b Thanks for all your comments, etc. /b

"I ran into Naomi today," Emily whispered, "Invited me to her wedding."

"Are you fucking kidding?" Katie shrieked before twenty identical bob haircuts turned their way. She flipped them off, as Emily simultaneously mouthed "sorry", before turning back to Emily who was hiding behind her fringe.

"Can we talk about this later?" Emily murmured, frustrated with herself for bringing it up in the first place.

"No we cannot, you twat. I deliberately went out of my way to make sure you didn't catch wind of this fucking sham of a wedding. I even had to bride the fucking pervy postman to toss the tacky ass invitation before he even delivered it. And then Naomi thinks she can just traipse back to Bristol and unsuspectingly trick you into going. No. Fuck no," Katie whispered back, now aware of the attention being cast their way.

"I know, Katie, but can we talk about this later? We're at a Homeowner's Association meeting for fucks sake. We already have a demerit for the time you decided to paint our mailbox pink."

"Not my fault these old wankers wouldn't know style if it hit them in the face," Katie fumed.

Emily suppressed a giggle as Gertrude Madison, the head of the association, fixed the twins with a glare. They were a sight, though, the two of them. Katie was fresh from the gym dressed in a hot pink leopard print track suit, her brown hair in a high ponytail showcasing the pair of pearls she insisted on wearing even when she worked out. Emily was a bit more subdued, but still a far cry from the sea of pastel and beige that surrounded them in her ripped jeans and band t-shirt. They were the youngest members of the association, but in Katie's words "If we're going to pay the cunting bill every month, we may as well show up and have a laugh." And by laugh, Emily assumed Katie meant finding every excuse to offend, shock, or anger all the other members.

"And now onto the matter of on the street parking," Gertrude began.

"It needs to be put to a stop! This is a well respected neighborhood, not a parking lot!" Lillith, the twins neighbor, chimed in, staring pointedly at Katie.

"Someone needs to get laid," Katie stage whispered, before fixing Lillith with a patented Fitch glare, causing Lilith to squirm in her seat.

"So are you going to go?" Katie whispered to Emily.

Emily kept her eyes fixed on Gertrude. She studied each wrinkle and freckle on her face, the gray hairs poking out of her frilly, ridiculous hat.

"I don't know," she quipped.

"Surprise of the fucking century," Katie murmured, leaning back in her seat.