And though each step pains me considerably I drive to school the next day and I try to cover the bruises.
I fail miserably. The black eye is fairly prominent. And, the glass cut on my cheek is red and sore.
I barely step into homeroom when I feel the stares of the other students.
I hold my head up and glide to my desk because I know if I show anything other than confidence, the others will pounce mercilessly.
I do not let my false confidence falter.
False confidence.
That's all I have.
I catch whispers of the other students as I walk.
"I hear she's a-" says a 'popular' girl named Eve.
I suspect it ether ended with a Witch or Bitch, both names are used often.
They've used them so often that I can't be bothered to care anymore so I ignore the giggles and hushed voices and sit at my desk, biting back a groan of pain.
I close my eyes and tune out the rest of the world until I feel a pair of eyes burning a hole into me.
I let out a relieved sigh at the familiarity of it.
Gale.
I crack open an eye and shift my head slightly to the side.
Gale falls into my line of vision, a look of concern flashes on his face like a billboard ad.
I shift to face him, even though my body protests even the thought of moving.
"I'm fine." I lie.
"No you're not." he fusses.
"Yes I am." I counter persistently.
"Stop lying to me Catnip" he insists.
I throw and icy glare his way and he withers into his chair.
I nearly scoff.
Even my best friend can't look me in the eyes when I'm the slightest bit angry.
I shift my body to the front and cringe.
The pain between my legs is nearing unbearable.
Gale seems to get his spine back.
"What happened?" he asks and I cringe at the memory.
"She had one of her male friends over again." I say tonelessly.
"Not again. Did he-?" he teeters off the question.
This time I do scoff. "What do you think?" I almost snap at him, instead, I say it in a cool manner.
It happens every time her male friends visit.
"You have to fight back! I know you aren't that strong, but still, you need to try. I need to protect you." He finalizes.
I forcefully don't roll my eyes.
He irks me when he says shit like that. I want to tell him I'm not defenseless and that I sit upon years and years of training of all kinds. My dad was weird like that, he always had me training. Sometimes it was useless things like swordplay or knife throwing, other times it was useful stuff like shooting, bow and gun, and fighting.
I fight the smirk that wants to grow on my face.
My training is my best kept secret.
Not even Gale knows about it.
Defenseless my ass.
"I don't need to be protected." I say sternly.
He goes to retort but, the bell rings and homeroom begins as the teacher, Mr. Seeder, walks in.
"Class, I want you all to know that there will be a test today." He introduces.
I hear a rally of groans and other noises of disappointment.
He lets out a light chuckle.
"Don't worry!" He smiles a warm smile "This is a special test that is very simple. You see we will be…"
I tune him out and open my notebook to the very last page.
I mentally sigh in relaxation when my pencil hits the page, continuing the drawing of a detailed face with a lantern next to it.
After a few strokes, I feel compelled to add more.
And more.
And more.
I would have kept drawing if the school bitch, Cashmere, hadn't walked by and hit my shoulder.
My arm jolts and I hear a tearing and a high pitched giggle.
I nearly groan and look down at the paper to assess the damage.
I let out an angry breath when I see the large rip through the middle.
It's not worth saving.
I shoot a glare at Cashmere's back.
I know she feels my anger because she stiffens.
I look down at my paper again and notice that the once serene girl's face was now twisted in fear.
I shake my head and crumple it up into a ball.
So much for that.
I focus back to my teacher.
"Now!" he says gleefully "This is Wiress Dorlia, the test's proctor."
A beautiful woman of about thirty stepped into the room.
Her copper hair was held in a complicated up do and her brown and bronze dress suit reminded me of an oiled machine.
She smiled serenely.
"Hello, This test is to see how well your body and mind function." She says informatively. "Now, if you would all follow me." she gesture towards the door but, her gaze lingers on me.
Her eyes remind me of a wise old owl.
I hold her gaze as I slowly stand and walk towards her.
She gives me a knowing smile and follows me out.
I catch up to Gale and we walk together.
"Why did she do it this time? What set her off?" he questions, making sure not to look at me.
"I had a dream about Cato" I said quietly.
He groans.
"Not again Katniss! Cato isn't real! He never was. You have to stop thinking about him. He is imaginary and all 'he' does is cause you pain." He raises his voice a bit.
"Shut it. He is real." I growl quietly
"No. He. Isn't. Katniss." He pronounces every word solely and perfectly.
"Yes he is." I retort.
"Don't be stupid Katniss! You need to let go of Cato; he never existed. Mags found you on that sidewalk. Not him." He tries to put a hand on my shoulder but, I deftly move away.
"Get away from me." I say coldly.
He leaves quickly.
I wait for the crowd to pass before I start walking again an odd feeling of being watched surrounds me but, I ignore it as best as I can.
He is real.
He is real.
He is real.
I keep saying that over in my head but Gale's words still penetrate my skull.
He isn't real.
He isn't real.
He Is!
He isn't!
The two voices battle in my mind and my vision blurs as I begin to doubt my own mind.
Cato is the only thing I've believed in since that day.
I want to find him and say thank you.
But, now I'm doubting myself.
I feel the fabric of my own reality begin to tear as I begin to lose my belief.
I keep walking as my eyes slowly close.
He isn't
He isn't
He isn't
He isn't!
"He is" I hear a voice say softly.
But, it's not in my head.
I snap my eyes open and I see the fabric of Wiress' long coat flutter behind her as she walks speedily after the others.
Is he?
