She'd barely looked up at him in the past ten minutes, her eyes focussed on her fidgeting fingers, her beer untouched.

"So ah, about yesterday." Deeks finally broke the silence, pushing forward into the awkward void.

Kensi looked up at him briefly but didn't say anything in response.

"I know we've been a bit on and off lately but you know you can talk to me. I like to joke and tease but I can be serious too. We're partners. I've got your back." He said, reaching a hand across the table to touch hers.

"This was a mistake." She drew her hand back and clenched her fists. "I can't be here." She stood, tension pouring off her in waves.

"Sorry, what?" Deeks asked confused.

"This beer, the bar. I can't be here. I've gotta go outside." She was half way across the room before Deeks could say another word.

He threw a few bills down on their table and hurriedly followed her out the door. There was no sign of her in the parking lot but her SRX sat silent and empty in the same space she'd parked it twenty minutes earlier.

He moved further out into the night until he could make out her figure sitting doubled over on a park bench. He jogged to her and gently laid a hand on her back when he reached her. She didn't flinch at his touch but he could feel her unsteady breathing.

"Kens, you gotta tell me what's going on here." He all but begged.

"I…" She heaved in a breath. "I'm trying I just, I don't know that I can." She confessed.

Her shaky breathing was starting to give way to sobs that brought him flashbacks of Afghanistan. He dropped to his knees in front of her, rubbing his hands on the back of her calves, trying to sooth her.

"Kensi, you're starting to scare me."

"You're scared?" She choked out a sarcastic laugh. "You're scared? I'm terrified! I can'd do this. I'm not cut out for it. I can't even remember the things I can't have. I invited you to a bar! What the hell was I thinking?!"

She stood up from the bench leaving Deeks crouched in front of nothing and began to pace the sidewalk.

"I mean I haven't even thought this through. I haven't gotten the medications and vitamins the doctor told me to get. I almost drank coffee this morning and I've been drinking coffee every morning! And alcohol! I've been drinking beers with you on our nights off! How could you let me do that? This was not how I pictured any of this!" She continued to ramble to herself as she paced.

"Kensi, you need to back up a little for me."

She stopped pacing and turned to face him.

"This is not how I imagined this going." She said, finally looking him in the face.

"Not how you imagined what going?" He asked, taking a few steps towards her.

"I need to talk to you."

"So talk to me Kens. Partners, remember?"

She stood silent for a long moment, her gaze wandering from the sidewalk, to his face, to the beach a few yards away.

"Do you remember the promise you made me before Afghanistan?" The sudden change in topic threw him for a moment as he though back and nodded. "I need you to remember that promise right now cause this is not going how I thought it would and I just need..."

"Wanna walk?" He suggested, gesturing with his head to the sand that was spread before them.

She nodded, toeing off her shoes before placing a hand on his arm for balance as she brought each foot up to take off her socks. Deeks quickly shucked his socks and shoes too before following her out onto the sand.

They walked in silence, letting the sound of the waves crashing against the shore fill the empty space between them. They'd made it close to a quarter of a mile when Kensi finally spoke.

"I'm pregnant." It was barely more than a murmur but Deeks heard it all the same, stopping in his tracks even as Kensi kept wandering forward a few more steps before stopping herself, dropping down into the sand.

Deeks took two steps and dropped down next to her.

"Wow." He puffed.

"Yeah." She agreed, both of them looking out to the ocean.

"When did you find out?" He queries.

"Yesterday."

She saw him nod out of the corner of her eye, his head bobbing up and down seemingly of it's own accord as the news washed over him.

"When did… I mean, how far along?"

"I thought I was more memorable than that." Kensi tried to joke but it fell flat.

"No. I know when I just meant, when are you due? How long?" He clarified.

"January twelve. The doctor said I'm about ten weeks."

His head was still nodding.

"That's a lot to process." He blew out another puff of air.

"Tell me about it."

"So should we, I don't know, move in together or something?" His head finally stopped it's up and down motion and he turned to face her.

"What?" Her head snapped round to look at him.

"I mean, that's what people do right?"

"Deeks, this isn't the 1960's." She half joked.

"I know. If it was the 1960's I would be asking you to marry me."

Kensi's eyes bulged at his words.

"We're so close to a relationship Kens, maybe this is what we needed to take that final step." He suggested.

"Deeks, no. That's not how this works. Jumping headlong into this without thinking is not the answer." She argued.

"Well, what is then?"

"I don't know." She turned to look back at the ocean.

"Well that's helpful." He scoffed.

"Deeks, I'm not moving in with you. We've never even been on a real date!" Her voice was slowly getting louder.

"So what? You're just going to do it all on your own? Cut me out? Now's not the time to be stubborn."

"I never said that! I'm not trying to stubborn. I'm trying to be practical!" She was yelling now. She could see Deeks about to come back at her with a heated retort but she held her palm up, closing her hand into a fist both to stop him from talking and to release some of the tension and anger that was starting to fill her.

"Listen, Deeks, I'm not cutting you out of anything and this is big news, I get it. Believe me, I really get it but we need to be sensible and think these things through. You need time to process. Hell, I need time to process. I'm still trying to figure out my head and my life and my own body. I've put in for a few days leave, gonna try and come to terms with it and figure out what this means for me, for us. Give it a few days, sort yourself out too, then call me. We'll figure it out. You just have to keep your promise and I'll keep mine."

"What promise is that?" He'd calmed down again, slumping over a little and drawing patterns in the sand with his finger.

"Be patient with me and I'll get better at talking about our thing."

He cocked his head to look at her, a tight smile gracing his lips.

"We'll figure this out." He said, stretching his hand out to her.

"Yeah, we will." She squeezed his hand before letting it drop, moving to stand up. "You gonna head home?"

"I think I'm just gonna sit here for a while."


Sam and Callen walked side by side into the bullpen the next morning to find Deeks already at his desk, concentrating hard on the files in front of him.

"Oh, no. This can't be good." Callen gestured his head towards Deeks as the partners stopped at the top of the bullpen.

Sam shared a look with Callen before moving to sit behind his desk.

"Look at this Callen. He actually looks like he's working. Something fishy's going on." Sam spun his chair so he was facing Deeks. "Spill it."

The man in question shrugged. "Just wanted to get a head start on some stuff." He tried to brush it off, not lifting his head from his work.

"Uh huh." Callen sounded anything but convinced. "So, where's your partner?"

He made a point to finish the paragraph he was reading before closing the file with a flourish and looking over at the Callen.

"Said she was taking a few days."

"She's not being reassigned again is she? I don't think I can do another four months of mopey Deeks." Callen ribbed.

"No, she's just taking a few days. That's all." Deeks repeated.

"Oh, trouble in paradise?" Sam teased.

"She said she needed some time to get a few things done. I didn't push."

"You didn't push? You push everything. What's really going on here?" Callen prodded.

Deeks shrugged.

"I don't know."

"He knows." Sam directed his comment at Callen.

"He certainly knows. Why do you think he's not telling us?" Callen replied.

"Probably sworn to secrecy. I'd be scared of invoking the wrath of Kensi too." Sam rallied.

"So if it was my secret and Deeks was asking?"

"You don't scare me G. And Deeks is annoying as hell."

"So you'd sell me out just to get him off your back?" Callen asked incredulously.

"I didn't say that." Sam retaliated.

Deeks had taken to ignoring them again and had opened his laptop and was currently scrolling through his favourite online surf store when something caught his eye. He was just filling in the last of his credit card details when Eric whistled.

"Case on deck."

Deeks quickly typed a request into the special instructions section before hitting the confirmation button, sending his purchase through and following Sam and Callen up the stairs.


Kensi had gone to breakfast with her mother that morning before following into the pharmacy to get the various pills the doctor had listed. Julia had then proceeded to drag Kensi into a clothing store, pointing out the frilly dresses and tiny tutus in the baby section. The whole trip had made her stomach clench, her anxiety skyrocketing, overwhelming her once again. Just the prospect of buying tiny clothes to dress a tiny human who would be her responsibility sent flashes across her mind: a crying infant she couldn't soothe, a screaming child in a princess costume she couldn't calm, a rebellious teen she couldn't control. But the pure excitement on her mother's face had made it impossible for her not to go along with it.

She'd all but fallen through her front door at three that afternoon wanting nothing more than to collapse on her couch with a snack and some bad reality television, ignoring the life growing in her stomach that was currently turning her world upside down. She'd just taken her shoes off and dumped the bag of supplements in her bathroom when a knock sounded from the front door.

With a groan of frustration she stormed to the door, flinging it open with enough aggression to startle the young courier on the other side.

"Ah, Kensi Blye?" The young man stuttered.

"Yes?"

"I've got a package here for you, if you could just, ah, sign here?" He handed over an electronic pad.

"I didn't order anything." She said, taking the stylus and signing her name regardless.

The courier shrugged and handed over the package.

"Have a great day ma'am."

"Thanks." She mumbled back, taking the box and closing the door. She stared at it, noting the logo on the label, it was familiar but she was certain she hadn't ordered anything recently.

She threw the box gently onto the coffee table, heading into the kitchen to grab a bag of Doritos and a bottle of water before returning to the living room. She dumped her snacks onto the table, turned on the TV, and picked the box up again, peeling back the tape that secured the lid.

She bypassed the folded card on top and pulled back the packing paper to reveal a pair of tiny black Chuck Taylors. With careful hands she pulled the shoes out of their box and let them sit on the palm of her hand. She stared at them, examining them from every angle before picking up the folded card and reading the typed message.

If you've shown me anything during our partnership it's that you're capable of everything you set your stubborn mind to. You've got this Fern. You're going to be an amazing Mom.

You're not in this alone. You and me. Baby steps.

Xx

The earlier images of uncooperative children were suddenly replaced happier ones: her tickling a giggling infant, a toddler holding her hand and learning to walk, a three year old riding on strong shoulders as a family of three walked along the sand.

She put the shoes on the coffee table next to her forgotten chips and pulled out her phone. She typed a quick message before laying back on the couch and resting her hands on her stomach, noticing for the first time the imperceptible bump forming there.

"I'll make you a deal kid. You be nice to me and I promise to buy you whatever you want. Okay? We've got this." She murmured to her stomach.


Deeks' phone buzzed as they pulled up to the warehouse, the team decked out in vests and assault riffles, fully equipped to storm the place. Quickly he pulled it out and checked the text.

Baby steps.

X

He grinned widely, staring at his phone.

"Deeks!" Sam's voice broke through his cloud of thought. "You ready?"

The grin dropped and his face became serious again as he locked his phone and put it back in his vest.

"Let's do this."


A/N: Well, once again you guys blew me away with your love and reviews and follows! There are so many of you! Thank you so much!

Extra special thanks to the amazing people who took the time to leave me a review on the last chapter: CoastalReader, bookdiva, guesswhofern, Loz, Marta Kensi Deeks, tita, kaaw, AliyahNCIS, Magnum, Heather9979, Joy, Siena, JenRar, Melissa, RookieBlueGirl, Aneeeta, Hally, MontyTheDog, Rach, zats, Anonymous, Kyra73, Hoosier65, and the three Guests. Also to wanna-be-bold for the short note on tumblr too!

I love reading your comments and critiques and to all of you who review every chapter and/or every story I love to look at your reviews and go, yay! they liked this one too! It makes me feel kinda like I know my audience a bit and that's awesome.

See you all next chapter!