Shiki would tell him it's a bad idea.
Shiki would tell him it's a bad idea, and that Joshua's killed him before, and that Neku can't trust him, and she might even be right. Neku wouldn't want her to be right, and is pretty sure Joshua's better than that (better than what? Better than shooting him a third time and making it three for three? Even his mental impression of Shiki's great at knocking off his rose-colored glasses -), but that's what good friends do. They help keep you from making bad decisions.
Trouble is, even knowing the decision's bad and that there is really, honestly, a lot more risk than reward in doing whatever the hell Joshua and Mr Hanekoma have planned, even if it looks mostly okay …
… Neku still wants to consider it.
And maybe he's trying to justify what shouldn't even be thought about, but really: if he can't trust Joshua to be decent if the unthinkable happens, could he really have kept living in Shibuya anyway? Joshua is Shibuya, or at least the fucked up underworld side of it; if his wary friendship with him went that foul, Neku'd probably have to move anyway.
That … doesn't make him feel any better. Actually, that probably makes it worse.
God is he glad he's going to live on campus. It's far enough he'll get some space from Joshua, space that isn't reliant on the honor system, while still being in Tokyo, so he can return to the streets he loves any time he wants.
Darkly, he waits a few seconds to see if he notices Joshua's presence. Nothing. Maybe he really is usually leaving Neku's thoughts to himself. It'd be great if it's true: something that Neku knows for sure that's his own without Joshua's elegant fingers in it.
Still nothing. Huh.
Experimentally, Neku tries to think as hard as he can: Joshua!
A moment's delay, and then: `Yes, what?` with an accompanying twinge in his head.
"I just was wondering if you were paying attention," he admits.
`No. Should I have been?`
"No," Neku says firmly. "Now go away."
An exasperated sigh and a sense of Joshua putting up his arms in frustration, and the buzzing headache lets up. Good.
His phone vibrates. `I have better things to do with my time than spy on you, you know,` Joshua writes. `Kindly leave me to them.`
`Sometimes I wonder,` Neku replies.
Right, well. Friends might help keep you from making bad decisions, but a good friend'll help you make them properly, and a great friend will help you fix it afterward, so he texts Shiki: `Can I call you?`
No response for a minute or two, then: `Ill call in 2 secs`
Neku fidgets. Flips through his email. Fidgets more. Checks the time. Waiting, waiting - ah, there it goes. He picks up on the third ring. "Hey," he says.
"Sorry," Shiki blurts out, a bit breathless. "I was busy. What's up?"
"You ever know something's an awful idea and then kind of want to do it anyway?" he asks, trying not to sigh.
Shiki laughs darkly. "How do you think I got a job with D+B?" A sigh, and she continues. "Yeah, plenty. What's up?"
He lays out what he can, leaving out the bits about Conducting (that's too big for Neku to even think about right now, and Shiki's even less comfortable with Game stuff than he is) or Joshua worrying about assassinations because seriously, who would want to kill Neku? Other than Joshua, that is. Just sounds like Joshua-brand paranoia, and it's enough of a mess without making Shiki think his friendship with Joshua's more dangerous than it is.
Shiki hums at the appropriate parts, as much encouraging him to continue as to express her disapproval of - probably everything Joshua has ever done in his (un)life, really, with the exception of reviving them. Maybe between the two of them, they'll settle on an accurate opinion on Joshua. Heh. Yeah, right.
"I think that's a bigger mess than I know what to deal with," Shiki says frankly. "I'm … kind of glad you're going to live on campus."
"Me too," Neku says. "Me too."
"Well," she says, "you're probably right that you'd have to move anyway if something goes badly." Not that that makes anything better, he thinks, and he bets she's thinking it too. "So … do you want to do whatever it is?"
"Um …."
"I wouldn't," she adds. "I don't trust either of them not to pull something. Even if they can both be okay."
Wait, both? When has Shiki ever met Joshua? "Yeah," he says, unconvinced. "Joshua's been fairly straight with me for a while, though."
Shiki snickers. Neku goes over that in his head again and joins her. "Straightforward, I meant."
"Yeah, I don't think any of us can do 'straight' if you gave us a GPS," she quips. "Not that I can blame you: boys are pretty cute."
"So's Joshua."
Shiki gets his meaning. "You're pretty cute, too. - Not that I'm hitting on you or anything! I just -"
Neku laughs. "I am cute," he agrees. "You're cute, too. We're all cute."
"We are," Shiki says, and then more confidently: "We are."
"But anyway," Neku says, bringing them back on topic even if it's uncomfortable, "it's kind of … do I do the thing to make Joshua happy, even if it's silly? Or do I not, and just - hope I don't get hit by a car?"
"Don't talk about getting hit by a car," Shiki says, serious. Neku mutters an apology. Yeah, that is kind of insensitive, even if they've all …. "It's your choice," she says, less than thrilled, "but if you don't feel safe telling him no, then don't do it."
"Nah," Neku says, sure about this like he isn't the rest of it. "He's not like that. He'd sulk a lot, but I really don't think he'd do anything."
"If you're sure."
He lets the topic drop and chats with her about how her latest sewing project's going (D+B's going to do some limited edition Dangerous Buffalo plushes, and Shiki's design barely looks like a pig at all) and about her relationship with Eri (still rocky, but Shiki's been teaching her how to sew and Eri's - not good, exactly, but learning how to compensate for her shaky hands, and they're happy) and he's even able to shake her down for plans for their next shopping trip. There's nothing quite like looking for art supplies with another artist, even if you don't share media, and lucky him, but Eri's busy with work that day.
(Eri's a nice girl, and he's glad Shiki's happy with her, both as a partner and a girlfriend, but every time he's stuck hanging out with her, he learns a bit more about how he just cannot stand her. She's loud and perky and friendly and Neku's absolutely certain that she means well and hates him almost as much as he does her. They both know the other isn't a bad person, but wow, is it awkward.)
Eventually he hangs up, feeling better about having finally gotten to talk to Shiki and knowing that whatever happens, Shiki won't be mad at him. She might do her absolute best to take down Joshua if anything goes wrong, but she's not going to blame Neku for any of it.
It's as much as he'd do for her, but still: he feels better having heard it.
Joshua's bullshit isn't his fault, and whatever happens, his other friends will still be his friends, even if he has to leave Shibuya.
But one of the things about leaving Shibuya - even just for university - is that it means he's leaving Shibuya, and he has more belongings than he feels comfortable bringing with him on one rail trip. He … could probably leave some of them at his family's place, at least for a little while, but that seems like it's asking for trouble.
It might actually be worth it to move his keyboard and drum set out before then: at least then he'll know they're safe, even if not having them when he wants them's going to suck. That in mind, he checks with the Bitous if they've got space, and ends up lending them to Beat with permission to fiddle with them so long as he's careful.
Rhyme turns out to be a surprisingly talented drummer; she might not have Neku's confidence or skill, but she can keep time nearly as well as a metronome and she could really get somewhere with that if she keeps with it. Neku tells her as much, and if she's shy about the compliment, she still knows Neku wouldn't say it if he doesn't mean it.
Their parents are thrilled for the excuse to have Neku visit more often, which they can all do without. Neku just wanted to make sure his keyboard would be safe and used while he's still getting his stuff together; he didn't want them to give Beat and Rhyme another guilt trip about dropping piano classes.
The siblings don't blame Neku for it, at least, and Beat's resulting melancholy lifts after Neku privately asks him to demonstrate something he learned in class and then licks Beat's fingers. Beat flushes red; even if Beat's hands have the callouses of an athlete, they're still beautiful, and Neku's more than happy to show his appreciation.
Just not with Rhyme in the room.
A few weeks with his other friends wash away his apprehension, and one Friday afternoon, Neku finally feels comfortable enough to pick up his phone and speed-dial Joshua.
"I'll do it," he says, and that really is that.
