Chapter Three
The Children
Sam sat on the couch and instantly found three pairs of eyes staring at him. Somewhat startled, because he wasn't used to being the center of such unwanted attention, he stared back at the owners of the eyes: three of the children that he was in charge of for the night.
The kids were seated on the floor, sitting cross-legged and staring at him with perfectly expressionless faces as though they were posing for a camera and Sam found the whole effect slightly unnerving. They were even sitting in order of youngest to oldest, with four-year old Stevie Sanders imitating five-year-old Mia Reynolds, who was trying to act as though eight-year-old Erika Flowers had copied her wide-eyed pose.
Sam cleared his throat and shifted on the couch, trying to elicit some motion from the children. "Hey, guys." He finally remarked, smiling uncertainly. "Shouldn't you be playing or something?"
Erika stuck her bottom lip out, the perfect pouting expression. "I want to go home." She told him frankly. "I want my mother."
"Me too." Seconded Mia, who nodded her head vigorously, causing her plastic tiara to go slipping off her head and onto the floor. The girl was dressed from head to toe like every Disney movie princess Sam had ever known, complete with fabric slippers that were imitations of Cinderella's glass ones, Snow White's dress and Princess Jasmine's tiara. Frankly, the kid freaked Sam out but what made him even more uncomfortable was the fact that her parents actually allowed her to dress like a five-year-old hooker.
Sam sighed. "Well, you're going to be staying over here for a while." He told the girls. "Okay?"
"No." Erika told him primly. "I want to go home. I can stay by myself."
Sam looked anxiously toward the door, where Laura was still standing, assuring the parents of the latest drop-off that everything was under control. Laura seemed to be more prepared to handle these children then he was; after all, she'd babysat them before and had a younger sister. Here he was, with no siblings and no idea how to amuse three kids who seemed to believe that fun was staring at him like the demon from The Exorcist.
But he couldn't let these kids drive him to seek Laura's immediate assistance because this was his chance to prove that he was capable of handling himself outside an academic situation. How was it going to look if he had to drag her into the living room to get the kids' attention away from him.
"Why don't you go play tag." Sam suggested. "Or Twister."
Erika looked at him. "We're in the house." She told him, as if Sam hadn't observed this fact himself. "We can't play tag." She was only eight but she talked as though she was twenty-one and acted like it as well. Sam wished that he could just stick a movie on, Finding Nemo maybe, and put the kids to bed. Then maybe he could have his alone time with Laura.
"Fine, not tag then." Sam said but before he could suggest anything else, the youngest child spoke up.
"I want to play tag!" Stevie cried, leaping to his feet. "I'm fast like a cheetah! No one can catch me!" He then proceeded to take off running into the kitchen.
Sam got off the couch and hurried after him. "No running in the house." He shouted, very aware that Laura and the parent she was talking to were now paying attention to him. He grabbed Stevie by the arm and yanked him to a halt. "Go watch television."
Stevie yanked away from him and glared. "No." He snapped with four-year-old authority. "I hate T.V.!" This, of course, was a lie but he knew very well that Sponge-Bob Squarepants was not on and if this unknown teenage boy was going to stick him in room with a bunch of girls then he was not going down without a fight.
Sam took his arm again and pulled him back toward the living room. "Of course you like T.V." He argued. "All kids like T.V."
"I don't." Said the ever verbal Erika. "I like reading and painting."
Sam groaned. "Of course you do." He mumbled, shoving Stevie back into the room. "Find something to play with." He commanded all three of the children, casting another glance toward Laura. It appeared that she was just wrapping it up with the over-bearing mother.
Laura offered the woman with a name she couldn't quite remember her most winning smile and said, "Don't worry, everything will be fine. You can have a good time and not have to worry about a thing."
The nameless woman looked at her nine-year-old son with a look of motherly love and worry. "I don't know...it's the first time Frankie's ever been away from home."
Her son whirled to face her with a look of anger spreading across his face. "Mom!" He shouted loud enough to surely catch the attention of the people in the surrounding apartments. "I told you! My name is not Frankie, it's Agent Cody Banks! Cody Banks!"
Laura looked at the kid in surprise, not finding it hard to believe anymore that Frankie had never been away from home. "Right." She said, managing to keep the smile on her face. She looked back at the mother. "He's in good hands." She promised.
"All right." The woman agreed finally with a smile. "I suppose I trust you; I mean, your mother is such a wonderful woman."
Laura wanted to ask if this woman was talking about the same Michelle Chapman but managed to keep her thoughts to herself and nod. "Right." She said once more with a more hesitant smile. "That's my mother."
The woman bent down and kissed her son on the cheek, ruffling his hair. "Now you be good Frankie and call Mommy if you need anything."
"It's Agent Cody Banks!" Frankie cried just as Laura slammed the door shut, more then happy to separate the woman from her very strange son. "Cody Banks." The kid remarked again, looking up at Laura. "How hard is that to remember?"
Laura shrugged. "I don't know." She mumbled briskly, ushering him toward the living room. "Go play with the other kids." She commanded before following him into the living room.
The sight she was greeted with caused her to laugh out loud before she could stop herself. Sam was sitting on the couch, staring once again at a trio of children that were studying him as though he were something they had never seen before. Sam looked like he was thinking the same thing and the expression on his face was too adorable not to laugh at.
Sam looked over at her when she entered, looking at first a little hurt by her laughter. "What's so funny?" He questioned, his eyes flicking back to the kids. Before Laura could answer, he noticed that another child had joined the pack. "Oh great, we've got another one." He mumbled, looking at the boy. "What's your name?"
"Agent Cody Banks." Frankie answered promptly, sitting down next to Stevie and nudging him. "You wanna fight? I can be Cody Banks and you can be the bad guy."
Stevie looked at him. "Yeah!" He agreed quickly. "I watch wrestling, I will take you down!"
Laura looked at the boys with wide eyes before deciding that now would be the time to intervene. "No, there will be no wrestling in the living room." She paused. "Or ever. Find a nicer game to play."
Stevie looked at Laura and crossed his pudgy four-year-old arms crossed his equally pudgy chest. "I want to fight." He told her slowly. "I'm going to fight you too."
Sam got off the couch. "No fighting." He repeated, wishing that he was coming to Laura's aid for something a little bit more dramatic. That way he could really feel like a knight in shining armor. "Find some toys to play with."
"There are no toys." Erika informed him. "I already checked."
Laura shot Sam an apologetic glance. "We grew out of the toys years ago." She told him.
Before anything more could be said, a shrill whistle filled the apartment, causing Sam and Laura to wince. Mia looked as though the sound was something to cry about and her chin started quivering and she clutched her Disney Princess blanket close against her chest. "What was that?" She questioned almost fearfully.
Sam was about to ask the same thing but he noticed that Laura was already narrowing her eyes and shaking her head slowly. "She wouldn't." She mumbled to herself and Sam decided she could only be referring to one person. Tessa.
Another whistle, louder this time and even more obnoxious, filled the apartment and seconds later, Tessa emerged from her bedroom with a white, plastic recorder in her mouth and an Easy-Bake Oven box in her hands. Announcing herself once more by blowing on the recorder, Tessa grinned at her sister as though she could do no wrong.
Laura stalked toward the girl and snatched the recorder out of Tessa's mouth before she could blow in it again. "What did Mom tell you about playing this damn thing in the house?" She snapped, brandishing the world's most annoying instrument.
Tessa narrowed her eyes at her. "I'm practicing." She answered sharply. "For school." She knew that if there was one thing Laura hated the most in the world, it was loud noises and she could think of no louder noise then that of the recorder.
"Outside." Laura reminded her. "Mom said you practice outside."
"It's eight thirty." Tessa told Laura. "Do you want me to get kidnapped?"
"Yes." Laura answered and shoved her sister toward the door. "Have a good time and don't come back until late."
Tessa whirled around to face Laura once again and kicked her in the shin. "I'm telling Mom that you want me to die." She told her sister, who was trying to act as though the kick hadn't caught her off guard or, worse, actually hurt. "I hate you Laura."
Sam watched the sisterly conflict with a great deal of interest, trying to decide when the best time to come to Laura's aid would be. The only good thing about the fight was that it had mesmerized the other children, making them abandon their own hopes of becoming Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Not at all bothered by the comment, Laura watched as her sister walked into the kitchen and proceeded to open her Easy-Bake Oven box and dump it all over the counter. "What are you doing?" She questioned. "Clean that up and go to your room."
"No." Tessa snapped, plugging in the oven. "I want to bake." She looked at the younger girls. "Do you guys want to help me?"
Sam saw what Tessa was doing perhaps even before Laura did and decided to jump in before Tessa could rally her little crew of minions. "No, there's no baking." He told them. "It's too late to bake; it's time to start calming down and go to sleep."
Erika stood up. "My mother says that I don't have a bedtime." She informed him. "Because I am old enough to make my own choices." She looked at Tessa. "And I choose to bake a cupcake."
Mia jumped to her feet as well, clutching her blanket and tiara to her chest. "Me too!" She shouted, making Laura wince. Why was it that all kids believed that in order to be heard they had to scream? "Cupcakes!"
"Absolutely not." Laura stated, heading over to where Tessa was "innocently" looking over the ingredients for making cupcakes. She unplugged the oven. "Put that away Tessa and go do your homework."
"You're not fun, Laura." Tessa told her as she reluctantly shoved the oven back into it's box. She then looked at Sam. "I hope you have a good time when you're married, being mean and having no fun." Tessa looked back at Laura. "And studying."
Laura hit her sister with the recorder. "Go to your room, Tessa." She shoved her sister in that direction. "And don't come out for the rest of the night."
Tessa stuck her tongue out at Laura. "You can't tell me what to do." She told her. "You're not my mother."
Sam looked at Laura, wishing that he had something comforting to say but the only thing he could think about was the fact that Tessa had obviously hit a nerve when she mentioned marriage. Was it possible that Laura was that unattracted to him that the thought of marriage was too much to handle? Or was it something else?
Before Sam could pursue this matter any further in his mind, he noticed that Stevie had climbed onto the fireplace and was about to body slam the unsuspecting Frankie. On top of it all, the two girls looked close to tears.
"But-" Mia pouted, "I want to bake."
Erika looked at Laura. "Your sister can at least leave the oven." She told her reasonably. "That way we don't all have to be punished because you want to marry that boy." She pointed back at Sam but didn't look at him.
Both Sam and Laura were so caught off guard by the remark that neither of them noticed when Stevie leapt off the fireplace and landed on Frankie. Both boys instantly started wailing, which set Mia to crying and Erika to shouting about how everything was too loud.
Laura and Sam both rushed to the screaming boys, pulling them off one another. Laura noticed that, while Stevie's intentions had been to body slam the boy with a identity disorder, he had only managed to bang his face against the hardwood floor and kick Frankie in the stomach.
"This is just great." Laura mumbled, scooping Stevie into her arms and heading for the bathroom. She was halfway there when the doorbell rang, causing her to cast a panicked glance in Sam's direction. "Can you answer that?"
"Of course." Sam told her, but doubted that Laura could hear him over the screaming children. One knight-in-shining armor to the rescue, he thought, leaving behind the crying children and putting on his best 'I have no idea where that screaming is coming from' look as he answered the door.
The woman standing on the other side already had a concerned look on her face. "Is everything all right?" She questioned, looking at Sam intently.
"Of course." Sam assured her. "That's just the T.V." Oh, good one Hall, he thought, she'll never see through that. But he kept that smile on his face.
The woman didn't look so sure but something else had entered her mind. "I thought Michelle had a daughter." She said.
"Oh, she does." Sam answered quickly. "I'm just Laura's friend from school, here to help her baby sit." He had kept that smile on his face so long that it was beginning to feel fake.
"Hmm..." The woman mumbled. "I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with that." She peered past Sam, as though searching for something. "Are then any adults here?"
Sam wanted to slap that woman; of course there were no adults here, that was the point of having teenagers baby sit. But before he could come up with any acceptable response, Tessa appeared, pushing him aside and smiling at the woman. "I'm here Ms. Gesner." Sam looked down at the pint-sized Chapman, who had a smile on her face that would have been as charming as Laura's if it hadn't been so evil. "I'll make sure everyone behaves themselves."
The woman, whom Sam assumed was Ms. Gesner, smiled at Tessa. Sam couldn't believe this was happening; how could this little terror come in and under-mind him and make everything all right? He always thought he was a trust worthy looking guy, but it appeared at a ten-year old who would kick her gorgeous sister had more going for her.
"And just how are the twins?" Tessa continued, looking away from the mother and to the children.
For the first time, Sam thought to look at them too, not liking the way Tessa had addressed them. Twins? Maybe they were fraternal.
No such luck. The five-year-old boys standing in front of their mother were identical, down to the clothes they wore and the dimples in their cheeks. Sam wanted to beat his head against the door; how were they supposed to tell the difference between these boys? She could have at least dressed them differently.
"They're fine." Ms. Gesner stated proudly, resting one hand on each child's shoulder. She looked up at Sam, her smile fading slightly. "This one is Jake." She said, gesturing toward the one on the left. "And this is Jack."
"Cute." Sam mumbled, deadpan. Even their names were similar; did this woman want her kids to grow up with no separate identities? "Okay, well, there's lots of other children for them to play with so I'm sure they'll be fine."
Ms. Gesner nodded and nudged her boys into the apartment. She looked at Tessa. "Keep an eye on them." She advised.
"Like a hawk." Tessa promised and bid the woman goodbye, shutting the door. As soon as the door was shut, she turned toward Sam. "Like a hawk Sam, a hawk." She informed. "And do you know what hawks do? They eat the weak, loser mice that try to sleep with their sisters."
Sam's mouth dropped open. "What?" He said, so confused that was all he could manage. "What are you talking about?" This was one strange child. A strange child with the gift of reading minds it seemed.
Tessa nodded knowingly. "Oh yes, I have you all figured out Sam." She informed him. "And I know what you're planning on doing with my sister. Just remember," she paused for dramatic effect but Sam wouldn't let her finish.
"I know, you're like a hawk." He finished, feeling his cheeks flush. It seemed as thought if you were under the age of twelve, you were blessed with the ability to learn that his every thought was about Laura and with the ability to embarrass him. Tessa nodded, appearing not to notice that she had just been made fun of. "Go to your room, Bird-Man."
Tessa narrowed her eyes. "You can't send me to my room. I don't even know you." She told him. Sam half expected her to shout out for her mother, and, upon realizing that her mother wasn't around, expected her to shout for her sister. But, she did neither and instead, stalked back toward her bedroom.
Sam was still trying to process what had happened and prayed that Laura hadn't over heard any of their conversation. If she believed, even for a minute, that all he wanted to do was get her in bed, then not only would he hate himself, but there'd be no chance of him ever being able to tell her how he really felt.
Luckily, Laura was still in the bathroom with the screaming Stevie and the children were still crying in the living room, making it impossible to hear anything. Sam looked back at the twins, who were staring at him expectantly. At least they were quiet.
Within seconds, Jack and Jake started up a battle-cry and went racing into the living room to join the fray. Confused as to how the innocent, quite children had suddenly disappeared, Sam followed them into the living room. "Quiet!" He shouted as soon as he entered, silencing every noise.
Mia looked at him accusingly. "You yelled at me." She told him. "You can't yell at princesses."
Erika looked at Sam. "I want to bake on the Easy Bake Oven." She told him. "And I want to go home."
Sam sighed. "Me too." He mumbled. "Me too."
So, there you go; the babysitting madness is about to begin. Just for the record, I'd like to say that every single child in this story, my best friend and I actually babysat one time (yes they were all together like that), including the twins that the mother thought would be hilarious to dress alike. Well, lady, it's not cute okay! Also, a shout-out to my four-year-old brother, even though he won't be reading this probably ever, whose real name is Caden: I know you're fast like a cheetah, a dying cheetah. Anyway, thanks for the great reviews, I'm glad everyone is liking this sort of unusual DAT story.
