April 3

"Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality." - John W Gardner.

Grief could never completely disappear.

It clung to a person's senses, engulfing their mind and altering their perception. Mood swings, confusion, frustration and the aching in their chest somewhere close to the heart that become a part of them.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs couldn't watch a mother cry over her son or a wife over her husband without the same familiar sadness taking over him too. It was something he knew first hand that no parent should ever outlive their children. It went against the laws of nature.

And quite simply, it wasn't fair.

He couldn't protect his family and right now he wasn't capable of helping this one either. Timothy McGee sat next to him, nervously clearing his throat. There wasn't anyone who liked this part of the job.

Gibbs let his mind wander, even though he probably should have been concentrating on the woman in front of him.

He wanted to catch the killer. He wanted to go home and work on his boat. He wanted Shannon and Kelly back in his life.

Two out of three weren't bad.