Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: I'm on a Star Ocean fix, but I shall not fail in my duties to Virgil!!

Saphira946: --

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: Hey! Don't give me that look!! /

Saphira946:playing Devil May Cry4--

Disclaimer: We own nothing, not even the clothes on our backs.

Saphira946:still playing Devil May Cry4.

"I'm Saki and this is Momo."the girl with the brown hair said pointing to herself and then the other girl.

"I'm Dante and this is my big brother Virgil."Dante replied.

"What kind of camera is that?"Virgil asked.

"The Camera Mascara."Saki said holding it up.

"Uh . . . what kind of name is that?"Dante asked.

"Well, it was invented by a middle aged Japanese Emo guy like 50 or so years ago in a Wal-Mart in Philadelphia."Momo replied. She pulled something out of a random pocket. "It's all in this Journal I found in an Out house."she finished handing the damp and smelly journal to Virgil. He opened it and tried to read it, but it was in Asianese.

"I can't read this chicken scratch."Dante said from over his shoulder. He wasn't looking at the journal though. He was looking at some scratch marks on the ground.

"Those aren't chicken marks. Those are marks made by some woman that was looking for her boyfriends sister because, the bitch owned her some money to pay for her cats knee operation when it's leg got ran over by a runaway microwave cart. Some of those see-through villagers dragged her off, because she didn't have the Camera Mascara."Momo pulled something else out of another random pocket. "It's all here in this journal I found in the woman's left pants pocket on her right butt cheek, while Saki was trying to take her left shoe and put it in her right pocket on her left butt cheek."Virgil was a bit nervous about the two girls sanity.

"I don't get it."Dante said scratching his head. How could anyone get what these insane Japanese girls were saying? Virgil thought a moment, then asked. "Have you seen the paper shredder ghost?"Saki thought a moment.

"OH! No, I haven't."Saki turned to Momo. "Have you?"

"No, but I saw Kevin Bacon trying to shoot this bald guy. Saying something about Garret Hedlund killed his oldest son and wife."

(A/N: I don't own Death Sentence. If I did. Garret's head would not have been shaved. He looks way hotter with hair and covered in sweat and dirt-)

"Oh, I want some sausage."Dante squealed.

"These random moments of randomness aren't really getting us anywhere."Virgil said matter-o-factly.

"Yeah, that's because, Pink is stalling for time to think of something to type while she listens to High and mighty Color's song Ichirin no Hana."Saki replied smiling all goofy like and stuff. Virgil nodded.

"Ah, that's a really good band."he agreed with the authors choice of music, but then again she kinda controls what goes on. She could make Dante gay and they couldn't do a thing about it.

(Dante: WHAT!!)

Anyway, back to the original story. . .

"So, where do we go now?"Dante asked after hours of random walking. Funny thing is, according to Virgil's watch, which by the way was really good at keeping the correct time. It was after midnight, but the sky hadn't changed a bit at all.

"That's what happens in horror video games. It don't change to day until you beat the game, but then sometimes that don't even happen."Virgil said all logical and stuff. Momo, Saki, and Dante just stared at him.

"We need to find this huge door that leads to the Head Master's house."Saki said.

"What do they look like?"Dante asked.

"They're all big and wooden like. You know, like a door."Momo replied.

"OMG! They sound just like doors!"Dante screeched. Both Dante and Momo started jumping up and down.

So, the race to find the wooden and big doors that reminded Dante of doors began.

"I can't find them!"Dante whined as he sat infront of a pair of giant wooden doors.

"I know they're around here somewhere, but I just can't put my finger on it."he sighed and looked at the others.

"You got any ideas?"he asked. Vergil just stared straight ahead.

"There is something I have to tell you, but I can't figure out what it is I have to say."Saki said trying her best to think straight.

"Does it have to do with the large doors that look all wooden and locked behind him?"Momo asked. Saki shook her head.

"No . . . It has to do with the wooden doors behind Dante."Saki replied. She thought a moment more.

"Light Bulb!"she squealed. "The doors we are looking for are right behind you."Dante looked over his shoulder and smiled.

"Found 'em!"he yelled.

"I thought I found 'em."Saki thought scratching her head.

"So . . . you gonna open them?"Momo asked. Dante walked up to them and pulled and then pushed, but nothing happened.

"Nothing happened."Momo stated the obvious.

"Perhaps we have to unlock it."Vergil sighed and began looking for keys. Saki smiled and followed.

"Light Bulb!"she yelled.

"What now?"Virgil asked looking under some random femur bone he found in a bowl of dried up sake.

"Maybe we should follow those pretty crimson butterflies. They seem to know something about these doors."Saki said.

"Why do you say that?"Dante asked.

"Cause, they keep pointing that direction and yelling for us stupid living people to follow them."so Saki and Momo began running after the butterflies. Problem was, Dante and Virgil didn't see any butterflies.

"I want some of what they're snorting."Virgil said jogging after to two frighteningly chipper girls.

'Wow, most girls in this situation wouldn't be so happy.'Virgil thought.

"Hey! We found a funny looking key and it has some writing on it!"Momo yelled.

"What does the writing say?"Dante asked.

"I dunno. I can't read Japanese."Momo replied like they didn't know that. Oh wait . . . they didn't :)

"You're Japanese, but you can't read Japanese?"Dante was even smart about that one.

"It's not called Japanese. It's called Kanji and yes, though we are Japanese. We can in fact not read Japanese."Saki said defensively.

"But, you told us it was called Kanji."Dante whined, getting scared for some reason.

"Well, you have to call it Kanji. We can call it Japanese."Momo said with an evil smile.

"But, I though since we weren't Japanese. We had to Americanize it and call it Japanese. While, you had to Asianize it and call it Kanji."Virgil inquired.

"Well, we are 1/16th of a thousand part from Zimbabwe."Momo said taking out a little leather book. She opened it and flipped through it until she must have found the page she needed.

"See."she held the book up to Virgil's and Dante's face. Sure enough, Saki and Momo were at the top with . . . Jackie Chan!? And, way, way, way, way underneath them was the Prime Minister of Ancient China, Zhuge Liang, who apparently was reincarnated and is now the Prime Minister of Zimbabwe.

"Wow, I didn't know Zimbabwe had a Prime Minister. I though man eating skunk people ruled with Honda Civics."Dante said looking at a totally different page.

"Huh?"Mom asked looking at the page he was looking at.

"Oh. That's ... uh... Do you know what it is, Saki?"she asked. Saki looked at it.

"Yeah, it's Axel Rose's plan for World Domination. See, it says so right here."Saki said so. At the top of the REALLY bad drawing of skunk people riding in Honda Civics, was Axel Rose's Plan for World Domination. Momo nodded.

"Oh, ok. I told them not to let him out of the backwoods abortion clinic closet, but they don't listen to a girl who's name means peach."Momo sighed.

"That's such a shame!! I like your name, Molotov!!"Dante cried. Mom cried along with him.

"My name's Momo!!"Vergil sighed.

"So, are we going to follow Remington and Winchester to the next key?"Saki asked.

"Remington and Winchester? Aren't those names of guns?"Vergil asked.

"Yes. They told me that they were the creators of the Remington and Winchester and that in 1984, during a Motley Crue concert. They wondered off and ended up here. They aren't related so I don't know why they did the Crimson Sacrifice on 'em."Saki said as she gave the crying Dante a piggy back ride to the next key.

There they stood... outside of the janitors closet of All God's Village Elementary School.

(A/N: They had a school? Wow, I've played the game about 4 or 5 times and I never saw one. Wow, my imagination is a wondrous gift... Hiho Silver away and back to the story!!)

Anyway... They had to go into the Janitors closet in order to get the key.

"I'm not going in there!!"Dante squealed.

Flashback...(Saphira946: So, you return, Flashback!!)

A little 10 year old Dante was walking along the hall next to the freeway in that one Elementary School his mother sent him to because, he wouldn't stop trying to flush the neighbors Komodo Dragon down the toilet. It was a nice school with barred windows, security guards, and evil looking Chihuahuas wearing army fatigues. Anyway, he was walking down the hall and had just gotten to the Janitors closet, when he heard something. It sounded like click clacks of some sort. Dante hesitantly turned the knob and opened the door. What he saw horrified him beyond belief.

There he was, Sparda the Dark Knight, playing Go with one of the Chihuahuas.

"Dad!! How could you cheat on mom!! You know damn well that she's your Game Night partner. And I thought you didn't believe in old Japanese board games that only involved to players and a series of clacks. Aren't you lack clack intolerant?"Dante asked.

"Son... there comes a time in every man's life where he has to drop out of clown college and play one game of Go before becoming a KGB member."Sparda said turning back to his game. The Chihuahua, who we shall name Mojito, looked at Dante with his little beady eyes and clucked.

"Huh?"Dante asked as the door magically slammed in his face, rendering him incoherent for the time being because the door splintered on his head and he got a couple splinters in his liver.

End Flashback...

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: Yay, Iz gotz anotherz chapterz donez. Saphira!! Were iz Meine Gummi Vormz!!

Saphira946: Ummm, in Germany were I think you need to be because you seem to be developing a fetish for Z's amd V'z.

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: JA!!