It had taken Emma a month of being in this town to get the once captain of the Jolly Roger and current owner of her heart to ask her on a date, and it didn't take longer than a few weeks later that Emma was feeling pretty confident in herself.
She had gotten him to talk about his career in the military on the first date, which brought up the story of his hand, that it had been taken whilst he was in captivity and considered dead after a surprise attack. He had been able to escape after 6 months in the dark and dreary jungles, and found his way to a small village, commandeered a boat and traveled to the nearest base. After a while in a psych counseling encampment and hospital in Germany he was shipped back to the states with an honorable discharge and more medals than he knew what to do with.
She had told him of her time as a bail bonds woman and her now current job as Sherriff in a small town in Maine, she was here on business training at an academy in some town nearby. She talked about how she did actually have a son back at her home, and that he loved sailing, something Emma was really not good at. That got his attention as he talked of how he loved sailing as well, it was a favorite past time with his brother. It was a good time as they ate and danced at some restaurant, and when he walked her home she linked her arm with his and kissed him on the cheek goodbye.
He called her the next day to ask if she was coming by his restaurant that evening, he made her the food and dropped by the bar often to talk to her, he asked her out again for later that week.
In between the dates she was at his restaurant every night, getting a free meal with the only cost being great manners, talking up his food to the patrons, and conversing with his lonely self when he was in between tasks.
The second date was a actually on a small sailboat that he had rented for the occasion. He took her out sailing in the sound in the afternoon and they ended up floating near a beach drinking beer and lounging in their swim gear. Emma found it harder to call him James when they were out at sea, she was reminded of the man he used to be, the man she was desperately missing.
The discussion was of their hopes and dreams, he talked of how he didn't even really like the restaurant business he was more of biding his time and creating a financial base so that he could buy his own boat, after that he was going to outsource the business so he still made the paycheck but didn't have to run the business so he could stay on the sea forever away from people, and away from the nightmares. She told him of how she really never wanted to be the Sherriff, that she had actually done time once for her criminal behaviors, something he laughed at the irony of. She just wanted to be surrounded by people that she loved and not be focused on risking her life to save others. She wanted more time with Henry.
He showed her on the way home how to steer the ship, and as he was pressed up close to him as he guided her hands and spoke softly in her ear for what to watch for she just breathed in the smell of him- still that salty ocean spray mixed with rum, the only thing missing the feel of the leather.
He kissed her later after dinner, as she was lightly pressed into the door of her room at the motel, and Emma melted against him, hoping against all hopes that he would remember her when she opened her eyes, but he was still there- James, so alike to Killian, but just not him.
She wasn't going to give up.
They watched Movies, he made her dinner, they had multiple instances where they were caught up in each other and were alone that she could just let down her barriers and give everything that she had to this man. But she always stopped them, excuses of that she wanted him to meet Henry before they did anything else, she was afraid, telling him she cared for him but she needed to be in love with him- it was truth though. She wasn't in love with James like she was with Killian.
But she definitely liked this version of him a lot, he was kind sweet tender, she missed the innuendos but the lighthearted humor was refreshing. She found herself almost being okay with who he was now.
So she always stopped them from going that next step, because she would hate herself forever for giving up to her desire for James when all she really needed was to express and experience those feelings with Killian, the man who had no idea of his past or who he was anymore, locked up in James.
She finally asked him to take her home to Storybrooke, she would drive, he could take the train home, they could figure out this whole long distance relationship thing.
Henry played his role well of not knowing who James was, and they got along great, the whole town loved James, they wanted to spend time with him, and his short visit got longer and longer day by day. He didn't want to leave and Emma didn't want him to either.
(She had made sure before she left Storybrooke to get that stupid wall around the town down so she could get her love home, and it was successful as now the town was beginning to go outside and make trips and shop and gain tourism with other towns in the area.)
One day as he was talking with Granny about the prospects of him opening a second business in town, and her feelings on his restaurant and business ideals, she was talking with Regina and Mary Margret and Regina and her mother asked her why James was still James.
"Well the answer is obvious of course," Regina said without looking towards Mary Margret and continuing to watch James at the counter laughing with Granny and Ruby over something that sounded vaguely like…potatoes? "True loves kiss could work now of course because James is in love with Emma, however, the problem now is Emma."
"What? What problem is me?" Emma was close to punching Regina across the table because it was Regina who also had a hand in this predicament.
"James wont remember Killian because Emma doesn't want Hook truly back in her heart. She likes this James version of the pirate better, it has no drama or baggage, and he loves her. If she keeps him James, she doesn't have to face her mistakes."
The women were stunned into silence by Regina and Emma felt her whole heart stop, it was true. She didn't want to have Killian's memories returned because she was pretty sure that the second that they were back Killian would remember just how much she broke his heart and leave her like everyone else.
Just like he did in the past when she broke his heart.
HE would ask her questions, she would have to explain how long she didn't look for him, how she only really started when her dad and henry had found the clues, how she hadn't looked for him when he disappeared at first, and of course the reasons for why she broke his heart in the first place- he would remember exactly why he forgot.
And what if he wanted to forget her again?
