Chapter 3:
Monday night quickly turned into Tuesday morning, the detectives still sat at their desks trying to find a lead. They were going to visit the young girl in the hospital on Wednesday and they were still trying to find information from the body of her mother, with little success.
Most of the detectives had taken a couple hours rest through the night, but Olivia had thrown herself into the case. Having seen the injuries inflicted on both mother and daughter her heart bleed. Cases were always bad, horrific. But when young children are involved she found it even worse. She knew they had to find the guy that did this and she understood how hard it would be to find any lead so had decided to keep looking through everything, there had to be something, no matter how small, that could help them find something.
The time had travelled quickly and she didn't realise it was morning until she was disturbed by Cragen who appeared from his office.
"Right detectives, you've worked hard through the night. And we all need to be at the top of our game tomorrow, so I want you all to go home, take a break, rest up," he told them.
They all started packing up there things, Olivia placing the notes in her bag so she could look at them while she was at home, maybe she would find something.
Cragen returned to his office and the detectives made their way to the lift. Now she wasn't working, Olivia realised how tired she was, and she craved her bed.
"Don't forget tonight guys," Fin reminded them. "Drinks at the bar for Olivia and Marks two year anniversary of being together."
The others all nodded, knowing he meant the bar they usual went to for Friday night drinks.
"Thanks guys," she said while smiling, although she just wanted to forget about Mark while he was away. Forget everything and just work on the case. Distract herself.
The lift doors opened into the bottom floor and they all got out, making their way over to the door and then to their cars.
When Olivia reached the block of flats she lived in she parked the car and climbed out. Working all through the night had really taken its toll. Normally she would be fine, or at least not this tired so she had no idea why this had made such a big impact. As she made her way to the apartment she shared with Mark she thought through the previous nights. She would be kidding herself if she said she had slept well. In all fairness she hadn't slept a whole night undisturbed for a very long time.
She unlocked their apartment and was relieved to see Mark had already left. If he was still here she would be in trouble; she had spent the whole night out and there would be nothing she could say to make him believe she was at work. When he got back, of course he would teach her a lesson but she could deal with it then. She couldn't now. Not after the previous couple of nights.
After locking the door she kicked off her shoes, hung up her coat and went over to the table to but her bag down. She saw a note, scribbled in Marks almost unreadable writing.
I'm going to find out where you were last night. You didn't come home and you're going to pay you little slut. The phones still disconnected and I'll know if you go out.
Tears sprung to her eyes. She never imagined it to be her. She never imagined herself to be the person in a relationship like this. She saw people like this all the time, she knew what she was looking out for to stay safe. She realised how easy it was to get trapped in a relationship you thought was fine.
He would find out if she went out tonight, she didn't know how but he would. And she would have to pay. But she could see her freedom slipping through her fingers. This could be the last chance she could have to meet up with her colleagues before Mark came home, before it was completely taken.
She left the note and bag on the table and went to the bedroom. She didn't have the energy to change so crawled into bed in the clothes she had worn to work and lead there. Sleep soon took her and she dreamt of how Mark would punish her when he returned.
Olivia twisted and turned in her sleep, thrashing her arms out as if trying to push someone away. If you looked closely you would be able to see they were weak. Weak compared to her normal fights. As if she wasn't strong enough to fight off the demons she was fighting.
"Stop it," she screamed, still asleep.
Tears spilled from her eyes and her screams turned to murmurs, as if giving up. She was sweating, the sheets wet when she finally awoke. She sat bolt upright, out of breath from the fight she had been putting up.
She looked at the clock. It was almost 1pm. She had been asleep for a couple of hours before she had woken.
Still crying, she made her way to the bathroom, peeling off her sweat ridden clothes and putting them in the laundry bin. She climbed into the cool shower, scrubbing her body. Trying to get rid of the feeling. The dirt. His feel. His touch. Just him.
By the time she stepped out she was red. But still not clean. There was nothing she could do. No amount of scrubbing was going to make her clean.
She sat on the bathroom floor and cried. And once she was out of tears she wanted to scream. Let out her rage. Break something. She was angry at him, at herself more though. For letting herself get into this situation. She should have realised. She should have noticed something was wrong. This was her fault.
She reached into the cupboard under the sink and pulled out her razor blades she kept under there.
She took one out if the packet and bought it to her arm. She held it there for a couple of minutes. Waiting.
Eventually she put it back. She couldn't. She was stronger than that. She left the bathroom, pulled on some comfortable pants and a loose t-shirt and got the files she had brought home for the case.
She let her hair dry naturally and pretend what had happened in the bathroom hadn't.
