A/N: This probably is a load of rubbish. Oh well. Thanks, as always, to everyone with the immense patience it must take to read and review.

Sarah x


Edward watched Serena as she pulled herself together. He hated doing this to her; he could see it eating away at her inside. He did, however, think it was high time someone explained to Serena what had gone one behind her back. He accepted the well-meaning in Adrienne's protection, but it had to end at some point. Serena was in danger of going down the same road as Andrew had, and Edward would do anything in his power to stop that happening.

Serena had always loved wine, and so had he, but while he at least tried to be responsible with it, when she went off the rails, a bottle was the first place she crawled to. In a sick irony she had done it when Andrew died, and Edward had forced himself to remain in control of his tongue.

He only understood how far away her mind actually was when she allowed his fingers to run through her soft dark hair. She was letting him in and blocking him out at the same time. It was a habit she had sustained most of her life, and it never failed to drive Edward up the wall.

She leaned forward and hid her face with her hands. So much for pulling herself together. Edward followed the first instinct to kneel down in front of her and force her hands from her cheeks. "Don't crucify yourself," he said to her. "OK?"

"How could I not notice?!" she asked of him. He didn't have the answer. He didn't know how Serena managed to ignore it. "How could I fail to notice that my dad had a drinking problem? I'm a doctor, for God's sake!"

Edward sighed and leaned his forehead against her knee for a moment. He didn't know how to explain it to her. For years he had watched her live her life, climb the career ladder, raise her child, love, hate and divorce her husband and ultimately pay little attention to her parents. That was how she hadn't noticed. Between Adrienne and Andrew hiding it and Serena being too absorbed in what her own life was becoming to see what her old life really was.

When he looked up, tears were streaming down her face. He feared he might actually have broken her. If anything had ever remained constant with Serena, it was her love for her child and parents. He had just told her one of those things was not what it had seemed for the majority of her life. He should have realised that even Serena could not take that without hurting.

Taking her hand gently, he replied, "Serena, they hid it. They hid it well so you could grow up with a normal, happy childhood. How were you meant to know?" Her dark eyes flooded over again,; the affinity he had had once shared with her suddenly returned now that she needed him too much to mistrust him. He could feel her reaching out to him with cautious reluctance, only because he held the information she needed.

"I'm his daughter," she explained. "I'm supposed to know my dad!"

"You did know him," Edward insisted. "You knew the man he allowed you to see. He loved you so much. That's why he made sure you never knew." He rubbed the top of her arm softly, trying to comfort her and curb the silent tears. "You can't know something you've never seen."

She wasn't accepting his reasoning, and he hadn't really expected her to. Persuading Serena of anything was a task and a half, but something like this might be damn near impossible. He reached around to the shelf under the coffee table and handed her some tissues. She didn't take them. Instead she turned away from him and tried to hide her pain; it was unmistakable to him that she was actually in pain.

Edward placed his palm on her went cheek and turned her head around, wiping away her tears with a tissue. He could feel her eyes locked with his, passing their feelings back and forth along one track between them.

He was baffled when her fingers traced his cheekbone. Why was she suddenly reciprocating his care?

"See, I actually like you when you're like this," she confessed quietly. It was completely bizarre to hear her say such a thing. Instantly he decided it was just the drink and the anguish talking. "Why can't you be like this all the time?"

"Hey," he protested. "I'm a nice guy!"

"Of course you are," she drawled at him. He heard the sarcasm and had to smile.

Shock paralysed him as her lips crashed into his. What was she playing at?! Had fifteen years of guarded animosity just gone down the drain? The paralysis seeped away slowly. Instinctively he kissed her back. She was his wife. In his heart, she always would be. But then he realised why she was doing this and his conscience forced him back, his hand still resting on the side of her neck. "No. No, Serena. You're too..." he trailed away as he attempted to find the right words. "You're in too much pain. I won't take advantage, especially when I'm the one that put you in this state."

"How terribly moral of you," she sneered angrily. He was taken aback by the sudden anger. "Never stopped you before."

It was a fair enough point, but he had his reasons. For one, Serena meant too much to him, even in their separated and strained state. Her eyes were glassy and distant, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what was really going on behind them. He knew her well enough to know she was finding a way to torment herself.

"Do you want a cuddle?" he offered her with a smile. Though she never admitted it, he knew Serena secretly loved to be in the secure warmth of someone else's arms. She stood up quite shakily and stepped forward into his embrace. "I'm sorry for telling you all this. I'm sorry that it's hurting you. But I think it's time someone told you the truth."

"I never thought you would be the one to step up and tell me," she admitted cynically. He smiled gently and kissed her head, unable to stop himself feeling every emotion under the sun for her. He knew she wasn't going to let this go, and he was rather glad. She needed to pursue the truth from the right people. There were things he hadn't told her, things that weren't his place to talk about. Things she needed to ask Adrienne about. And then there were things Edward had been told about, seen and dealt with that he felt she couldn't know. He was cautious of what she could safely know.

Her arms were around his waist. It felt almost like they were married again, even if only for a moment. Like she had learned to lean on him again.

He was reminded of what it was like to actually be there for someone. He hadn't been there for anyone for a long time. Not really. He had forgotten that he was not the centre of the Earth and that there were more important things than what he wanted. But at the moment he knew he was there for Serena, and wished he had always been there for her. That he had never been stupid or weak. That he was something better than human.

But he was only human and he had to pay the price. He wasn't the only one who had paid the price, either. Both Serena and Eleanor had paid for his weak humanity. Andrew's humanity had killed him, and now Serena was paying the price for it in the form of heartache and tears. He couldn't help cursing the man but he could at least understand it.

"You know he loved you, don't you?" Edward asked quietly. "The fact he was an alcoholic doesn't mean he loved you any less than you thought he did. He was so proud of you. Anyone who would listen, it was 'Serena this' and 'Serena that.' He loved you more than anything else in the world."

"Except alcohol, it would seem," Serena snapped. He saw why she would have thought that but Edward knew that Andrew had never loved alcohol. The man had always remained decent enough to loathe the thing that had such a bitter and brutal hold over him. Edward had watched him when he was drinking and, to him at least, it was clear that he resented it greatly.

"Needing something isn't the same as loving it."

She was holding herself tightly to him. He hadn't expected her to lay herself so bare. She was letting him in past her first line of defence. Her shield was broken and he had a feeling he knew why; not only had he shocked her, but he hadn't walked away. He was still here. By his own internal admission, causing a mess and walking away was an unfortunate talent of his.

He felt her lips against his neck but he was having none of it while she was vulnerable and drunk; again, he blamed the combination of pain and alcohol for her behaviour and would not succumb to it. He had long learned from his own mistakes that a temporary love could have permanent consequences for the ones he really did love. He didn't want to make such a mistake again.

He made his intentions clear as he changed his stance, his hand now on the back of her head. "You need to sleep," he accused gently. He felt the emotional exhaustion radiating from her body. She didn't deny it, much to his surprise and relief.

"I know," she sighed. He released her and examined her face. It was stained with a mix of teardrops and make up, and tainted white by shock and exhaustion. She was no less beautiful in his eyes, though, and definitely no weaker. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for having the guts to tell me the truth. At least now I know why you've always been so touchy about my drinking habits."

He simply smiled slightly at her. She was an impossible woman but when she had been softened by touch or by circumstance, she was very much a lovable person. "I just think you've got the right to know," he explained, pushing her hair out of her eyes with one finger. "You're a big girl now."

Serena let out a soft huff of a laugh. "It's not fair," she said. She almost sounded childish. "I thought my family was normal."

Edward laughed. "Believe me. There's no such thing as a normal family," he smiled. He patted her cheek lightly and added, "I'd better go. I'm in at eight in the morning."

She nodded. "Goodnight, Edward," she said. Her voice was hoarse, barely louder than a whisper.

"Goodnight, Serena. Don't let the bed bugs bite," he smirked.

"You're the only bed bug I've ever known," she quickly retorted. He laughed, coaxing a little smile out of her.

He left her house and tried to explain to himself how all that had come about. He couldn't understand exactly what had possessed him to point out to Serena that her dad was drunk in just about every family photo. For whatever naïve reason, he had expected Serena to take it and move on, but she seemed to have taken the realisation quite badly. Worse than he predicted, anyway. Her reaction had been to cry, which was a response never easily extracted from her.

She was acting very strange, and the more he thought on it as he started the engine, the more unnerving it was. She had kissed him, for crying out loud. Fifteen years of hating him and she goes and kisses him. He was having a hard time dissecting that one action into Serena's idea of solid logic.

Edward sighed. His big mouth had always been the source of trouble.


Hope this is OK!
Please feel free to leave me a review and tell me what you think!
Sarah x