Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I make no claims to ownership.
"I heard that you got into a fight with a certain portrait," Harry says with faux casualness.
Albus scowls as he stabs at his ice cream. It's partially melted, and the spoon slides through easily.
"Because he's the rudest, most belligerent, callous, condescending, quarrelsome man I've ever met!" he snaps.
Harry's eyebrows lift at the impressive list of adjectives.
"Why did James have to tell everyone my name is Severus?" Albus continues plaintively.
"Because your brother has an odd sense of humor," says Harry. "I blame your mother for that. She once told a girl that Ron has a tattoo of a Pygmy Puff."
"But that doesn't mean you have to go along with it," Albus accuses.
"It doesn't," Harry agrees, "but you know our family. We tend to enjoy causing chaos."
Albus grumbles to himself and violently stabs at the ice cream again. Harry leans forward and rests his elbows on the table. He tilts his head slightly, wondering if Albus has somehow transferred the images of their extensive family on the ice cream, but it still looks like plain vanilla. Albus has taken only a few bites because Harry refused to allow him to put extra condiments on it. That always involves multiple types of chocolate, and Albus tends to get high on chocolate, resulting in fiery catastrophes.
Thinking of that, Harry asks, "Why were you in the Head's office, anyway?"
Albus immediately turns defensive. "I was trying to teach Scorpius how to cook! How was I supposed to know he's a disaster in the kitchen?"
Harry blinks, and then begins to laugh. He's having trouble imagining any Malfoy in the kitchen.
"And Rose wasn't helping," Albus rants. "She's almost as bad as him!"
"Let me guess: there was fire?" Harry asks wryly.
At Albus' dubious glare, Harry laughs again and reaches over to ruffle Albus' hair. Just as James would be identical to Harry if it weren't for his blue eyes, inherited from Arthur, Albus is Harry's clone except for his dark auburn hair. It sometimes causes problems for them, but Teddy has done a good job of protecting James at Hogwarts, which James is now doing for Albus.
"Enjoy it, Al," Harry advises. "Someday Scorpius might even woo Rose with his… spectacular cooking skills."
For a moment, Albus continues to scowl, but then he finally cracks a grin. "He'll definitely draw a spectatorship," he quips.
