For those of you who have stayed the course, a certain someone will wake up and smell the coffee... you'll have to hang in there for it but patience is a virtue (and will be rewarded).

Van Helsing tried to wait out Carl but finally realized that Carl was determined not to talk to him that night. So with a sigh, he put down his book and got up. "I'm off to bed. Try not to stay up too late. I'd like to do a scouting mission tomorrow and you'll need to be in full order for that."

Carl looked grumpily up from his book. "I assure you I'll be quite capable of pulling my own weight tomorrow". Van Helsing sighed again. It seemed like he was just destined to keep annoying Carl. He debated about trying to fix it and decided that he was just too tired to figure it out. He merely wished Carl a good night and headed off to the bedroom. He started to undress but then realized that his usual habit of sleeping in the nude would probably make Carl uncomfortable. As a compromise, he left his underwear on and crawled into bed. But sleep was a long time coming as he replayed the day in his head.

Carl just seemed to take offence at any attempt to take care of him, but why? Carl's last comment seemed to imply that he believed Van Helsing thought him incapable of the job, but that was hardly the case. Carl was a great partner, which is why Van Helsing campaigned so often to get him include on his missions. It was not his fault that he got seasick on boats. Lots of people had that problem. Van Helsing was only trying to help. Really, Carl was being far too sensitive this trip. Except it really wasn't just this trip. Lately every time he tried to spend time with Carl, things got a little weird. Van Helsing was the first one to admit that sometimes he had no idea what Carl was talking about. The man is a genius and sometimes forgets that others couldn't follow his train of thought. But somehow this felt like there was more to it then that. Sometimes it seemed like Carl was standing far too close to him and touching him more then before. If it was anyone other than Carl, he might have thought he was flirting with him, but Carl was a friar, so of course it couldn't be that. OK, there had been that bar maid in Transylvania but that had been something of a fluke. An impulse brought about by a near death experience. That can make you do some strange things. It was a one time thing and as far as Van Helsing was concerned, a dead topic. So what was up with Carl? No matter how much he replayed events in his head, he just couldn't come up with any kind of answer that made sense…

Carl waited an appropriate amount of time for Van Helsing to fall asleep and then he made his way to the bedroom. He opened the door and tried to peer across the room to see if the Hunter was asleep or not. He seemed still enough so Carl made his way to the unoccupied side of the bed and shed his robes. He left his undershirt on and reluctantly climbed into bed and under the covers. He tried to lie as far away from Van Helsing as possible but it didn't help. He could feel the man's body just inches away from him and it was driving him crazy. He tried turning away from him but that didn't help either. Finally he decided that since he wasn't going to be falling asleep any time soon that he might as well indulge himself. After all, how often could he look to his heart's content?

He rolled over and raising himself up on his elbow, looked over at the man beside him. In the pale moonlight, Van Helsing looked beautiful and unearthly. Gazing at the peaceful face, Carl's eyes drifted across the beloved features until he found himself captured by his lips. They were slightly parted and at this close distance, Carl could feel each breath ghost across his own face. A lock of hair had drifted down to trail across one cheek and Carl could not resist reaching out and brushing back. He sighed at the contact. How much he wished he could caress the face of the man before him.

Van Helsing had remained very still when he heard the door open. He was afraid that if Carl thought him still awake, he would leave the room. He felt Carl toss and turn as if trying to get comfortable and then finally settle facing him. He could feel Carl's eyes on him and he forced himself to remain still and "asleep". This became hard indeed when Carl reached out and touched his face. He could hear the sad sigh and wanted to open his eyes and tell Carl that whatever the problem was, he was there for him. But he was afraid to spook him and so he remained as he was.

When Van Helsing didn't stir at Carl's touch, he became a bit bolder. Carl let the tips of his fingers trace the line of Van Helsing's cheek and down the side of his neck until he reached where the blanket covered the shoulder. He signed again – it was heaven to touch as he had always dreamed of doing. He watched carefully for any signs of stirring but Van Helsing seemed deeply asleep. He reached out again, caressing lovingly each plane and line of the face before him. Feeling Van Helsing's breath across his hand, he brought his fingers to those lips that had taunted him so and trailed across them with in the lightest of touches. It was like being electrocuted. A fire burned from his fingertips spreading quickly to the rest of his body. He closed his eyes as a tremor passed through him.

Van Helsing was frozen in confusion. Carl was touching him… no, caressing him. And it was not the loving touch of a friend. Even more confusing was his body's reaction to it. Each touch seemed to make him crave more. But what should he do? Clearly Carl was only doing this because he believed Van Helsing to be asleep. How would he react if he were to suddenly "wake up"? Would he stop what he was doing? Or worse, would he flee? Neither idea appealed to Van Helsing. Then Carl's fingers ghosted across his lips and he couldn't remain "asleep" any longer…

Carl opened his eyes to see Van Helsing looking at him, confusion and something else in his eyes. Carl was horrified – Van Helsing had caught him. Now he would kindly, but firmly tell Carl to leave him alone. Mortified, Carl tried to roll away but Van Helsing was too quick and grabbed his arm, pulling him onto his back. Van Helsing was looming over him and there was no place to hide. He closed his eyes and awaited the worst.

Van Helsing saw the fearful expression on Carl's face and realized Carl was expecting Van Helsing to be angry with him for what he had done. "Carl, please look at me" But Carl only shook his head, his eyes stubbornly closed. "No, just say it and get it over with."

"Say what, Carl?" Van Helsing said confused. He still didn't understand exactly what was happening here. He was suddenly feeling attraction for his best friend and his mind was reeling from the possible implications.

Carl was in agony. He knew that Van Helsing was trying to be kind but it was only prolonging the suffering. "Just say it, Van Helsing. Just tell me that you don't want me. That you have no interest in ugly, old me." He tried once again to roll away from Van Helsing but was held firm.

"Carl, stop this. You are not ugly. Why would you think that?" Van Helsing was truly surprised by the blonde man's words.

"Why would I think that? Gee, Van Helsing, maybe because for the past 4 weeks you've done nothing but tell me how terrible I look! Carl said sarcastically, finally meeting the Hunter's eyes. "Maybe because before that you are constantly telling me I'm too pale or I look tired, or I'm wrung out. You think maybe that might be why?? I know I'm not in your league when it comes to looks but surely I'm not as horrible as that?" Everything came pouring out in an angry rush - the dam having finally burst, freeing months of pent up frustration.

Van Helsing sat there in stunned silence. He had no idea that Carl had taken his comments the way he had. He worried about the friar, afraid that the Order put far too much pressure on him to produce. He had only been trying to look out for his friend so that he didn't work himself into a collapse and instead had made Carl feel ugly and undesirable. Looking into his friend's eyes he saw how beautiful they were. How could he have missed the signs so completely? But as he felt Carl begin to struggle to get away, he realized he had to do something to make Carl understand. He shifted his body to more firmly pin Carl down and tried to think of what to say to fix this misunderstanding between them.

Carl almost groaned as Van Helsing shifted himself more over Carl's body. Anger began to melt under the close proximity and Carl knew if he didn't act soon, he was going to end up humiliating himself even more than he already had. "Van Helsing, get off me. I'm not in the mood for being let down gently. I know that you aren't interested so just let me go." And with that he attempted to heave the Hunter off him.

Van Helsing however just shifted his weight and kept Carl pinned. He realized that the only way to fix things was to show Carl that he was interested in him. Very interested if the response his body was having to just laying on top of him was anything to go by. As he looked down at the panting man beneath him, he found himself drawn to his lips. How had he never noticed just how enticing Carl's lips were? Licking his own, he realized the perfect way to show Carl he was attractive. He lowered his head and captured Carl's lips in slow and thorough kiss.

"Oh… my…" Carl completely melted under Van Helsing's kiss. It was pure heaven and Carl was helpless to stop himself from responding. A moan escaped him as he reached up to bury his hands in the soft dark hair. As if in approval, the kiss turned even deeper and more passionate. Carl could feel the need for air but could not bring himself to break the kiss in case it somehow broke the spell. It would not be a bad way to go…

Van Helsing was lost. Lost in the feel of Carl's lips and the sensations that filled him and lost to the need that was slowly building into a raging fire. Only when the need for air was too strong to be ignored, did he break the kiss. His breath was ragged as he stared down at the man beneath him. Carl's lips were red and kiss swollen and desire stabbed through him even harder. Any confusion had long since burned away in the heat of passion that raged through him.

Carl half opened his eyes as the kiss ended. He panted rapidly and looked at the dark haired man above him. Van Helsing's eyes burned with desire and the sight left him even more breathless. So many times he had dreamed of seeing him like this and now it was really happening. When Van Helsing lowered his head again, Carl met him half way. Even if this were only the one night, he would take it gladly.

Van Helsing could feel Carl surrendering even more deeply to the passion between them and it only spurned him onward. His tongue delved into Carl's mouth twining and moving in a sensual dance. His body pressed against Carl as he rubbed against him, the contact only making him hotter. His hands began to caress Carl's sides and down his thighs. Traveling back up, they pushed the undershirt up, letting him touch the skin that he so craved. Carl's moans mingled with his own as the shirt slowly inched upward. Van Helsing broke the kiss to trail his mouth down Carl's neck, licking and nipping. Carl writhed and moaned under the onslaught. His own hands roamed the line of Van Helsing's back, reveling in the feel of hard muscles flexing beneath them. Having pushed the undershirt up to bare Carl's stomach and chest, Van Helsing let his hands stroke across the surprisingly firm muscles he found there. Carl had been hiding a gorgeous body beneath those ugly robes and Van Helsing intended to explore every inch of it. His hands played across the taunt muscles of Carl's stomach and heard another moan. Looking at the blonde's face he was caught by the utterly captivating sight of Carl debauched and lost in his lust. Those luscious lips were parted as moan after moan fell from them. Van Helsing captured them again, drinking deeply of the sweet and searing essence that was uniquely Carl.

Carl ached with a desire so strong that he thought he might die from it. Each touch, each kiss only made him need more. Never had he needed fulfillment as much as he did right now. Alone at night in his rooms, he had touched himself and dreamed of the man who now steadily driving him mad and never had it been so intense. He needed Van Helsing to touch him, to take him over the edge. It was all too much and yet not enough.

Van Helsing's hands continued to caress and tease as his mouth plundered Carl's. How could he not have known how much he needed this man? Nothing had ever felt so right, so strong. Carl completed him in ways that he never knew he need. This was just the beginning of something so much more…

Van Helsing pulled himself back from Carl's lips and heard a disappointed groan. Van Helsing looked down at the man who had so changed his world and softly said "I love you". Carl looked into Van Helsing's and seeing the truth there, smiled and said "I love you too. I've loved you for such a very long time". Van Helsing closed his eyes a moment, almost overcome by the words and then opened them and gazed deeply into Carl's eyes. There was no more need for words and they filled the rest of the night with the sounds of love and passion.

TBC - though I'm revisiting other things so if it doesn't show up for a while, it doesn't mean I'm abandoning it.

Big hugs to NikoruSanzo who has been cheering me on while I avoided actually finish up this last chapter. If you ever make those Beholder plushies I definately want one! All hail the Mysterious Chicken (trademark pending) snerk

To everyone who has said really amazinglynice things about my other stories - big hugs and cookies to each and everyone one of you. Every time I read your reviews it makes me get back to the laptop and continue on. You rock - collectively and individually!!!