Chapter Three: Decisions

He sank onto the soft mattress, running a hand through his oily hair. Today was just becoming too difficult. So many thoughts raced through his head in fast-forward. His head ached with an intensity higher than usual.

Severus continued to sit for only a few more moments. He then dragged himself to his feet and pulled a small cauldron out from under his nightstand. He opened a brown cabinet set into the stone wall and withdrew several jars filled with various herbs and whatnot. He set each one on a table, organized carefully in a neat row in the order which he would need them. Moss, marjoram, lemon, rosemary, potato, ginger root, Butterbur, and peppermint.

Right away, he filled the cauldron with water and (surprisingly) tea. He lit the cauldron to let the water-tea mixture heat.

With skilled hands, he quickly ground the dried moss into a fine powder in his mortar and pestle. He added a small quantity of marjoram into the moss. A pewter knife also found in the cupboard was used to separate three lemon slices from the rest, and he squeezed the juice of these into the moss and marjoram.

Letting that sit, Severus pulled the rosemary towards the pot, estimating how much was in the jar with hazy thoughts and then simply dumping the remainder into the cauldron. Using a separate dagger from the lemon one (this one was constructed of silver), he carefully cut the potato in half, replacing one half in the jar and extracting the juice from the other into the cauldron.

At this time, he added the lemon-soaked plant powder into the boiling cauldron before moving to the next task.

Using the silver dagger again, he diced the ginger root and added that to the pot. He eyed the depleting jar of Butterbur and frowned. His personal stock would be gone after this. What he was growing in his personal garden was now completely harvested. The only other place it was known to grow was in Germany. He would have to contact an acquaintance to restore it. He added it to the cauldron, stirring it clockwise three times and then counterclockwise twice. Finally, he dropped the peppermint leaves in.

The potion fizzed slightly, then flashed a blinding white before settling to a thin, deep blue.

Oddly, the seemingly plain combination of ingredients stunk to the high heavens. However, Severus was quite used to this by now, and he used his wand to ladle it into a large chalice. He refused to inhale the stench as he gulped it down; the taste was bland in comparison.

Within moments, the headache was cleared. However, the other pain, the one that had been nagging at the back of his mind, then crashed, the sensation like a sheet of glass put up against the Whomping Willow—disastrous.

Harry was here at Hogwarts.

Harry Potter was here at Hogwarts.

His entire life was dependent on decisions. Small ones—like the decision of how much rosemary to add to a headache-healing potion, the decision of how much Butterbur to order, and the decision of what to eat for breakfast.

And the larger ones, too. His decision to call her a Mudblood. His decision to become a Death Eater. His decision to reveal the prophecy to Voldemort. His decision to become a spy for Dumbledore. His decision to protect the boy.

This decision was his hardest yet, but he knew the answer.

Rushing to the door, Severus lifted his robes off the coat hook, hastily shoving his arms through the holes as he slammed the door behind him. His footsteps were hushed even on the stone floors, his small, hurried steps instinctively guiding him. He held no regard even for mischief-makers out of bed on the premier night of their first term.

Up the marble staircase, down several halls and up to the library…

He was almost there.

Slipping silently into the library, softly closing the door behind him…

There was barely meters between them.

Through the restricted section and now the final door…

He locked the door behind himself, and with a gasp of exasperation and a sigh of relief, he placed a hand on the mirror.

"Lily," he croaked. "Lily, I'm here…"

Author's Note: As of now, I'd like to thank the following people for their excellent and encouraging reviews, favorites, story alerts, and author alerts: Going Up, Excessivelyperky, Blondebunny55, An Uninteresting Name, Kaktusas87, Icecharmz, Very Small Prophet, Mooney93, and RedEyed Wolf-2nd. :3 The first people to like this story! Also, I'd like to thank Very Small Prophet one more time, because your review made me laugh so hard and made me immediately start writing chapter 2. Indeed, Dumbledore seems not to understand that he's making matters worse.

As this is my first good Harry Potter fanfiction (or so I think. I may rewrite a better version of my other one), I am very grateful at how successful I have found it to be so far.

I'd also like to thank Joanne Rowling for creating such an outstanding series. With over 400,000 fanfictions and 100,000 crossover fictions, I hope she's proud of the world she has created for us. Potternerds unite!

If I spoiled anything for any people reading this, I apologize, I should have put that in the summary. :I If you haven't read all of the books by now, though, shame on you.

The last person I'd like to thank is Regann. Her fanfiction Heart Over Mind has made me fall into an even deeper love with Severus Snape—which I had thought to be impossible. It is a Snape/Hermione fic, but it is hands down the most amazing fanfiction I have ever read. And, it has instilled within me a new favorite pairing, even moreso than Snape/Lily.

One final note, the ingredients in Snape's headache-ridding are thanks to Google. I searched "folk remedies for headaches." Some are for sinus headaches and some for migraines, but let's just say that our beloved Potions master doesn't know what kind of headache he's got.

If there is anything confusing about my fanfiction, please, please let me know. I apologize for the short chapters, I feel them necessary.

I love all of my fans!

-Sky, AKA The Apocalypse Lock