Dear Marinette,

I hope you hate me.

I've been sober, now for three whole months. It's one accomplishment that you helped me with. It's funny 'cause the one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I'll never touch again.

In a sick way, I wanna thank you for holding my head up late at night. While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight.

You never doubted my opinions on suicide or hate, and you made my compliment myself when it was way too hard to take.

I drove so f*cking far away that I hope I never crossed your mind. Please do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind.

With a sad heart I said 'bye' to you, and waited.

I'm sorry that I never was a man until I saw your blue eyes cry, and I held your face in my hands.

Smile, just smile and shine, just like it used to be.

I hope when I left, you whispered to yourself 'How could he do this to me?'

I deserve your hate, and I hope you do hate me. In ways hard to swallow.

I hope you hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

-Nathaniel Kurtzburg


AN: Nathaniel ran away after waking from a drunken stupor to find that he had seriously injured his fiancé, Marinette. He had not realized it, but when he got extremely drunk with his bros, he came home and hurt Marinette, either verbally or physically. He had not believed that Mari was getting hurt because of him, because whenever he asked when he was sober, she said she just fell down the stairs (for the bruises) or that she cut herself accidentally in the kitchen that she works at with her best friend Alya. Marinette lied because the usual Nathaniel (when he's not drunk) is a sweet and caring tomato boy. So, when he figured it out, he became disgusted and horrified with himself, choosing to distance himself from Mari and never touch another drop of alcohol. The excerpt above is a draft of a letter that Nathaniel will end up sending to Marinette.