CHAPTER THREE
Earlier... much earlier...
"Tell me again you know where we are."
"I know where we are."
"Riiiiiiigggggggght. You have no clue. Geez, we are so lost."
"And just what gives you that idea, XO?"
"Uh, because this is the second time we've passed this same fountain, Signore Capitano?"
"Mr. Morton, are you questioning my navigational abilities? I'll have you know-"
Chip held up both hands. "Stow it. I know all about your good grades in Navigation. God knows I've heard you mention them often enough. You might be able to find your way around the Severn River but your abilities in this Italian town leave a lot to be desired."
His friend's mock scowl forced an admission, accompanied by a reluctant grin.
"Okay, you've got me there."
Lee slumped against the fountain's stone foundation, avoiding the wet spots where the water splashed over the sides. He put a hand to his head. With Admiral Nelson absent it was up to the boat's CO and XO to carry on the time-honored naval traditions of fostering good will and friendly relations among allies. The evening had been one long night of eating, and drinking, and speeches. Lots of speeches. And lots of the local vino. It was past midnight when he and Chip headed for the door, handshakes all around, pleased with how the visit was already going. Lee had even indulged in visions of hitching a ride to Rome and visiting a girl he knew who was teaching at St. George's.
The good mood soon soured. Turning down the townsmen's offer of a ride back proved to be a very bad idea. After a few minutes of taking a road they thought led to town (they had been escorted to a large villa high on a hill in a hearse-like car belonging to one of the local bigwigs, and neither paid too much attention to their surroundings) both men owned up to the fact they were lost. Lee wasn't sure they had even come off the hill in the right direction, for the short and twisty streets they'd reached were unfamiliar. After this last time of Chip complaining, "We've crossed this intersection before," Lee agreed it was time to look for help. The carload of Pendio police showed up shortly thereafter.
"Gentlemen, gentlemen, signori! Siamo contenti di vederti!" Lee cried. He was glad to see them; that he received nothing but angry glares in return didn't set in right away. "Can you point us in the direction of the Seaview?"
And that's when things went very wrong...
"Lee, Lee, slow down! I didn't catch but a word or two from what they said in the car to you. What are we supposed to have done?"
Ignoring the attempt by one of the Italian officers to get his attention for another round of arguing, Lee rounded on Chip, hands clinched. He could feel the heat in his face.
"They're accusing us of stealing a statue from one of the local churches!"
"What? When did we have time to go into a church? We were too busy tramping up and down half the streets in town to go into a church! And where are we supposed to be hiding this statue? Neither you or I have anything stuck down our pants!"
"You're telling me, Chip. All I know is they think we stole it. I'm trying to remember how to say 'pig headed' in Italian. It'll come to me. This estimable gentleman" - he indicated the uniformed police officer seated at the desk in front of them - "intends to make this an international incident, apparently."
They had been hustled into a car and driven to what Lee determined was the main police station of the town. Along the way he silently thanked the ONI directive to become conversant in as many foreign languages as possible. Whatever this was about, and he still wasn't at all sure, he was giving as good as he got.
The police officer finally stood up from his desk and faced outwards, fingertips on the desktop. He was almost as tall as Lee. The dark suit he wore was one of expensive design. The cut was exceptional, and only by knowing where to look could Lee see the slight bulge where a shoulder holster hung underneath the coat. No amateur, then. It was going to be harder to talk their way out of this one, even if what they were telling was the truth.
A finger went into the air, came down and ran across the neat mustache.
"My name is Lorenzo Masella. I have just been appointed a senior ispettore for Pendio, and yours is the first case I have been given the charge of. I intend to make a very good job of it. As a guest of the Italian Government, Captain Crane, I trust you are ashamed of yourself at this moment." His English was excellent.
Great. The new guy. Lee fixed the detective with the steeliest gaze he could manage. "All my XO and I have done is drink a lot of your wine and talk too loudly on our way back to the boat. And get lost," Lee added with a grimace. "If a crime has been committed, it sure as hell wasn't us! Ask the Mayor! Fine hospitality you've shown!"
Masella shook his head from side to side. "I do not need the interference of our esteemed Mayor! As senior ispettore," he drew himself up, "I have complete authority in this matter. We will accept your word you were playing a prank, if you will tell me what you did with the statue. Such a stupid trick, stealing from a church! I would have expected better from the captain of the Seaview."
"NOW WAIT A MINUTE!" Lee and Chip yelled in unison.
Their outburst caused several of the officers in the room to move a hand to the weapons at their side. Grabbing hold of Chip, who had taken a step forward, Lee got his emotions under control.
"Why don't you run this past me again? It didn't make any sense the first time, but I'm willing to listen."
Masella's frown deepened before Lee stopped talking. "Your sarcasm is out of place, signore. But no matter. Perhaps too much to drink, eh? I will talk slower." Lee's face flushed, but he kept silent. "The door of La Chiesa di San Francesco is always open. The many candles we light keep the interior very bright, and the statue of the Blessed Virgin can be seen from the doorway. She was there earlier this evening, we have the word of Father Fermi. She is gone now."
"What a load of - " Lee stopped, realizing he was starting to shout again. He didn't want to aggravate the situation. "That may be," he began again, modulating his voice, "but it wasn't us who stole it!"
"So you say, but who else? The citizens of Pendio are law abiding, they would not commit such a crime."
"Which means it could only be a visitor to your town. It doesn't matter that we were too busy trying to figure out where we were to go into any kind of church. And unless we're magicians and know the art of making something disappear, neither myself or Mr. Morton here were carrying anything when your men stopped us. And most of all, it won't matter that we are United States naval officers and doing anything like you've described brings dishonor down on us and our country."
Masella's eyes had gone hard. "It will not matter, sir, because no one else has been observed in a part of town where they should not be. I would advise you to say nothing further, Captain. Your admiral has been sent for."
"Not that we need his help, but it's about time you sent for the admiral, we've been here for hours. He'll have something to say about all this," Lee retorted.
"You have not been here for - never mind. You should not have done what you did. It will go very badly for you. You are in my country now, Signore. I am in charge and will show everyone that Lorenzo Masella is a most capable policeman!"
"And I think that is what this is all about. Some beef you've got with somebody else, not us."
Masella turned away and sat behind his desk, ignoring Lee's exasperated sigh. Lee flopped down on one of the hard wooden chairs littering the place, folded his arms and confronted Chip, face flushed. Chip sat down opposite him, forearms on his thighs, their heads close together.
"Who had time to steal anything?" Chip whispered between clenched lips. He had his cover in his hands, and with nervous energy was twirling it between his fingers.
Lee's eyes went to the clock on the wall above the inspector's head. The hand ticking off the seconds was making its inevitable journey from point to point. He was tempted to reach out and snatch it away. He wanted to throw it across the room, grab up his hat from where it sat on Masella's desk and walk out. There wasn't much chance of that right at the moment, not if the expression on the Italian officers' faces was any indication.
"I've tried that tack, but he's not buying it, Chip. I think we may have gotten involved in a little internal politics here. The Inspectorseems to be at odds with his worship the mayor. I didn't see Masella at the reception tonight, did you?"
"Nope. I'd have remembered if we'd met this guy."
"Me too. Maybe he didn't get an invite or refused to attend, either way he's determined to make us pay for it. He's flexing his judicial muscles and not willing to contemplate an alternative explanation. We'll just have to wait it out and see what Admiral Nelson has to say about all this when he gets here."
"Mind if I make sure I'm standing behind you when he does?"
He couldn't help it. Much as Lee wanted to keep his lips clamped together, seeing Masella's dark look, they refused to cooperate. The chuckle started down in his throat and soon he was laughing aloud, and after a few moments, Chip joined in.
"You find something funny about all this, do you?"
Lee left his laughter die down naturally and then spoke. "Yes, I do, Inspector. When you figure out your mistake the laugh will be on you, and not on us."
Masella's anger at being chastised so blatantly was palpable and he relieved it by issuing barking orders to the assembled cohort of officers who immediately straightened up and concentrated their attention on the two suspects.
"Careful, Lee," Chip said quietly.
"Yeah, I know, but this guy is getting my goat," Lee whispered back.
"Just take it easy until Admiral Nelson gets here, okay?"
Lee gave a couple of quick nods.
Chip sighed and stretched out on the uncomfortable chair. "I thought about making you stop and ask somebody for directions, but everything looked pretty closed up to me. And I know how you feel about asking for help. No, don't make that face, you know what I'm talking about. What I didn't know was we'd eventually need a witness. I was too busy trying to figure out where the hell we were!"
"I heard that, signori," Masella said, his head coming up. "That is what your capitano has been telling us, he has said it many times already. We Italians have a saying. I will translate: 'He who talks the most says the least.' So it is with you, I think."
"The Italians don't have any such saying. You just made that up."
Masella grunted and looked like he'd been caught at something. "Perhaps I did, Captain. In any event, the fact is the statue is missing and only your crew has come ashore."
"And everybody living in Pendio is guaranteed to be above suspicion. Inspector Masella, I say again: No man in my crew is in the habit of stealing religious artifacts from churches, especially us."
The inspector shrugged and went back to his papers while the police officers around them muttered under their breath, every so often throwing dark looks at the two Americans. It was obvious where their sympathies lay. This from the same men who greeted the submarine so happily earlier in the day.
Lee glared at the uniformed men and declared, "Non essere troppo rapido giudicare!" The muttering policemen scowled back but moved away.
At Chip's inquiring look, Lee translated. "I just told them not to be too quick to judge."
"Ahh," was all the reply Chip thought necessary.
