This came to me on the walk home from the pub. I was half cut (Drunk to any non geordies) when i wrote it so sorry for any mistakes. Hope you all enjoy it. New title was inspired by Trinitystargazer3 I think it fits the second and third chapters better,

Official Memo

To all those concerned I feel it is necessary to address the current wave of one specific prank. Who ever is replacing the real coffee with decaffeinated will better stop now. The lack of caffeine is making most of the civilian staff very grouchy. If they find the culprit before I do then I cannot be held responsible for their actions. I am also receiving lots of complaints for the military staff about the lack of caffeine, nobody wants a pissed off airman after them. If these actions continue then I will personally consider this an attack against me and the consequences will be very bad for the culprit. My job is difficult enough without being deprived of my morning caffeine injection.

From the desk of General Jack O'Neill

The next day

Official Memo

This includes half cafe. I do not appreciate sarcasm

From the desk of General Jack O'Neill

Two hours later

Official Memo

This includes hot chocolate, you despicable desperate

From the desk of General Jack O'Neill

Two more hours later

Official Memo

Or any drink that looks enough like coffee to pass a quick inspection. Who ever is doing this better stop. You are risking the safety of the base and of all base personnel. Stop now or the consequences of your actions will be horrible. Carter and Jackson will lead the manhunt I swear, stop, stop now, you hear me.

From the desk of General Jack O'Neill

As Carter read the notice Dr. Frasier walked passed her and slipped into the commissary to replace today's coffee with gravy. This base was coming off caffeine one way or another.