Disclaimer: I do not own 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', 'Numb3rs', 'Inspector Gadget', or 'Get Smart' and I am not Joss Whedon (BtVS), Nicolas Falacci (N), Cheryl Heuton (N), Andy Heyward (IG), Jean Chalopin (IG), Bruno Bianchi (IG), Mel Brooks (GS), or Buck Henry (GS). No infringement is intended and no profit is being made.
Don and Buffy: the Sequel to the Prequel
One year and three months later…
Buffy surveyed the scene, finding it wanting.
"When was the last time anyone dusted this place?" she asked her minion, Andrew.
Andrew was eyeing the pile of debris with a similar question in mind, and grunted his agreement. Being a semi-civilized man, Andrew would have voiced his agreement but had quite unfortunately rammed a bar of chocolate into his mouth moments previously.
Ignoring her minion's uncouth behavior, Buffy continued examining the scene. The library they were currently in was not built to house the amount of people trying to examine it. Were she a fire marshal, Buffy would probably limit the number of people safely allowed in at any one time to five. In addition to Buffy and Andrew, there were four FBI agents, two mathematicians, and one physicist currently trying to examine the room. Adding to the regrettable denseness of the space were the various piles of loose papers and writing utensils scattered throughout the room. One pile near the back reached almost three feet off the floor but the piles averaged about one and a third feet tall.
Buffy picked up papers from each of the piles as she finished her circuit of the room. When she returned to the entryway, Buffy studied the papers for a few minutes and then conferred with Andrew, who had finished eating his candy bar.
"It's obvious that the killer was disorganized," she started "we know that much from the evidence at the scenes."
The killer Buffy was currently studying hadn't even tried to clean up the evidence at the scenes. The killer left shoeprints, bloody fingerprints, hair samples, and even the various murder weapons in full view. It hadn't taken much tracking for Buffy and the FBI to track the man to the small occult library he normally ran. Buffy normally wouldn't have been called in on a case with such a small mystical element, but Don asked her personally making it hard for her to refuse.
The agent had called Buffy two days previously in order to ask about the writing on papers found near the various victims. When Buffy was able to identify it as shorthand for Egyptian Demotic, but they soon began discussing any possible mystical connection to the methods he used to find and kill his victims. When Buffy mentioned that this might be easier to do in person, Don quickly asked her if she was able to fly to L.A. on such short notice. Andrew personally believed that the man was developing a small crush on his boss, but would hardly admit that aloud. Andrew also believed that his boss was developing a small crush on the agent, but he wouldn't even think that aloud.
When they arrived in L.A., it was obvious from the first scene that the killer was completely mundane. If some demon was involved, it would have had an effect on the
Buffy shuffled through the papers before picking one out for closer study. After a moment, she continued talking. "Most of these papers have nothing to do with the killings. They're mostly notes on inventory and various ideas he wanted to write down. These papers actually seem well thought-out and mostly grammatical but the later ones, the ones that are talk about the killings, have a rushed quality to them. He first describes hearing a voice about two weeks ago. The voice is muttering to him, but he can't quite make it out. It is easy to ignore, but he writes that the voice sounds angry or agitated. In the papers that were written last week, he can't stop the voice or even tune it out. It is a near-constant stream of vitriol directed against everything and everyone."
"Near-constant?" Andrew asked, playing his part as the Watson to her Holmes.
"Whenever he killed someone in the way the voice wanted, it would quite down for a bit," Buffy replied, shuffling the papers. "The first time he killed someone, the euphoria at finally quieting the voice was wonderful. Once he knew that peace was achievable, he couldn't stop. At the back of his mind, he knew that what he was doing was wrong, but the promise of a moment's peace was too much."
The duo fell into silence for a moment, before Andrew asked, "Are we going to catch him?"
"Definitely," Buffy replied instantly. "The man's probably out wandering the neighborhood right now looking for another victim. The police doing the canvas have his physical description and know that he's probably acting erratically. Someone will eventually see something; all we have to do is wait."
The fingerprint databases went down right before the first killing, only three days previously. The FBI agents were able to match the prints from four other scenes to the first, but unable to make a match to their owner. Taking into account the five murder scenes, Don's brother Charlie was able to narrow down a four-block radius where the killer probably lived or worked and the library was right near the middle. They had begun searching the area that morning, when the databases came back online. They were able to identify the killer as Markos Spiros and the library they were currently standing in as his place of occupation. They had also hoped to corner Markos here before he had the chance to kill again, but sadly, that was too much to ask.
Andrew jumped when a phone started ringing in the near-silence. Don pulled his phone from his pocket and answered with, "Eppes."
The conversation lasted only five seconds, but when Don said, "We got him," everyone else in the room let out a breath they hadn't realized they'd been holding.
Congratulations were passed around the room and even though Buffy didn't think she had helped that much, she still was satisfied by the outcome. Buffy crossed the room and gave each of the brothers a firm hand shake. She was about to pull away and make her escape when Charlie invited her and Andrew back to his house for dinner.
"Nothing fancy," he said, "I'll just order a pizza or Chinese and we'll have a minor celebration for another closed case."
"Besides," he whispered, "I want to get to know the woman my brother hasn't stopped talking about in a far less gruesome setting."
Buffy was startled by Charlie's words, but managed to ask, "He's been talking about me?"
"Of course he has. I don't think he realizes how often the conversation turns in your direction." He paused for a moment, and then added, "So, I take it that means you're coming?"
Buffy nodded her acceptance and got directions from Charlie before heading back to the company car.
Charlie's house was only a fifteen minute drive from library but it seemed much shorter to Buffy. To Andrew, the house seemed a million miles away as he had to sit through Buffy interrogating him about what Don might say about her.
"For the last time, Buffy, I don't know whether or not Don thinks your hair is too blond," Andrew semi-grumbled at his boss as they pulled into the driveway. "We're here, so you can ask him yourself."
Throughout dinner, which turned out to be three large pizzas, Buffy kept glancing at Don, trying to divine what he thought about her hair and Don kept glancing at Buffy, trying to imagine what it would be like to run his fingers through her hair. In spite of their preoccupations, they managed to participate peripherally in the conversations around them. Charlie and Andrew were discussing Combinatorial Biology and the FBI agents were discussing tracking techniques with the other two scientists.
When only the brothers and the Council agents were left, Buffy and Don moved to the living room to avoid the two others' conversation. They had begun discussing ways of optimizing the production pathways of antivenins to the various toxins Andrew had collected from demons by decreasing the amount of time it takes to generate and improving their performance. Even without knowing about demons, Charlie was able to cite a few research studies done on the subject that sounded relevant to Andrew's work.
Buffy and Don sat on opposite ends of the couch, enjoying the lack of science conversation. Taking a few moments to build up her courage, Buffy finally asked, "Do you like my hair?"
Though it wasn't the best conversation starter ever, Buffy's question broke the flood gates. The two began talking about their lives with only a minimum of editing. Buffy told Don about how hard it had been to go back to college when her little sister was just about to start at the same place. Don sympathized and shared his stories about going to high school with Charlie. They both found comfort in the fact that they both had mothers that didn't deserve to die so young and fathers, or a father-figure in Buffy's case, who could dispense advice when they needed it.
As the time approached midnight, Charlie and Andrew didn't show signs of stopping their own conversation, and so Buffy snatched a DVD box-set from the shelf. On the front, there was a sticker that read, "Don's," in big letters along with a cartoon man, girl, and dog. Buffy heard Don mumbling something about thieving brothers as he squatted in front of the DVD player to insert the first disk.
Time went on, but neither of the two noticed that they had inched closer and closer together. As the second DVD reached the end, Buffy and Don were fast asleep, leaning against one another for comfort.
Don woke up and even before opening his eyes, he noticed that his side felt cold and his forehead felt sticky. Don pulled the blanket closer around his body before pulling a note away from his forehead. Thanking the gods in tape heaven that the tape wasn't attached to any of his hair, Don read the note.
Eppes,
I felt bad for taking your Gadget DVDs since I'm pretty sure you were sleep talking when you said I could have them. I figured I'd replace them with DVDs from my personal collection that I'd seen too many times. Enjoy the greatness that is Don Adams!
Summers
P.S. It's in front of the TV.
Don pulled his gaze from the note and settled on the carpet near the TV. Smiling, he muttered, "The old steat-a-box-set-of-DVDs-but-pretend-you-really-had-permission-and-then-replace-them-with-a-similar-but-not-quite-the-same-box-set-to-make-it-hard-to-complain-about-the-borrowing-that-was-actually-a-theft trick. How absolutely devious."
With a chuckle aimed at the woman he was slowly getting more and more attached to, Don stuck the first disk into the player and sat back on the couch for the perfect start to his day off.
A/N: I don't really like putting these in, but I thought some explanation was necessary. I haven't had much time lately since I just finished school (college!), been busy with work (tutoring!), am about to start school again (law school!) and I've felt entirely uninspired. I have the final part to this nearly ready as well, so you'll see that in a few days as a consolation prize for waiting so long. Happy... well, happy everything.
