Shrek Shonen Jump

Chapter 3

By Wakback

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto, One Piece, Bleach, or Shrek.


Meanwhile, a thin man with light purple hair and a leather mask that covered parts of his face walked down the torch lit corridor. He also donned leather gloves, a high collar black vest and another white dress shirt and a black dress pants. He pushed the Doors open at the end of the corridor and looked around. His narrow eye settled on the reason he came down here in the first place.

A man with his hair shaped like bull horns was working a leaver that was dunking someone in a deep tub of cold water. "That's enough Blueno. He's ready to talk." Spandam stated as he motioned his hand to stop.

"Yes sir." Blueno replied as he put his hand in the water and pulled out what looked like to be a stuffed lion bound in ropes. Said stuffed animal then began to cough and spit the water out of his mouth while trying to breath. Blueno then tossed him onto a table and Spandam walked up to him with a twisted grin on his face.

"Well, well, well. Mr. Jumping Spirit Demon, or was it Kon that you now go by? Your ability to jump form object to object sure has made it hard as hell to catch you. But now thanks to the capture seal placed on the back of your head, I finally got you. Wahahaha!"

"…Dude, do you ever shut up?" Was Kon's only reply coughing up some more water. To this reply, Spandam turned back to Kon with a glare.

"Be carful what you say you foul demon! It's your kind that's ruining my perfect kingdom. Now tell me where your master is or I'll…!" Before Spandam could finish, the doors on the other entrants flew open to reveal one of the guards.

"Sir! We found him." With that statement, Spandam grinned an even more twisted grin and looked back at a now somewhat frightened Kon.

"I'll deal with you later." He stated to Kon before he turned to the Guard. "Well? Bring him in!"

The guard saluted then ushered the other to guards to bring the prisoner in. Bound in chains was a man who looked to be in his late 30's; he had bleached blond hair and green and white bucket hat on his head that covered his eyes. His hands gripped a cane and his feet had a pair of wooden geta sandals. "Yo, Spanda!" Kisuke Urahara called out. "I see you've been taking good care of my friend over there."

"That's Lord Spandam, Damnit!" he yell's back in anger. However before he could reply, Kon yelled from across the room.

"DON'T TELL HIM ANYTHING!"

"Shut him up!" Spandam yelled to Blueno who just covered Kon's face with his hand. "…Right. Now where were we? Ah yes. Wizard."

"Mr. Urahara will do. Spanda." Kisuke replied with a grin as he watched Spandam grind his teeth in anger.

"I said it's SPANDAM!" He yelled in fury at Kisuke who barely batted an eyelash at his outburst. "…Anyways. I've brought you here so you could tell me what princess I should take to be my queen to make my kingdom perfect." At this, Kisuke just rolled his eyes. The only that was that made this place even close to perfect was the castles size matched Spandam's big ego.

"…Well if you get your gaurds to drop the chains, I'll show you." Kisuke stated with a smirk. A second passed before Spandam snapped his fingers for the guards undid the chains binding Kisuke.

As the chains hit the floor, Kisuke cracked his knuckles and neck before walking around. "Ah, much better. The way I see it, you've got three options." He states at he held up three fingers. "First is this…" He then points his cane at a near by wall as a beam of light shoots out from the end and hits the wall, then an image then took shape on the wall. "Miss Orihime Inoue." A picture of a young girl with long orange-red hair and big boobs appeared, "She's being held captive in her home by a serpent demon that has possessed her older brother." Kisuke turned to Spandam to see a somewhat board expression.

"…Ok. Next we have this…" The image changed to another girl with light Blue hair in a pony tail. "Miss Vivi Nefertari. Her kingdom is being manipulated by an evil sand demon and is now heading into a civil war between her government and the rebel army. She needs someone from the outside to stop the sand demon and bring an end to the war within her kingdom."

"Next." Was Spandam only reply in again a board drone fashion. This of course put Kisuke in an irritated state. How could anyone be so heartless towards another's wellbeing he'll never know. Gritting his teeth and swallowing his pride, he continued on.

"…Right. Last we have her…" The image shifted again to another girl with dark blue hair and pale lavender eyes with no pupils. "Miss Hinata Hyuga. She's being held in an old castle in the highest room of the tallest tower and is being guarded by a fire breathing dragon." With that, Kisuke swipes his cane and images fade away, he then turns to Spandam. "Those are your only options. Who do you pick?"

Spandam was quite of a while, mulling over his limits options. 'Hmmm… Vivi's homeland is at war and that wouldn't look good on my kingdom, so that's out. Plus I wasn't really digging the light blue hair. Both Orihime and Hinata have similar problems, but while serpent demon would be easier, slaying the dragon would be a nice feather in my kingdoms cap.' At that thought, he nods to himself then turns back to Kisuke. "I choose Miss Hyuga. She'll make a fine queen to my kingdom."

"Ok, let me just tell you that she's…" Kisuke started to say, but was cut off by the two guards standing beside him who crossed there swords in front of him before he could finish. "…What are you doing?"

Spandam turned back to him with a vile smile. "Your service is no longer required. You along with your friend over there…" He pointed to Kon and Blueno, whose hand was covered in blood but was still covering Kon's Mouth. Kisuke could only guess it was from see the images of the ladies. "…will be sent off to where the other demons are being banished to." He then turned to Kisuke with what Spandam considered his innocent face. "What? You thought I was going to let the both of you go? Why would I do that? While you may be human, you use magic and to me that makes you no less of a demon in my book."

"…I half expected you to do something like this, but it doesn't matter, we're outta here." He then twists his cane around in his hand and slams it down on the ground. As soon as it hits the ground, both Kisuke and Kon disappear in a puff of smoke. Shocked by Kisuke's escape, Spandam rushed to were the wizard was standing while Blueno looked around to see if Kon just fell out of his hands. With no such luck at finding them, Spandam growled out in frustration. "Damnit!"

"Should we look for them sir?" Blueno asked Spandam. To his reply, Spandam pinched the brim of his nose.

"No. Right now, we have more pressing matters to deal with."

"Like what sir?"

"Were going to have a tournament."