A/N: Ooooooooooooooh my Goooooooooooood! So many reviews! Seriously! I'm having a review overdose over here! I had no idea you guys like this story so much, and so, with all this lovely and positive feedback, I shall endeavor to continue it! Anyone here to flame and without an open mind to a nice happy, sweet story, kindly take a hike!

Also, I have, as of this moment, started watching the OVA's of Date Alive and delving into the manga. And I have one thing to say about that. SO MANY IDEAS HERE! *Major Nosebleed* Oh, writing for them...thaaat is gonna be one crazy bucket of worms there. Speaking of which, this chapter is all kinds of funny, crazy, and CUUUUUUUUUUTE! With just a weeeeee bit of*ahem* interesting material...Nice and long, to! I've played havoc with things here timeline wise, and yes, it is deliberate.

SO ONTO KURUMI!

But fear not! Yoshino will have her chance to shine, soon! Just not in this chapter. You'll see soon what I mean! Also, some more NarutoxKotori time because as I'm sure I've mentioned by now, our favorite blond doesn't exactly see her as a sister related to him by blood. And yes, yes, I haven't forgotten about poor, poor Origami...

I remind you once again that Naruto is Naruto! He's been around for awhile, and derives amusement from trolling people. Literally, Troll Level: Naruto. Add to this the fact that he is only just NOW starting to open up his heart again after so many years? It certainly explains his exceedingly goofy behavior in the beginning of this chapter. He's very happy. VERY, HAPPY. It also has something to do with the sealing of a Spirit's powers, as I'm sure you've noticed.

Also, to a curious reviewer, Culaio, who claimed Kurumi's powers couldn't be sealed so easily; I say thus. One, she wants Naruto. BADLY. Two, the dude's a GOD. If he wanted to take her power an' keep it, he very easily could. This chapter reveals an alternate method by which he can deal with what he dubs "strange abilities"...

And let's address something in the first chapter, which someone complained about. Naruto told Tohka that he doesn't fight girls. He doesn't, because he does not take pleasure in hurting them. To those who have a problem with that, DEAL with it. Naruto's still an upstanding guy...mostly.

He simply does not fight those who aren't his enemies. But if you piss him off...it won't matter whether you're male or female. He will embarass you, demean you, humiliate you, and if you really annoy him...MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL.

And ooooone last thing for those who have been begging it:

MAJOR SCREENTIME FOR KAGUYA! I also seek to address the curious time-skip here. Literally, one minute Tohka's got nowhere to go and then WHAM! She's in school with the protagonist? How did that happen? What was the aftermath? Here, then, is the answer to that. Wholly original! LET THE CRAZY DATE TRIP BEGIN!

VIVA LA DATE A LIVE! NO MORE NAY-SAYING PLEASE AND ENJOY THE STORY ITS OVER TEN THOUSAND WORDS, JUST FOR YA'LL!

"Ara, aren't you a fiery one."

"You have no idea."

~an amusing conversation between Kurumi and Naruto.)

Burning/Desire/Nightmare

"I'm disappointed in you, Origami-chan."

At these words, Origami Tobiichi jerked upright in the hospital bed with a yelp. At least, she tried. Instead, an incredible weight prevented her from rising entirely; an unseen vice on her windpipe reducing her scream to a tiny gasp of wordless noise. Her vision swam blearily, her eyes refusing to obey, at first. And when her vision did finally return, well...

...she almost wished it hadn't.

Naruto leaned over her, face mere inches from her own, his teeth bared in a savage snarl. "Hello, friend." When she tried to rise she realized what-who-was holding her down. Naruto. He was sitting on her, stradling her with his own body. How long had she longed for this, wished for it in secret? And yet now that she finally had what she wanted, now that she was looking at him, gazing into those frightening red eyes-incredibly, she felt no fear. Only confusion. What...

Memories came flooding back in agonizing rush of pain and sound.

Attacking Naruto, accidentally shooting him in the head.

That same wound closing, his fist lashing out.

Landing in the ocean.

Blackness.

Hospital.

That was where she was Origami realized, her body prone and helpless -powerless!- amidst the sheets. Pinned. Trapped. With nothing more than a thin gown separating her from him. Naruto could have his way with her and she'd be powerless to stop him. She knew Naruto would never deliberately do something like that to her, but she was having increasing difficulty recognizing the gentle blond in this sneering stranger. Unbidden, her eyes flicked up to his head.

There was a scar.

Just a pale line where the wound had been, but it was still there. Where she had...shot him. A gasp tore itself out of her throat. Guilt came crashing down around her, a cold blanket stifling any and all warmth.

"So, you remember." It was not a question.

She dared to raise her head an inch, her nose brushing his. Naruto did not move. A rare frown marred her battered face. He was serious, she realized.

"Let me up." she demanded.

Naruto purred.

"I make the decisions here."

"If you don't, I'm going to kiss you." she threatened, trying to use his aversion for physical contact against him. It had always worked in the past whenever they argued; she knew her favorite blond'd always shied away from anything involving physical contact as though it were the plague.

She wasn't expecting the smile.

"I've already kissed and told once, today." Those eerie red eyes glinting malevolently as he leaned in closer, lips brushing the outer lobe of her ear. "Now, you know what I want...

Origami braced herself...!

...an apology."

All the tension that had been building for the last five minutes drained away in an instant. In its place came grief. Not at him, but at herself.

She'd been had.

Origami knew on an emotional level that she should be angry with him for playing her just now, but somehow she couldn't all the anger was directed at herself. She couldn't look at him and not see the hole in his head, those lifeless eyes staring listlessly out at her. Oh, god. She'd shot him. Shot her best-and only-friend over something petty as jealousy. I'm the worst. A tremor wracked through her body, her eyes downcast, hiding in the shelter of her snow-white locks. I-I almost took a life; I'm no better than a spirit...

"...I'm sorry."

Naruto frowned, blinking at her. "Aw, that was too easy! That-you're crying."

Her hands shot up to her face to hide it, but to no avail; mutinous tears were already gathering in her eyes, falling in great, thick droplets. She felt weak. Small. Petty. An awkward hand descended on her head, patting stiffly her white tresses.

"Hey, its okay. You didn't kill me."

That only made it worse.

"I thought I'd...I thought you were...

Words trailed off into a tiny sob as his whole body scooted forward. Arms wrapped around her. Her body went rigid and straight to autopilot, her head jerking forward into his chest. Distantly she registered this strangely pleasant position atop her, but in that instant she couldn't comprehend anything other than the embrace, the dry warmth of his bloodied jacket smelled horrible but she didn't care. Naruto whispered soft words of honey and kindness to her, and she drank them in like a greedy child.

Origami knew not how long she wept, nor how long he held her, but eventually, her well ran dry. Her hands still fisted tightly around his jacket, however. A single thought sprang up from nowhere.

"Warm."

"Eh?"

...nothing. I'm sore." she muttered, wincing when he pulled away.

"Yeah, that's gonna be there for awhile. You tried to hurt someone important to me." he drawled, rolling off her in a single, fluid movement. "Did you think ya were going to get off with just a warning, eh? Naaah," she watched him intently, unable to move as he circled the bed. "Its not that easy, Origami-chan. You don't get to shoot and tell. Still, I could have killed you, ya know. It would have been, well..." the chuckle came quietly, "Easy. But I didn't. Instead, I held back. You're probably wondering why."

Her head bobbed.

"It's because you're my friend."

...and snapped right back up again.

"What."

"And in the name of our friendship, I'm giving you a second chance; one more chance. However," He pulled away, looking her square in the eye. "If you attack again, if you try to hurt any of my precious people again...

...then I will make you wish you were dead."

There was an awful silence.

He stepped away again, dropping a bouqet in her lap. "Get well soon, Origami."

She gulped.

"You didn't mean it, right? You won't really kill me, will you...?"

Naruto didn't answer. Not audibly at least. He just looked at her, a sad, determined look shining in his eyes. A quite poof of smoke signaled the dispersion of the clone; and then, she was alone once more.

A tiny, lonely whisper tugged itself out of her lips.

...Naruto?"


"SINCE WHEN DID YOU BECOME A GOD, NARUTO?!"

Miles away, an angry shout split the rainy night.

Because, Kotori was furious.

Positively livid.

She'd known all along that her Onii-chan was different; that he was unique, that he liked to play hell with people on an almost day to day basis. She'd even accepted him in place of Shido, though it had taken her many, many MANY teary nights to do so. But eventually he'd found that place in her heart, easing that grievous wound that she still bore to this day. She could accept it. Him. She could accept that Naruto was trying to make up for his mistakes in life by being a good big brother to her. Hell, she'd even come to love him for it! But the one thing she could not, would not accept...

...that her big brother was a GOD!

"Well," he began pointedly, shifting on the sofa beneath her smoldering stare, "I don't call it that. It's more of a "cloak" then a mode, really."

Her eye twitched. "Not. Helping."

His smile broadened at what he perceived as a challenge.

"Don't believe me?" her beloved brother sighed gustily. "Fine. Guess there's no helping it...!"

"W-Wait a sec, what are you doing?"

Naruto grinned and closed his eyes, a white aura shimmering to life around his head and shoulders. Then they burst open, bilnding in their intensity. Kotori balked as the wind picked up, sending her twin-tails twirling in the breeze; the very house itself was beginning to shake!

"Okay, okay! I believe you! Just don't do it he-

Too late.

"HRK!"

This time the transformation was like flowing water; he simply snapped into his aptly named "God Mode" effortlessly as breathing. White, veined eyes stared back at her framed by pale gold hair, horns glinting like blood above his head. A third eye opened upon the skin of forehead, its red light nearly sending her gibbering for cover behind. He grinned, flashing pearly white teeth-fangs?!-as his larger form reclined against the cushion. It didn't seem possibly but he was even taller now, easily breezing past the six foot mark and nearing the seven...

...and it was like staring at the devil himself.

"Satisfied, my sweet little sister?" he breathed, his voice a dark rumble from the blackest circle of hell. The look he gave her was positively predatory. "This is what you wanted, wasn't it?" As if he would devour at the slightest provocation. This eerie, foreboding creature was such a stark contrast to her normal, kind, light-hearted brother that Kotori actually felt her knees knock together.

"O-Okay," she gulped, stifling the instinctive surge of dread, "That's a little scary."

A dark, amused gleam flicked in those steely white orbs.

"You think this is scary? Then you haven't met Kaguya."

The dark ribbons in her hair twitched.

"Who?"

"Oh, she'll come out when she feels like it." he coughed, changing the dual timbre of his voice to its usual, placating tones. "You should really hope she doesn't, though. I've asked her not to; wouldn't want to scare ya too badly."

"Na-ru-to." Kotori made a soft, squelching sound in the back of her throat and knuckled her fist against her forehead. No good. She felt it... slipping. An entire day's worth of frustration, humiliation, and embarrassment came to a boiling, seething head all at once. "That doesn't make it any easier to understand!" Her exclamation roared through their house in a searing wall of fire, threatening to bring to consume the living room entirely and bring the house down around their heads.

Her brother barely batted an eyelash.

"Kotori," Naruto uttered a jaw popping yawn that split the ozone layer, snuffing out the flames as though they were mere embers within a headwind. "Oi." He frowned when she didn't get control of herself, her breathing angry and harsh." When he saw that eerie glow began to build, he finally took action. "OI!" His hands closed around her shoulders and shook her gently. Then she struck. He didn't even flinch when an angry line of burst colored red stitched itself across his chest. He simply said her name.

"KOTORI!"

It was like having a veil ripped from her eyes.

All the world came back to her in a rush, the glow ceased, and sanity same surging back. So did the shame. Her eyes buged.

"Onii...chan?"

Naruto beamed at her. "The one and only."

"Your chest...

"Meh, it'll heal."

Unbidden her hands leaped to the line they'd carved against the glowing white shroud of his body. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to...

"Don't be so loud, 'ttebayo." he laughed gently, patting her head. "You'll wake Tohka."

It might have been a dere joke, but all the compassion drained right out of her.

"Tch." She muttered hotly, arms folding across her small bosom. "Tohka this, Tohka that. You seem to be getting along well, now." Ever the unruffled, he simply looked at her.

"And what does that mean?"

Her temper flared anew, teeth grinding angrily against the lollipop nestled in her mouth.

"Oh, I have no idea! You haven't stopped talking about her since you brought her here!"

A bright brow was arched, his white eyes still narrow and intent on hers. "Hey, hey. Calm down." His arms took hold of her again, and this time she didn't have the strength to resist him. But instead of spanking her, as he had done before, he simply pulled her, sputtering, into his lap. "Your energy is unstable, remember?" Strong fingers found her hair and began to stroke it, massaging her scalp gently-oh so gently-like a good brother would, as any sibling should towards her little sister.

And then he took her ribbons out.

Kotori turned pink.

"B-Baka! What're you...

"Hush." he reprimanded her with a purring sigh, materializing a comb in his off hand. "You don't get to argue." Before she knew what was happening, he began brushing her crimson tresses. "You know, It took me how many daysto bind it last time? Remember how many seals were involved? You got really sick. I almost lost you. "

Ah.

"W-W-W-Why are you talking about that, now?!" Kotori sputtered madly, her arms flailing halfheartedly, trying to wriggle out of his lap. "That was a long time ago!"

"Which is why I don't want it to happen again." he pointed out, frowning now as she shifted against him. "Hold still, you little imp. Ya've got knots."

Kotori squeaked. "Moh! Not so hard!"

Yes, she remembered that incident all too well, each moment preserved in painful clarity. Only a week after Naruto had taken her under his wing, she'd lost control of herself. She'd hated him back them, blamed him for what happened to Shido. To her parents. Blamed him for everything. In a fit of pique, she'd gone berserk. Her hands had torn into him, her flames had scorched him, and he hadn't resisted. Not once.

And when she was done, when she'd torn off his arms and scorched the very flesh from his bones, he simply regenerated. Then he looked at her and asked:

"Are you satisfied, now?"

The rest was history.

Her face began to burn in a way that had nothing to do with her flames.

"I-I'm fine!" she huffed, deflecting his concern. No no no! She didn't like where this was going! Not at all. "They're under control!"

"Says the chibi who almost burnt down the house just now. Ahahaha!" He leaned over, grinning at her. "The tsundere is strong in you!"

"I am NOT a-

Any further protest was momentarily quelled when he kept brushing her hair. DING! DING! Knock-out!

"Uhhhhhh...

Her face colored anew as she fought to keep from purring, gouts of steam spouting from her ears. Urgh! Damn him for distracting her like this! AGAIN! She'd waited until they'd gone home before confronting him on his self-professed deity status; this was something she needed to get a handle on personally before revealing it to the rest of Ratatoskr. But it wasn't going at all like she'd planned!

"I said I'm fine, baka!"

Naruto wouldn't be so easily dissuaded.

"Although...its kinda funny, ya know?" those scrutinizing blue eyes locked onto her, she could feel them boring a hole in the back of her head. "Just now, that didn't feel like chakra. Come to think of it, it can't be chakra, because as I recall, I helped Kaguya TAKE IT ALL BACK after everyone continued to use it for war and the like. Huh." Those hands suddenly surrendered her hair, as well as the brush and spun her around. He moved her so fast everything spun.

"Onii...GAH!"

Kotori went stiff as a board.

Forced to face him at last, she was suddenly made aware of what a compromising position she was in; her legs straddling his, a hand on her slim waist, supporting her. And his knee was...there! It was something she'd only dare dream about, thoughts she'd never given voice to, realized in this instant. A bead of warmth gathered between her legs.

Uh-oh.

"M-Maybe you were mistaken?" she gulped, trying, and failing to avoid eye contact.

"No, no, I'm certain of it." His eyes flashed a bright gold, the lights of Sage Mode sealing her fate. "Eh?" She saw the light click on in those moltenly bright orbs-the realization dawning even as her body went rigid under his gaze, like a proverbial deer caught in the headlights. "Wait a minute...I know this energy...its almost the same as Tohka's, but I know you're human, so...

Urk.

...you must have spirit powers!"

Kotori made an angry noise through her teeth and tried to jerk away from him, but only succeeded in slapping him with her hair.

"Did you just hiss at me?" Naruto asked disbelievingly, coughing. Then he laughed. It was a short, gentle, amused sound...and it warmed her in all the wrong places. "I can't believe it! You're Like Tohka! A little, oh, that word, what is it...ah! Spitfire! HA!" he flopped backwards when she swung at him-still cackling. "How did I not realize this sooner?! I mean I've never seen a spirit until recently, but still! I should've realized it that day!"

Now, Kotori had been growing very uncomfortable in her Onii-chan's lap while Naruto made this deduction. Now it felt like her body was on fire. A good kind of fire. Her skin tingled, hyper-sensitive to touch. Without her ribbons on she felt her mind spin in every direction, unable to lock onto a single point. Her Imoutu side clashed violently with that of the Commander-her twin personalities warring harshly with one another. One ordered her to get the hell up, the other demanded she stay put.

To make matters worse, he was giving her that look again! That same, sickeningly sweet oh-dear-what-is-he-up-to expression she'd seen countless times over the last five years.

"Hmm. You look upset."

A bead of awkward sweat trickled down her hair, momentarily breaking the deadlock. 'So honest!'

"Aw, I've been so mean to my poor imouto." his hand cupped her cheek, turning her face back to his. "I hurt your feelings, haven't I? Poor Kotori-chan. You're sad." Those strong fingers tilted her face forward, his nose brushing hers, his breath warm on her face. "Shall I kiss it better?" his face turned introspective. "I'm sure it would keep your powers from going nuts again and-

'No no no no! GAH!' Her mind raced back and forth; from the angel on her left shoulder to the devil on her right, eyes spinning dizzily from so many conflicting signals. 'Yes yes yes yes! MOH! Can't! Decide!' Was this a horrible prank? Another trollish trick, dangling a carrot in her face, only to snatch it away at the last instant? Her mind was sputtering madly now, unable to make heads or tails of the situation. Ohhhh, this couldn't get any worse-and apparently it could!

The sudden and unexpected crackle of thunder just outside turned the redhead's nerves to jelly, accidentally scooting even closer to him.

Big.

Mistake.

"Hmm." he murmured, lightly amused. "I almost forgot; you're terrified of thunderstorms, aren't you?" His hand was doing...things to her, stroking small circles across her back, whilst the other held her face in place as easily as though she were made of straw. What the hell had gotten into him? He was never this happy? It was almost as if he were drunk, but no, that wasn't possible, because Onii-chan didn't drink. But one look at his goofy grin and pleasant demeanor told her otherwise.

Had sealing Tohka really cheered him up this much? What, was he drunk on the atmosphere, or something? Wasn't that, like a rumor or something? Either way, it made her determined not to let him have his way.

"Don't look down on me! I'm not afraid of a little-

She opened her mouth to continue and refute him; and a deafening crack from outdoors reduced her to a quivering mess in his lap.

"Uh! Okay, okay!" she quailed! "I am!"

That chuckle sent sinister shivers shooting down her spine. "Poor Kotori~! Don't worry

Something short-circuited in her head.

ERROR. KOTORI DOES NOT COMPUTE! ERROR! COMPLETE SYSTEM FAILURE IMMINENT! OVERLOAD! OVERLOAAAAAAD!

"B-B-B-But I'm...we're...

"I've lived for centuries." he laughed. "Age has no meaning for me."

"Na-

Before she could decide, he did it for her.

"Chu~!"

It was...surprising gentle. Almost formal, even. Over almost before she realized it. His lips touched hers, lingering, and it ended, leaving her with the lingering smell of him. 'That's it?' All that tension, all that stress, and all she got was a peck? A PECK?! A slow flush began to crawl up her neck, bathing her face-followed by the rest of her-in scarlet relief. And it had nothing at all to do with her re-sealed powers.

"Better?" he cocked his head aside at her, grinning like a loon. "Sorry, no tongue until the third date, even for family."

Kotori's brain took a full fifteen seconds for a hard restart. A kiss was a kiss, her hormones violently insisted, no matter how chaste it had been. Her voice was the last thing to return. Trolled. She'd just been trolled, and gotten what she wanted in the same beat. That...THAT AS EVEN MORE TROLLISH OF HIM!

"I...you...baka! Onii-chan no baka! BAKA GA!"

A soft groan answered from beyond the den room.

"Whuzzat noise...so loud...

"Ah, crap. Now she's awake." Naruto shifted slightly on the couch as the sound of an open door reached their ears, "Oi, Tohka-chan~! Over here, over here!"

As she looked on her brother silently scooted over, making room for the owner of that voice. Sure enough, a sleepy Tohka half walked, half stumbled into the den room, lurching like some sort of un-dead creature out of a nightmares. She made it all of seven steps before flopping over the sofa and into his lap. Thankfully she'd acquired some clothes since Kotori had first seen her last, with that buxom body now snugly wrapped in a long orange shirt and dark sweatpants. Why she'd curled up there was almost obvious to Kotori, just as she felt a muscle jumping in her jaw.

"Ah," the former Princess mumbled blearily, "Naruto's all glowy...

"No no no, you're all glowy~!" he swan-songed back, mimicking her. "Although...

Kotori grit her teeth and felt the lolipop begin to splinter in her mouth.

Tohka was crushing on her onii-chan!

"Alright, that is enough!"

Remarkably, before she could open her mouth and say as much, someone did it for her.

A hand descended from seemingly out of nowhere, knocking both blond and the spirit in his lap into deep, senseless slumber. Kotori balked, the lollipop falling from her slack lips. From that hand sprouted an arm, and then, suddenly before her very eyes, someone else was in the room with the three of them. She appeared to be a female version of Naruto's transformed state, every bit the ephermal beauty within that white kimono, as though she were gracing them with just her presence.

And she did not look pleased.

"Who're you-

"Don't ask question to things you already know." came the terse, royal reply, reverberating through her very bones. "We are in no mood for games, and we are here to end this before he does something exceedingly foolish."

Kotori squeaked.

"Kaguya." the words tumbled out of her in a rush. She didn't know how she knew; she just...did. "You're Kaguya, aren't you?"

Full lips curled into a pleased smile. "Very good, sister of Naruto. Now, move. We wish to sit."

A tiny twitch of her fingers levitated the sputtering redhead, making room for the Goddess on the couch. The rogue deity settled in with a contented sigh. She stared at Kotori for a long moment. Then she did something strange. Most strange indeed. Before her very eyes, the legendary Rabbit Goddess bowed her head.

EH?!

"I apologize for the tone." she murmured demurely. "I tend to slip back into "we" when I am distressed."

The little redhead could only sweatdrop.

"No, no, its fine...

"Its all this idiot's fault." the woman sighed, pushing a hand through her pale hair, looking and sounding like an exasperated parent. "He's walled his heart off from others for so long and while that's not necessarily healthy to begin with, by the time he started to feel again he gravitated to THIS little sprite over here!" her finger shot out mercilessly, jabbing the slumbering Tohka in the cheek. "She's a positive, and for a terribly long time, this baka was a negative."

"Meaning?"

Kaguya actually had the grace to look a little flustered at that. "I suppose I should explain.

"Things...don't always end well when beings like us keep our emotions pent up for so long. Ah. Wait a moment." She looked away, waving her hand. A flick of her fingers and the inseperable duo were gone, spirited away to kami knew where. "There. I have brought them to the bed so that we may speak in private. A good night's sleep should clear this mess from their minds. Ah," a deceptively delicate yawn parted those full lips, her pale eyes drifting shut.

"'Tis nothing. I've merely forgot how tiring it is to have a physical body. Be a good imouto, and fetch your big sister some tea, would you?"

...hai?"

Kaguya's only response was to languidly drape herself across the couch and await the inevitable arrival of her soothing drink. Honestly, she was getting soft. Really! Years of being sealed in Naruto had done wonders for her personality; and though she was still liable to kill someone at the drop of the hat she found herself becoming far too attached to these humans. She even shared Naruto's affections for the red one, thought of her as her own flesh and blood, no less!

In relatively short order a warm was in hand, and she was taking a soothing drink. "Much better!" she guffawed happily.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Kotori shot up so fast she nearly gave herself whiplash and spilled her own tea. "So he was drunk?!"

A smug smile was her answer.

"On happiness, if you can believe it."

"H-He...!"

"Are we fretting about the kiss? I'm fairly certain that was genuine, regardless of his emotional state. He cares for you a great deal, little one."

"But it doesn't change the fact that he-

"You should be exceedingly grateful that events turned out the way they did!" Kaguya snapped, growling like a furious tigress. "Rather, that he is a ridiculously sappy loon instead of a force of destruction like myself. He gets drunk on emotion. WE do. Do you know that? When he feels horrible, the way he's been feeling for the last ETERNITY, he walls himself off from everyone." Those large white eyes glimmered slightly, glancing away. "Even from me."

Kotori's mouth snapped shut with an audible click. She...couldn't think of a reply to that. Kaguya continued.

"To take in that much power and emotion; well, its nothing for one such as me, but I can see why it might've made him just a little "off" now that he's starting to feel again. I have been immortal for more than age. By comparison, he's still quite young. Don't worry. He'll be back to normal in the morning. I understand he has made arrangements for Tohka to go to school, yes?"

Well, yes, Kotori knew she'd been had there. She had shamelessly abused her Ratatoskr connections so the former Spirit could indeed attend classes. Coupled with a little intimidation-along with a load of blackmail!-they'd accomplished in a few hours what might have taken months, otherwise. They'd even procured a uniform and documentation for her. Tomorrow would be her very first day in school, in the beginnings of a new, normal life, one hopefully free from danger.

But why was Kaguya asking about...oh no.

She realized it in the same instant that those white-whine eyes shone with impish light.

"We think we might like to experience this "school" for ourselves."

Poor Kotori wailed:

"WHY IS MY LIFE SO COMPLICATED?!"


(The next day...)

Naruto couldn't remember the last time he'd awoken in the arms of another. It had been...

...a very long time.

He did not count those brief trysts with Kaguya-those frantic moments in which they availed themselves of their loneliness with one another and then went their separate ways for almost decades at a time. No, this was different, for the first time in forever...

...Uzumaki Naruto simply woke up and realized he wasn't alone in bed.

There was no moment of fleeting panic when his eyes opened; he knew at once where and when he was. Just as he knew who was presently drooling on his shoulder and making soft mewling noises in her sleep. Being a God had its perks, after all. Instant awareness was one of many-his mind knew instantly what he'd done yesterday and then, later at night-that roller coaster of emotional high he'd been on; Kaguya knocking him out before he became too ornery.

He remembered it all.

What bothered him was that he couldn't bring himself to feel any sort of shame for what he'd done to Kotori, stealing her first kiss like that. At all. Not in the slightest.

That bothered him, somewhat. She might not be his sister by blood, but there were still some lines even he had yet to cross.

But what truly bothered-and aroused-him was the sleepy spirit currently spooning against him.

Somehow Tohka had found her way into a very unusual position during the night; he could feel her breasts pushing up against his back, her arms wrapped tight around his chest. It would've been almost cute, if not for the bone-crushing force behind the embrace. When he tried to move, she only squeezed tighter. He could still turn if he wanted to, it was just...uncomfortable.

"Oi. Tohka."

In more ways than one!

"Muwah...Naruto...hungry..."

A sleepy mumble was her answer. Moment later he felt something sharp and point sink into the flesh of his collarbone. Logic ceased to be. Was she chewing on him?! She was! No amount of training could have prepared Naruto for the strange sensation of being gnawed on. It had simply never been done before. Not even by Kaguya. Needles to say, he freaked out.

"OI?! TOHKA STO-mmph."

Unfortunately in his haste to escape, he failed to calculate just what would happen by turning around when a starving spirit was chewing on him. End result; her mouth was left sucking on something that was very much not skin. Blue eyes bulged. His brain stopped working, just for a moment. It had been ages since he'd been this intimate with anyone and here was someone kissing him after an eternity without any form of any contact physical or otherwise. He lost himself.

Just.

Like.

That.

Still half-asleep, Tohka found herself jostled towards consciousness, if only in part when her back greeted the mattress. Her mouth moved over his, tongue dancing against his own. Hmm. She'd been having such a nice dream, and she was feeling rather good...or was she still dreaming? She'd had a nice thing called a date, then Naruto had beaten up the Mecha Mecha Squad and now he was kissing her, still kissing her...

"Uh...Tohka?"

Nope. Not dreaming.

Her eyes snapped open. Instant awareness. Instant recognition.

"Oh," she greeted him with a yawn and a sleepy smile, scrubbing at her eyes with the back of a hand. No, she realized as she squinted through hazy shards of morning sunlight, this wasn't a dream. It was something oh so much better. It was real. "Its Naruto." her lips curled upwards even further. "Morning." Typical Tohka innocence, with just a dusting of nonchalance. However, when she kissed him again, this time entirely aware. She didn't know why, but kissing felt oh so nice.

"Well, ah, yes...good morning to you, too." Naruto coughed, breaking the kiss.

She wriggled happily against him, purring like a contented kitten. "Kissing is nice. Very nice."

He couldn't have said it any better if he'd tried.

"You know, as much I'm enjoying this, you do have to get ready for school."

Her ears twitched in place of her ribbon. "School?"

"Well, yeah. If you're going to have normal life, that's going to be a part of it, unfortunately-

Brrrmble.

Aaaaaand that would be her stomach.

"But I'm hungry~!"

"Then I'll get you breakfast, first. Whaddya want?"

Her eyes lit up.

"Kinako bread!"

"Sure, we can get some on the way-GAH!"

"Naruto!"

Her wary cry and instant glomp no jutsu almost made him proud. It also made him wonder.

Where was Kaguya anyway? He couldn't feel her in the seal. Had she gone outside to pout?

As luck would have it, he'd soon find out.


(Not an hour later...)

"Everyone, let me introduce some new transfer students!" Tamae Okamine chimed happily as the bell rang.

Naruto barely glanced up from his desk, narrowly restraining a smile at his favorite girl in uniform.

"My name is Yatgogami Tohka! Nice to meet you all!" A pause, then, "Can I sit next to Naruto?"

Half the class face-palmed.

"Yes, yes, of course! There's an empty seat right there."

"Yay!"

Now that, he had been expecting. He'd schooled her exhaustively on what to say, and was pleased to see her claim a seat directly beside him. But who was this other newcomer? Lazily, his eyes trailed towards the door as it slid open once more...

...and then they bulged.

Kaguya?!

No, no...it was definitely Kaguya, but she looked...younger.

Much younger.

Gone was the overwhelming, intimidating body of a grown woman; in her place lay the subtle, graceful beauty of a sixteen-year old girl. She'd discarded her horns and sealed her third eye, but even without those, she'd easily win a beauty pageant he thought. She looked like in ethereal angel, her pale, heart-shaped face and pale eyes framed by a curtain of white silken tresses, brushing the back of her knees. Her eyes sought his from across the the room, gleaming brightly for a moment, before she turned and scribbled her name on the chalkboard.

"You may call me Ootsuki Kaguya-sama." she said, visibly preening beneath the attention of the class. "Overlord of all."

Naruto nearly choked on his own spit.

'That's the introduction she'd make?!'

"I would also like a seat next to Naruto." she added smugly, turning to the teacher.

"Um...Kaguya-san? I'm afraid that's not-

"I will sit next to Naruto."

Okamine-sensei visibly wriggled beneath that penetrating stare. Naruto pitied her. He was just about the only one capable of resisting such a genjutsu; poor Tamae didn't stand a chance. In less than an instant her eyes seemed to glaze over, taking on distant, almost vacant look.

"Well, Origami-chan is absent-

"Then I shall take her seat." Kaguya beamed, striding gracefully to the vacancy.

"What the hell are you doing here, baka usagi?!" he hissed. Calling her a stupid rabbit was the closest thing to an insult, and she knew it.

"I wish to witness the school life for myself." came the haughty-and entirely too loud!-reply from his resident goddess. "'Tis boring, sleeping inside you all day."

"How do you sleep inside someone?" Tohka, ever curious, inquired.

Naruto groaned as a few eyes turned towards them. "Gah! Don't give them ideas like that!"

Kaguya's long lashes fluttered in an innocent blink. "Why, whatever do you mean?"

'Well, at least this can't get any wor-

And then, as if to mock that very asertation, the door slid open one last time. His sixth sense screamed an alarm.

If Kaguya was an ethereal beauty then this one was almost ephemeral in appearance. A lone red eye shone out at him from a pale heart-shaped face, framed by dark, lustrous hair the color of night itself. Bound in twin tails that fell nearly over her chest, she looked. A lone eye the color of blood shone out at him.

"My name is Kurumi Tokisaki." she introduced herself with a bow, facing away from the board.

This time, the class erupted.

"Whoa!"

"Ooh!"

"She's here!"

"I am a Spirit." the blackette finished, smiling benignly. Kaguya's laugh told him all he needed to know about the clarity of that statement. Then she saw him, and those full lips curled into a smile. "Oh! If it isn't Naruto-san! Sensei, would it be alright if I-

Naruto twitched.

Why is she acting like she knows me, oi?!

"No." the still hypnotized Okamine murmured.

"Ara, that's most unfortunate."

Naruto's head struck the desk with enough force to shatter it.

"Fuck. My. Life."


"Is there a problem, Naruto-san?"

Naruto felt his ears twitch as he stormed down the stairs. "No, no problem. None at all...

Yes, there was a problem. The problem was that he'd been roped into showing Kurumi around school; the problem being that his every sense screamed she was dangerous, that she was a spirit, but more than that. He could smell the blood on her. Her very soul-if it could be called such-was stained with it. Kotori insisted that he do something about it and try to win her affections, but when he tried to argue she simply hung up on him. He'd been half-tempted to warp up there and spank her again, but didn't feel like wasting the energy.

Kaguya had taken Tohka off to kami-knew-where for the express purpose of showing her something. He didn't know. Knowing Kaguya, he really didn't want to know...and having her at school was a whole other can of worms right there...

Worse, Kurumi gave the distinct impression that she knew him, but for the life of him, he simply couldn't recall meeting someone like her, not a once.

This really wasn't his day...

"Naruto-san?"

Shaking himself back to reality was an effort in and of itself at this point. "Hmm? You say some...why are you holding my arm?" He was still iffy about physical contact. Tohka had opened the door, but it still took will on his part not to slam it shut again. Kurumi was making that very, very difficult indeed...

"Oh? Would you rather...I didn't?" she gazed up at him as they walked, naive and innocent. For some reason, it only made him angry. Tohka was innocent. Tohka was naive. This creature was not. She was insidious and deadly and beguiling and every second spent with her dug under him and bored into his skin like little ants. The worst part of it all was that his body was actually responding to those teasing touches...! He longed for her despite barely knowing her, years of going without, of abstaining all eating at him in this instant.

And he hated himself for his weakness.

"Cut the act."

"I haven't the foggiest idea of what you mean, Naruto-san." Kurumi soothed, "I'm not acting at all. I truly enjoy your company." Humming, she returned her attention to the poster before them. "Now, I believe you were telling me the best food here at the school."

"Ramen." it slipped out before he could stop himself. "That's my favorite."

Her laugh was...well, it was actually a little pleasant. No! Vile creature! Evil! Resist!

"Ara, that isn't very health for you, is it?"

"Do I look unhealthy to you?" he quipped, glaring.

"No," Her eye traced over him, longingly, fingers tracing the hard notes of his arm. "Not at all." Naruto jerked free, shuddering and cursing his body for betraying him.

"Will you...will you stop that?!"

"Ara," she giggled, grabbing him and hugging even tighter. "Stop what? I'm just touching you."

"I don't like being touched." he muttered.

She poked him in the side.

"Aaaargh!"

Such were the next two hours of his life as they toured the premises, trading verbal jabs Kurumi's with Kurumi for the sake of "saving" her. Did she even want to be saved, he wondered? She was the exact opposite of Tohka in almost every way, but try as he might, he still couldn't pinpoint the scent of blood that seemed to emanate from her. It was painfully obvious she was dangerous, but despite that he still lingered, showing her around. Even after Kaguya mentally pinged him that she and Tohka were safely at home, he still didn't leave.

For only the second time in as many days, he was enjoying himself. He told himself he would be ready for whatever tricks she attempted, that he would be prepared.

Finally, he led Kurumi to the roof.

By now, the sun was well past its zenith, painting the world orange and red, a bright easel of color. How long had it been since he'd stopped to admire one of those? Too long. These spirits, these girls...what were they doing to him? Here he was, enjoying something he'd seen countless times in his lifetime. As though he were seeing it for the first time. It frightened him. And yet in the same vein, it also excited.

Simple things, right.

"And there you go." he muttered as Kurumi stepped past him, the words lacking in their rancor. "I've shown you everything about the school. Hope you're satisfied." For a moment it seemed as though she were, gazing out at the fading orb, her fingers curling around the weathered links. Then she turned, and the fading light caught her dark hair just so and...wow. He ran a quick check on his psyche just to make certain Kurumi wasn't playing with his head. And, to his disbelief...

...she wasn't.

"Ara, but I would preferred to learn more about you, Naruto-san."

"You barely even know me." he grunted, moving to stand beside her. She still pressed him.

"But I'd like to know more."

The sunset made the sky look bloody now, he thought. Like her eyes.

"Such as?"

That gaze turned hungry. "Whatever you'd like."

"You show me yours, I'll show you mine."

"I suppose that sounds fair."

He wasn't expecting her to outright change in front of him.

Before his very eyes she did a little spin on her left foot and simply...became someone else.

Scarlet streamers of light erupted around her, blowing back her hair and obliterating her uniform in the same instant. Gone was the school attire now, replaced by a frilly, free-flowing red and black dress. Her hair bound itself up in twin ponytails, exposing her left eye at last; a golden orb with what looked like the hands of a clock within. All red and black frills, exposing pale shoulders, she looked like a creature out of some dark fantasy, liable to kill as kiss him, a gun-slinging beauty if he'd ever seen one.

The words tumbled out before he could stop them.

"You're beautiful."

For the first time since they'd met, Kurumi flushed. "Ara, how bold!" she fanned furiously at her face with a hand, "You really musn't say such things to a lady like me, Naruto-san. You're liable to get me excited-oh!" Her words trailed off into startled silence as his body disintegrated, making way for the aptly named "God Mode" as Kurumi called it. A look of pure lust flickered through those mismatching orbs for what felt like an eternity, only to vanish as he met her lidded gaze.

"My, my, aren't you a fiery one."

"You have no idea." he was suddenly infinitely aware of just how close she was. "But to answer your question; there's a lot to tell."

"We have plenty of time."

The words hit him like a knife in the gut. Time. The one thing he had too much off. "Too much."

Her laugh was a like a wake-up-call, a harsh slap of reality to the face.

"You're strange. How can you have too much time?" his bark of laughter elicited a frown.

"You're one to talk!"

Her eyes darkened. "If you knew my abilities, you wouldn't be saying that." the clack of a loaded pistol and rifle filled his ears. "One can never have too much time." Naruto didn't even bat an eyelash. He'd faced greater threats in Kaguya, now his ally, and many others. He had nothing to fear from Kurumi.

"Hey now, I'm not here to start a fight. I'd kill you."

Ah, he knew that grin. "Aren't we confident?"

"No, just tired of killing."

Eventually, she lowered her weapons. "Very well. Continue."

"I worry, you know?" He continued, looking away. "Everywhere I go, I feel like I'm leaving everyone, everything behind." His hand swirled, creating a small rasengan in his palm and banishing it in the same instant. "Its like this jutsu. I let go of it, just for a second, and WHAM! It all blows up in my face. And yet, yesterday, despite knowing the pain it'll eventually bring me, I opened myself to someone."

He almost missed the sadistic look in her eye when he mentioned someone. Almost, but not quite.

The silence was telling.

"Fuck it all, I don't even know why I'm telling you this. I barely even know you. And you annoy me." He knew that much was true. Yet on the same level, he found himself enjoying their little verbal spars, found himself hoping Kurumi really wasn't that bad. Oh, he knew she was dangerous. But Tohka was dangerous too, in a different way...

"And what would you do?" she whispered, touching his face. "If you didn't have to worry?"

"Things."

"Such as?" she repeated, turning his visage to hers.

"..."

His eyes went red and the beast-the desire-came roaring out before he could stop it.

"This."

In a flash Kurumi found herself all but pinned to the fence, the chain links creaking in protest of her weight. A knee pushed itself between the folds of her skirt and upon her most sensitive area, drawing a warm flush to her cheeks as it pressed against her warm center. A dark, predatory grin pulled at her mouth and her lips were on his before he could even think to kiss her.

Fierce.

That was perhaps the best way he could think to describe her kisses, full of passion and desire, her body arching up to meet his, despite the pressure he was exerting on her smaller body. For once in his life, Naruto felt no fear of hurting her, with every second her cries-moans?!-told him he was doing everything she wanted. His hand found her breast and fondled it, the other taking up residence on the back of the Spirit's head, forcing her mouth, her tongue ever closer, ever deeper.

It was freeing.

Liberating to let go, to lose himself in the moment, the present. To not think, not feel, in spite of the pain he knew it would bring. Kurumi's hands fumbled at his back, fingertips roaming, tracing across every inch of him they could possibly find; as if every second they tangled in one another was an orgasm for her. Maybe it was. Her lips were like fire on his now, his hands tugging at her dress, exposing the pale globe of a breast to the fading daylight before attacking it with his mouth.

It was glorious.

"Ahn~!" Kurumi purred, writhing madly as his mouth found that particularly sensitive spot on said nipple, biting fiercely, "This is why I want you, Naruto-san~! You're bold. Not afraid to take what you want. To demand! You're nothing like Shido...

Just like that, the world stopped. Naruto paused, his desire frozen to ice. Stepped back. Looked Kurumi in the eye.

"Itsuka...Shido?"

In his head, Kaguya cursed across their shared bond. "Oh, dear. She pressed THAT button."

"Ara, is there a problem, Naruto-kun?" the blackette smiled innocently, nearly devilish in her delight. "You look like you've seen a ghost. Don't stop now, I was just starting to enjoy myself!"

In essence, he had. She was talking about someone he'd failed to save. The reason he was here, living this life. But he didn't mind that. What bothered him was thus; he'd failed. It was his greatest shame, his greatest failure. To be reminded of his failure on that miserable day ignited something in his chest, a furious fire that refused to be extinguished despite his best efforts. In spite of his legendary restraint, he found himself slowly inching toward violence.

"How do you know about that?"

"I have my ways." she hummed, stepping forward to hold his arm. "That poor girl. Poor, poor Kotori-chan, she's using you as a substitute for the real thing. And Mana..."

A muscle jumped in his jaw.

"But I don't mind," Her tongue touched his cheek before he could think to stop her, licking the whiskers on that side. "I think you're far tastier. After all, I want to eat you up, swallow you whole. Now come Naruto-san, I want you...I want you so badly...

"Hmph."

Blue eyes flashed and in the next instant they jumped.

There could be no other word for it Kurumi thought; one moment they'd been inside the school; the next they were simple somewhere else. Teleportation...? She didn't recognize the dark room and even if she had she wouldn't have had the time to contemplate it; because strong hands seized her by the hips and slammed her into the wall with bone-crushing force. A startled gasp fled from her lips.

"Ah!"

An attack like that would've seriously injured a normal human. But Kurumi?

She giggled.

"Oh, so scary," the words tumbled from her breathless lips, curled now in a slight sigh. "I think I rather like this side of you, Naruto-kun." She cocked her head, calmly staring into those furious blue orbs without even a glimmer of fear. "Are you going to ravage me now? Have your way with me?" her hips wriggled against him invitingly. "Make me scream?"

"I could do much worse than that." he growled. "You say you want to devour me for this goal of yours, but tell me...WHAT WOULD YO DO IF I DEVOURED YOU?"

"W-W-What...?" A lone red eye stared back at him, widening slightly now in surprise as his nose actually brushed hers then...he put his mouth...THERE!

The kiss was as savage as it was sudden, his lips slamming into hers with such force that the enamel of their teeth jarred together with a harsh click. He didn't allow her to retreat, or to advance, he simply pinned her to the wall and did just that; have his way with her. Her clothes were suddenly gone but she barely noticed; her mouth parting for him with a moan, gladly granting access to his tongue, her hands shooting up to entangle themselves around both his neck; her legs, his waist. Ah -this was it!- what she wanted for long...

Every cell of her body was sudden alive and aching, demanding his touch.

Mine.

Mine!

MINE!

And then it ended.

Abruptly, the room spun wildly around them.

Her vision cleared, and she found herself standing alone in the school's hallway, gasping for breath, disheveled and still dripping with lust. Naked. Naruto's smile was telling. No. No, he hadn't! But he had. Unbalanced, she could only sputter in disbelief. He'd taken them. Her power -her ability!- was gone, as though it had never been. A threat of fear wove itself into the tapestry of her heart.

"I...you...that was..." Words couldn't even begin to describe it.

"If you really want to be scary," he murmured, lips brushing her ear, "You're going to have to do better than that. Much better. Do you know what I think is scary?" his hand moved to cup her face, inching her visage to his. "Losing control. Having no say over what your body does, being bound only to your desires, to be rendered helpless by another. To be powerless. I'm going to show you that fear. The fear you seem to like so much, the very you inflict on others.

A finger thrust itself before her face. "One day." he said, showing her a scroll. "See this? I've used this to seal strange powers and abilities before; takes a lot preparation. Usually one day. That's how long I'm capable of sealing your powers with this method. After that, this baby will disintegrate and you'll get them back. And so for twenty-four hours, you're nothing more...than a normal human. You can be hurt. You can bleed. You can die."

Kurumi stood there for a full three seconds before she realized what that meant. The frailness of her new body. Vulnerability.

Death.

"You mean...?"

"Can. Will. Did." His smile was decidedly sinister as he threw her his coat.

"Turnabout is fair play."

His hand split the wall mere millimeters from her face. "Not so bold now, are we? If you want those powers of yours back, you're going to have to be a good girl and do what I say. That means no more killing, none of this devouring me business, none of it. Come to think of it, we should go on a date tomorrow, you and I. Twelve o'clock in the plaza? Why yes, that sounds wonderful! And I'd stay away from the AST if I were you. Ya might die for reals if they kill ya."

She pouted.

...well, that's not fair at all. You've put me at a sever disadvantage, Naruto-san."

"Sorry, no fucks have been given."

"If that's what you want. "Kurumi remained determined to keep a straight face. "Leaving a poor, vulnerable girl like me out in the open." She did not succeed. Death. The thought chilled her. She didn't want to die. Not before completing her goal. Perhaps not even then. She was fond of living. Even so, she did not wish to give her adversary the satisfaction of seeing her weakness. And yet, the fear persisted. I don't want to die. If that annoying wizard found me in this state, surely she'd kill me, and then I'd...

Naruto must have seen that flicker of distress however because his expression changed.

"See, I could leave now, or...

"Or?"

...ooooooor you could take my hand and save yourself the trouble of hiding the whole day until our date." he said, offering her his upturned palm. "Its your choice." There. If she refused, he was determined to wash his hands of her for today and leave it up to whimsy. He was a firm believer in helping lost causes, but if she was going to be stubborn about it, there was no point in even trying.

He thought he saw a flash of gold beneath her hair, just then. Her other eye, perhaps?

"And if I don't?"

"You're basically screwed." he grinned.

"Ara, it seems I don't have much choice then, Naruto-san."

"No. You don't."

"Very well," Kurumi accepted his hand demurely feeling like she'd just been trolled, "I accept your humble offer of hospitality. I hope you won't do anything untoward to me until our date."

Oh, how little she knew...


A/N: Aaaaaaaaaand there we go! An ageless, immortal, or at the very least, ridiculously hard to kill, Uzumaki Naruto, in the Date A Live universe. A cross like this was actually easy to do, given its Japan and all, so I went with it easily. And to those looking forward to my future Naruto self-insert story, I can promise you its-a-comin'! As are my Bleach and Naruto one's. If you want to see my first attempt at a Self-Insert story with a twist, be sure to check out Not a Hero on my profile page!

I eagerly await your reviews and responses to both that fic, and this! Don't worry, Yoshino's scenario's going to be quite different from the one in the show, but I want to dedicate a full chapter to her, for that. Look forward to it, ya know!

So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly? And of course, enjoy the preview! Hope it makes you smile. And Review! Or face the wrath of TOHKA! BAHAHAHA! I'm also switching things up here! Tis a short one!

(Preview)

"Naruto...what is sex?"

The blond promptly spat out his drink in hilarious fashion. Of course, since he was facing a wall, that resulted in him spewing juice all over his nice new clothes. The clothes he'd been intending to wear for his date, now dripping with orange juice. Somewhere in the house, he could have sworn he heard Kaguya cackle. An eye began to twitch, a muscle jumping in his jaw.

"Ara," Kurumu giggled behind her hand, "It seems you've made a mess, Naruto-san."

Sputtering, he turned his attentions on the one who had started all this.

"Tohka...

"Hai?" she blinked, her words muffled around a piece of kinako bread.

"Who told you to ask me that?" His eye was twitching violently now, which made her wonder if she'd said something wrong. But she saw no reason why she shouldn't tell him the truth...what could possibly be the harm in it? So she swallowed her snack and did just that. She told him:

"Kaguya Onee-sama did, of course!"

"Oi oi oi oi...

R&R!=D