A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I think i forgot to mention last chapter that i'll be posting this on Wednesday's, Friday's and Sunday's for the moment, that might change if i get lots of reviews....

CHAPTER THREE

"Who did this?" McKay demanded angrily, waving power bar in the face of one of his science team.

"I- I don't know," stammered the unfortunate scientist.

"Oh for the love of-" McKay waved the power bar menacingly, showed her the side of the wrapper saying it contained 2% lemon juice. "There is no way anyone could have swapped every power bar on the base for lemon flavoured ones without someone noticing! So tell me; who did this?!"

"Really," insisted the scientist, taking a step back. "I've no idea!"

McKay studied her carefully and with more then a little suspicion. "Fine. I you can't tell me that then tell me where Sheppard, Ronon, Teyla or Weir are, and I might forgive you."

"Colonel Sheppard's in his office," squeaked the scientist.

"What? Sheppard never uses his office!" snapped McKay, then realisation dawned. "Oh the little sneak!"

McKay shoved past the scientist and stalked off heading for Sheppard's office.

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Sheppard sat in his office, boots up on the table, attempting to keep his attention on War and Peace. He guessed he should probably do some of the paperwork that he kept conveniently forgetting about, but that idea was even less entertaining then War and Peace.

Sheppard was just wondering if he should go and get a DVD and a computer to play it on when McKay burst in, not bothering to knock.

"What do you think you're doing?!" asked McKay.

"Reading?" offered Sheppard somewhat hopeful that McKay would believe him.

"No, you're not!" argued McKay dashing Sheppard's hopes. "You're hiding! You just swapped all the power bars to lemon flavoured ones and then hid in here!"

"Oh, I did? Wow, well that's news to me… hang on, lemon flavoured power bars?" questioned Sheppard in disbelief.

"That's right! And don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!"

"You just told me what you're talking about," pointed out Sheppard.

"Yes! I… did…" McKay faltered, then recovered. "But you already knew! This is phase two after hanging the lemon in my lab!"

Sheppard sighed. "Why would I hang a lemon in your lab so you can wake up the entire expedition, including me, in the middle of the night?"

"I… I don't know! But if you did do this then I will catch you and then I'll report you to Elizabeth as an attempted murderer! Wait, no, I'll report you to the SGC!"

"McKay, I didn't hang the lemon in your lab or get the lemon power bars, okay?"

McKay's eyes narrowed. "We'll see about that."

He turned and left Sheppard's office. Sheppard decided he'd gotten off lightly, McKay hadn't even mentioned the conference room incident… or the lemon meringue pie.

Sheppard got up from his chair, shot a disdainful look at War and Peace, and went to play golf.

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McKay entered the mess hall to grab a snack, usually he'd have got a power bar or three, but unfortunately all the power bars were poisoned. He took a quick look at the fruit basket on his way past and jumped backwards into a marine, who muttered something unpleasant sounding and walked off.

McKay ignored him, the fruit basket (which was usually full of fairly innocent fruits and the occasional orange) was now stuffed full of lemons. McKay glared at it and gave it a wide birth as he walked over to the desserts… and got another nasty surprise.

There, right next to the blue Jell-O, was a nice big lemon meringue pie. It had a fancy sign next to it claiming: Made with fresh lemons!

McKay clenched and unclenched his hands and teeth, his face started to go red. Zelenka came up to him.

"Ah, are you okay?"

"Sheppard!" hissed McKay, completely ignoring Zelenka. Then he snatched the cup of blue Jell-O furthest from the lemon meringue pie and left the mess hall, heading right back to Sheppard's office.

McKay wasn't at all put off that Sheppard wasn't in his office, instead he went to the control room and brought up the life signs detector. There was no-one in Sheppard's quarters, but there was someone at the gym and at the shooting range and golf course.

Those three places would be an excellent place to start looking.

McKay found Sheppard at the golf course, and scanned the area near the door with his eyes.

McKay grinned evilly when he saw Sheppard's headpiece-radio abandoned near the door with Sheppard's spare golf clubs. Perfect for his revenge plan.

Quietly McKay got to work on the radio then replaced it and slipped out unnoticed by the colonel.

Then he took out his life signs detector and stood out of site, this would definitely be worth following Sheppard around for the rest of the day. He had to make sure that Sheppard didn't swap radios, or discover that there was something wrong with his.

That night McKay watched as Sheppard entered his quarters, with the same radio he'd had at the golf course.

McKay waited a while after Sheppard closed the door behind him before leaving his hiding place and going up to the control panel of Sheppard's door.

As quietly as possible McKay prised off the top panel and then, one by one, removed the three control crystals. Then he reattached the top panel and made off with the control crystals to the door of Sheppard's quarters. Without them no-one would be getting in or –more importantly- out.

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A/N: Now press that nice green button to review! Again, any critizium is welcome, or anything you'd like to be added to the story. :)