Chapter Three

It was getting late but Angel still couldn't find sleep. He thought maybe a walk would help him calm down, help him sort through the thoughts in his head. He pulled on his coat and stepped outside, closing the door behind him as me made his way. It was a clear and cool night, the moon providing enough light for him to walk and maintain awareness of his surroundings.

As he passed the cemetery, he felt pulled in. There were so many headstones how was he to know which was hers. It didn't take him long, within five minutes his eyes fell to one of the stones, it was decorated with flowers, it was obvious someone kept it up. 'Probably Giles' Angel thought as he sat down on the grass, touching the headstone with his palm. He knew her body wasn't there, they never would have found it, but the fact that they still gave her as proper of a goodbye as they could was touching. He laid down on the grass and looked up at the sky, wondering if she was watching him. The pain was more than he could bare, it was too soon, he should have waited a few more days before he came here, he just wanted to connect with her though, it was the only option he thought he had. Pulling himself up off the ground, he dug around in his pockets for Giles' address.

After walking for ten minutes, he came upon the street. It was a well-lit area, with only ten houses or so. Most of the lights were off but the light in the front room of Giles' house was still on, and he stood there, watching the movement. He had a strange pull to look up at the window and as he did, he swore that he saw the reflection of a petite, beautiful blonde woman.

'It couldn't be. Could it?' Angel asked himself as he stared up at the window above the garage at Giles' house. 'No, it's impossible.' He continued to insist to himself. He was seeing things, feeling things because he was confused. She was dead, he confirmed it when he went to the cemetery, and she wasn't standing there watching him. He thought about calling on Giles now but he figured it was in bad taste to come so late. He would have plenty of time to talk to him tomorrow. He took one last glance at the window to see that the figure had disappeared. 'See Angel, you're crazy, there isn't anything there.' He told himself as he walked back to the hotel, he needed to be back before the sun would rise.

The next morning Buffy woke up to find Giles knocking on the door. She called and told him it was alright to come in as she pulled a sweater on over her arms and pulled open the curtains allowing the room to be flooded with the sunlight. The weather was finally starting to cooperate as summer was approaching. Giles opened the door and walked in holding a note. Still hoping that everything from last night had truly been a dream and not in fact reality, she was cautious not to ask about the contents of the note, or even to tell Giles that she had seen Angel outside last night, she didn't want him to think he saw her, although she was almost positive that he had, even though it was impossible, his stare seemed to penetrate her soul.

Noting that Buffy was staring at the note he said, "It's from Angel, your senses were right. He is coming by tonight to talk to me. It doesn't inquire about anything else so it might just be about a problem he is having in Los Angeles or something. Nevertheless, it's imperative that you stay up here so that we can continue to hide you from the world until the timing is right."

Buffy nodded in agreement, it was going to be difficult though, feeling his presence so closely, to know that he is only feet away from her but to actually never reveal herself to him. She needed a friend, she loved Giles, really she did but there were times when she longed to have someone around who she could talk to, not as a daughter talks to her father but as a girl talks to her friends, or if it were Angel, the way a girl talks to a man who she use to love, does love. It gets lonely not having anyone around and she wasn't sure how much longer she could bare this solitary.

After Giles said goodbye and left the house she quickly changed into her workout wear. She would make a small, quick breakfast before hitting the gym for the next two hours to work on releasing the growing energy that was building up. She cracked a few eggs on the rim of the mixing bowl and separated the whites from the yokes, chopped up a few vegetables and mixed it all up before putting it on the stove. Her thoughts turned to finally leaving this place, 'a few more weeks and I can finally be free from here, to actually walk around outside in the fresh air.' Snapping out of her daydream, she put the omelet on her plate and ate silently.

At the same moment

There was pounding on the hotel door that brought Angel out from his sleep. Cursing to himself, angry that for the first time of finally finding sleep he was being disturbed.

"No maid service please!" He shouted angrily at what he thought was hospitality looking to clean the room. The pounding did not cease however and he pulled himself up from the bed and glanced through the peephole. It was Giles. Standing to the side of the door as to not allow the light from the day into the room he opened the door and allowed Giles to enter.

"I'm sorry for waking you." Giles looked around noting that the bed still had an imprint of a body. Angel nodded as if to say it was okay. "I just wanted to make sure that whatever it was, it wasn't an emergency."

"It's great to see you Giles. I just had some questions to ask. Nothing of any solid importance, they are about Buffy. I know it's been over a year but for some reason I can't seem to find closure, no one seems to understand what I'm going through. I thought that maybe you might, you were close to her."

"I don't know if I can help you with that." He wanted to do anything he could to keep Angel away from the house, he was afraid of how it would affect Buffy, being so near to him and being unable to see him or speak to him. He had her best interests in mind, he knew how difficult the past year had been, being so alone with no one to speak to, having to live a lie. It wasn't something that he was proud of doing to her but he needed to find a way to keep her safe until she was strong enough to go back out into the world. He couldn't risk putting her in danger and that's exactly what would have happened if people knew she was still alive.

"Please Giles… If anything I just need someone who can listen to me. To help me sort through this. Everyone back in LA, they have been great, really, but they aren't as connected to her as you are. I just want to talk to someone who knows what I'm going through. You can tell me how I can get over this, you've had to."

Giles looked to the ground, how could he tell someone how to mourn someone he never had to. He took a deep breath. "Alright Angel, alright. Stop by tonight." With that Giles exited the hotel room and Angel lay back down on the bed and somehow, comforted by the fact that Giles would speak to him, found sleep once again.