Hello, fabulous readers. I love you all! Thank you for your interest in this story, as well as dealing with the unusual paring. I'm glad some of you like it. =)

So, without further ado, here is chapter three:

As soon as mom's car pulled up I snapped my journal closed and shoved it into my bag. I would have time later to think about my strange reaction to Sav's alleged confiscation of my journal entry. For now I had to deal with my mom; we had some major talking to do.

I slipped into the car, and my mom turned to smile at me. My heart broke upon seeing her face; she was just trying so hard to pretend like things were normal, and I wasn't sure if she was doing it for her sake, or for mine, anymore. "How was your day at school, sweetie."

"Fine," I rolled my eyes and the careful half-lie. It was true enough for what she was asking- class had been great. "How…are you holding up?"

"What do you mean?"

I raised my eyebrows at her. Was she in denial, or did she honestly think I would swallow the weak façade that nothing was going on? "I mean things were pretty awkward with you and dad all weekend. Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing's going on, Clare-bear."

I stared at her; it was like she actually believed that nothing was amiss. Her behavior was too weird, and I didn't know how I was supposed to handle this. I was only fifteen for crying out loud. So, instead of trying to reason with my mom I dropped the subject, turning to stare out the window.

There were so many people out there living; so many lives you crossed paths with everyday. Every single one of them had their own problems and things to deal with, but to an outsider their actions were interpreted as the normal carrying on of any human. I had to wonder what people would think of my mom and me if they glanced into the car at any moment during our drive home. They wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary; just a mother and her daughter enjoying a quiet ride together.

As we passed more people walking down the sidewalks I started to guess at their problems: going through a breakup, a cutter, OCD, death in the family…divorce.

I stopped my little 'game' when my mind stopped on that frightening word. It just sounded ominous.

Focusing on other people's problems stopped being therapeutic when you could empathize with said problems.

When we finally arrived home after a silent, awkward drive I hopped out of the car and raced up to my room.

"Clare, do you want anything to eat?" My mom called up to me.

"I'm not hungry!"

I flopped down on my bed, closing my eyes. I took a few deep breaths, and then reached into my bag to pull out my journal. I flipped to the page that had been torn out, leaving small pieces of the page behind. I let my fingers slither across the jagged edges, wondering what had been going through Sav's mind when he decided to keep it. Had he carefully weighed the pros and cons of snatching a piece of my thoughts, or had it been a spur of the moment action?

More importantly, why did I care so much? I should be pissed.

I mean, I had been pissed upon first finding out that Sav had invaded my privacy, but it wasn't like he read any of the serious stuff. Not that it made his actions right, but I was still kind of amazed that he wanted to know what was going through my mind so much that he'd stoop to reading my diary. It was incredibly cliché, rude, and not at all something the Sav I knew would do.

So why did it please me in a completely twisted way?

I knew that if I wanted to, I could confront myself with the answer, but I decided it would be safer to let the questions build up inside me, unanswered. This was unstable territory, and acknowledging it, or even pondering its existence, was dangerous to the relationships I held near and dear to my heart. So I decided to do what any responsible teenage girl would do in my situation:

I ignored my feelings.

I felt much better after putting the blinders up, and I was able to concentrate on my homework. After two dedicated hours of spending much more time than necessary to perfect my homework, my mom called me down for dinner.

"Where's dad?" I asked, taking note that there were only two place settings at the table.

"He's at work," my mom said as nonchalantly as she could muster.

"He's spending a lot of time there lately."

"Yes he is."

"Well, don't you think it's weird?"

"Clare, he is making the money that allows you to live the comfortable lifestyle that you do. I think it's unfair of you to complain."

"And I think it's unfair of you to keep pretending like nothing's wrong!" I snapped, fully aware of the hypocrisy loaded in my statement. The good thing was that my mom had no idea.

"Clare Diana Edwards, go to your room. This discussion is over."

However, instead of me getting up to go to my room, my mom stormed out. I dropped my head into my hands. That could not have gone any worse. Maybe I should stay out of it; pretend right alongside both my parents that nothing had changed. It wasn't like it was my job to singlehandedly deal with, or fix, their relationship problems.

I pushed away from the table, and started to clean everything up. I know it's lame, but cleaning had always helped relax my nerves. It's almost like physically cleaning your environment will allow you to do the same emotionally. And if anyone needed some emotional cleansing it was me.

Back in my room I plopped back onto my bed, wondering if I should just give in and shower so I could try to sleep a little bit. Just as I was gathering my shower things, though, my phone started to buzz on my bedside table. I checked the caller ID before answering.

"Hey, Alli."

"Hello, my dearest friend. How are you on this beautiful afternoon?"

"Why are you in such a good mood," I asked, avoiding the question.

"I just got off the phone with Drew," Alli admitted. "I can't wait for you to meet him Clare. I have a really good feeling about this one."

"And why is that?"

Alli launched into a rant, and I settled back in my bed, listening. Sometimes it was convenient to have a best friend that loved to talk more than anything. If I wasn't in the mood to have a real conversation, but didn't want to be rude by ignoring Alli, I could usually find a way to get her monologuing. This way, I could be there for her and not have to torture myself at the same time. It was a win-win.

In the middle of Alli's rant, she was interrupted by someone coming into her room. After a brief exchange she refocused on me. "Sorry about that."

"Not a problem. Who was that, anyway?"

"It was Sav. He was going for a walk and wanted to know if I wanted to join him. I could tell he didn't really want me to go, though. He was just asking to be nice. He's been moping around here all afternoon. I asked him what was wrong, but he wouldn't tell me. If I had to guess he had another run-in with Anya today. He always gets depressed when they fight, or whatever it is that they do exactly."

Alli effortlessly flowed back into her Drew tangent, but my mind stayed focused on what she had said about Sav. Could it be possible that he was moping around because I had lost my temper with him earlier today? My heart fluttered at the thought that I might have the same effect on Sav that Anya does, but I quickly pushed it aside.

After Alli had finished, and we had said our goodbyes, I pulled my journal back out. I needed to write; to get some of the emotions that had built up inside me out onto a page. However, I couldn't write in coherent thoughts, so instead I just described physically what I was feeling.

When I was done, I showered and crawled into bed, begging sleep to come. It didn't though, so I popped a movie into my laptop, retrieved my ear buds, and lost myself in other people's lives and stories.

Around four thirty sleep finally came around to visit me, and I gladly gave into it, noting that I was going to need some coffee in a few hours in order to make it through the school day.

Two hours later my alarm pierced through my meaningless dreams, and I dragged myself out of bed. After I had dressed, and got one and a half cups of coffee into my system, I felt much better. I informed my mom that I would be riding my bike to school, and then I left the house.

I arrived at Degrassi about forty minutes before the first bell was going to ring, so I sat down at the picnic tables. I closed my eyes, and tilted my face toward the sun, trying to soak up as much as possible.

"I hope you have sunscreen. With skin as fair as yours I bet you burn easily."

"I don't actually, but thanks for your concern."

"Can we talk?" Sav asked, waiting for permission to join me at the table.

"I don't see any reason why not," I told him carefully, gesturing for him to have a seat across from me.

"I am so, so sorry about what I did. It was rude, and I really didn't mean to upset you, Clare. Let me make it up to you, please?"

"It was rude, but I've kind of already forgiven you. I'll admit I may have overreacted a tad." I thought about asking him if he really did take my emotions entry, but I decided I didn't really want a confirmation. It was much easier to leave it open ended.

"No, you acted reasonably. That was a major invasion of your privacy. You know what they say…curiosity killed the cat. Or the Sav."

I laughed, the last traces of anger fading away. It probably should have bothered me that I forgave him so easily, but I never was one to hold a grudge. At least, that's what I told myself to justify my quick forgiveness. "I've actually never heard that version before, but I think I like it better."

"So, you'll let me make it up to you?"

"I don't think that's really necessary."

"Believe me, it is. Let's hang out tonight…as friends."

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as he added the last part. He was probably just establishing that we were now friends instead of just connected by Alli…yeah, that was it. "Okay. I don't exactly have anything going on. What do you want to do?"

"I'll think of something. I'll come by your house to pick you up at 4:30; sound good?"

I nodded and Sav got up from the table, heading toward the school. I watched him go, the blush on my cheeks still intact.

"I've seen that stare before; where's the guy, Clare-bear?"

Alli came up from behind me, making me jump. The blush on my face deepened, and I was sure I looked like a tomato. I turned to see Alli approaching. She was attached to Drew's arm, and they both sat down across from me where seconds ago Sav had been sitting.

"There is no guy, Alli. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Fine we'll talk about it later." She winked at me.

"Or we could clear things up now- I was talking to Sav. We're going to hang out tonight. So, I remain by my previous assertion, there is no guy."

Alli's eyebrows furrowed. "Oooookaayyy…maybe we should talk later, anyway. But right now there is someone I want you to meet. Drew this Clare; Clare, Drew."

"It's nice to meet you," I told him, extending my hand. I saw Alli roll her eyes, and I mentally scolded myself. I was just so bad at first impressions; I treated everyone like a business partner, becoming overly formal.

Thankfully, Drew didn't seem fazed. "You too," he smiled at me, giving my hand a quick shake. "I've heard a lot about you."

"I'm sure you've heard a lot about everyone Alli knows."

Drew laughed loudly. "Yeah, but that's one of the things I like about her so much; you always know what's on her mind. Besides, you can tell she really cares about her friends and family by the way she talks about them." Alli and Drew sat there staring into each other's eyes, and I started to feel extremely awkward.

"Yeah, she's a keeper alright," I cleared my throat, but they seemed oblivious to the outside world. A meteor could have fallen from the sky, landing right next to the picnic table, and they probably wouldn't have noticed. "Um, okay then, I am going to go to my locker. You two have fun."

I practically ran away from the picnic table, desperate to escape the awkwardness.

My morning classes passed by quickly- especially English. I always found myself feeling winded after English ends because it always seems so short. Ms. Dawes is just so passionate about the language, and literature, that I am immediately enthralled by her opinions and interpretations. I wish the entire school day could be devoted to the subject.

At lunch I was sitting at Alli's and my regular table when Alli came up and slammed her tray down. "So…you're hanging out with Sav today…without me?"

"Yes?"

"Why?" Alli sounded so appalled that I almost laughed. Almost.

"Because Sav and I our friends."

"Since when? What the hell happened this weekend?"

A light blush rose to my face as I thought back to the other night when we connected; I hoped Alli didn't notice. "We talked. He was upset, I offered words of condolence, and our friendship was established. I really don't think it's that weird, but if it makes you uncomfortable I'll tell him I can't hang out today."

"No, I don't want you to do that. It would hurt his feelings! I'll just have to…get used to the idea, you know?"

"Yeah, I totally understand. It's kind of weird for me, too, if I'm being honest."

Suddenly Alli's face clouded over. "You are just friends, right?"

"Ew, Alli, of course." My stomach lurched like it did every time I told a lie, but I wasn't lying; Sav and I were just friends. Maybe I was just hungry. I grabbed the granola bar from my brown bag lunch and started to nibble on it.

"Okay, good. So, what did you think of Drew?"

Alli switched gears so fast that I felt kind of dizzy. "Huh? Oh, yeah, he seems to really like you." That was the best I could do…it wasn't like I really had the chance to talk to the guy. Alli and he pretty much had eye sex in front of me, totally ignoring my presence.

"I know, right? He's so amazing. I can't wait for our date…"

I sighed, composing my face into a mask of attention. I was feeling drained, and didn't really have the energy to keep up with another Alli rant. Thankfully, Alli didn't need much encouragement to keep talking; she just did, so her jabber filled the rest of our lunch period.

My afternoon classes went by with the same speed as the morning, and school was over before I knew it. I rode my bike home slowly, wondering where Sav was going to take me this afternoon. Just thinking about spending time alone with him made my heart do strange little flops of anticipation, but I wrote it off as anxiety of the unknown.

When I finally arrived home, I immediately found my mom in the kitchen.

"I'm hanging out with a friend in an hour. That's okay, right?"

My mom glanced up at me, her eyes tired. "Sure, honey. You know your curfew."

I nodded, slowly backing out of the room. My mom and I still hadn't talked about what had happened at dinner the night before, and it was still the giant elephant in the room. Since then we had been overly formal to each other, only talking when absolutely necessary. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but neither of us really wanted to discuss what had happened. Apparently, for my mom, acknowledgement meant making the problem real. If she wanted to live in her fantasy world, so be it. Who was I to stop her?

I went up to my room to work on the little homework that I had before Sav came to get me. Then, at four thirty on the dot my phone started to buzz, signaling that I had a text message.

It was from Sav: 'I'm waiting outside your house. ;)'

I immediately sprung off my bed and grabbed my bag. "I'm leaving," I called as I ran down the stairs, hoping my mom heard me…wherever she was.

Once I was outside I hesitated, eyeing Sav's car. He was sitting inside, his head bobbing slightly to whatever music he had playing. The sight made me smile, and I slowly approached the car, pausing briefly before climbing in.

"Good afternoon," I greeted him.

"Clare…drop the formalities. It's okay to relax."

"I am relaxed."

"The why are your hands clenched into fists?"

I looked down in my lap where my hands were, indeed, balled up in fists. I blushed, unclenching them, and pulled my seatbelt on; I decided not to grace his question with a spoken answer. Of course, though, Sav noticed my adjustment and chuckled smugly.

"So, where are we going?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"You'll see when we get there." A huge smile spread across his face, and I couldn't help but notice that his white teeth practically glowed against his tan skin. It was a striking contrast, but it made me notice that Sav was kind of, really handsome. "Do I have something on my face or something?" Sav asked self-consciously, breaking my train of thought and making me blush deeper.

"Um, what? No…sorry."

"You okay there, Clare-bear?"

"Never better; let's get this party started."

"My pleasure," Sav put the car into gear and pulled away from my curb. I took a few deep breaths to center myself. So far, this had not gotten off to a good start. I really needed to control myself better.

A few silent, comfortable moments later Sav pulled into the parking lot of my favorite bookstore-coffeehouse, Chapters. I was pleasantly surprised that Sav had chosen this spot as our first hang out.

"Judging by that smile on your face, is it safe to assume that I did good?"

"Better than good…this is perfect."

"You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that. I mean, I figured you would enjoy yourself at a bookstore, but I didn't know if it was weird that I brought you here to hang out."

"It's not weird at all. I actually really need some new reading material. This is great!" I swiftly leaned in and planted a kiss on his cheek before my thoughts caught up with my actions. I quickly shifted so I was as far away from him as possible in the small space of the car.

"Wow…"

"Can we pretend that didn't happen?" I asked quietly.

"But it did," Sav smiled devilishly.

"Sav, please, I'm serious."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best."

'No shit,' I thought, surprising myself even further. It wasn't like I never swore, but I definitely reserved foul language for extreme situations.

We both got out of the car, walked across the parking lot, and Sav held the store's door open for me. I walked in and took a deep breath, reveling in the think scent of paper and coffee. If given the opportunity, I would live in the bookstore.

"What first?" Sav asked, looking around. I thought for a moment, wondering what we could do. I didn't usually come to shop for books with company…

Then, I was struck with the best idea. "Follow me," I said excitedly. I reached out and grabbed Sav's hand, which was warm and rough, pulling him through the shelves till we reached my favorite spot in the entire store. It was technically meant for young children, but, thankfully, it was empty at the moment. The purple carpeted platform was covered in various bean bag chairs, and it was ideal for curling up with a good book. "Stay here," I ordered him, watching him choose a chair to lounge in before I ran off into the store.

It took me a full ten minutes, but I finally decided on what books to bring back to him. With Shel Silverstien's Where the Sidewalk Ends, The Giving Tree, and A Light in the Attic tucked under my arm I made my way back to the bean bag chairs.

"I was about to come search for you. I thought maybe you ran away."

"Never; I just get kind of lost in the books. But, I did find the perfect books for us to read out loud to each other! Call me a dork, but Shel will forever be my favorite poet."

I dropped the books in Sav's lap, and pulled a bean bag chair up next to his. I settled myself down into the cushion and immediately felt myself relax. I just couldn't be tense in my sanctuary. All my worries about spending time alone with Sav, and my major slips earlier, fell away, and I was in my personal heaven.

"I love Shel," Sav said, visibly relaxing as well as he handed me The Giving Tree, "Entertain me, wench." I narrowed my eyes at him, waiting for him to alter his request. "Oh, sorry. I mean: Please entertain me, most honorable Pancake Queen."

"That's better," I chuckled, and then launched into my rendering of Shel's classic tale. I used different voices for the tree and the boy, and Sav loved it. I practically had him in stitches until the tale grew more serious. By the end Sav was just watching me in amazement, but it didn't make me self-conscious as it normally would have. Instead, his attention fueled my performance, and I was enjoying myself immensely.

"That was great. Encore, Encore," Sav requested, a permanent grin plastered on his face.

"No, no, it's definitely your turn to do some reading. How about we go back and forth reading poems from one of the anthologies?"

"Sounds wonderful; which one suits your fancy?"

I loved both of the compilations, but I really had a soft spot for Where the Sidewalk Ends, so I grabbed it and handed it to Sav. "You start."

Sav predictably started with the first poem, reading it as suspenseful as he could manage, before passing the book to me. I read one of my favorites: The Crocodile and Dentist, and passed it back to Sav. And so it went for several hours until we had made our way through both books entirely. My sides we in agony by the time we finished; I couldn't remember the last time I had as much fun, or laughed so much. All my troubles had fallen away as I sat with Sav reading the fun, innocent poetry of my childhood. The best part was Sav seemed to be enjoying himself every bit as much as I. I didn't know many people who would have indulged me in reading poetry by way of hanging out, but Sav hadn't even hesitated.

The thought made me melt a little.

"That was the best. Did I not tell you it was necessary for me to make up reading your journal to you?"

"You did, and you were right. I forgive you one hundred percent."

"So…what next; coffee?"

"I could definitely use some caffeine right now," I agreed.

Sav effortlessly escaped the clutches of his bean bag chair, but I was struggling to get up. It was like the thing had molded itself to the shape of my butt, making it impossible for me to crawl out of it.

"Want some help there?" Sav extended his hand, noticing my struggle. I flushed and grabbed hold of his hand once more. With one solid yank Sav had me out of the bean bag chair, but my momentum didn't stop there. I slammed right into Sav's chest, almost knocking him over. Thankfully Sav was able to stabilize himself; and me by grabbing hold of my waist.

I looked up into his eyes and I felt my face start to blaze once more. "Um, thanks."

"No problem," Sav whispered, his hands lingering before pulling away completely. I cleared my throat and shook my head as if to physically clear my thoughts. Everything had been going so well, too.

We slowly started to make our way to the coffee shop, making sure we had ample space between us to avoid anymore unnecessary contact, when I walked smack into someone who seemed to literally come out of nowhere.

As fate would have it that someone was Anya, and she had been rushing down the aisle at such a fast speed, that I hadn't seen her in time to stop myself before running into her.

Can you say awkward?

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Anya said, bending down to gather the books she had obviously just purchased. I joined her, grabbing a book that had traveled a couple feet. I wasn't trying to be nosy, but I caught a glimpse of the title as I stood up to hand it to her: "Dealing with Cancer"

I genuinely hoped everything was okay.

"It totally wasn't your fault. This one's on me."

Anya's sincere smile faded as she realized who was standing beside me. I looked back and forth between Sav and Anya- their faces frozen in an identical mask of shock and hurt.

I was standing right in the middle of them, so I took a giant step out of the way to give them some space. However, for reasons unknown to myself, I hung close by so that I could still hear everything they were saying. It was probably rude of me, and definitely eavesdropping, but I could make my feet move any further away.

"How's everything going?" Sav was the first to break the stretch of astonished silence.

"It's been better." Anya's voice cracked as she spoke.

"What's wrong? Is there anything I can do?" Sav took a step toward Anya, closing the space between them. His concern was instant and authentic. And it made anger simmer in the pit of my stomach.

"I'd rather not talk about it, but thank you for your concern."

Sav rested his hand on Anya's arm, and the fire in my stomach growled. "If you ever do need to talk, I'm here."

Anya swiped a small tear off her cheek and started to retreat. "I know. Thanks. I have to get going, though. It was…nice to see you. I hope everything is well."

"Bye," Sav whispered as Anya ran off.

I started to approach him again. "Is everything okay?" I asked as if I hadn't been present for the entire thing. Not that Sav had noticed that I had stuck around- when Anya was in the room the rest of the world fell away.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Great…so coffee?"

"If you're still up for it…"

"I'm always up for coffee!" Sav attempted to smile, but it came out mangled, forced.

We ordered and sat down at a table, but neither of us attempted conversation. We were both so lost in thought: Sav about Anya, and me about Sav…and Anya.

There was no doubt that I would have been better off had I slipped away, and gave them so real privacy to talk. Because if I had I wouldn't be facing the mess inside me head at the moment.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, that fire I had felt simmering in my stomach a few minutes earlier had been jealousy. But what did I have to be jealous about? Sav and I were friends. Maybe I had been jealous of the fact that Sav and Anya could hold a civil conversation while KC and I couldn't even manage to look each other in the eye.

But I knew that wasn't the real reason.

It was obvious that Sav wasn't over Anya.

And I was bothered by that on a level that wasn't conducive to friendship.

So, quick note: I totally did research to find bookstores in Toronto (I live in the US, and I wanted it to be accurate), so Chapters is a real place. I swear.

Anyway, I hope you all like the chapter. Let me know what you thought? =)

I'll have the next one up ASAP. I wouldn't want to leave you hanging for too long.

As always, thank you so much for reading. You guys are always way kind to me, and your words of encouragement are touching. I love you all.