Notes: Thanks for all the reviews guys! Much appreciated! I have several chapters in production, so those will be up soon. Please enjoy my silliness. XD
Also: Happy Birthday Vaeru!
Insomniac
"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
— George Orwell
Act One
The room was dark save for the cheerily blinking green and yellow key pad mounted beside the door frame of the private room that had been converted into the humans' 'habitat'. The humans in question were in the shallow storage container that also gone under a conversion into a recharge berth, both of them asleep. Well, one of them. Cafei tossed and turned as she struggled to find a comfortable position in which to fall back into blissful slumber. Which was a challenging prospect considering her 'bed' was not a fabric lined cushion like her mattress, but a slab of metal with only a few layers of folded alien towel to cushion her form. The first time she had slept in it, she had awoken the next day, sore and very irritable. If she had not possessed any sympathy for Evelyn before that, she certainly did now. Nothing she did seemed to coax her anxious mind back into the rejuvenating process that was sleep. Whatever the reason, she just could not sleep. Counting sheep? No use, she reached 2,453 before she gave up after loosing count. There was no warm milk to drink, but perhaps that was a good thing; she hated milk. Except on cereal, but all on its lonesome, no way Jose.
With a frustrated sigh, Cafei sat up in bed and glared out into the darkness. Her eyes were drawn to the only visible thing, the key pad.
I wonder if Metellus ever sleeps, she thought inanely. The corners of her mouth twitched in an aborted smile. I bet he snores.
And then a sound she was becoming gradually more and more familiar with diverted her attention to the world beyond the giant door; muffled cursing and the boom boom of giant feet. Deciding she was much to alert to even consider the possibility of trying to go back to sleep, Cafei peeled the towel from her body and gingerly stepped over the lip of the box, hoping she did not trip and die. Thanks to the somewhat ingenious design of human eyes, the little to no light provided by the cheerily blinking door frame supplied Cafei with just enough clarity to make out vague shapes and blobs in the room. She could just make out the edge of the table and the outline of the door frame. She pulled her sandals on and walked to the edge. Getting on her hands and knees, she felt around for the ladder down. Her hand smacked painfully into the top rung and she took a moment to nurse it before carefully navigating her way onto the ladder and making her way down to the floor so very far below. At ground level, she could make out a vague line of light under the door; it looked to her like an obscured line of white amongst the dark black. She ambled up to the door way and stared around stupidly.
"Uh, Met?" She called in a soft voice so as not to wake (or to be caught by) Evelyn. There was no response to her call, not that she really believed there would. Maybe she wasn't talking loud enough, "Can…I go out into the bay?"
Again, there was no response.
Maybe he's asleep right nowShe reasoned before a strange notion formed in her mind. Or maybe…
"Um…can I go out into the 'bay…please?"
The door opened obligingly. She grinned before she quickly covered her face with a hand as bright lights assaulted her eyes. Who knew Met was a stickler for manners, she mentally giggled.She walked out of the doorway and into the bay, still shielding her eyes.
"Cafei?" Asked Ratchet's voice; slightly incredulous. She heard him before she saw him, as her vision still blurred due to the abrupt change in lighting. "What are you doing out here? You should be in recharge."
Her eyes finally adjusted and the Medbay visually presented itself. She looked around for the red and white medic and spotted him standing next to a table sorting through a box of mechanical paraphernalia, a small collection of short wires of varying colors in one hand.
"Couldn't sleep," She replied simply as she walked further into the room.
Ratchet regarded her for a moment before asking, "Are you malfunctioning?"
She frowned, but quickly erased the expression. He was always asking that. "Nah. Just restless, I guess."
"Is this normal for you?"
"Yeah, insomnia is pretty common for me." She said, nearing the medic. Ratchet put down the bundle of wires, lowering his hand to the floor and she climbed on awkwardly. Evelyn was much better at Mech-climbing then she was, though Cafei tended to take more risks at it. Namely, trying to stand on Bluestreak shoulder…why he was still moving. She only had to learn not to do that once, which in the minds of the many Mechs who had been nearby, especially Bluestreak, was a good thing. Cafei still giggled at what Evelyn had said about it afterwards: "I think you might have scared a couple hundred years off them. PoorHound looked like he was having a stroke…"
The medic sat her atop the shelf above his work space. She sat on the end, dangling her sandaled feet over the edge.
"Insomnia…" Ratchet muttered, his optics flickering like a computer modem. He looked at her, "Have you ever sought treatment?"
Cafei's eyebrows arched. "No…why?"
"The article implies that insomnia is a serious defect. If you are suffering from this condition, I should think you would seek medical aid."
Cafei shrugged indifferently. "Chronic insomnia maybe, but it's not like I don't get any rest. It's just that my sleeping patterns are all screwy. College does that."
"Hm," Ratchet said, returning to his work of sorting through the box.
"I'd rather have a little insomnia then a little narcolepsy," Cafei commented with a smirk, imagining what hell would conspire if she should suddenly fall unconscious. Especially around Ratchet. Oh, that'd be loads o' fun.
"Narco-what?"
"Narcolepsy," She repeated, "It's when you fall asleep, but you have no control over it. Think of it like…if a Mech offlined at random times without a reason. Like a morbid 'on and off' switch."
The medic huffed a laugh, short and humorless.
"If a Mech began to randomly offline, then I would have to check the circuitry in his processor," Ratchet replied, "Something is probably loose and sending signals to the wrong systems."
"That would suck."
"I'm sure it would."
A pause.
"You don't mind if I just hang out here for bit do you?"
"No," He replied, seemed to think better of it and looked up at her. He amended his previous answer before retuning to his task, "As long as you aren't a nuisance and behave yourself."
Cafei smiled, "Oh come on! I always behave…when I'm in grabbing distance."
Ratchet flickered a glance at her, but said nothing.
A silence fell over the pair during which Ratchet continued to sort through his 'box-O-shit'. Cafei swung her legs back and forth idly, her mind taking the opportunity to ponder about various things that she had thought of since arriving aboard the ship. Without warning, her left sandal flew off her foot when she swung her leg a little too hard and it smacked Ratchet on top of his head before falling. The strap caught the tip of the medic's chevron and the little piece of footwear hung there like a strange Christmas decoration.
Cafei froze in slight horror, her left foot still extended as if she was in shock. Ratchet lifted his head and glared at her.
"I swear that was a complete accident!" She pleaded. Ratchet's glare increased and he slowly lifted his hand to his chevron to pick off the human's little foot cover. Holding the sandal delicately between his fingers, he presented it to Cafei wordlessly and she took it back warily, half expecting the medic to suddenly shoot laser beams from him optics.
"Strike one." He said tersely.
Cafei nodded sulkily and put her sandal back on.
Act Two
The Medbay doors slid aside effortlessly with a woosh. Ratchet and Cafei both looked up towards the door as a clamor of shuffles, foot steps, and curses filled the previously quiet room.
"—well if you'da jus' dun wha yer 'er told—"
"—it would have been ten times worse if I'd tried to secure the fraggin' thing while it was in—"
"Ten times worse? It's yer own fault it happened at all!"
"Says you."
"Well, I ain't the Mech with a hole in his foot, am I?"
Cafei watched curiously as the imposing form of Ironhide strode into the bay, one hand tucked under the arm of the mini-bot Brawn, supporting him, while the other rested on the smaller Mech's shoulder, steering him. Cafei sucked air through her teeth at the sight of Brawn's right foot; the metal was cracked and dented and streams of colorful liquid dripped from the ankle area. Ironhide's red armor was scuffed and dirty as if he'd had been working in a coal mine while Brawn's seemed only slightly dirty.
Ratchet's inner workings revved moodily, arms cross over his chest, as Ironhide and Brawn entered. "Alright," Ratchet grunted as he walked over to the pair and together, both taller Mechs helped Brawn onto a table. "What happened?"
"Crate of alloy tubes fell on 'is foot." Ironhide rumbled. Cafei laughed, earning a glare from Ratchet.
"Cafei?"
"Yeah?"
"Strike two."
"Aw! C'mon! That's no fair! I call foul!"
"Wanna make it three?"
"You're evil."
Ratchet ignored her. Ironhide stood next to Ratchet, both Mech were looking at Brawn's injury, "The line wasn't secured."
"That's what I was trying to do when it fell!" Brawn grumped, sitting up on his elbows, and winced as Ratchet began to examine his damaged foot.
"Calm down," Ratchet chastised crustily, "It'll hurt more if you keep moving." Obediently, Brawn remained perfectly still.
Ironhide stepped away, having successfully delivered his charge, to stand near the wall to observe. From her perch Cafei caught the Mech's eye and waved at him sheepishly. The large red Mech turned her way and walked over to stand next to the shelf.
I hope he isn't peeved at me too, She thought worryingly about the translation of her and Evelyn's little conversation that had 'leaked' to the crew. Yeah right. 'Leaked' my foot.I smell a rat. And his name is Jazz.
"So," Ironhide said to her, arms crossed, "Ya got a problem with the way I talk, huh?"
Cafei froze. Ah shit…
"Not at all! You make it sound like I was trying to insult you," Cafei laughed nervously. She slowly scooted away from him, hoping he wouldn't notice her pathetic attempt of escape, "It was just an honest observation! Besides, I love John Wayne!"
Ironhide eyed her incredulously.
"I'd never insult you!" Cafei insisted, smiling stiffly, and added belatedly, "I want to continue living."
Ironhide rumbled with amusement at her and leaned back leisurely against the counter. "Don't worry 'bout it. You have more to be worried about from Gears then me. He holds grudges like no bodies business."
Cafei blanched at the prospect of having a pissed of minibot stalking her, just waiting for the chance at revenge. "Lovely…"
"S'where yer better behaved half?"
"Evelyn? She's aslee—er…she's recharging," Cafei answered, still imagining the red and blue form of Gears peaking around corners, watching her every movements, and plotting her demise like some robotic alien version of Wiley Coyote. Meep meep.
"Why aren't you?" Ironhide asked absently.
"Not tired." Cafei answered as the beginnings of a familiar, annoying, tickling sensation in her sinuses grew. Cafei's face scruched up in preparation for the forthcoming reaction. Ironhide looked at her strangely.
"Somethin' wrong with ya?"
"No, I'm jus….ju…achoo!" Cafei covered her mouth with her hands as she sneezed, whipping them on her shirt afterwards. When she looked up, she realized she was suddenly the focus of the room. She blinked. "What?"
Ironhide's optics narrowed. "What was that?"
Cafei frowned. "What? I sneezed." She turned to look at Ratchet. His optics were already flickering. She mentally groaned. Aaaand here it comes…
"Are you sick?" Ratchet asked intently. Cafei shook her head. "The humans files indicate 'sneezing' is a symptom of various afflictions. Are you certain you are not ill?"
"No, Ratchet. I'm not si…si...achoo!" Cafei sneezed again. She looked at the Mechs all staring at her intently. "Oh for Christ sake! It's nothing! I'm probably just allergic to something in here. Dust maybe."
Ratchet's optics flickered again and he was silent for a few moments, his scowl deepening with every second. Cafei was about to ask what was wrong when she suddenly sneezed again, having only a split second warning to cover her mouth.
"Do you have any allergies?" Ratchet suddenly asked, optics narrow.
Cafei shook her head, "Not that I know of."
"What's an allurgi?" Ironhide asked.
Ratchet answered before Cafei could, "It's an immune system disorder, one four forms of hypersensitivity, where the subject suffers rapid reactions to certain environmental substances called allergens. What puzzles me though, is what kind of allergens would be on board to cause it?"
"I don't have any allergies!" Cafei insisted.
Ratchet sat his tool down that he'd been using to fix Brawn's foot and approached Cafei. Ironhide scooted aside to allow the medic access to the human. The medic seemed to consider her a while and then glanced sharply at Ironhide.
"What?"
"You," Ratchet rumbled, "It's you that's making her sneeze."
"How can I be makin' 'er sneeze?" Ironhide asked, optics narrowing indignantly. Ratchet reached out and ran a finger through the sooty mess caking the red Mech's armor. Tuning to Cafei, he lifted his finger so the grunge was right near her face. Cafei shied away from the sooty finger, slightly disgusted.
And then…she sneezed. Hard. "Ow..."
"See?" Ratchet smirked. And then the medic glanced behind him, his optics seeming to point out the vague foot prints on the floor…leading to Ironhide.
Cafei glared at Ratchet, the beginnings of a headache forming in the back of her head from having sneezed a good few times, "You know, as fun as sneezing is, after a few times it starts to suck."
Ironhide grumbled, looking down at his dirty armor. "So I need a rinse off, big deal."
"Go wash off," Ratchet told him, "I'll finish fixing Brawn. You can come back when we can see you armor again. If she starts having a serious reaction, of which I have no way to treat, then you will have effectively earned yourself a serious aft-kicking. Now go!"
"But—"
"You. Go. Wash. Now."
Ironhide looked as though he wanted to protest further, but with one glance as Cafei and another at Ratchet (optics narrow and systems revving irritably), he marched petulantly out of the Medbay.
"I never understood why it's such a hassle to get Ironhide to rinse off once in a while," Brawn commented, "I swear if no one told him to, he'd have dirt caked on him like a second layer of armor."
Ratchet flicked his wrist, retrieving a towel from subspace, and whipped his hand clean. "I believe it." He turned to look at Cafei and noticed she looked as though she was about to sneeze again. But instead of the violent expulsion of irritable particles from her sinuses, she simply yawned.
"And I believe you've stayed up long enough," He said, depositing the towel on the counter and reaching up to pluck the tiny femme off the shelf. "Back to bed."
Ratchet carried the human back into the private room and gently placed her atop the towels in the mini-recharge berth. He absently scanned the sleeping human, noting her vitals were normal and then checked Cafei for good measure. Evelyn stirred slightly, but otherwise did not wake. As Ratchet left, the door sliding shut behind him, Evelyn turned over to face Cafei as she snuggled back under the covers. Her eyes did not open.
"Where've you been?" She asked, drunk with sleep, eyes still closed.
"In the Bay," Cafei replied with a yawn. "I was having trouble sleeping."
"You OK now…?"
"Yeah. Ratchet threatening people made me sleepy."
END
Author's notes: I dunno why, but whenever my Dad lectures me, I get really sleepy. Sorry for the seemingly abrupt ending, but I had no idea where I was going and I hit a brick wall. I think I might have broken something…ow…
And yeah, I've had sneezing fits that have left me with a huge headache. They no fun. I work in a steel mill in the purchasing department and whenever I go over to the main office to get mail, I always pass some of the mill workers, covered inblack grease, dirt, and soot. Makes me sneeze. Don't ya hate it when you feel like you have to sneeze, but you never do? I always feel deprived afterwards. lol
