Chapter three!
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Letters
Sakura realized her mistake almost immediately after she'd made it.
On that first night in Orochimaru's base all those months ago, she knew she'd screwed up bigtime. Part of her wanted to leave at the first opportunity she got. Wanted to run back to Konoha and beg forgiveness.
And yet.
The thought of Sasuke spending the next few years here with no one to care for him held her back. She loved him, after all. She couldn't leave him.
She couldn't.
On multiple occasions, she's considered sending a message to someone back in Konoha. She's drafted letters to Naruto, Kakashi-sensei, Ino, her parents, and even the Hokage, but she hasn't quite mustered up the courage to send any of them. Those intended for her friends or family are relatively lighthearted, but the ones for her former superiors are far more grave.
Most of the letters consist of apologies and general remorse. However, some of them include details of Orochimaru's associates and dens. She's not sure why she adds such information. Perhaps to facilitate a possible rescue.
She usually tears them up after a few days, knowing that if anyone here ever finds them, she's fucked.
After seven months under Kabuto's tutelage, Sakura is permitted to go on missions with Sasuke as the designated medical ninja. Though, she doesn't find such a title appropriate. Orochimaru has forbidden her to heal civilians and anything short of a fatal wound on her comrades. The old sannin prefers that Sasuke learns to avoid sustaining injuries by forcing him to endure them until he returns to whatever hideout at which they're stationed. Sakura finds the policy a little ill-advised, if not simply cruel.
Normally, it's just the two of them on such assignments, but some of Orochimaru's other underlings join them on occasion. Today, it's business as usual.
"I'll never understand how you manage not to kill anyone on these excursions, Sasuke-kun," Sakura extols as she comes to stand beside her partner. "You really are the very best!"
"Hn," he responds, not looking up at her. From what she can tell, he's become much more receptive of her praise in the past several months, which she attributes to her being the only positive presence in his life these days. She tells herself it's fine that he doesn't reciprocate.
"Let's proceed with the mission," he asserts, nodding towards the rising sun. Together, they pick their way through the rubble and unconscious bodies that resulted from the ambush of enemy rogue nin.
Stepping over a rather large man that she'd punched the lights out of, Sakura remarks, "It's kind of funny, don't you think?"
Sasuke, already on the other side of the battle zone, mutters, "What is?"
"Well," she breathes, hopping over a boulder. "We still have to fight rogue nin all the time despite being rogues ourselves. That's pretty funny, right?"
Finally, he spares her a sideways glance. "Ironic, perhaps."
In the light of dawn, it almost looks like he's smiling.
Back in Konoha, Sasuke never paid much attention to Sakura. She was well aware of this fact as she'd spent so much time paying attention to him. At first, it hadn't bothered her very much. She knew he was busy and utterly focused on his goal. However, after they'd been on Team 7 for a while and she'd gotten to know him quite well, it started to bug her. They were both genin, so he was really only as busy as she was. Sure, he trained a lot more, but that was when she wasn't around anyway.
Of course, she'd assumed that he was simply one of those people that take a while to appreciate those around him. And it seems as though she was correct.
In the past several months, he's been talking to her more, inviting her to train with him whenever Orochimaru didn't require his presence, and even brought her sweets after a mission he'd gone on without her. Perhaps most significantly, she's caught him glancing at her quite a lot, often giving her appraising looks. Initially, it'd thrown her off, especially since she was so busy herself these days that she hardly has time to pay attention to him.
Ironic, she knows.
Mostly, he looks away when she catches him in the act. Such behavior oddly reminds her of a nervous child with a crush.
But no, that's ridiculous. She'd be insane to believe that Sasuke liked her back, especially because absolutely nothing had changed about their dynamic. She's still entirely smitten with him, and he still has his ambitions.
That's not to say she's not enjoying this change, whatever it is.
A few times, he holds her gaze after their eyes connect. Eventually, she grows so flustered that she has to tear her eyes away, cheeks burning like mad.
This is one of those times.
They've just returned from a mission in which they'd delivered some medical scrolls to Orochimaru, who is currently stationed at a hideout about a day's journey away. It's very early in the morning, about three o'clock, so they've decided to head straight to bed and give Kabuto their mission report in the morning. As they walk down the winding halls to their rooms, Sakura notices Sasuke's gaze is fixed onto her face. She has to hold herself back from grimacing as she knows she must not look too attractive right now. She's exhausted and in desperate need of a shower, and can only imagine how grimy her skin must be.
Upon reaching their respective lodgings, she bids him goodnight and steps forward to enter her room.
"Sakura," Sasuke calls.
With her hand on the knob, she turns to face him. "Yes, Sasuke-ku—"
Her eyes widen as thin lips crash onto hers and calloused hands come to grip either side of her face. Sasuke's eyes are clenched shut. His mouth presses against hers in a chaste kiss for all of three seconds. When he tears himself away, he backs up slowly, sharp eyes flitting over her face.
"Goodnight," he whispers, nodding to himself about something and heading into his room.
Numb aside from her tingling lips, Sakura slips into her room soundlessly. After she closes the door behind her, she stands against it for a full minute, staring into the darkness of the room as she attempts her contemplate what just happened.
Does he like me, she wonders, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. He must; why else would he kiss me?
She almost screams as she realizes that she hadn't kissed him back, which might be why he pulled away. After all, why spend your time kissing a girl that doesn't reciprocate? More importantly, why did he choose now to kiss her?
She falls asleep trying to figure out his reasoning.
After the first-kiss incident, Sakura finds herself sneaking kisses with Sasuke more and more. At first, he always instigates any osculation. He'll pull her around a corner, drag her into a vacant room, and even interrupt their dual training. Some nights, he'll slip into her room and they'll snog for a while. In the beginning, it only lasts for a few minutes before Sasuke retires to his room. As time progresses, such instances grow longer, extending to ten, twenty, thirty minutes. Sometimes, he'll spend the night, but he's always gone when the morning comes.
They cuddle. They hold hands. He nuzzles her hair.
He rarely responds to her attempts at pillow talk. He never whispers sweet nothings in her ear.
Sakura isn't sure how she feels about it all.
She's cleaning up after herself in the labs when she feels Sasuke's chakra flare. She promptly drops the rag in her hand and rushes towards the sound of the explosion that shakes the underground lair. She weaves her way through the corridors, realizing after a few turns that she's headed to her room.
Please let my room still be intact, she internally pleads.
When she passes the last corner, she sees that the entire hall has been blown apart. However, that's not what calls for her attention.
Sasuke stands at the top of the newly manufactured crater, staring down at Naruto and two other Konoha shinobi. "Ah, is it Sakura," he calls as she enters the clearing. Everyone's attention is drawn to her. The two unknown ninja slide into defensive positions as they notice her behind them, while Naruto's reaction is both surprising and entirely predictable.
"Sakura," he shouts gleefully, launching himself at her and enveloping her in a bear hug. She's too shocked to do anything but stand still and silent. For years now, she's wrestled endlessly with herself on whether or not she should return to Konoha. Her mind constantly strays to those she's left behind and what she could be doing if she had stayed with them. Now, with one of the most important people from her old life holding her tight and blathering about how much he's missed her, she doesn't know how she's going to keep herself from returning home with him.
She looks over Naruto's shoulder at Sasuke and remembers why she came with him in the first place. He needs someone to be here for him. She loves him. She can't leave him.
She just can't.
Sakura forces herself to push Naruto away. He stumbles back from her, eyes shining with hurt, but she doesn't let herself dwell on it. Concentrating on the chakra flowing through the soles of her feet, she runs up the wall of the cavern until she reaches Sasuke's side.
She can't quite bring herself to look at Naruto again.
