Note: At the begining you hav 2 imagin the song, du du du duh dun dun, du du du duh dun dun, dun dun duhn duhn, the one off of Looney Tunes, usually wen Bugs is skating! Imagine it in ur so called heads until you hear an Annoyed Aerith saying..."ZACK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

Zack's Guide on How to Be...HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!

sizzle sizzle

OKAYYYYYY! Im here, ZACK FAIR!

OHHHHH! DO TELL! Yes I know: IM soooooo FAIR! Im perfect and HOTTTTTT!!!!!!!

Aerith! You actually remembered! This is the happiest day of my life! 'Sniffle'

(holds hands up to face, im mean perfect face...)

What?...you REALLY are an idiot...Yes! I really did didnt I?

Yes, you DID! And guess WHAT!?

WHAT...it better not be anything stupid like...putting me on his sh-

YOU GET TO BE ON MY SHOW! Yay! This is gonna be soooooo AWESOME!

Oh...god...Great! I'll go...get a baseball bat and knock you out...fix my hair!

OK! I'll start!

TOOOODDDDDAYYYYYY! ON ZACK FAIR! You will learn...HOW TO CATCH A BUTTERFLY!

YAYAYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

(runs back and forth, net in hand, a feild of flowers and butterflies) Oh and start the music! Lets bogiae!

DU, dun dun dun dun dun, duhn duhn, dun dun dun dun, duhn duhn duhn duhn, dun duhn dun duhn!!!!!!! du du duhn dun dun duh duh dun ...duh duhn duhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ooooooooooooh! I think I caught one! Yay! Its all sparklie and pretty! Yay! Im gonna get another...

DU, dun dun dun dun dun, duhn duhn, dun dun dun dun, duhn duhn duhn duhn, dun duhn dun duhn!!!!!!! du du duhn dun dun duh duh dun ...duh duhn duhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST WHAT am I doing? I dont wanna catch a butterfly!

I wanna catch a beautifly pink AND purple butterfly! YAY!

DU, dun dun dun dun dun, duhn duhn, dun dun dun dun, duhn duhn duhn duhn, dun duhn dun duhn!!!!!!! du du du- (mixing music stop, like on the movies)

ZACK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY?

(harp music, dunullll dunlll dun duh duhhhhh)

DIE! DIE! DIE! (Aerith attacking Zack with a baseball bat)

(harp music, dunullll dunlll dun duh duhhhhh)

I caught a pink and purple butterfly! Yay!

WHAT?! I seriously need to do that some day, you know hit him with a baseball bat...YOU mister are going to the doctor! You are getting anylised! For obsession with yourself...

LATER AT HOME, AFTER ANYALISIS...

(sitting in bed)

GUESS WHAT! Since I GET to stay at home for 2 MONTHS! I GET TO DO MY SHOW EVERY SINGLE DAY! Huh, wait Aerith...are you crying?

(weeping in room corner)

Nooo...snif...ummm...yessss...its just...two things...Im girlfriend to a phsyco...and...Im gonna have to spend my flower money...on a stainless steel baseball bat...Im SO sad that your SO sickkkkkkk...NO! Im gonna have to take care of him! NO I REFUSE!

Aerith? Can you go fix me some chicken noodle soup? With chocolate covered cherries for dessert?

I-I...how bout a baseball bat instead...Sure...

Oh yeah, but, I ONLY like home-made candy...prewwttyyy pwweeease?

Oh? Yeah...sure I'll mix em with the baseball bat...Ok hon, sure be ready in a bit!

TUUUUNNNNNEEEEEEEE In tommorow! For some more of ZACK FAIRS SECRETS! THANKYOU! Thankyou!

(Applause)

Thanks for reading! I KNOW this one was shorter! But It should be hilarious! My friend Jade helped me with this one! She came up with the infamous 'Baseball Bat' thoughts and imaginings! Thanks for the wonderful reviews and keep reading! Can you guess who will be the audience 'tommorow'? Review and the winner will recieve next weeks chapter in honor of you! Yayaayayayayyay! Zack will be real funny next time!