Jack stared blankly at the empty storeroom. "But the monitors said something alive was in here.."

Ianto frowned. "Yeah, it did." He glanced down at the gun he was holding. "Should we put these away, then?"

"Shhh!" Jack said suddenly. "Can you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Then Ianto heard a tiny tapping sound up by the lights on the ceiling. He stared upwards, pointing his gun at the lights and squinting to try and spot what was making the noise. "I can't see it."

"Huh. I wonder..." Jack reached over and switched off the lights. The sound stopped. He switched them back on and the noise started again. Both Jack and Ianto flinched.

"Is it in the lights?" Ianto whispered.

"I don't know," Jack replied softly. Flick. Lights off. Silence. Flick. Lights on. Thump. Thump. "It seems like it might be."

"Can we dim the lights?" Ianto murmured. Jack tapped some buttons on his Vortex Manipulator and the lights dimmed. Gazing up, Ianto spotted a small, dark, flying thing slamming repeatedly into the glass of the lights. "What is that?"

"No idea...Let's catch it."

Ianto coughed in surprise. "What?!"

Jack shrugged. "Why not? Doesn't look too dangerous."

"Looks can be deceiving," Ianto hissed. "We have to be really careful, then."

"Fine, sure. Spoilsport," Jack muttered. "What fun is there in being careful?" he added as they slowly backed out of the room and closed the door.

"Staying alive."

Jack grinned. "That's fun? Since when?"

Ianto reached over and smacked the back of his head. "Since I don't like watching you die, you idiot."

Wincing, Jack smiled apologetically at him. He changed the subject carefully. "So how do we catch this thing?"

"Butterfly net?" Ianto suggested jokingly. "Plastic shopping bag?"

"Both certainly valid options," acknowledged Jack. "But since I doubt we have a butterfly net in the Hub, the plastic bag will have to do."

Ianto raised his eyebrows. "Really? I wasn't being serious."

"It was still a good idea," Jack told him. "Wait here, I'll go find something." He dashed off. Ianto leaned against the wall and waited. A few minutes later, Jack came rushing back with a large plastic bag in his hand. "Found this in one of the storage rooms," he explained.

"Are you going to attempt to catch it first, or shall I?" Ianto asked as they prepared to re-open the door to the small storeroom that the thing was in.

"Me first." Jack placed his hand on the door handle. "Three...two...one," he counted off, then swung the door open quickly.

"There it is!" Ianto called, pointing at the little dark thing hovering around the lights. Jack, holding on to the plastic bag by one handle, waved it quickly around at the ceiling, trying to drive the thing downwards. Ianto lost sight of it, but Jack obviously didn't, because he kept swiping at something until he let out a shout and clapped his hands over the open end of the bag, gathering it up. "I got it!"

Ianto ran over. "What is it, can we see?" he asked eagerly.

"Hang on, hang on," Jack cautioned. "Let me look first." He opened up a tiny hole in the top of the bag, peering inside carefully. Then he raised his head slowly. "Ianto."

"What is it?"

Jack seemed to be barely holding back laughter. "Take a look."

Ianto leaned over to look inside the bag. "Oh, you're joking," he said as the realization dawned on him. "Really?"

"Apparently so."

Ianto shook his head. "We actually just spent half an hour-"

"Yep."

"Freaking out and tracking down…"

"Yep."

"A ladybird beetle?"

"Yep-wait, what?"

Ianto looked at him, confused. "What, what?"

"What did you call it?"

"It's a ladybird, Jack."

"No, it's a ladybug."

"Only Americans say 'ladybug'."

"I'm American."

Ianto raised his eyebrows. "Sort of."

Jack shrugged. "What are we going to do with this ladybu-bird?"

"Take it outside?" Ianto suggested. "Keep it as a pet? I'm sure Tosh would appreciate it, it's small and doesn't make much noise."

"And won't try to eat her occasionally."

"Myfanwe only did that once!" defended Ianto. "And it was your fault, anyway. You were the one who made me take a day off to go visit Rhi and then forgot to feed her."

Jack changed the subject hastily. "So do we keep it or let it go?"

"We should just put it outside. Poor little thing, it probably has no idea what's happening or why it's inside of a huge, loud, white plastic bag," Ianto said sympathetically, leading the way towards the stairs.

"Trust you to get emotional over a bug," Jack teased as they started ascending the stairs going up to the main floor.

"It's not a bug, Jack, it's an insect," Ianto corrected.

"Now you're getting sciency." Jack winked. Ianto felt like Jack had only used the wrong terminology to annoy him, so he just ignored him.

They stepped outside. Jack opened the top of the bag carefully and waited for a minute for it to fly out. But it was either too dark for the little beetle, or it was confused as to how to climb out, because it wasn't appearing.

"Let me," Ianto offered, and reached into the bag. He found the ladybird and scooped it up onto the tip of his finger. It crawled up until it was perched precariously on his knuckle. "Whoops, hold on, little one," he laughed as it almost fell off. He walked a couple of steps forward. There was a small potted plant in front of one of the shops, and he knelt down and lay his hand flat along the soil. "There you go," he said encouragingly. The little insect ambled further up Ianto's hand. "No, you're supposed to be going off my hand," Ianto reprimanded.

Jack had come up behind them. "Look, I'm not the only one who refuses to let go of you."

Ianto coughed. "Jack."

Jack grinned. "Mm?"

Ianto ignored him. He blew on the ladybird gently, and it finally gave in and wandered down into the dirt. "There." He stood up. "Come on, let's go back."

Jack offered him his hand, and Ianto took it. They walked back to the Hub. "What I don't understand is," Jack stated, "how did it even get in in the first place?"

"Who knows?"

"Maybe the Rift did actually drop it in."

"Jack, the Rift's got more interesting things to dump on us."

"But what if it did? What if it picked it up in America, and so I was right when I called it a ladybug?"

"I don't think it matters where it came from. It's still a ladybird if it's here, and a ladybug in America."

"Like a pterodactyl versus a pteradon?"

Ianto sighed. "No, because 'pterodactyls' don't really exist. It was just a term that undereducated scientists came up with for any flying reptile of which they came across fossils. Myfanwe is a pteradon. How many times have I told you this?"

"Probably more than you should have had to. But it's funny to keep asking."

"It's irritating to have to explain it over and over."

"And it's quite entertaining to irritate you," returned Jack.

"It won't be when the next time I have to explain it, I make you decaf for a month," Ianto muttered.

Jack shut up wisely. When Ianto started threatening him with decaf…


Well that was different. I'm sorry if it wasn't quite as funny as the first two, I'm so much better at angst and hurt/comfort and deeper stuff than I am with fluff. But I got this idea (well, I didn't actually get it, my friend tonicook15 did after I told her about the short anecdote that you can read if you look a little to the right of where your eyes are now) after I had a ladybug (and I am American, so I can say that) get into my bedroom and I had no clue what it was at first but it kept bumping into my light and my ceiling fan so I picked up a big white plastic shopping bag and spent ten minutes trying to catch it...that was an interesting evening. So then my friend suggested (in no seriousness whatsoever) that I write something like this. And it happened! Yay! I hope you enjoyed. You should, like, go read some of my other TW stuff if you did...Thanks for reading! Love you!

~Clare