Once again, the TARDIS materialized on Hogwarts grounds. However, everything looked slightly different. Small things, like the colour of the grass (more yellow) or the size of the lake (smaller).
The Doctor didn't exit however, he turned to River Song, "Just give me a moment. I should probably change first." He walked out of the console room and down one of the corridors.

River frowned. The Doctor never bothered changing out of his tweed suit and bow-tie. He returned in a few minutes, looking absolutely ridiculous in a pair of baggy black pants, a baggy black t-shirt, and an extremely baggy black leather jacket. He paused, scratched his back, and then pulled off a clothes tag with a large number 9 on it. Rver was absolutely speechless for a few moments, and then she burst out laughing.

"You... you look like a punk! Please don't tell me that's eyeliner!"

"Well, I was hoping you would say 'goth', but punk might do the trick. Anyway, I'll have you know I looked very fetching in this about two hundred years back."
He pressed a few keys on the console, and a picture of a short haired man with a prominent nose and ears wearing the same outfit (minus the eyeliner) popped up on a nearby screen.

"Well... that is quite nice. The ears are a bit funny though." Then she looked back at the current Doctor, and burst out laughing once again.


The Dr stroled out of the tardis and made his way towerd a group of goffs in blak t shirts and holy jeans, who were laughing at a prep in a pink swetshirt. River stroled behind him, still chrotling.
"Hey, u know its not nice to make fun of ppl" the dr was angy.
"Dr, wot's going on wif us?" river asked, turning pal.
"Its the sue, she must be nearbye"

Dr who taped on the sholder of one of da goffs. He terned around and it was...
"Hary Potter!" River was shoked. He had same face as the boy on the scren in the tardis, and glases, but with red streks in his hare, red eyes and his scar was a pentagram. the amount of eyeline'r made the dr look tame.
"mi name's not harry, its vampire potter. wats rong with u stupid prep!

"omg" river was shoked into silence(silence, geddit?). "dr how did the sue do this mcuh?"
"that's the thing. They dont have full mastry over r languages, and it spreads. some r worse than others." the dr replied, "see, u an me r already talking strange, its 1 of the first symtoms, but normally not so strong. must be a powerful sue, and i think its..her
He ponted at a goff girls. Sudenly his eyes glazed over and he said, "shes the 1 with long ebony black hair with purple streaks and red tips that reach her mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and she looks a bit like Amy Lee...Amy! Amelia!"


Suddenly the Doctor was alert. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a plastic utensil and charged straight at the girl with ebony hair. Her droopy blue eyes immediately narrowed as she spotted the "weapon" in his hand, and she suddenly screamed, "oms! every1 hes not a goff hes just a poser!"
The entire group, minus the crying girl in the pink sweater, immediately ran at the Doctor, trying to stop him from getting any closer to the 'girl' they all adored. Even River, her eyes hazy, took a few half-hearted steps in the Doctor's direction before realizing what she was doing.

The Mary Sue's voice was just a hiss, but the Doctor had struggled his way close enough to be able to hear. "theres no way u can stop me...timelord!"

"Don't you understand? You're far too powerful for a human, or even wizard society! You get the whole school under your thumb and then what? What about this Dark Lord? Take a look at what you've done to the real Chosen One!" Vampire Potter had seized the Doctor's jacket with his teeth and was yanking at it.

The Sue smiled, "oh the schools just the beginig timelord. And we have temporal powres as u know. I know i will defeat the dork lord"

"Do you really? How far does this future knowledge of yours go? You are about to kill the Dark Lord, then the rest is undecided, still in flux. So do you really know what will happen? You could die. I'm offering a way back home instead."

The alien hesitated, then snarled, "wat else cud happen? theres no way im going back. I am stayin, and u will die."

Suddenly, a blast echoed through the air, and everyone save the Doctor backed away, startled. River had just fired a bolt from her gun into the air.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said quietly, looking the creature right in the icy blue eye, "But you just lost the luxury of choice."
He thrust out his arm, the Spork made contact with the Sue's shoulder, and both vanished in a sudden burst of white light and a shriek of fury.


"What on earth..."

"Merlin's pants, did I really.."

"What am I wearing?"

The Doctor coughed loudly, and everyone stopped talking to look at him. "Well, erm, I'm not very good at this, but you all have had a very traumatic experience. However, not to worry, since I've cleared up the temporal disruption, your timeline should slowly rejoin the Prime, and you really don't get what I'm saying, so just know everything will be back to normal in no time."

A girl whose hair was turning slowly from black to a natural bushy brown raised her hand, "Actually, I do have a grasp of basic temporal mechanics, thanks to the time turner I once had."

"A time turner eh?" The Doctor smiled. "You seem very interested in time travel, and intelligent too. How would you like to-"
River cut him off with a glare.

"Well... never mind" The Doctor winked at the girl before leaving. "Perhaps some other time."


The Doctor held open the TARDIS door for River, and followed her in. No sooner had he shut the door when the question popped out of his mouth.
"So... wasn't that fun?"

River sighed. "Before I answer, please change out of those clothes and promise me you will never, ever wear them again."


A/N: First Mary Sue vanquished! I know, it was Ebony from the infamous My Immortal. While I will try to use original Sues in most of the other chapters, this was an opportunity too good to pass. My Immortal is universally recognized as either reallybad!fic or troll!fic, making it fair game either way. Which universe should the Doctor and River visit next? Tell me in the comments, please!
TwentyRings
P.S: do u no how dificult it is to pul of writin like this intentionaly? it nerly gave me a hedache.