I wrote this about 5 months ago! It was a funny little idea I had in mind after seeing how terrible guys can be when they talk about sex and how it's the only way to get close to a girl. This fic is pretty crude, and I cannot emphasis enough how this needs to be read by mature readers!

Hopefully, the joke isn't too crude to be found disgusting. Enjoy then!


Agon had never really cared about the hand signals Hiruma and Mamori uses with each other. They were useful after all, especially on the field during a play. But it caught his attention today, and he narrowed his eyes as he sauntered towards Saikyoudai Wizard's Quarterback and Manager.

Because they were using hand signals in close proximity just outside of the clubhouse.

"What the fuck is going on here?" he asked as he approached them. "Saying something so secretive that you don't even want the walls to hear? Are you guys finally flirting?"

Mamori let out a small squeak as she blushed, holding her clipboard filled with formations before her face. She looked at Hiruma desperately for him to explain the situation.

"Fucking Manager's got a sore throat," said Hiruma, eyeing Mamori in a slightly annoyed way. "Can't understand a word she's saying, so I thought it'd be better to talk this way."

"Well that's unfair," Agon sneered, though he looked amused. "That means only she can talk to you and no one else."

Hiruma and Mamori shared a glance before Hiruma replied, "Oh, she can still talk. If you can stand listening to the voice of a toad."

Mamori smacked Hiruma's arm with her clipboard, made a quick hand signal and stomped off towards the field in a huff. Hiruma grinned as his eyes followed her.

"You two should just fuck already. The sexual tension annoys me," said Agon.

"Fucking isn't everything, Fucking Dreads."

"In this case, I think it is." Agon grinned. "You should tell her to give you a blowjob. Tell her it's the best cure for a sore throat."

Hiruma looked at Agon, eyes glinting in amusement as he pulled out a pack of gum. "Is that your way of getting girls to sleep with you?"

"I'd use it if a girl with a fine ass and big tits told me she had sore throat. You have one right before you and you just let her slip away. What a fucking waste."

"You should stop sleeping with sluts."

"My perrogative, trash. And it's your loss."

The sound of a whistle pierces through the air. "Looks like practice has started. Better get changed, Fucking Dreads," Hiruma chewed on his gum as he made his way towards the field.

Agon sneered, not liking the order even if it was phrased as a suggestion, but he turned around towards the clubhouse anyways. Then he heard Hiruma say, "It was probably the blowjob that gave her the sore throat anyways."