A/N: So I googled Steven Stone cuz (spoilers again for this chapter, I should put this at the end or something) he 'appears' in this chapter (not really, I was just curious), and holy crap he's kinda sorta cute. Huh. The fanart, man, the fanart. Zerochan is a horrible black hole, don't go there, escape while you can! Also, sorry for the long delay. It's been a while.
I'm also thinking of moving to AO3. They actually have an author's notes section there, so I won't have to bore all of you as you slug through my sometimes rather rambling notes. I'll let you know when that happens.
Anyways, enjoy!
XxX
"So you're the delivery boy that I should be expecting?" the clerk, a female in her early twenties, of the Poke Mart in Dewford Town asked when Tsuna staggered into the building, exhausted and weary from the night at sea. Reborn was perfectly refreshed, which Tsuna greatly resented.
"Yeah. Here's the package," Tsuna answered, digging around his backpack and flailing slightly before wrestling the package from under a spare change of clothes ("For your adventure, Tsu-chan! If you're going to spend more than a day out, make sure you change your underwear!") and then handing the rumpled package to the clerk. She was distinctly unimpressed with the package's appearance before shrugging and tossing it into the corner. There was a small crack in the package's general direction, and Tsuna blanched.
"Cool. Hey, look, I need you to deliver a package to some guy in Granite Cave, um, what was his name…" the clerk mumbled, digging around in a draw before making a triumphant noise. She held the letter in front of Tsuna demandingly, waving it aggressively when he didn't' take it, and began rambling, "Here, this guy, Byakuran. Kinda cute, white hair and this weird tattoo under his eye, but pretty adorable nonetheless. Obsessed with rocks for some reason. Not as cute as Brawly, who's adorable and really hot, but that's not the point. He's spent the last couple of days in there, and we can't get the letter to him. You're a trainer, though, right?"
"A-actually, no, I'm no-"
"Perfect, your Houndour looks strong. Shouldn't be too much of a problem, even if the Pokemon in there have a type advantage," the clerk continued, ignoring Tsuna's increasingly feeble protests.
At Reborn's sharp look, Tsuna sighed and took the letter. He tucked it into his backpack and glanced down at the Houndour, who raised its strange white dot eyebrow again and jerked his head towards the entrance. This was Tsuna's life, apparently.
"Oh, here, I don't have much money on me, but have some Pokeballs as thanks," the clerk said, grabbing several minimized Pokeballs and shoving them into Tsuna's hands as well before winking. "They're from the store, but nobody'll really know." Tsuna stared at them like they were a bunch of Spinaraks, poisonous and poised to strike him and bring him to his knees and cry. As far as he was concerned, they were. Tools of destruction and things that definitely did not belong in his hands.
"I don't-" he began, trying to give them back, but the clerk only came around the counter and began pushing him out the door.
"Don't be modest, they're your payment. Thanks, dude!" the clerk shouted before the automatic doors slid shut in his petrified, utterly devastated face.
Reborn huffed a sadistic laugh while Tsuna sank into the sand and wished that some hole would just open up below him and swallow him whole. He mercilessly stomped over the fallen human and headed north, towards where Granite Cave was supposedly. The poor useless human would catch up sometime.
XxX
"It's dark in there, Reborn, I really don't think this is a good idea…" Tsuna whispered (but his whisper really wasn't a whisper, unbeknownst to him, and several Zubat squeaked in annoyance). "I'll probably trip over some Geodude and die, and you wouldn't want that, would you?" he pleaded.
The Houndour's silence told Tsuna exactly what he thought about that question. And the answer was definitely not no, I would never want you to harm yourself. Sadistic hound.
"Reborn, I really…!"
Having had enough of his shenanigans, the Houndour growled, low and menacing, and Tsuna abruptly changed his mind. The cave was the lesser of two evils. Anything could be the lesser of two evils when compared to Reborn.
Tsuna abruptly found himself in a dark cave. And by dark, he meant if it weren't for Reborn's occasional spouts of Embers that kept only the space around them lit, he would have found himself face to face with a wall multiple times. And even then, he nearly found himself becoming more intimate than he ever wanted with a rocky surface.
The going was slow. Painfully slow. There were ledges over which Tsuna found himself continuously tripping down (he'll have seriously scraped knees after this), ladders that he kept clipping his shoulders on, and, like he'd predicted, Geodudes and Arons that he kept tripping over. Fortunately, most of the Pokemon he disturbed were either forgiving of the poor, hapless human stumbling through the cave or were too scared of the rather threatening hellhound by his side. For once, Tsuna was grateful for Reborn's presence.
Unfortunately, 'most Pokemon' did not seem to include one incredibly ferocious, livid Aron.
Honestly, Tsuna was planning to step around the small metal Pokemon, he really was, but then Reborn had made a sudden movement, a Zubat had swept towards his head, and Tsuna panicked, okay, it wasn't intentional! But somehow, he'd kicked at the Aron, and the Aron had taken offense. Personally, Tsuna thought his sore, throbbing toe was enough revenge, but the Aron didn't agree.
"Aron!" the small Pokemon screeched angrily. It pawed at the ground and, in a movement that was surprisingly deft for such a small Pokemon, threw a glob of mud straight at Tsuna's face. He yelped and leapt to the side. His shoulder collided painfully with a wall, and he winced in pain.
Reborn, meanwhile, had spat a lazy Ember at the metal Pokemon. The Aron winced but shook off the fire, and it looked even more furious. Seeing that his attack hadn't made much of a difference, the Houndour yawned before sitting on his haunches. He kept a steady stream of flame out of his mouth, but otherwise, Tsuna figured that he wasn't going to be much help anymore.
The Aron lowered its head menacingly before rushing towards Tsuna. He tried dodging again, and the Aron rammed into the rock wall. A small web of cracks appeared from the impact point, and the Aron turned again.
This process repeated several times. Dodge, Tackle, dodge, Mud Slap, dodge, panicked scream, Tackle. Echoes of metal against rock sounded throughout the cavern as the Aron kept slamming into the wall, and yelps and screams emanated from the brunet.
"Look, can we talk this out, it was an accident!" Tsuna cried, panting and resting his back against the wall of the cave, a rocky edge digging into his back. He planted his hands on his knees and tried to catch his breath, eyes tracking the still irate Aron. The small metal Pokemon pawed at the ground with its stubby feet, a sight that would have been adorable were it not for the fact that a Pokemon made of metal was determined to rip his throat out.
He really just wanted to catch a break. Was that so hard to ask? Apparently so.
Preparing for another Tackle, the Aron rushed forward. Tsuna dodged, performing a feat of miraculous evasion and jumping over the rampaging Pokemon. With an unnaturally loud crack, the Aron bashed its head into the wall. The web of cracks finally gave an ominous sound, and parts of the wall started crumbling down. Small, then larger rocks began raining down on the Pokemon.
Tsuna whipped around at the noise and the ensuing sound of distress from the Aron as a particularly large rock hurtled towards it. Gasping, Tsuna changed trajectories and dove for the Aron. He slammed into the small metal Pokemon, dragging it out from under the rocks. His should throbbed when it'd slammed into the surprisingly heavy Pokemon, and his fingers latched onto the smooth, cool body and lugged it away from the crumbling wall.
Finally, the cave stopped trying to kill them, and Tsuna coughed, waving his hand to try to clear the dust obscuring his vision. He realized belatedly when the dust cleared that the Aron that was trying to kill him before had its eyes fixed on him. Tsuna gulped.
The most uncomfortable staring contest between a Pokemon and a human ensued. Reborn licked his paws idly, cocking his head in interest at the human and Aron before snorting and spitting fire at the rocks to warm them. If this was going to take a while, he might as well get comfortable.
"Aron!" the small metal Pokemon squeaked before launching itself at Tsuna. He screamed and held his hands in front of his face in fear. The Aron barreled into his stomach, and he went flying backwards.
When Tsuna found himself lying on his back, staring at the ceiling of the cave, the Aron was nuzzling into his cheek. It made cooing and chirping sounds, eerie blue eyes gazing at him in adoration and hero worship.
Tsuna was sure this was some kind of ploy. He closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to witness his untimely demise. The Aron would most likely try to kill him any moment now.
Any moment now.
…sometime soon.
After cringing for a good five minutes with nothing to interrupt them other than Reborn's increasingly huffy protests and flames, Tsuna cracked an eye open to see the Aron still rubbing its head into his cheek. He was going to have metal burn on that cheek for a while now and look utterly ridiculous.
"Um…" he said, voice slightly hoarse from fear and adrenaline. The Aron lifted his head, and now Tsuna was positive it was sparkling at him.
"Aron!" it exclaimed happily.
And that was how Tsuna earned himself a puppy in the form of an iron Pokemon.
XxX
When Tsuna finally found himself in a well-lit cave, he gasped for air and thanked the gods for light like a dying man in the middle of the desert catching his first sight of water. Light was wonderful, he was never, ever going into another cave again. Between stampeding Arons and sadistic Houndours, Tsuna wasn't sure he'd survive another trip through that cave.
At the other side of the cavern, he saw a white haired man staring down at a rock like it was the most interesting and revelatory thing he'd seen since grilled cheese.
"U-um, excuse me, but are you Byakuran?" he called out, and the man turned. True to the clerk's words, the man had three weird purple triangles under his left eye. Weird fashion choice, but hey, Tsuna wasn't there to judge how another person decided to look. Rather, he was here to deliver a letter, after which he'd get the hell out of Dewford and never look backwards again.
"I am! Who're you?" Byakuran asked cheerfully before returning his attention back towards the rock. Tsuna felt somewhat offended that a rock was more fascinating than he was, but he shrugged off the light offence.
"I have a letter for you." He waved his letter around before approaching the crouching man. Byakuran held out his hand without even looking away from the rock (rude!) and tucked it into his pocket.
Tsuna paused, not sure if he had to do anything else. Reborn yawned pointedly, and the Aron (whom Tsuna decided to call Gokudera, because hey, why not, nobody said Tsuna was good at naming anyways) just glowered at the other man hostilely.
"Well, if there's nothing else, I'm just going to go now," Tsuna said to Byakuran, but he might as well have been talking to the air for all it mattered. Other than the initial glance, Byakuran hadn't turned to look at Tsuna even once.
As Tsuna was about to leave the cavern, his footsteps echoing around the chamber, Byakuran called out.
"Wait."
Tsuna turned his head suspiciously. He swore, if this was another…
"You're a trainer, aren't you?" the white haired man asked, and Tsuna shook his head vehemently.
"I'm not! I'm-"
And it really was misfortune that Reborn was one persistent and wily bugger, because he just seemed to insist on sending Tsuna out on dangerous missions, and the Houndour knew that if Tsuna admitted to being a trainer, there'd be even more dangerous missions.
So very stealthily, Reborn placed his paw on Tsuna's shoe and looked up with threatening eyes.
You will say yes, and you will do it with a smile.
So that's exactly what Tsuna did.
"I am a trainer," Tsuna quickly cut off his previous statement and hung his head. Last time he checked, the trainers were supposed to control the Pokemon, not the other way around.
Byakuran abruptly stood up and turned around, clapping his hands. When Tsuna glanced behind him, he noticed something very suspicious indeed.
There was a bag of multicolored marshmallows on the ground. This bag of marshmallows were sitting right beside the rock. There were only white marshmallows in Byakuran's hand.
Everything clicked in his head.
Byakuran had been staring at the bag of marshmallows. So he could pick out the white ones to eat.
Tsuna had been ignored for a bag of marshmallows.
It was official. Tsuna was less interesting than food that was mostly comprised of air. His life was less meaningful than air.
So preoccupied with his thoughts, Tsuna didn't notice when Byakuran shoved a Pokeball into his face. Tsuna yelped and stumbled backwards over Gokudera (not for the first time) and nearly landed on his butt in surprise.
"I need this delivered Pokemon delivered to Professor Rowan in Sinnoh. I'm from there myself, but I can't go back just yet. I've got a bit of business left in this cave," Byakuran explained, glancing not-so-surreptitiously back at the bag of mashmallows. Bullshit, Tsuna thought. "I'm sure you'll agree, since there's a bunch of Pokemon from there not available readily here in Hoenn. It's a good experience for a trainer."
Byakuran insistently pushed the Pokemon into Tsuna's hands. Tsuna took it with a wail of despair and a farewell towards any peaceful life he would have returned to after this. Reborn just looked smug, and Gokudera's eyes hadn't stopped shining since he'd started following the brunet around.
"Thanks! Don't dawdle too long, the Pokemon in that Pokeball is dangerous. Don't let it out! If so, it'll haunt you for the rest of your life, okay?" Byakuran advised, and his purple eyes flashed seriously before he closed them and popped a marshmallow into his mouth. With a whistle, Byakuran turned around and went back to studying his rocks (marshmallows, he was studying marshmallows).
Tsuna was left staring down at the Pokeball with abject horror and a sinking feeling. He minimized it and thrust it into the backpack.
And so, without Tsuna's permission, his litter entourage of Pokemon grew. He debated the pros of using a Pokeball but then decided not to. If there was one thing Tsuna valued, it was freedom, and if he was a Pokemon, he wouldn't enjoy being trapped in a small Pokeball all day either.
But he still wasn't letting out that mysterious Pokemon. No way. His intuition told him not to, and Tsuna valued his intuition.
And so, with his backpack several Pokeballs heavier (one of which held an actual Pokemon), Tsuna headed back out of Granite Cave and hoped to never return.
XxX
It was just his luck, really, that what awaited him outside of the cave was a squirt of water.
Tsuna spluttered, shirt wet and trying to blink salt water out of his face. His eyes stung, and several tears rolled down his face in an attempt to lessen the pain. Now he was wet from the surprise attack, dusty from his adventure in the cave, as well as scraped from his little confrontation with Gokudera. Who was still following him.
Tsuna whipped his head around to identify the attacker. And there, sitting innocently in the water, was a Horsea.
Well, Tsuna thought, trying to grasp at the silver lining, at least it wasn't ink.
The next squirt of liquid was pitch black and stained him head to toe. Tsuna gasped as the cold liquid dripped down his shirt. He attempted to wipe it away to no avail.
Gokudera growled angrily like some little offended Spearow instead of the steadfast, calm Aron he was supposed to be, and Reborn looked on with amusement. That is, until another squirt of water was aimed at him. He leapt aside, snarling lightly with threatening smoke drifting from his nostrils. The water landed on Gokudera instead, who gave a weak little shiver.
Tsuna was done. He was so done.
"Alright, you little shrimp. I don't care if you squirt water at me, but Gokudera and Reborn here are weak to water," Tsuna snapped, advancing on the Horsea. He disregarded the salt water that started soaking his shoes when he'd advanced past the shoreline. "I'm going to have to ask you to stop, because that's mean."
And after his (admittedly pretty pathetic) threatening speech, the Horsea regarded him with serious eyes. It tilted its head back and forth before, with wide eyes, it gave a cheerful "Horsea" before leaping out of the water and into Tsuna's arms.
Tsuna shrieked and dove for cover. Unfortunately, he'd forgotten that he was standing shin-deep in cold seawater, so when he dropped the Horsea as well as his whole body from Pokemon determined to maul him (why, why where Pokemon all trying to kill him today?!), he made a rather fantastic splash.
Now there was a Horsea attacking him, and his clothes were wet. Worst. Day. Ever.
The Horsea gave a squeal and jumped at Tsuna again, and this time, the brunet was prepared. He caught the scaly, somewhat slimy Pokemon and lugged the surprisingly heavy Pokemon onto the shore. He disregarded the hiccupping spurts of flame that usually accompanied Reborn's version of mocking laughter and Gokudera's death rays aimed at the now content Horsea.
He was raising the white flag and waving it. He threw up his hands. He surrendered.
He would not have any more Pokemon thrust upon him today. He was going to take this public menace, present it to the Poke Center, and never look back at this town again.
XxX
Thanks for reading, and please review!
Sincerely yours,
haplessgrapefrut
