DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT or THE SEVEN PARAGRAPHS FROM NEW MOON ON PAGES 28 AND 29 AND PAGES 65 AND 66

Chapter Playlist: Ignorance- Paramore Ending Start- Metric Faithfully- Glee Always Be- Jimmy Eat World Speed of Sound- Chris Bell Dance in the Dark- Lady Gaga Atlas- Fanfarlo Staring Problem- No Doubt Don't Speak- No Doubt I Am Not a Robot- Marina and the Diamonds Xavia- The Submarines New- No Doubt


I looked at Charlie. "You can't let them take me." I pleaded. He started crying.

I sprawled out on the backseat as they got in the car and started moving.

My last thought before leaving Forks, Washington was about how I never said goodbye to Jacob.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5 seconds go by and then I'm sitting up straight. I unlock the door and throw it open as my mom looks at me like I've gone insane. Phil abruptly stopped the car and then I jumped out of the car into a yard. I started running back to my house. Jacob parked his car and was quickly standing on the lawn. I pumped my arms faster and then I hugged Jake as tight as I possibly could.

"I just- I just had to say goodbye." I cried. I wound my arms around him again, one last time. He kissed me cheek.

"I love you Bells." He murmured. My mom and Phil pulled into the driveway again.

"I love you too." Renee was whispering to Charlie as I engulfed the feel of Jacob. His warmth, his touch.

"I'll miss you so much."

"You kept me whole for a while. But you can't anymore. I'm broken now." I sobbed. "Truly broken." Charlie pried me of him.

"Bells. Sweetie. They're letting you stay here." He whispered. "Relax." I realized I was crying hysterically.

"Okay." I said lifelessly.

He dragged me inside and set me back on my bed. I laid, sprawled on my bed as I watch my belongings being dumped back into my room. My tears dried within minutes. I wouldn't cry in front of people again about this again.


Six months. It's been six months since... Well you know.

Jacob still comes to my house everyday. Even though I don't speak. I stopped speaking. I don't even know if my voicebox still works. Even my tears are silent. But Charlie and Jacob say I still scream in my dreams. I take college classes online, I don't want to move away. Charlie and Jacob are the only constant thing in my life these days.

It's the same thing everyday. I wake up. Log on to the virtual school website. I write down what I have to do that day. I get dressed. By the time I walk back downstairs, Jacob is on the couch watching TV shows. He started homeschooling after the... incident, so he could stay with me. I take the remote from him and turn Oprah on. He never protests. After the show is done we grab our laptops and stop working. Usually sometime between here he eats breakfast. I don't eat during the day anymore. I eat at night because I can't sleep, it's became a habit. I'm never hungry when the sun's out now. We work until the last one is done then I go up to my room and take a small nap while he sits on my rocking chair. Some days when I can't fall asleep I spy him staring at me while he thinks I'm not watching. When I wake up he usually leaves to go on wolf duty. He comes back at 1 A.M. while I'm normally eating. The rest of the night is usually filled with him talking about the outside world until I fall asleep in him arms.

Today I wake up. I laid on my bed for 10 minutes staring at my wrist. I look at the scars I caused and also the fresh cuts. I think Charlie put Jacob on suicide watch. Jacob checks my wrist every night while I'm sleeping I know because he puts my knife back in the kitchen everyday. He cares about me too much. He shouldn't. I'm not worth being cared about.

The sun is streaming in from my window I roll over and push my face into my pillow. I hear muffled voices downstairs. I groan and get up. My feet drag down the stairs and I open my laptop once I flop onto the couch. I don't bother to look into the kitchen to see who Charlie is talking to.

I grabbed my notepad and write my assignments. I hear heels walk across the hardwood floor to stand beside me. I freeze and glance up.

"Hi Bella." Alice says slowly. I pull my knees up to my chest. So this is when my thoughts are really insane. I'm hallucinating now. Tomorrow I'll wake up in the looney bin. My breathing becomes rapid and I rock back and forth. I cover my ears.

"She's not real. She's not real. She's not real." I whisper to myself.

"Bella!"

"You're not real!" I screamed, closing my eyes.

"Calm down!"

I've had a dream like this. Except it was Edward trying to talk to me. I have it everynight. That and the one of the volturi killing him.

Hands pull my knees down and then grab my hand. I look up to see Charlie. He removes his hand and I see my pills laying in my palm. "Honey you need to take you pills for the day." I nodded subconsciously and swallow them. I take a big gulp of water as Alice stares at me.

"I-I didn't realize it was this bad Bella." She said sadly. I didn't say anything so she continued. "I brought you something." I stared at her, confused. "For your birthday." She said as if I was as dumb as a rock. "Which is today Bella."

My birthday? I didn't realize today was the 13th of September.

One year ago from today. My bottom lip quivered.

"Shoot," I muttered when the paper sliced my finger. I pulled it out to examine the damage. A single drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Beyond the shock, there was also pain. I'd tumbled down to the floor by the piano, with my arms thrown out instinctively to catch my fall, into the jagged shards of glass. Only now did I feel the searing, stinging pain that ran from my wrist to the crease in my elbow.

I bit my bottom lip.

Dazed and disoriented, I looked up from the bright red blood pulsing out of my arm- into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires.

"Bella?" Alice waved her hand in my face. I blinked out of my blank state.

In two days it will be one year.

"Bella, we're leaving."

I shook with fear.

"I'm no good for you Bella."

"Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. "You're the best part of my life."

I dug my nails into my palms.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.

There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.

"You...don't...want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.

"No."

Tires crunched onto the driveway outside.

"I just came by to wish you a happy birthday." Alice said lifelessly. My body lifted up from the couch and I hugged her tight in my arms. She was stunned and just stood there and then it comprehended in her brain, she tightened her arms around me. Startled cries poured out of my mouth.

Jacob came through the front door. He stood there glaring at Alice for a second. "Why are you here?" He yelled. "You're going to screw it up even more!"

"You mean screw me up even more." I whispered. His head whipped towards me. I haven't spoken to him since I was supposed to live with Renee. The shock melted off his copper colored skin as he eyed Alice again.

"Leave." A growl escaped his chest. His body started to tremble. I ran over and snaked my arms around his chest to keep him calm. Charlie just stood there, dumbfounded.

"I didn't want you here six months ago and I don't want you here now." I said softly, trying out my voice. "I'll email you, but I can't hang out with ever again. It brings back too many painful memories. She nodded and I unwrapped myself from Jake and hugged Alice once last night and walked her out.

We stopped in front of her car- a porshe. I looked at her questioningly. "It was a present..." She trailed off. She widened her eyes. "Speaking of presents-" She dug into her bag and pulled out a little box and placed it in my hand. Edward left it behind, and before..." She bit her lip and looked at me. I knew what she meant. "He told me to give this to you. But I never had the chance to. And today's your birthday so I wanted to give it to you." She smiled. She opened her car door and flopped in.

"You know you should talk to them." She said sincerely. "You're hurting them by not speaking. Especially Jacob. Let him fix you, like last time."

I breathed in furiously. "You think it's the same as last time?" I shouted. "It's not! And I'm not some toy you can put new batteries in and then I'm alive again!" I stopped off into the house and ran up the stairs to my room. The present flew out of my hand as I threw it. I slammed the door and sprawled out on my bed.

"Bella!" Jacob knocked.

"GO AWAY!" I screamed. I heard him go back down the stairs. I huffed and coughed in my pillow.

Then the stairs creaked as he walked back up them. "Get your bathing suit on!"

I furrowed my brows together and walked up to the door, opening it slightly. "What?"

"I'm taking you to the beach."

"Isn't it cold?" I asked with an edge to my voice.

"Not as cold as it was last March." He grinned. I shivered as I remembered the prickly, cold feeling when I cliff dived.

I shut my door on him and looked through my dresser for a decent bathing suit.


a/n: Oh my! I got so many review last chapter! 0. That is why I haven't update in two months. I worked so hard on the beginning of the story and no one cared enough. If I don't get at least one review, I probably won't continue.

Anyways, REVIEW!