Alaina sighed as she paced the small length of the hotel room once more. Ever since Randy had told her that they were going to dinner with John and Maria that night she hadn't been able to sit still. Whenever she sat her legs screamed at her to get up and move. Her heart beat hard inside her chest until she was certain that it was going to burst right out of her. Nothing had served to calm her down. Alaina had spent the entire afternoon in the gym, and even though all of her limbs felt like spaghetti and she had stopped to vomit before going at it once again, she was still pacing back and forth.
Nothing about the night seemed right to her. How was she supposed to go to dinner and have anything but a terrible time watching John and Maria snuggle up next to each other? And how exactly was she supposed to pull off the little stunt of singing that Randy wanted her to do? Especially when all she could feel was the urge for her stomach to turn itself inside out and fly up and out of her throat.
The knock at the door sent Alaina's heart racing and her hands began to shake as she reached for the door handle to open the door. Nothing would be able to make her any more comfortable or ready for the night in any way.
Pulling it open to reveal a very relaxed Randy Orton Alaina gave a sigh of relief and let him in.
"I thought you would be showing up with John or something," she confessed looking at him wringing her hands nervously.
"He and Maria are meeting us at the bar. Are you ready to go?"
Alaina shook her head and resumed her pacing once more. "How can I be ready to go Randy? I've been thinking about this all day, and I know you didn't tell me earlier because I would find some way to get out of it or obsess over it but I can't do it. I simply cannot do it. You want me to sit down and act happy and relaxed and I can't do that. I mean, you had to drag me out of the gym to shower and get ready. I was in that place for nearly five hours and I still can't sit still."
Randy grabbed Alaina gently by the shoulders and gave her a reassuring smile. "Trust me Ally, I don't think that you are going to have to do much work. I told John you agreed to have dinner and he nearly jumped through the ceiling while celebrating, that's how happy he was. He wants to spend time with you."
Alaina finally gave in to the need to sit and rest her tired body and sank down onto her bed. Tears pooled in her eyes as she stared down at the floor. "Randall this has nothing to do with whether or not I want to see John again. I want to see John all day every day. I want to wake up next to him and go to sleep knowing that he's right next to me. I want to spend time with him. But how can I look at him and not feel heartbroken? How can I sit across the table from him and talk to him as if nothing has ever happened between us, because I'm pretty certain that Maria knows nothing about John and me. How am I supposed to do this Randy?"
Randy sat on the bed next to Alaina. He was surprised to say the least by her sudden reaction to the whole dinner idea. He knew that she would have a slightly difficult time going through with his plan but he hadn't expected Alaina to be this conflicted about all of it.
"I guess I underestimated your feelings for him huh?" he asked as he placed a comforting arm around her. "I just thought that after all these months it might be slightly easier to see him and talk to him."
Alaina leaned back and put her head on Randy's shoulder. "Seeing him again just brings up everything that I felt for him, everything that went unresolved and everything that I wish I had with him right at this moment. How is it that I finally let go of things with Joe to work on things with John only to see that he's happily with another woman?"
"Life sucks and screws us all over at one point or another."
Alaina laughed and shook her head. "Always the eternal optimist, Randall. How does Sam put up with you?"
Randy chuckled and shrugged his large shoulders. "She's an angel, that's the only thing that I can think of that explains it."
Alaina sighed and patted Randy's large thigh. "Alright enough of the sappy stuff, I know you're getting sick of it. Let's get out of here and I promise I will be on my very best behavior."
Randy held Alaina back a moment as she tried to stand up from the bed. "Hey, I know that this is going to be incredibly hard for you so I'm thanking you in advance for doing this for me. And I have one more request. Focus on me. You don't have to look at John or talk to John if you don't want to. You just keep those pretty brown eyes on me and I'll walk you through the whole evening."
Alaina smiled and placed a small kiss on Randy's lips. "Thank you."
Randy gave her a quick hug and stood up, pulling Alaina up with her. "Ok now let's go have some fun."
Alaina's nervous twitching on got worse as she walked in the bar to find John relaxed in his seat with Maria pulled close by his side. The loving eyes that Maria was giving John made it obvious to anyone around that the two were desperately in love. She gave a small smile as she felt Randy give her hand a gentle squeeze.
John stood up as he saw Randy and Alaina approaching hand in hand. The familiar tinge of jealous began to stir in the pit of his stomach as he saw the reassuring smiles and gentle actions pass between the two. He knew that Randy would never make a move on Alaina but it didn't change anything. Randy was doing what John was supposed to be doing. Alaina should be comfortable around him, not looking to hang on to Randy for support.
"Hi guys, glad that you decided to come," John greeted as they reached the table. He shook hands with Randy and gave an uncertain smile at Alaina resisting the strong urge to wrap her up in his arms. He turned to Maria and gently pulled her up. "Maria this is my very good friend Alaina, Al this is Maria."
Alaina smiled and extended her hand to Maria. "It's nice to meet you."
"It's so nice to meet you too. John had said so much about you. He practically talked all night long about you when he found out that we would all be going out to dinner together."
Alaina gave a shocked look as she stared at Maria and how excited the tall, leggy brunette seemed to be about meeting her. "Well John and I had a bit of fun when we were travelling together. He's a great friend," Alaina finally responded feigning the excitement and pleasure of being at dinner with them.
"Why don't we sit down and get some drinks huh?" Randy said kindly pulling Alaina's hand out of Maria's and sitting her down right across from John. "You seemed kind of frozen there," he whispered to Alaina as he leaned back in his chair and made himself comfortable.
Alaina shrugged and put on a smile as she leaned back in her chair as well.
"So what exactly is this place?" Alaina asked breaking the silence that was settling over the quartet.
"A little place that I discovered with Sam not too long ago, while she was travelling with me. It's a piano bar. Really relaxed and quaint, and the best part is that tonight is karaoke night. It's not as bad or cheesy as some other karaoke bars, it's a lot of fun and some really cool talented people have some fun singing."
Alaina looked at Randy's mischievous expression and immediately shook her head. "Oh no Randall, it is not happening, don't you even think about it."
"What? I didn't say anything at all," Randy grinned and winked at Alaina.
"No," she said firmly one more time crossing her arms over her chest and shaking her head for emphasis.
Maria looked on amused and bumped John's shoulder. "Can you make out what they're talking about?"
John waited until Alaina finally met his eyes and smiled. "Yes I can. Randy here wants Alaina to get up there and sing, and Alaina suffering from a crippling case of stage fright is refusing."
Maria turned to look at Alaina and gave a kind smile. "Alaina you sing?"
"It's a hobby, an amusement, nothing that would ever get me paid or start up a career," Alaina answered looking between Randy and John. "I'm nothing special; Randy is just trying to embarrass me."
John leaned forward and stared intently at Alaina. "You know that isn't true. You could make it a career and a successful one at that if you really wanted to."
Maria kept her smile on her face as she watched John move in closer to Alaina. The look of admiration on his face was making Maria uncomfortable. "John, honey, what do you say you get us a couple of drinks?"
John nodded at Maria's request but didn't move. He leaned in a bit closer to Alaina and kept her eyes locked with his. "I miss your voice Al, you have to sing, sing for me," he whispered before he stood up and smiled at Maria. "What would you like baby?"
Alaina cleared her throat and stood up right after John. "I'm going to head to the bathroom really quick. I'll be right back," she said looking and Randy as she forced a smile while Maria gave her drink order to John.
Randy grabbed her hand and looked up at her misty eyes. "Ally."
"I'm fine, I just need to use the bathroom, I promise."
Randy watched as Alaina sped off to the bathroom and dropped his head. He knew that it would be hard for Alaina, he didn't think though that it would affect her this much.
"Randy," Maria called his name dropping the perky tone from her voice. She watched as Randy rounded his eyes on her. "What is going on between those two?"
"I don't know what you're talking about Maria."
Maria leaned forward and checked to make sure that John was still sitting at the bar getting their drinks. "Don't play stupid with me Randy. What is going on between Alaina and John? I want the truth and you're going to give it to me."
Randy gave Maria a steely glare and leaned forward until the two were practically nose to nose. "Honey I know how you can be when you think someone is trying to move in on your man and I applaud it, I really do, I think it's great, but you need to pull your claws in and rethink that attitude of yours because I am not going to sit here and take it. Now don't you think you'd know if John had something going on behind your back? And have you ever seen Alaina around before now? John and Alaina are friends and I suggest you leave it alone before you upset John over your petty jealousy."
"Petty jealousy? Did you see how they were looking at each other?"
Randy leaned back in his chair and smirked at Maria. "He's in your bed at night isn't he? Let it go."
Maria huffed and sat back in her chair. She knew that she should listen to Randy, but something didn't sit right with her. She needed the truth and it seemed like Randy wasn't telling the truth.
John and Alaina came back at the same time and smiled at each other as they sat back in their seats. The two wanted to say so much to each other but couldn't decide where to start.
"How is Joe?" John finally asked trying to break the ice.
Alaina looked up at John and tried to swallow the pain that she felt both at staring at John and thinking about her split from Joe. "He's doing well. We're both on the road at the same time actually. He's at another branch of his company doing work and I'm out here with Randy. I talked to him just yesterday and he's having a blast."
"What about you? You are enjoying your visit with us?" John asked hopeful that she wouldn't close off on him like she had before.
"Uh so far I am. Randall has been a wonderful host. He calls Sam every night, gives us girls a chance to gang up on him and we talk and catch up on our days and call it a night. It's been just what I need."
"So Sam knows about you? She knows that the two of you hang out like this?" Maria asked not bothering to put on any sort of niceties.
Alaina looked over at Maria slightly confused by her change of attitude so quickly and slowly nodded her head. "Of course she does, why wouldn't she?"
"I introduced them over the summer. They get along real well," Randy said putting an edge in his voice to let the whole table know that he was displeased with the implications Maria was beginning to throw out.
Maria shrugged and looked at Randy innocently. "I'm sorry Randy, I just know how you are with women. It just wouldn't surprise me if the two didn't know about each other."
Alaina looked over at Maria and began laughing. She needed a way to release the tension and she knew no other way than to laugh at the ludicrous behavior that Maria was exhibiting.
"Maria, I don't know what you're playing at but Sam and Randy have a wonderful relationship that you probably couldn't touch. They love each other more than any other couple I've yet to see and I wish that one day I could have that type of love," she said calmly, quickly cutting her eyes to John to see his expression. "I'm not some slut, or a two timing whore. You don't want to trust your man that is all your business and your prerogative. Just don't sit there and try to transfer it over here. Now, if no one minds let's get through this dinner without any more problems."
Randy looked on with a smirk and squeezed Alaina's leg underneath the table. "That's my girl."
"Al I'm sure that Maria didn't mean to offend you or Randy with her questions and comments. She's a curious woman, that's all."
Alaina looked up at John and nodded her head. "Of course John, but curiosity did kill the cat."
Randy smirked as Alaina stared intently at her menu. She wouldn't get outright angry, but she sure would let everyone at the table know that she was ready for a fight if one were to present itself.
John lowered his head to hide his smile at her comment before turning back to Maria who was trying very hard to conceal the angry pout that was playing on her face.
"See baby, we're all friends here. Pick out whatever you'd like to eat and I'll flag down a waiter," John said in an overly sweet tone placing a kiss to the side of her head.
Maria snuggled closely into John's side and smiled up at him. "Ok baby, whatever you say."
Alaina turned and looked at Randy silently pleading with him to give her some form of distraction from Maria who was making a very pointed, very public display of kissing and hugging John.
"You know what I just remembered Ally," Randy said giving her a reassuring smile. "You remember when we went to the beach with Sam that one weekend. It ended up being a horrible day."
Alaina laughed and nodded her head. "Yeah, you got bit by that random stray crab."
"Hey don't laugh that freaking hurt."
"Randall I warned you that the further you swim out the more likely you are to find a lost crab. It isn't the first time that I've heard of it happening you know. But you just had to be the strong athletic man and show off. Of course until you were whining about how much the bite hurt."
"And then it started raining out of nowhere and we all had to drive back to your place soaking wet."
"I don't know how Sam put up with all of your whining. I could at least walk away from you, but you had to follow Sam around like a lost puppy."
"Until you're yelling my name to go a kill a spider!"
"Hey, they are big and nasty and I hate them. I have arachnophobia and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Besides that thing was huge and practically hissed at me."
Randy laughed and shook his head. "No honey, you were hissing at the spider claiming it was trying to kill you."
John looked on as Randy and Alaina continued to reminisce about the numerous times that they had visited with each other. He wanted to be angry, he wanted to be hurt that he and Alaina weren't doing the same thing but somehow he couldn't. Something stopped him from being that way as he watched Alaina's eyes light up and her face break out in a large smile. This was what he wanted to see, what he was waiting for. She was finally starting to loosen up and show signs of who she was while she was on the road with John.
"John will you please tell Ally that she screams like a little baby any time she is around bugs?" Randy asked turning to John to include him in the conversation.
"Don't you dare tell him that John, you know that it isn't true."
John laughed and shook his head. "Sorry Al, I'm afraid that it is true. And since when do you let people call you Ally?"
Alaina gave a disgusted sigh and tried her best to keep a straight face as she gave Randy an icy glare. "I do hate that name. I keep telling him not to use it but he insists on being the only one allowed to call me Ally."
"And you let this big fool get away with it?" John asked skeptically.
"I make him pay for it in different ways. Don't you Randall?"
John laughed and sat back in his chair, for the first time during the night fully at ease. And as the four all ordered something to eat and waited for their meals it was a strange balance of politeness and true friendliness that carried them through the night. They treaded a thin line of overtly friendly and keeping on airs of maintaining a respectable distance between the two couples sitting at the table. And as Randy had promised whenever it got to be too much for Alaina he gave her hand or thigh a reassuring squeeze and steered the conversation into a more comfortable direction.
"Ally, aren't you going to eat? You've barely touched your food," Randy commented as he looked at the plate that was barely touched sitting in front of Alaina.
Alaina shrugged and gave a wobbly smile. "I guess being in the gym all day kind of wore me out. I don't have much of an appetite tonight."
"Al," John looked at Alaina seriously. "When was the last time that you ate?"
Alaina shrugged. "Probably this morning. I'm fine. Can we talk about something else?" She said fully aware the irritability in her voice was more than the situation warranted. Not that it was something that bothered Alaina. She was sick of people hassling her about eating or how much weight she had lost in the recent months.
"There's only one other thing that I am willing to talk about," Randy said fully turning to Alaina understanding that talking about her eating would only turn into a fight. "You get up there and sing."
Alaina looked at Randy and shook her head once more. "I already said no Randy. Besides no one else is going up there."
Randy looked at his watch and smirked. "That's because karaoke night doesn't start for another ten minutes. But when it does, you Ally, are going up there."
"Randy I already told you that I'm not going to do it."
John smiled at Alaina and took her hand. He had avoided physical contact for most of the night for fear of what Maria would think and how he would feel after the night was over. The small gesture of holding her hand was bringing a soft, settling sensation to John that he hadn't felt since he walked out of Alaina's office. It felt right to him, it felt like home, and it scared and elated John all at the same time.
"You have an amazing voice and Randy and I are not letting up until you go up there and sing," he said softly staring into Alaina's eyes. He knew that she would give in to him. She would go down fighting all the way, but she would give in. She always had.
"I don't care what you think about my voice I'm not doing it. The two of you are two of the sweetest people to me, and I do not doubt that you two are indeed exaggerating the ability of my singing voice."
Alaina smiled at John and rubbed her thumb over the palm of his hand thoroughly enjoying the fact that she was once more sitting with John, enjoying his company and feeling as if every else in the restaurant were slowly fading away. Her resolve was weakening and John knew it. Her inability to resist him was still there just as it was six months ago.
Maria grabbed onto John's arm and pulled it back until he was no longer holding Alaina's hand. Talking about old times was one thing, but watching him hold another woman's hand and have a look of longing was another all together. And it was one that Maria was not going to let happen, at least not in her presence.
"John baby don't badger the poor woman. She's already said no to both you and Randy. And like she said, with the two of you exaggerating it'll only serve to embarrass her."
John pulled Maria's hand off his arm and leveled her with a hard look. "What are you trying to do tonight?" he asked her finally coming to the end of his tolerance for Maria's snide comments and backhanded compliments.
Maria looked at John shocked and slightly hurt as Alaina and Randy looked on with amusement.
"I'm not trying to do anything John. I was just saying that you are pushing her to do something that she doesn't want to do."
"And we'd embarrass her? You are sitting here implying that she has no talent, anyone can see that. You barely know this woman and you're throwing every catty remark in the book at her."
Maria huffed and sat back in her chair none too pleased with how the evening was progressing. She fully intended to have this conversation with John in the privacy of their hotel room where if she began to work on John's nerves and pushed too far she would easily be able to seduce him and save the fight for another day. She didn't count on John calling her out at the table. He had never done that before with her.
"Well you seem to know her a little too well if you ask me," she bit out avoiding looking at the other three occupants at the table.
"Let's get this straight honey, I'm not asking you so stop making a scene about it," John said harshly before turning back to Alaina and Randy. "So are you going to sing Al?"
Randy smiled and winked at John before leaning on Alaina's chair and whispering in her ear. "I told you this was part of the plan. Now get your butt up there."
Alaina sighed and looked between John and Randy. She knew that there was no way out of it, and the only thing left to do was sing. She nodded and her head and sat back in her chair. "Fine, I'll do it, but I'm not going to be the first one up there."
Randy gave John a satisfied smile and laid a gentle kiss on Alaina's temple. "You'll be great honey."
John nodded his head in agreement. "It'll be wonderful."
Alaina looked around nervously and let her eyes settle on Maria who looked about ready to cry as she tried to ignore the rest of the table. She sighed and stood up. "Maria, can we talk for a second?" She gave a kind smile as Maria looked at Alaina in surprise. "It'll be real quick I promise."
Maria nodded and stood up to follow Alaina to the bar. She took slow deep breaths to steady her heartbeat. Maria was a highly trained athlete that knew how to protect herself without a problem. The nervousness that was passing through her was something that she hadn't experienced in a long time.
Alaina turned to the woman beside her as she saw Maria sank into the bar stool next to her.
"This is about John isn't it?" Alaina asked not allowing Maria a chance to speak. "You aren't comfortable with me around John."
Maria shook her head and lowered it a bit. She knew that her behavior during the night was not the best but something inside of her simply would not allow her to be nice to Alaina.
"No, it isn't that. I was just expecting the two of you to be semi-friendly. I was thinking that it wouldn't be a big deal when he saw you because the two of you never had feelings for each other, but that isn't true is it? I'm not comfortable with not knowing the truth."
Alaina cleared her throat and nodded. "You are right, you shouldn't be comfortable not knowing the truth, and you deserve to know it. It's also something that you need to talk to John about. I just want you to know that there is nothing between John and I. You have nothing to worry about—he's with the right woman."
"Tell me the truth Alaina, that's all that I want. Do you have feelings for John?"
Alaina swallowed hard wanting to scream out yes and that she belonged with John more than Maria. She wanted to tell Maria just how in love she and John were. The problem was that she wasn't sure it was true anymore. John sat with Maria, hugging and kissing her, defending her for most of the night. It killed Alaina to watch, and yet John did it. John had made his choice just as she had made hers. They weren't in love, they weren't together, and they weren't going to be any time soon.
"I did, at one point, but I made a choice and I stand by it. I just wanted to let you know that you have nothing to worry about. I'm not here to take John or anyone else. I'm only here to visit some friends," Alaina finished as she stood and walked back to the table effectively ending her conversation with Maria.
John and Randy both stood as Alaina made her way back to her chair. She tried her best to hide the fact that she was shaking, and that the short run in with Maria had left her heart aching and her head spinning.
"What's wrong Ally?" Randy asked as he leaned in to let her rest her head on his shoulder.
"Nothing is wrong Randall. I think it's time that I go up there and sing. But only on one condition, I'm doing it my way, and I'm playing it myself."
Randy nodded and stood up walking Alaina over to the piano. He talked to the band and kindly dismissed them all for the one song as Alaina made herself comfortable on the piano bench.
"Tell him how you feel baby," Randy told her before making his way back to the table.
Alaina sighed and nodded her head. She knew what Randy wanted to do, and in truth she finally wanted to do it as well. She had been holding back all of her feelings for John, and it was beginning to tear her apart. She couldn't remember the last time that she had a decent meal, or when she was able to sleep without dreaming of John. But it was time to begin letting him go.
Adjusting the piano microphone Alaina turned to the audience and smiled. "Hey guys, this is meant for only one man out there and it means a lot to me, so try not to crucify me too badly."
Taking one long deep breath she let her fingers begin to roam over the piano to the melody that she had memorized months ago. It wasn't the first time that she had sung in public, but it was the first time that she was about to be vulnerable with her emotions in front of a large crowd. Opening her mouth Alaina let the first few notes of the song flow through her softly and beautifully.
Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone. You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile. When I thought that I was strong. But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me.
Alaina took a deep breath and pounded on the keys letting her heart pour into every note that she played and sung. She let her eyes release the tears that had been pooling in her eyes since she had begun the song.
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground. But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go. The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down Keeping me down. You're on to me, you're on to me and all over me. Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long.
Alaina stood and smiled as the bar erupted in applause. The tears were flowing freely and there was nothing that she had been able to do to stop it. Every word in that beautifully written song was tailored to her feelings for John.
"Al, I didn't know you played," John said as Alaina came back to the table.
Alaina nodded and sniffled back her tears. "Yeah, uh—if you'll just excuse me I—I need some air."
John looked at Randy confused and concerned. "Was she crying?"
Randy nodded as his eyes followed Alaina out of the door. "Yeah man she was."
John stopped Randy from walking after her. "I think this time I got it. I'll go after her."
Randy and Maria looked on as John quickly exited the bar. They both knew what neither one was going to say. John had been nothing short of enthralled and emotional as Alaina sat at the piano singing. He had loved everything from the way her sweater fell to one side of her leaving her small shoulder exposed to the way her lips curved around the microphone as she sang. John was still very much in love with Alaina.
"Al," John cautiously laid a large hand on her shoulder when he spotted her standing outside the bar taking deep breathes. "Back there—"
Alaina sniffled back her tears and cleared her throat. "It's just been building up for so long ya' know? I mean there was so much that we never worked out, never said. And I've just been trying to tell myself that I'm fine and that I'll be ok without you but I'm not. I need you John; I've needed you all this time."
John sighed and pulled Alaina toward him until her back rested against his stomach. "I'm sorry Al. It's just with everything that happened, and with the way things were I didn't know what to do. I mean you made your choice and I wasn't sure how to handle it."
"What am I missing John? Because you told me that we were on our way to being friends again. You told me that you were happy with Maria and was happy that I was working it out with Joe. What did I miss from that? I mean after everything that you said you walked out on me. You left me office and I haven't heard from you since. What happened? Where did I go wrong?"
John turned Alaina in his arms and hugged her tightly. "You did nothing wrong, it was me, all me. I'm so sorry honey."
"I loved you so much Johnny boy. And I can't keep kidding myself into thinking that I don't anymore, because I still love you as much now as I did then."
John lifted Alaina's head and smiled at her as he wiped her tears with his thumbs. Nothing felt more right than this moment, then having Alaina in his arms and making her feel better. He let his mind go blank and the wonderful, warm feeling that had been with him all night take over him. His head lowered and captured Alaina's lips with his in a gentle kiss. The same familiar surge of passion awoke inside of him and he deepened the kiss as Alaina sighed and molded into his body.
"Johnny boy," Alaina breathed heavily as they broke apart. "This can't happen. You're with Maria and I go home in two days."
"Then let me take you to lunch, or dinner, something."
Alaina gave John a light peck on the lips and smiled as she rubbed her thumb over his lips trying to get rid of the traces of lip gloss that was on his lips. "I'll think about it. Can you give Randy a ride back? I just want to leave, I think he'll understand. Good night Johnny boy."
John reluctantly let Alaina out of his arms and nodded. "Good night Al."
And there it is, I hope that you enjoyed. So now show the love... Come on people I know that you're out there, now review please please please:)
Oh and of course the song does not belong to me it belongs to Sara Bareilles "Gravity".. amazing song, amazing artist, I wish I had that type of talent!!
