So yeah... I don't own twilight just so you know... or New moon...Or eclipse... WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO?!

Whatever, I'm a bit hyper. Sorry if this is illegible, confusing or riddled with grammatical errors. I'm just trying to get this out there. Right i'm gonna try something new. Five reviews per chapter guys. No review, that makes the updating process longer. its evil, its mean and I'm a horrible person but so many of you are actually reading this and hardly anyone reviews( in comparison to the hits) so it's really up to you how fast this gets updated. And on that sombre note I leave you peeps. Again in the next chapter I shall give a special shout out to all current reviewers. You're the best guys!! Enyoy!

Mari

You know how in movies or books when something really dramatic happens and everyone watching just suddenly goes all quiet? What I wouldn't give for that to have happened. No, in mere seconds I'm sure that everyone in that caf, if not everyone who had connections around Forks had spread the word to those unfortunate enough to have missed the spectacle.

So I was now on my own again hiding out in the library. Before you ask, I am not really a coward but I do need some time to wallow uninterruptedly in embarrassment for a while. Alice had disappeared somehow down in the lunch room. I didn't hear her leave. Meh... Well it's not as if we have to be best friends after one lunch and a very weird conversation, it just would've been nice not to be on my own when I took the proverbial walk of shame down the lunch hall. Though I wouldn't call it a walk, I practically ran away. To my surprise I was not only embarrassed but more than a little hurt as well. I guess severing all ties with your friends can do that to you.

Lauren and Jessica had it worse than I did I guess. It was pretty funny actually. She did this weird twisty thing with her face then turned so red she nearly melted off her foundation. Following that she- get this- stamped her foot. I'm serious.It sorta made up for the rest of it. Lauren making a complete idiot of herself. But how could I let myself feel in any way good about myself when I had just thrown Angela to the dogs. She was left to deal with them now completely on her own.Why didn't I think of this earlier? Whatever I said about the rest of them, I was being a horrible friend too.

"Ben what's this?"

" Come on Angela. You can't say no after I've gone through so much rouble to get these concert tickets."

" How did you know? I never told anyone-"

" I would be a pretty lame boyfriend if I didn't know your favorite music now wouldn't I?"

A giggle of hushed excitement reached my ears bringing a smile to my own lips. Well maybe she wasn't quite alone. I guess she didn't really need me to worry about her after all.

"... Ben I'm so worried about Bella. I thought I saw her go up here but that with Lauren was just so sudden."

" I know Lauren's your friend, but maybe Bella had her reasons for doing what she did."

I felt bad for eavesdropping, but I just couldn't extricate myself from the situation, especially as I heard her emmit a very un- Angela-like snort. Interesting.

" Are you kidding me? Of course she had her reasons! Those girls out there happen to be the fakest Beverly Hills wannabes that I've ever seen. I'm just glad she got out when she did."

There was a confused silence on both ends. What!

"Well yeah. You think I didn't see what they were doing to her? Lauren got so jealous it was hilarious!"

"... but you hang out with them too.."

" Hung out with them Ben. Past tense. And only because Bella did. God knows she needed a friend with all those sharks around. I don't know what I would've done if she hadn't had that thing at lunch. Seriously. About time."

My mouth was probably open as I took in these few points of information. So she only hung out with them because I did. And I only hung out with them because shedid. Severe miscommunication issues, but whatever. At least now I knew I had at least one friend around here. And she was the most cunning little witch I'd ever met. I was most definitely going to have my hands full. They suddenly got really quiet except for the occasional loud smacking sound that pierced the air. Like someone was sucking a lollipop or... Oh Vey!

Later

I don't know what possessed me to go into Port Angeles later that day. Of course I was in direneed of new reading material as I'd read the tattered copy of Wuthering Heights in my room at least a million times, but I don't think that was what prompted me to leave so abruptly. Mike kept calling me, that could've been part of it. I'm not sure. I was more acting on a feeling than anything else. As in I was feeling quite sure that there would be less of a chance of bumping into Lauren and Jessica if I was all the way in Port Angeles. A plan that was going quite well for me until I realised that in my rush to get home from school I had cleverly obtained a flat tyre.

So now I was on a cramped bus with an odd smelling old man drooling and asleep on the chair beside me. Every few minutes he would shift in his sleep and let out a rancid smelling fart that reeked of old beans and what could've been garlic in a past life. Add to that the gagging odor of BO emanating from the tattooed guy in the seat before me and you've pretty much got the picture. Don't you just wish you had my kind of luck?

We went slowly, the bus driver was presumably taking the time to let us enjoy the scenery. I was rather more anxious to get off the bus as soon as possible before they found my still body in the back of the bus having died from an extremely unhealthy amount of bodily emissions. It could happen. I had maybe twenty minuets to go 'till we got there if we kept at this pace. Tiredly I let my bag fall to the floor and leaned up against the window closing my eyes. I failed to notice the strange looks the man in the seat in front of me kept sending through the corner of his eyes. Instead I let my mind wander back to lunch time and mentally groaned as I realised that I would forever dub it as that lunch...


" Excuse me, what did you just say!"

I was wise enough to know it wasn't really a question but answered anyway by a sudden burst of courage that flooded through my system leaving me breathless.

'Huh?'

" I'm sure you heard me Lauren but if you're stupid enough to have missed it then I see no need to repeat it to someone with the intellectual abilities of a three year old."

"WHAT!"

I shook my head at her mockingly, not resisting the urge to roll my eyes and allowing a small smirk for good measure.

" You know Lauren maybe you should spend less time getting work done on your nose and more time thinking about your comebacks. Truthfully, they need a lot of work."

" You... YOU..."

The smirk fell as I looked her dead in the eye trying to see past the fake blue contacts and to the soul that she supposedly hid beneath the surface. I couldn't seem to find anything. No depth, no indication that anything I'd said had any effect on her whatsoever except to maybe enrage her a little or hurt her pride. The playfulness left as I stared deep trying to find...something.

" Yes Lauren. Me. The person you've been exploiting for the best part of three weeks. The girl you've been trying to manufacture into a bar-code clone like you."

I spat the words out venomously surprising even myself with this passion. It was all completely true. I just never wanted to speak my mind to this extent. I felt a wave of annoyance at these unexplained emotions. Annoyance at myself? I wasn't sure. So I did the only thing I could do right then. The only thing that seemed to make sense.

I let it go.

" I'm tired of being nice. I'm tired of being used and I'm not going to take this anymore. From you or Jessica. I don't want talk to you I don't want to look at you, I don't even wanna go near you. If you see me coming down the hall, do me a favor and just turn the other way because from this point on I don't want anything to do with you anymore."

Alice whispered under her breath, so low I almost didn't catch it. Except for one name.

" Oh Jasper why..."

Jasper? I was left with no time to wonder because she was gone and I was left standing alone. Now the weird empowered feeling left me and weakness returned coupled with exhaustion. Fighting back tears I left the hall with my eyes firmly fixed on the door and my shoulders set. Whether I'd meant to say it or not it was all truth, they were things that I couldn't unsay that easily. And if I had the chance I don't think I would have said anything any differently.

It was painful. Even though I'd only stayed with them for a couple of weeks since my arrival it changed nothing about the fact that they were my first friends. Shedding that part of my life I walked out. Maybe this was meant to happen but if I wanted to step forward I would have to sacrifice a few things too. Maybe this time I would find some real friends...


My eyes snapped open as we pulled into the station jerkily and I let the memory sift into a corner in the back of my mind. Getting off I inhaled the fresh air as if I hadn't let myself breathe for as long as I could still remember. I walked through the town with the sun beating down for once but not with the same intensity as I'd left in Phoenix.

As my eyes fell on a bookstore I wandered in without giving myself a chance to change my mind. Even when I saw the freaky new age woman behind the counter. It was only when I reached into my bag to pay for an interesting book on the Bronte sisters that I realised I didn't have my purse. My purse which was in my bag. My bag which was still on the bus...

I got this out as fast as possible Guys. Sorry it took so long. Please , if you're gonna review then leave more than one line as I seriously do need constructive criticism. If it's harsh It's harsh but it's the only way I'mm ever gonna improve if you actually tell me what I need to work on. Till next time!