I'm sorry this was so late! I've been moving and its been pretty hellish... This chapter is kinda short and cheesy but its better than nothing? I'll try to update sooner but I've had the worst writers block
"Lapis, you have a visitor." Rose interrupts the group to pull said girl out.
Its her third day. She's earned her clothes back by now, and is on level two, giving her more privilege. Rose unlocks the door leading to the lobby where her dad is waiting. "Hey, Lazoomerboobie." He greets her jokingly.
"Shut up." She smiles, giving him a hug. "Just because Peri called me that, doesn't mean you should."
"I know, I know." They walk into a small review room used for private visits. "I got you this stress ball at the gift shop." He hands her a small blue balloon filled with sand with the words 'get well soon' on the front of it.
"Thanks." She says, sitting down in a chair.
"Yep… So… how are you doing? Any better?"
"Yeah, a lot, actually. My plan of not making friends has failed, though." Lapis squeezes the ball.
"Why don't you wanna make friends?" He sits down across from her.
"After this, we're not allowed to have any contact. So if I make a friend, I'll never see them again. And I've made friends. Which is shitty."
He nods. "I get it. Wouldn't want to see one of them in public and have them going off about all of this."
Lapis nods. "Its actually really peaceful here. I mean, even though we're talking about suicide and self harm all day, it's still calm. I expected it to be more like it is on tv. Like with straight jackets and rooms made of pillows."
"Yeah."
They both go silent for a while.
"Lapis, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you-"
"Stop. Don't say that, this isn't your fault." As soon as the nice atmosphere appeared, it disappeared. And now all Lapis can think about is how much this probably hurt him. "I-I'm sorry… That I did this to you…You didn't need this. You don't need me…"
"Lapis, of course I need you. Sure, this is pretty hard for me, but I imagine it's even worse for you. But don't think for a second that I dont need you. I already lost your mom, and I'm not going to lose you too."
Lapis stares down at the ball in her hands. Wondering what to say but mostly just wanting to go back to her room. After this group is another one and she's probably going to skip it. The longer the silence fills the air, the more she wants to disappear. So she changes the subject. "I need more clothes, if you could bring some next time."
"Alright. I'll bring some over tomorrow. I have to go back to work soon."
"Okay… Thanks for coming…"
They hug and go their separate ways.
*:・゚✧ ✧゚・: *
Her door is wide open because she didn't bother to shut it. The hall is quiet and there's no one else in their rooms but her. Standing in the middle of her room, she stares out the window in the corner. I need to cut… She scratches at her wrist as her breathing becomes heavier.
"We'll come check on you after this group so you can get back to work." One of the nurses says.
Across the hall, the nurse walks away after unlocking Pearl's door for her. She doesn't thank him or say anything like she usually does. She just walks in a little bit and casts her head down. Lapis looks at her for a while before noticing that she's shaking. No, she's crying. Lapis sticks her head out of her room, hoping she doesn't get caught. "Pearl, what's wrong?"
She turns around, eyes pink from crying, motions her over. We're both gonna get in trouble… But nevertheless, she runs across the vacant hall and stands in the doorway of the others room. "Whats wrong?"
Pearl takes a deep breath. "I… I can't tell you…"
"Why? If it's a secret, I can keep it. Thats probably the only thing I'm good at." She mumbles the last part.
"Well… I suppose it would be nice telling someone who isn't payed to listen…" Her tears are beginning to dry. "Please don't tell anyone. Even when you're out because if the word gets back to me I-"
"Just tell me." Lapis huffs.
"I'm… I'm really gay." She nearly laughs. "But my parents are homophobic assholes. They want people who are gay to just fucking die and they don't know I'm one. And… My therapist thought it would be a good idea for me to come out to them…"
"What'd they say?"
"I was going to tell them today but then I realized how much they talk about eliminating gay people. And I… They'll disown me and my whole family will hate me. I didn't tell them but it just sucks knowing that your family is going to hate the real you. That I can never be myself with them…" Pearl isn't laughing or smiling anymore. "I just really want to get off of insight because that's what I think about all day. They make me write essays on how it makes me feel or what would happen if I did come out to them. At least in groups I can talk about issues I can fix."
Lapis thinks for a moment. "What about your one group a day thing?"
"They put me back on ground level insight. I can't go to any groups."
"Why? It's not really helping you at this point?"
Pearl sighs and pulls up her sleeves. Its not just scars anymore that Lapis had glanced at on occasion. It puffy red scratches, some successfully broke skin but most of them just left marks. "I didn't know they were going to do another body check. I've never wanted to die more than I do right now and it's ridiculous."
"I feel you."
"Can I hug you?" Pearl asks.
"Uhm… sure? I just don't want to get caught." Before she finishes, Pearl clings to her. Lapis hesitates before hugging her back, not realizing how much she missed hugging other people.
The two stand there for a while before Pearl moves away. "Group is almost over. They'll be checking on us soon."
Lapis nods before going back to her room. Not looking back at Pearl who she hadn't noticed had a huge blush across her cheeks.
