Disclaimer: None of the `Good Wife` character`s belongs to me... If only...

Musical inspiration: For the entire series: Iris by the GOO GOO DOLLS

Chapter summary: Kalinda uses her connection to Burton to get what she wants, which has a surprising effect on Alicia.

A/N Hello everyone! First of all I`d like to thank those reading this story for bearing with me, and second of all I`d really really really like to thank Katya for her review! It`s so lovely to read your thoughts, and I`m so glad you liked the combination of characters. Hope you`ll like this chapter too! So, everybody buckled up for the ride? Here we go, for chapter 2!

xxx

JLBT

Heartbroken, Chapter 2

Antony was close, dangerously close, and Kalinda felt her stomach turn again as she smelled his scent. Where was it? The button that she simply pushed to turn off her feelings and emotions? The distance she needed to do her job? She knew Burton would sense her insecurity and would act on it, if she didn`t act fast herself. Attack always had been her best defense, and as she softly kissed him on the lips, she felt HIS defenses break.

`Ok, I`ll let the parents of the girl in with you, but you have no more than half an hour before we interrogate the suspect AND the witness, understood?`

`Understood`

As Kalinda turned, she caught the eye of the last person she wanted to see at this moment. Alicia, appalled by the interaction she had just witnessed, narrowed her eyes and felt her heart drop.

So she had been wrong, Kalinda wasn`t into women, well, at least not solely into woman.

Why did that affect her state of mind so much? Or rather said, her state of heart? Because it was that organ that had dropped, and now raced rapidly as she looked into those dark brown eyes she had grown to trust upon. Had Kalinda simply just used her body to get them what they wanted? Did she really want to know? Turning abruptly away from her friend she followed the detective, who she now found even more shabby than before, to the room where Alexandra Stern was waiting.

She heard Kalinda`s footsteps hesitate before they followed but tried to convince herself she didn`t care.

`You have to tell me what happened`

`I really don`t remember!`

The voice of the girl pitched in panic, as she let her face rest in her hands. Alicia could feel frustration build up inside her body, but she knew, if she was honest with herself, that it had nothing to do with her clients inability to recollect the events of the evening, or the lack of time that remained. More so it had to do with the image of Kalinda`s soft lips against those detective`s…

She felt Kalinda`s soft hand on her upper arm, and jerked it away in surprise. The surprise however, was complete when she caught the other woman`s eye and saw, so clearly, the hurt in them. It was like she was looking into Kalinda`s soul, witnessing the turmoil there.

`Can I try?`

Alicia`s dismissive hand gesture hurt more than Kalinda wanted to admit. But a sudden memory had entered her head, and she knew she had to act on it.

`Have you taken anything, Alex? Drugs, alcohol? It`s ok if you did, but we have to know.`

Alex took her head out of her hands and looked pensively into Kalinda`s eyes. Kalinda studied them again. Yes, it was true, what she remembered. Alex`s pupils were dilated. Was it just fight-and-flight reaction or was there more?

`I don`t remember, honestly. I don`t think so. I remember getting ready to go out, I was going to meet a friend to go to the movie, but then she called and canceled. Then I remember going downstairs and running into Martin, and he told me he would take me in her stead. I really wanted to see the movie, so I said ok, and then I don`t remember anything…Until… Well, YOU actually `

Kalinda`s mouth felt dry, the taste and smell of Burton suddenly unbearably strong and almost causing her to gag. She gratefully took the plastic cup of water that Alicia offered her, but noticed that the other woman still didn`t want to look at her. She knew Alicia sensed where she was going with this as the attorney asked the next question herself.

`And, in this time that you do remember, you didn't take any alcohol or drugs?`

The girl thought shortly, and Kalinda could see that Alicia was impressed by the way the girl was handling herself. Damn, she herself was impressed. She sure as hell was a lot better than the mother, who just sat there in a corner, wiping her hands on her skirts.

`No`

The memory-loss bothered Kalinda, it would be hard to build a case if their client couldn`t produce a story. But maybe the memory loss was the story… She knew several reasons why one would not be able to recall certain events. She herself, although having been able to speak fluent Hindi as a young child, now found herself at a complete loss if someone spoke to her in the Indian language.

`And did that ever happen to you before, that you can`t recall exactly what happened?`

`Black-outs, you mean?`

The contrast between the girl that had been sitting on her living room floor and this pensive adolescent was really impressive. She still looked very young and scared, but she didn`t panic, even though she had every reason too. The contrast with her mother also was quite grand.

`Yes, Black-outs`

Well, actually yeah, since my birthday they have been occurring at times, that I wake up in the morning and I don`t remember how I got into bed…`

`And in those times, had you taken anything?`

`No! I mean the worse thing I did was once take a swig of whiskey from my dad`s liquor cabinet, and it tasted terrible so I never did that again. Well, Martin let me try a sip of his screwdriver a couple of times, and it was ok, but it wasn't more than a sip. I don`t drink, seriously, and I don`t do drugs.`

Kalinda saw the plea in the girl`s eyes, and couldn`t help but reassure her:

`Sorry, honey, We have to ask you those things, the police will ask them too.`

The moment she had let slip the endearment, Kalinda could simply hit herself. The perplexed look on Alicia`s face would have been funny if the situation hadn`t been so serious. Trying to avoid her friend`s stare, Kalinda focused once again on the girl.

`Now how is your relationship to your stepfather?`

`Well, he actually isn`t around so much, always playing, you know, but when he is there he is always trying to do fun stuff with me, so I guess he is kind of cool.`

Alicia`s cool, kind of hoarse voice broke in, and Kalinda was yet again ashtonished by the fact that one sound could evoke such contradictive emotions in her. It calmed her and it aroused her at the same time…

`You guess?`

`Well there is something…`

`Yes?`

Kalinda knew this was the moment in which Alicia won over the client. She had always admired that in the other women. She knew when to let go and she knew when to keep quiet but she also knew how a simple question could push the client –or the opposition for that matter- into saying just that little bit more.

`Something that I don't really get, you know, just a feeling I get when he gets near me.`

`That`s enough!`

Kalinda saw how Alex`s shoulders jerked forward at the sound of her mother`s voice, again an instinctive reaction she rather wouldn`t have recognized.

`You always had something against him, and now this? I get home to find this? I don`t know who you are anymore. I don`t know what I am doing here.`

And with those words Elizabeth Stern left the hearing chamber where her daughter was held. Jonas obviously doubting who to support at this moment. Kalinda had never seen him as the fatherly type and his hesitation proved her right, but he took her, and so she saw, his daughter, by surprise by sitting down next to the girl and taking her hand.

`Honey, I don`t know what happened, you don`t know what happened. But I know this. No matter what it is, I`ll stand by you, and these women stand by you. They are the best in the field. Of course I still hope to convince them to come and work for me, but that`s not the reason I let your mom call them. I want you to have the best, because I love you.`

As their client leaned against her father`s arm, Kalinda caught Alicia`s eye. It was as if a thunderbolt struck her. The confused pain she saw, and the guilt she felt herself for previous actions, mixed into a turmoil of emotions that threatened to take over.

But she couldn`t… wouldn`t let them yet.

Quickly, she glanced at her watch, indicating to Alicia that their time was running out. Now that their client had the parental support that was needed to post bail, although from an unexpected source, they could stripe at least that item of their list. Kalinda felt herself slip into nothingness as she heard Alicia`s calming voice explain to the girl the proceedings, how they would question her, and probably keep her for the night, awaiting the bail hearing in the morning. She hardly objected when Antony came in and ordered her and Jonas out of the room, leaving only Alicia to take care of their client. As if a ghost she found her way to a restroom, where she violently vomited before starting to have some sensation in her body again. She looked upto the mirror, but avoided to look into her eyes.

Knowing she would not see confidence, but fear.

Knowing she would not see present, but past.

Knowing she would not see Kalinda, but Leela.

TBC