!, I'VE BEEN A GOOD BOY MOMMY! cried Ed.
As the guys made it to the washroom, Doc decided to show how to exactly wash for supper.
"Come on gentlemen we can do this." said Doc.
"Yeah it shouldn't be that bad." said Sneezy.
"It's like a nightmare from the 8th dimension!" Ed.
"Now don't get too excited, here it goes." said Doc.
Step up to the tub
It ain't no disgrace
Just pull up your sleeves
And get up in place
Then scoop up the water
And rub it on your face
An' go blud-dle-ud-dle-ud-dle
Ud-dle-um-dum
The other Dwarves, Eddy, and Ed watched Doc do the demonstration, and prepared to do the real thing
Pick up the soap
Now don't try to to bluff
Work up a lather
An' when ya got enough
Get your hands full of water
Ya snort an ya snuff
An' go blud-dle-ud-dle-ud-dle
Ud-dle-um-dum
Soon the Dwarves started getting into a rhythm, well except Ed in fact he was so scared of the soap he was shaking.
"Geez Lumpy, when was the last time you cleaned?" said Eddy.
"Um, remember the episode when you and Double D tried to make me cool. (Season 1 episode 3: Over your Ed)
Eddy's eye grew open.
"That was 14 years ago!"
Ed blushed as Eddy, with all of his strength pushed Eddy in the tub.
"You can't take me alive, have mercy!" yelled Ed as he was getting cleaned
Ya douse an souse
Ya rub and scrub
Ya sputter and splash all over the tub
You may be cold and wet when your done
But ya gotta admit it's good clean fun
Soon the dwarves were trying to clean a screaming Ed who was screaming and attacking the other dwarves.
"This guy is like an animal!" yelled Sneezy while trying to scrub his moldy back while gagging.
Happy on the other hand went to clean Ed's underarms, however once Happy lifted Ed's arm, he turned green and proceeded to vomit in a bucket.
Doc soon gulped as he started to brush what was left of Ed's moldy orange teeth.
Bashful washing Eds head, notice a tiny war between dandruff and lice similar to a War battle.
But Dopey and Sleepy got the worst of it, they took off Ed's shoes and all they could see was a giant green puff with a skull face laughing maniacally.
"Ed if you get clean we can get you some pudding skin." yelled a desperate Eddy who was being clawed by Ed's long toenails.
This got Ed to reluctantly agree to be cleaned but was happy when was going to get pudding skin
"Okay Eddy, for the pudding skin." said a sad Ed.
So splash all ya like
It ain't any trick
As soon as your through
You'll feel mighty slick
Bunch of old nanny goats
Ya make me sick, goin'
An' go blud-dle-ud-dle-ud-dle
Ud-dle-um-dum
Soon the Dwarfs were all cleaned after Doc scrubbed them all, however Grumpy still refused to clean
"Next thing you know, she'll be tyin' your beards up in pink ribbons and smellin' ya up with that stuff called, uh... "perfoom". he said.
This was the last straw for Doc, with all the other dwarves, and Eds unanimously nodding after recovering from cleaning Ed, they started whistling and circling Grumpy.
"Get him!" yelled Eddy.
And with that the Dwarves attempted to grab a fighting Grumpy, but failed, however as he ran Ed grabbed him with just one hand.
"Thank for flying air Ed we will be arriving to our destination in 20 hours". said Ed as he threw Grumpy into the tub as the other Dwarves cleaned him up.
Soon Ed notice Dopey fighting with the soap and eventually swallowing it.
"No, no you're doing it all wrong carrot top" said Ed.
Soon he literally walked out of the cartoon as Dopey waited hiccuping soap as he went.
Soon Ed showed up with a whole sink and swallowed it whole.
"That hit the spot." said Ed before looking at Dopey.
"Hello my name is Ed what's yours." he said.
Now scrub good an' hard
It can't be denied
That he'll look mighty cute
As soon as he's dried
Well it's good for the soul
And it's good for the hide
To go blud-dle-ud-dle-ud-dle
Ud-dle-um-dum
And with a final scrub. The nine men heard Snow White yelling "Supper." and with a cheer they headed straight for the table and enjoyed their soup.
"Hey Eddy." asked Ed as he gobbled his soup.
"What Ed?" said an annoyed Eddy.
"Whatever happened to Double D?"said Ed.
"You threw him out of the cottage." said Eddy.
"Oh." said Ed, "I hope he's okay." he continued.
"Whatever." said Eddy, who was secretly wishing the same thing.
MEANWHILE
By the Queens Castle, Double D slammed head first into the inside.
"Oh wait until I get my hands on Ed, I'll-"
But he was interrupted by a spell being created.
"I better find this out for myself." Double D said.
As Double D snuck into the dungeon, being disgusted by the decorative, he noticed a lady dressed in black robes and a crown.
"So that must be the queen, I wonder what she is up to? Double D said.
But his questions were answered as he watches in horror as The Queen transformed into The Old Hag that is her disguise.
"Good Lord that's hideous!" whispered Double D.
"With this apple it will close Snow White's eyes forever in the sleeping dead." said The Queen looking at the camera with dramatic music.
"I think that face just scare about 2/3 of the audience when this first came, what am I saying I have to warn the others!" said Double D.
"Halt!" said a big booming voice.
Double D froze to see a giant green face on a mirror.
"Oh dear I didn't mean to intrude sir, please I'll do anything." begged Double D.
"You have trespassed into the queen's castle, you must be punished." said the Mirror.
"Oh please oh great one have a heart." said Double D.
"I did have a heart, but it was broken." said a sad Mirror.
Soon Double D got a notepad and sat on a chair.
"Tell me more." said Double D.
Well that took awhile sorry but the 4th of July got in the way, what did you think, and how will Double D help out this magic mirror, and it all leads up to one tough apple,
See you in Part 3!
