Author's Notes: Hello guys! Thanks for all your positive reviews! I'm glad you guys like it!

FoS' next chapter is being reviewed by my beta SwitchbladeSunsets, so I might as well post this one in the mean time.

Seeing that there are various suggestions regarding whose family Rin should be born to, I think a poll would be good to determine what you guys want her to be. I'm okay with anything, though I prefer her not to replace any of HP's original characters.

Rin should be born as:

- Cho Chang's sister

- Neville's sister

- Hermione's sister

- Luna's sister

- Harry's sister

- a random muggleborn

- others (please put up your suggestions)

Feel free to vote!

To reiterate, there will be no HP characters that would be replaced by Shirou, Archer, Saber and Rin. So, yes Ron would still be there, but as of now he hasn't been born yet. And seeing how you guys like the twins' interaction (and I like it too. So much fun to write this), here's another of the twins' chapter!

As usual, I only focus on the humour, so I don't care much about technicalities. But do tell me if I've done any mistakes.

Warning: Questionable potion ingredients and their equally-dubious uses, abuse of one's own twin, a downside of UBW that I've just found out and a potential Slytherin.

Disclaimer: I don't own FSN or HP, except for a weapon mentioned in this chapter.


Shirou and Archer, 5 months old

Finally, the day had come.

Months of constant humiliation had corroded so much of the reincarnated twins' dignity. They couldn't take it anymore, but in order to avoid suspicions and to please their mother, they had to endure. It proved so much of their perseverance, because any other person would have already succumbed to mental breakdowns (except for perverts).

But, it was no more. It was all now in the past. No more discomfort. No more sufferings. No more humiliations.

"Okay boys! Today, you're going to try out some solid food!"

No more breastfeeding!

It was unheard of that Shirou and Archer ever celebrated something together. They cheered, hands up and face bright with happiness and a great deal of relief. They grinned even more widely when Molly cooed at them in fondness.

Arthur seated them on modified baby stools. Shirou and Archer vibrated in anticipation when Molly came back from the kitchen with two bowls that must be their solid food.

It was a testament on how much they hated breastfeeding that they welcomed baby food with that much enthusiasm.

They thought things would finally turn better.

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(Oh, how wrong they were.)


As the bowls were lowered in front of them, the twins automatically casted Structural Analysis on the brown mush that was their food. It was a handmade baby food, a special recipe of Molly Weasley already perfected after having five babies beforehand. The food consisted of mashed apple, banana, rice cereal, sweet potatoes, bat's blood -

'…'

They paled.

- Flitterbloom, nettle, lionfish spine, croakoa, bouncing spider juice, flobberworm mucus -

Shirou and Archer quickly covered their eyes with their tiny palms (again), cutting off their magecraft.

God, what had their own mother put inside the mush?! Were these ingredients even baby-friendly - no, human-friendly?! What was a flitterbloom? Croakoa? Bat's blood?! Spider?! Some worm's fucking MUCUS?!

They shuddered. Surely this was not their food -

"Who wants first?" Molly chirped, oblivious to her sons' sickly complexion.

Archer regained his wits faster than his twin, so he snatched Shirou's left hand and lifted it up.

Their mother smiled at Shirou, and Shirou's uncovered eye interpreted the smile differently this time. It looked nothing like the smile he'd known. Actually, it looked too much like those crooked evil witches' smiles (or Rin's).

Molly Weasley is a witch. Witches and wizards make potions with questionable ingredients.

Shit their lives.

Shirou clamped his mouth tightly. He even squeezed his eyes shut to avoid seeing the thing. Archer watched his sibling in fear and horror, knowing that he'd be next. God help them.

Molly scooped some food on a baby spoon. "Aahh," she mouthed at Shirou, but her son was being unreasonable.

"Joseph," she coaxed him. "You have to try this out first. It's actually delicious."

'No, you try first,' Shirou thought as he frantically shook his head.

Their mother sighed. She was about to pry her son's mouth open when a cat-Patronus came into the room.

"Arthur, Molly," Minerva McGonagall's voice echoed throughout the room. "Order's next meeting would be at the Longbottom's manor. Albus received an intel of the next potential Death Eaters' attack and its location - "

Shirou and Archer unconsciously opened their mouths as they were awed by the ethereal cat speaking human language, and Molly seized the opportunity by shoving the baby food into Shirou's gaping mouth.

"Ack!" Shirou shuddered when the thing touched his tongue. It was disgustingly mushy -

"..."

'Hey…,' he thought, munching the food more properly as he tasted it. 'It's actually pretty good.'

"Delicious, isn't it?" Arthur asked him after he saw the Patronus disappeared, and Shirou nodded in agreement. Their father then turned towards Molly, his face smug, "I told you putting croakoa in it makes it tastier. Children like chocolate frog, after all."

Archer bulged his eyes out as he witnessed his brother asking for more, because Shirou needed to try it out one more time to analyse the unfamiliar yet delicious (and still dubious) ingredients.

Molly waved her index finger at Shirou playfully. "Give your brother a chance to try it out too, alright?" she said.

Archer paled, and when the baby food ominously appeared in front of him, he could feel bile rising up his throat. Though, stealing a glance at his seemingly-happy twin, he decided to suck it up and bravely opened his mouth.

Mushy food hit his tongue, and his eyes brightened in enlightenment. How could something disgusting taste this good when mixed with other ingredients?

'Magic,' the twins thought in awe. 'Magic is real.'

.

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Shirou and Archer, 7 months old

"Mama" was their first word, making Molly burst in tears.

"Dada" was their second, making Arthur burst in tears.

"Di'own 'im" was their next words, confusing their parents greatly.

(For some reason, they formed the exact same sentence at the same time - which translated to "Mother, Father, disown him" - while pointing at each other.)

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.

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Shirou and Archer, 10 months old

Archer put his hands on Shirou's cheeks and pulled hard.

"AwawawawawaWAWAW," Shirou cried in distress.

Archer ignored his twin's futile attempt at smacking the hands pinching his cheeks away, because he was busy scrutinizing Shirou's face.

'Damn,' Archer thought, all of sudden feeling narcissistic, 'I look cute.'

Cue the next baby-wrestling session.


After getting caught 'hugging' each other several times (they weren't hugging, dammit!), both Shirou and Archer finally decided to call it a truce before they can get a weapon of their own. They needed to up their duel and make it look like a legit fight in order to prevent further misunderstandings.

But there was a dilemma.

They could just trace weapons out of thin air, of course, since for some reason their magic circuits were not affected by the whole reincarnation thingy. But, physically, their bodies wouldn't be able to handle the strain of holding real weapons, and it was obviously not an option to rain down weapons at each other. They didn't want to risk their house collapsing and their family turning into pincushions. They were good kids like that.

Unfortunately, being a baby also robbed you the privilege of touching pointy things, let alone a bladed weapon. It helped no one that the Weasley was a pureblooded magical family; there was no need for even a paper knife to open letters since they have magic for everything.

Besides, even if they could find a bladed weapon, their parents would faint if they see their cute baby boys dueling with lethal weapons.

They have to get real but non-lethal weapons, then. (Was there even such thing?)

The twins were forced to endure this dilemma for many long months, until one day their father came to save the day.

"Look at what I've got for you two," Arthur gushed at the twins. He revealed two items from his back: a toy wand and a toy sword, "Ta-da! Muggle toys! I don't know how, but they made it such that the toys are soft and completely baby-friendly..."

The twins ignored the rest of his explanation, because there, on Arthur's left hand, was a sword.

A sword.

Automatically, the sword's information filled their mind. It was made of foam, cut and assembled in such a way that its blue handle had grooves for good grip, and its simple silver blade was double-edged. The sword was manufactured in China, exported to Britain and was stacked among many other foam swords in a toy shop in London for £5 each.

On 29 November 1971 at 10:13 a.m., Arthur Weasley bought one and gifted it to his eldest son, Bill Weasley, for his first birthday. Bill named it Excalibur, and thus was born the legendary ancestral sword of House Weasley.

Bill passed it down to Charlie the moment he was too old for it (and subsequently demanded for a broom), then from Charlie to Percy and from Percy to George for similar reasons. The sword was rich in history on being chewed up on, and its blade was constantly covered in tears, snot and drool. Yet it still retained its glorious form thanks to a quick scourgify and a reparo once a week. Foam-Excalibur was now ready to be passed on to the next generation -

- And it inevitably appeared in their Reality Marbles, proudly standing amidst legendary Noble Phantasms as the most useless sword Shirou Emiya had ever had.

Shirou and Archer would never want to lose any of their swords, even if they were just blueprints of the real one and were deemed as fakes.

But dear God, let them forget this foam sword, please! It even stood beside the real Excalibur as if it was its kin!

What would their enemies say if they see a toy sword on top of the hill of legendary swords?!

What shall become of their pride if their enemies - like, ugh, Gilgamesh - commented on them pelting their enemies with fake foam swords?! It was as if they'd reached a whole new level of faking weapons!

What could they even do with it, anyway?! Use the previous wielder's skill to coat the blade with their drool and proceed to swing it around, hoping their saliva would hit their enemies and 'poison' them?!

Alas, Foam-Excalibur was still a sword, and there was nothing they could do to get rid of it from their Reality Marbles.

Besides, it was a non-lethal weapon, and they did need it now.

"...So, who wants the wand and who wants the - Whoa?!" Arthur stumbled backwards when the twins unexpectedly stood on their wobbly feet and proceeded to reach up for the sword, ignoring the toy wand completely, "Hold your horses, boys!"

"Gimmeh da wahh!" Archer yelled at him. ("Gimme the sword!")

Shirou shoved his twin away, "Nah! Gib ih duu meh, Dada!" ("No! Give it to me, Father!")

Archer fell on his butt. He stared at his twin disbelievingly, before his lips widened into a cunning smirk as he got an idea.

Both Arthur and Shirou paused when they heard a pathetic sob from below. They turned to see the other twin trembling on the floor, his lips quivering and his doe eyes dangerously wet with tears. Archer hiccuped, prompting his father to scrambled towards him.

"No, no no no no! Daniel - or are you Joseph? Whatever - don't cry please!" Arthur begged at his poor son, lifting him up to give him a hug. He turned to frown disappointedly at Shirou, who gaped at his twin as if he'd grown two heads, "Apologise to your twin, Joseph - no, Daniel? Whoever you are!"

Shirou was busy staring at his twin in incredulity, so he didn't hear what his father had just said (his eyes started to become unfocused). Archer was about to begin his pitiful wail when Arthur finally blurted out his quick solution.

"Tell you what," he said to the twin on his arm, "You wanted the sword, right?" Arthur lifted the toy sword with his free hand in emphasis.

Archer nodded furiously.

"Then you can have the sword, dear, and your twin can have the wand. Sounds good?"

Archer visibly brightened. Shirou still hadn't responded.

Thus, Archer became the next proud wielder of the legendary ancestral sword of House Weasley, the Foam-Excalibur.


Shirou stared at his pink, princess foam wand blankly. (Arthur bought it in a Muggle toy shop just recently. Why would he buy that, and why pink, Shirou had no idea.)

Archer, on the other hand, was giddily waving his foam sword around and deliberately hitting his twin's face with it all the time.

Shirou had had enough. He took a blue-coloured crayon (their father bought that from a different shop, because he honestly thought Muggles used crayons to write instead of quills), then wrote something on a nearby wall, ignoring Archer all together.

His twin got curious, but before he could see over his twin's shoulder, Shirou showed it to him.

"sHAmE oN YoU"

A lightning struck in the background. It seemed Archer had finally realised what he'd done, because he fell on all four and hysterically garbled some baby words that suspiciously sounded like, "Why did I do that? What happened to me?!"

Shirou smacked Archer with his pink wand like a good brother he was.


"W-who wrote this on the wall?!" Molly hollered not long after. A few seconds of silence, then, "Arthur! It's your crey - cray - whatever muggle-quill-thing you'd bought!"

"I'm sorry!" Arthur replied like a good husband he was, even if it wasn't (directly) his fault.

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By the way, anyone watches the Return of Superman? Not the superhero one, but the Korean TV program about babies/toddlers spending their time with their dads. It's one of my source of inspirations for this chapter :)