Heli-Carrier. SHIELD Headquarters. Extra-judicial blah-blah-blah. Essentially, what it means is if they do something to piss off the brass, up goes their little Heli-Carrier out into international water, or high enough in the air that they're out of American airspace. It is, of course, the last possible place you should bring a supervillain (but that's exactly what makes it fun).

Tony doesn't usually get as drunk as this. Drunk's not a good look on a guy. You get all sloppy and careless, and you do stupid things (like bringing war criminals into SHIELD Headquarters). But Pepper never showed tonight, and he had these reservations, so he finally ended up taking Loki instead. – And by the way, can we take a moment and notice how he's rocking that Armani suit, that he conjured out of nothing when Tony said they were going out? Man's got style, whatever else you can say about him. – …So yeah, so Loki's idea of a quiet evening out involves a little more drinking than Pepper's (and a little less quiet), which is how it happens, that it's 3:00 AM, and they're visiting the Heli-Carrier.

If you think about it, it's SHIELD's fault. What kind of super-secret government organization leaves their HQ unguarded at 3:00 AM? The kind that wants to get broken into, am I right? I mean, can I get an amen, brothers and sisters?

…There's actually one night watchman. Loki does something to him. Tony's not sure what, but he's promised it didn't hurt him any, and Tony …almost thinks he can trust him. …Actually, he hears the guy snoring as they go by him, so that's okay, that's cool.

Then they're on-board. Loki's like, "All this equipment, all these mortal gadgets." And he has to touch all of them as they go by, and he's looking at everything, like, "I see you got the Mjolnir-dents out of the door," and, "Oh, you've replaced the Holding Cell where I trapped my brother."

Tony's like, "You're not taking notes, are you? And you're going to go tell Doom everything you've seen as soon as you say good-bye?"

He's leaning against Fury's desk, at the moment, with his shirt-collar open, and Loki's hands halfway down his back. "Would you care?" Loki says, with his lips against his throat.

"Well yeah," Tony has to admit. "After all, it is my safety at stake." But he doesn't push Loki away, and he doesn't stop fiddling with his belt, trying to get his pants open.

"Doom fools himself, if he thinks the God of Chaos is his to command," Loki says. With his lips against Tony's throat, and his pants wide-open in front, and both Tony's hands wrapped around his very impressive hardon. "I am my own man, and none control me."

"Admit it." – Zip-zip, there go Tony's pants too. There they go, in a pool of expensive, bespoke tailoring on the floor, and there's the billionaire playboy-industrialist standing there with his ass hanging out, and the backs of his legs getting cold. – "You're just with me because you know I'll do whatever you want, aren't you?"

For a long time, Loki's quiet. – Not completely quiet. There are the sucking noises. And the dick-rubbing noises. And the bumping-against-Fury's-desk noises. – "Yeah," he says at last. "That's why I'm with you, Stark." But he cuddles up so close, so goddamn close, and after that neither of them talks any more, for a long time.