Hey y'all. Are you ready to hate me? It's okay, I promise. It get's better after this particular chapter.

Warning: suicide

I own nothing.

Enjoy! MUHAHAHAHAHA

Gabriel didn't so much as look at Sam the next morning. Not when they were in the car either. Cas had heard the yelling the night before, but him and Dean could feel nothing but the palpable tension in the car as they drove through the day. It was dusk by the time they reached 246 Crescent Lake Road in almost complete silence, and everyone seemed to heave a collective sigh of relief as they gulped in the fresh air at their destination. They headed out towards the barn, which loomed in exactly the same way as it had the day they found Gabriel.

Sam tried to keep the archangel as far from the barn as possible, but Gabriel managed to become a living bulldozer every time the lanky hunter tried to block his path. Castiel wasn't sure what happened to them, but he'd never seen either of them in such disarray.

Sam had a shadow of stubble and his shirt was buttoned a little crooked. Gabriel was shaking, and jumpy and both of them had puffy, bloodshot eyes and the area around them was still slightly raw. Dean and Cas shared another quick glance as they made their own way up to the huge, rotting space.

Cas had never felt this way about anything. This level of bitterness and disgust was was somewhere between the need to vomit and the need to burn the entirety of 246 Crescent Lake to Hell and back. The emotion was startling and liberating- almost reminding him of when he first realized his feelings for Dean- but this one spread through his bloodstream like poison. Not the euphoria of love.

"I hate this place." he didn't mean to say it out loud. He didn't even realize he had until he felt the brief squeeze of Dean's hand around his. It didn't stay, and Cas immediately felt the loss of the familiar warmth and weight of the big hand on his fingers.

"I do too." Dean cocked his gun, whispering the words only loud enough for Castiel to hear. They pushed their way past the nasty old door, and into the huge barn.

"What exactly are we doin' here, Deano?" Gabe called nonchalantly across the room from where he had his back turned, stiffly studying some sigils carved into the wood. Sam stood resolutely at his side, far enough away that there was a good couple feet between the two of them, but close enough that he could reach the archangel in a flash if he had an episode.

"What'd you and Bobby dig up, Cas?"

"We believe there is an abandoned bunker- most likely a bomb shelter of the Cold War- underground in the woods nearby. While we did clear out all evidence from the actual farmhouse, the evidence in the barn was impossible to reach."

They followed the angel as he gingerly walked across the wing-patterned floorboards, Gabriel looking more and more tense the further in they got. In the back of the barn there were two immensely rundown stalls. The one closest to them held a nasty array of chains and discarded feathers. A stash of stolen angel blades and a bed of bloodstained hay scattered across the ground. The one at the far back, however, had a padlock- it was open and gaping on the floor with a tangle of chains in front of the half open door. Inside, there was a massive safe with four combination locks and every inch covered in angel banishing symbols.

"I couldn't open it with my grace, but now we think we know the combinations." Cas took a scrap of paper from the pocket of his trenchcoat, and cautiously stepped over the pile of mangled chains. The wood creaked as he passed by. Cas squatted in front of the safe, and none of them could hear anything but paper crinkling and numbers clicking by.

The lock slid open with a nasty bang, making the angel jump a little bit. Cas lost his balance and Dean caught him just in time to grab onto his shoulders and hold him up. The hands didn't leave this time, and Cas smiled inwardly at the deliberate show of affection as Dean kneeled down behind him, peering into the safe over his shoulder.

"Cas?"

"I'm fine, Dean." it was always the unspoken question. The safe creaked on its hinges.

There were more and more files. Spreadsheets, blueprints, receipts, and a notebook full of yellowing pages. And a topography map of the scrounging forests.

"Cas, I think we found it..."

"It looks as if the bunker is built into a hill by the river on the west side-"

"GABRIEL!"

Their heads swung around so fast that Castiel could hear Dean's neck cracking.

Gabriel was on the floor, limp and convulsing, with grace burning behind his eyes. Sam was kneeling at his side, holding his head in his lap and desperately searching for anything to help him. All he could do was call his name.

"Please, Please wake up- Gabe! GABRIEL- WHAT"S GOING ON!?" his panicked eyes turned to them, a sheen of sweat already lining his hairline. Cas was up in a flash- he couldn't explain it all to Sam now, he didn't have time. Gabriel must've been in at least stage four of the process by now.

Laying his hands over his brother's forehead and stomach, Cas focused all his grace into the archangel, reaching out to piece him back together.

"What is HAPPENING? CAS!" Sam shouted despairingly. The light of grace was slowly fading from under Gabriel's eyelids, and Cas took his hand from his forehead, but left the one on his abdomen. The younger angel had to pause and catch his breath, staring at his unconscious brother.

How could Gabriel do such a thing? He always so strong-especially back in Heaven-, even when he shouldn't be, he always had something to say or do that made the situation seem better. What brought him so far down?

It had been more than a long time since his brother- his caregiver- left heir home. But he had Sam. He had love. Cas fought down the feeling of bitter betrayal burning its way up his throat- now wasn't the time. Gabriel was severely emotionally compromised and-

"C-Cas... Is he...?" Sam was staring down at the archangel like he was a lost dream, cracked in two by reality. Tears swam in his eyes and he looked like someone had just ripped out his heart and stomped on it.

"No. He isn't dead." he heard himself say the words, but couldn't seem to feel anything. Gabriel... Gabriel attempted-

"What the Hell just happened?" A thoroughly rattled Dean crouched down at Cas's side. Cas shook his head, choking on his newly found emotions and clutching at his unconscious brother like he could never go away.

"He- he attempted grace combustion..." he whispered. If he said it any louder it would become real.

"Wh-What does that mean?" Sam asked tentatively, like he didn't want to know the answer. He took a big hand and shakily stroked away the wild golden hair from the closed eyes.

"It's... it's the only form of angelic suicide." he felt his heart shatter as the young hunter made a sound like he had been shot, and Dean fisted his hand in the fabric of Cas's trenchcoat. "the- the grace incinerates itself... it can take hours, it's incredibly painful, and- and creates physical symptoms like that of a human taking cyanide..."

There was a moment of complete silence. Sam bent himself over Gabriel's body, digging his fingers into his shirt and clenching his fists in the fabric. Dean clutched Cas's arm and pulled him a couple feet away, making him turn his back on the scene.

"They're gonna be doing rounds through here in less than an hour. I'm so sorry to have to ask you this now, but could you fly them back to Bobby's? I'll take the impala and meet you guys..." he kissed him firmly on the forehead and cupped his cheek briefly "I'm so sorry, Cas. We have the map, we'll come back in a couple days and check out the bunker." It was like the words didn't fully enter his brain. "Cas?"

"Y-Yeah. Yes, I'll do that." he pushed his tears away and turned, coat flapping, and pressed his hand over Sam's where he gripped onto Gabriel.

They were gone in a flutter of wings.