Here's a little author's explanation; I've been really busy but now I've got a ton of more time again so I'll be trying to update once a week as well as my other stories. My beta hasn't gotten back to me lately so I'm just posing chapters now. But anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter, review!


It was kind of weird to walk down the aisle before my mom, just the thought of it sent chills down my spine. Wasn't she suppose to wait until after I got married to do… this? I guess not, though there was nothing very original with my family and friends because we were all kind of different. I was careful as I walked down the aisle, making sure not to stumble or fall over.

Every time my hair moved in a way that Alice hadn't wanted it too, she glared at it as if she could force it back to the right place. I felt several stares on my back as I passed certain people, maybe a few low whispers but nothing I could hear.

As I took my spot at the place next to where my mother would be standing, I shifted on my feet. Subtle enough that no one would notice. I knew I wouldn't cry today, maybe get teary eyed, but never cry. I hadn't cried in a long time and I wasn't going to start today. But then it hit me as I watched everyone stand up as the music began, one day I'd be standing up here with the guy I loved. One day, this wouldn't be my mom… it would be me.

I rolled my shoulders back as I relaxed, she looked beautiful and I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see that Phil agreed with me. Her brown hair was curled and looked longer than it was, seeming passed her shoulders when it was only to her shoulders. Her dress moved with her as though it was a piece of her, another part of her body.

I felt a pang of jealousy as I watched Phil smile at her, its not that I was attracted to him but because of how he was looking at her. I wanted someone to look at me and smile at me the way he was doing with her. When my mother met Phil at the top of the aisle, I swear I cracked a smile which widened into a grin as they walked closer.

Love is something I don't need or want to understand. But I've read about it, seen it and heard it. The only difference is never getting to feel it but maybe I am just a late bloomer. I felt my hands tighten around my flowers as I watched love come across the couple's faces, jealousy. Yes, I had an evil green monster that came out whenever I noticed what love was or the way that love happens so unexpectantly. The person you fall in love with is the person you least expect.

Almost out of habit my eyes darted over to Edward but all feeling washed out of my body as I looked at him. His green eyes were focused on someone that wasn't anywhere near the main part of the wedding, causing my eyes to trail over to whoever he was looking at. My eyes paused on a blond who I vaguely remembered as Tanya, Phil's half cousin or something like that. But I couldn't honestly blame him, I was pretty sure most of the men in the room were staring at her.

Tanya was the definition of beauty, her long blond hair was slightly curled and her skin was perfect from where I was standing which meant she just wore a lot of makeup. But these days who didn't? Other than me, when Alice couldn't get her hands on me.

The wedding went faster than I thought, maybe I was out of it or something. But soon I was up in the bridal room, changing out of my dress into a different one I'd chosen for the reception. The dress reached my knees, it was a dark green color and dipped into a V shape. I left my shoes up there, not needing them for the reception.

I walked down the stairs, stumbling at one point causing me to land flat on my ass. With a groan I stood back up and shook it off. It didn't hurt that bad, at least it wouldn't bruise or be visible to anyone.

Alice danced over to me with a smile. "Come on, Bella. The reception is starting and I think they'd be mainly upset if you didn't go in there." she said with a smile before shrugging and taking my hand.

She led me towards the room and left me outside the door, saying that she needed to go grab something from the car. I shrugged it off and let her go before entering the room. The reception was pretty close to perfect, the ceiling was covered with white Christmas lights that dipped down every so often. I let my eyes trail towards where I knew my mom was, her white dress hanging close to her body as Phil took her hand. They walked out onto the dance floor, his hand seemed to tighten in hers and it made me smile. I watched them as the music began to start in the background…

Desperate for changing, starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started while chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

It only took me a moment to notice Edward wasn't by his family, which caused my curiosity to grow. Well that was until I saw who he was dancing with… Tanya's face was lit by the Christmas lights, a smile placed on her lips as she talked to him. I narrowed my eyes at Edward as I noticed the bored expression on his face.

I knew Tanya wasn't the most interesting person in the world and that she could go on and on about stupid things but Edward had gotten himself into this by checking her out at the wedding. He probably was like any other guy, just wanting to get laid. But I couldn't let myself believe that, he was still the best friend that cried when I left… right? He was still the boy that watched it rain with me.

I hope I wasn't making the wrong choice to trust him again.

Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete

I'll take your invitation, you take all of me now

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

And I don't know what I'm diving into

Just hanging by a moment here with you

I felt someone standing by my side, making me tear my eyes away from Edward and to them. My eyes landed on Alice who was also looking at Edward, a sad expression rested on her face. "He's changed," she whispered and I wondered if she wanted me to even hear what she was saying. "I miss my old brother, the one that left with you."

The way she said that caused me to glance back over at Edward, he looked the same. My eyes trailed down him slowly, making sure he really hadn't changed much. My breath caught in my throat when I looked back up and met his eyes. Damn he'd caught me staring. My heart was pounding slightly as his green eyes searched mine from across the dance floor. It took him a moment but he gave me a smile.

I blushed a little and glanced back over at Alice. "He seems like the old Edward to me," I murmured back to her as I stared at my bare feet. She sighed and shrugged a bit. "But," I added quickly. "The night isn't over yet."

"No," she agreed. "Not yet."

There's nothing else to lose, there's nothing else to find

There's nothing in the world that can change my mind

There is nothing else

There is nothing else

There is nothing else

Desperate for changing, starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started while chasing after you

Alice took my hand and led me towards her family as she chatted, "So Jasper, my boyfriend, came to meet you. He's the one with the blonde hair and blue eyes. He can be shy and quiet but he is really nice and I know you and him will get along just fine!" she said before continuing on, "Anyways, I was wondering if you were ever going to go up and visit Charlie because I'd like to be able to hang out with you more. I mean I know that we talked about this earlier but you know I'm not the type to let it go. "

I chewed on my lower lip as she asked me about that, I really hadn't visited Charlie in a long time… It made me think, my mom had just gotten married and probably would want some alone time with Phil and I probably didn't want to be around that. I figured maybe staying for awhile longer than I had planned before, might benefit for everyone. "Maybe," I muttered softly. "I'll stay with Charlie for the next year or so, give my mom time with Phil."

"Really?!" Alice screeched, if only she knew what quiet was. "Charlie is going to be so happy and you can hang out with me a ton. Then maybe we can see if Edward will change while your around."

"I doubt he will," I said honestly.

Alice shrugged and pulled me into a tight hug. How did she get so strong? I sighed softly, letting my eyes wander toward Edward. "You never know." she said, almost soft enough that I couldn't hear it. "So Esme has redone our house, it looks awesome. I got Emmett's old room since he left for college, so I have the biggest room between Edward and I. They change my room though into Edward's private music room, he has gotten amazing on the piano. You'll just have to hear him. But when you come, you have to let me do a makeover… maybe you can do a fashion show for Esme and Rosalie, Emmett's very serious girlfriend. They met at college and yeah."

I laughed and put my hand over her mouth. "Slow down, we have all night to catch up." I told her with a grin.

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

And I don't know what I'm diving into

Just hanging by a moment here with you

I stopped next to Emmett, who was eat some food. He must've visited the buffet table first and then come over to the dance floor. He looked down at me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me tightly against his side. "So Bella, how's your life?" he asked as he eat something off of his plate, my stomach growled softly.

"Good," I said, unsure about how to answer it. "Its really crazy right now but I'm thinking about staying with Charlie for awhile till my life calms down then I'll probably go and stay with Renee afterwards."

"Oh cool," he said with a smirk. "Now I'll have more chances to make you blush because I've missed doing that." When I blushed, he squeezed my shoulders tightly. "So tell me, you got anyone special in your life?"

My eyes went wide and I glanced around to see if anyone was looking. I met Edward's curious gaze and I instantly knew he'd heard Emmett's question. "No," I muttered under my breath. "I've been on several dates but nothing too serious. Either way, I heard that you were with someone now, Rosalie right?"

"Yes," he said with a smile. "She is amazing, I am in complete love with her." I smiled and bit my lower lip, if only I knew how that felt. I glanced over when the song began to come to a close, realizing I'd miss my mom dancing with Phil and I noticed Edward and Tanya were making their way over here.

Just hanging by a moment

Hanging by a moment

Hanging by a moment

Hanging by a moment here with you

My lips parted slightly as Edward led Tanya over to where I was standing with Emmett, seeing as Alice had disappeared with Jasper. I noticed that Edward was resting his hand on the small of her back instead of holding her hand. Tanya noticed me and placed a surprised but happy expression on her face, it was fake and most likely just for Edward's benefit. "Isabella," she said with a smirk. "I didn't think you knew Edward's family."

I felt Emmett shift next to me, it would seem that she only knew Edward and they must've met today. "Well, you wouldn't know them if I hadn't invited them," I stated, glancing around hoping for a way out of this conversation. "They are old friends of mine."

Tanya caught onto what I meant, I was placing the boundaries that the Cullen family was mine and I knew she wasn't going to agree with that. Sensing the gravity of the moment, Edward placed a hand on Tanya's shoulder before leaning in to whisper something. It made her giggle and made me frown. Edward glanced up at me for a moment before leading Tanya out of the room to do God knows what. It made me feel slightly empty, seeing that he'd chosen her over me, his best friend.

Emmett let out a sigh. "You can see that he isn't the same person you left, can't you?" he asked with a frown formed on his lips.

"I can see that now."

8o8o8o

The reception was winding down enough for everyone to finally get food so I decided to go find Alice, knowing that I need to talk to her. I made my way down the quiet hall wondering where she was, hopefully not naked. When I heard giggling and several other noises that I really didn't need to hear, come from a janitors closet. I hoped it was Alice right off the bat because I did not want to know who else was having sex at my mom's wedding.

I quietly walked up to the door, trying not to trip as I approached. The door was slightly ajar so I could see everything that was going on. My eyes widened as I took in Tanya's long legs wrapped around Edward's waist and Edward kissing her neck. I could see that Tanya was basically naked other than the black underwear that still was on. Edward was shirtless and that was about it, but as I stood there I knew that they wouldn't want me to see this.

As quiet as I could, I turned away from the door and tried to get back toward the reception but being me it just wasn't that easy. My foot caught the corner of a small table nearby the door and I tripped, "Shit." I mumbled under my breath as I took in my torn dress. The table seemed to be unbalanced now and before I could move, it and everything on it clattered to the floor. "Damnit." I shouted, not caring anymore if they heard me.

The moment Edward appeared out of the door, still shirtless and his slacks were undone, followed by Tanya who was trying to keep up her dress, she was clearly frazzled. My eyes darted up, my cheeks darkening as I met Edward's furious gaze but when he realized it was me his eyes softened somewhat.

I quickly stood up and fixed the table, or tried to. It fell back over and I glanced up at Edward to see him still staring at me, I shook my head. "Sorry for interrupting." I muttered as I dashed back down the hall without a second glance.

I got inside to see Alice standing next to Emmett and I gave out a loud sigh. She glanced over to see me and looked at the dress. "Bella," she said, clearly upset by the tear. "What the hell happened to the dress? To you?"

I realized then that I had a few tears streaming down my face and I quickly wiped away the wet feeling on my cheeks. "I fell." was my only answer before Alice pulled me into a hug, causing me to want to cry even more. Alice had gotten my double meaning on that, unlike Emmett who gave us both a confused look.

"You fall all the time, Bella." he said.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Em, this time it was different."

8o8o8o

"Everyone," the DJ announced from the stage where he was play. "This is the final song of the night."

I'd calmed down since I caught Tanya and Edward in the closet, my mind cursed with the images of them together. It made me sick and hurt that he would do this to me but then again he wasn't mine and I couldn't control him. I felt tired as I sat in the chair, watching Alice with Jasper who continued to share kisses.

Jealousy is my new vibe, no one will ever love me like that.

I stood up, wondering if there was any food left but I doubted it. Emmett had gone through the line several times before he was finally full. Now I was standing alone, was it any better than sitting alone?

My hands knotted together as I stood off to the side of the dance floor, my eyes darted around to see that now Edward was alone. But when confused me the most was that he was walking towards me.

He reached me before offering his hand to me. He murmured, "Would you like to dance with me, Jingle Bells?"

I sighed, thinking about saying no. I mean I had just seen him with another woman but he was still my best friend, I knew it would be harsh if I said no. "Fine," I said but paused before taking his hand. "Just promise me you won't let me fall."

He gave me a smile before entwining our fingers. "I promise."

I'm looking at you through the glass

Don't know how much time has past

Oh, God it feels like forever

But no one ever tells you

That forever feels like home

Sitting all alone inside your head

He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me to him as the song started. I felt him lift me up and place my feet on top of his, causing me to wrap my arms around his neck to keep from falling. "I thought I told you not to let me fall." I whispered to him.

He chuckled and shrugged, my arms loosening around his neck. "You wouldn't have fallen but I also didn't want you to complain about not being able to dance." he said, still chuckling to himself. It made me want to hit him but I didn't. I couldn't.

"Thank you," I said, pausing for a moment. "For being up my dance skills."

I felt his breath against my cheek, stirring my hair. "Anytime." he murmured softly before I rested my head against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

How do you feel?

That is the question

But I forget

You don't expect an easy answer

When something like a soul

Becomes initialized

And folded up like paper dolls and little notes

You can't expect the bitter folks

And while your outside looking in

Describing what you see

Remember what your staring at is me

"So are you ever going to come and visit Forks?" he asked as I pulled back to see if he was serious and it was clear he was. In the light his hair seemed to be darker than usual until he moved and I caught a glimpse of the bronze texture in his hair, it made my heart stop.

"I'm thinking about staying with Charlie and giving the newly weds sometime alone," I said with a shrug, not really sure when I'd really be going up there.

"You'll have to call me when you do. We need to hang out." he murmured with a smile.

Cause' I'm looking at you through the glass

Don't know how much time has past

All I know is that it feels like forever

And no one ever tells you

That forever feels like home

Sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real

So much to question

An epidemic of the mannequins

Contaminating everything

And if that came from the heart

It never did, right from the start

Just listen to the noises(Now I'm more, instead of voices)

"So why don't you have a boyfriend, Jingle Bells?" he asked as he spun us making me frown. He seemed to truly be curious about the cause behind my still being single. Though it was no secret that I didn't know the exact reason.

"I don't know… no one my type?" I said, stating it like a question before shaking my head. I looked up at him, meeting his eyes where I could see silent laughter that he was holding in. "What about you?"

He bit his lower lip. "The right person hasn't come around yet I guess." He shrugged off the question, not feeling the need to go into deeper context which made me feel good. I didn't want to hear about his personal life.

Though I was sure, eventually I would.

Before You tell yourself

It's just a different scene

Remember it's just different from what you've seen

I'm looking at you through the glass

Don't know how much time has past

Now all I know is that feels like forever

And no one ever tells you

That forever feels like home

Sitting all alone inside your head

"Edward," I whispered after a moment, my eyes trailing along the room as I met people's eyes, most were curious. "What happened to you?" I needed to know a what point did he suddenly decide that being that type of guy was what he wanted to be.

"I'm still me, I just get women now." he said with an almost cocky tone, causing me to snap out of the haze that I had previously been in when I had been dancing with him.

Edward was a player, a cold player and he knew it. Was this him trying to play me like he had Tanya?

I stumbled out of his grip as if it burned now, even though I knew that my feelings for him hadn't changed… I knew that eventually I was going to get played. That was why he cared if I was single. It was why he even cared at all.

Cause' I'm looking at you through the glass

Don't know how much time has past

Now all I know is that it feels like forever

And no one ever tells you

That forever feels like home

Sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars... the stars... that shine for you

And it's the stars... the stars... that lie to you

I glanced around, seeing that everyone was looking at me and Edward. He took a step trying to close the distance between us, he was trying to calm me down but he was the cause. I stepped back again, stumbling into a table.

A tear streaked down my cheek as I turned towards the door, my hand clutching the door knob. "You aren't the same person I remember." I whispered as I opened the door, now my tears coming harder.

"Bella…" his voice was pleading me to stay, to stop and listen to him but my heart couldn't deal with this.

"You aren't the best friend anymore." I said as I ran out the door and down the hall without a second glance.

I'm looking at you through the glass

Don't know how much time has past

Oh, God it feels like forever

But no one ever tells you

That forever feels like home

Sitting all alone inside your head

Cause' I'm looking at you through the glass

Don't know how much time has past

All I know is that it feels like forever

But no one ever tells you

That forever feels like home

Sitting all alone inside your head

I reached the bottom of the stairs before collapsing against the wall, tears coming. He wasn't the person I'd left years ago. He wasn't the best friend I remembered. He was a player, a hard core player and he didn't even care.

I knew Alice was sitting next to me because she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and began to cry to. Everyone falls for the wrong person once… right? I remember when it used to be Edward whose shoulder I cried on.

And it's the stars... the stars... that shine for you

And it's the stars... the stars... that lie to you

And it's the stars... the stars... that shine for you

And it's the stars... the stars... that lie to you

Oh, when the stars... Oh, when the stars... they lie

8o8o8o

Flashback

I sat down on the empty sidewalk outside my house, my mom and dad were fighting again. A tear slipped down my cheek as I began to cry, why couldn't they just get along and be in love like Edward's parents? Some days I wished I was part of Edward's family.

"Bella?" his soft voice, like silk, called to me. I knew he was coming over to play with me and that was why I was outside.

I glanced up at him, my red eyes taking in his perfect appearance. "Edward…" I whimpered as he sat down, letting me lean my head against his shoulder. I cried softly, knowing he didn't care if I got tears on his shirt.

"They're fighting again huh?" he asked as he rested his forehead against the top of mine. I wanted to be able to talk to him but I couldn't… not now.

I nodded and looked up at him with a hopeful expression, "Let's not talk about it… I just want to be with you."

He laughed softly. "That can be arranged."


Reviewing is love: Writers need love. If you want more Player Edward, Bella Romancing Edward, or Tanya Being Tanya. Review. Chapters come faster with the more reviews I get. (Just saying.)

Song(s) For This Chapter: Hanging By A Moment by Lifehouse & Through the Glass by Stone Sour

Here's a little sneak peek of the upcoming chapter;

"He's mine," she snapped at me as she pushed me against one of the walls. I gasped slightly as my head made contact. "He doesn't even like you."

"He's my best friend," I said, my eyes darting around for help that I knew wasn't going to come not for me. My dress was going to be in rags by the end of the night, I realized as I noticed yet another tear. A tear streaked down my cheek as I rested my head against the wall just waiting. "He was mine first."

"That is true," said a different voice, a familiar one. My eyes darted up to meet a pair of green ones.