Naruto: Altered History
Chapter 2:
-Sensei-
By Geor-sama


Naruto was one of the few shinobi that was actually a deep sleeper. A very deep sleeper. A fact that had earned him the ire of many of his classmates, who had borne the brunt of Iruka's resulting lectures on the importance of punctuality and consideration to a shinobi. Iruka, being the practical teacher he was, had understood that lectures to the class were not a complete solution, which was how Naruto received his first alarm clock. It was a rather banged up device but it served, every morning, to fill the air of Naruto's apartment with shrill beeps and buzzes.

The question however was if Naruto could actually hear the racket it created while sleeping. Although many of his neighbors would argue to the contrary, the answer was yes, he could indeed hear it, though most of the time he did his best to ignored it.

Rolling over he slapped his hand blindly all over the place before finally silencing the offending noise. Rolling over again he sat up, yawned and tried to force his eyes to open completely, which was really a loosing battle. Still he dragged himself out of bed and ignoring the shower for the moment stumbled his way into the kitchen.

Stubbing his toes against a battered table leg, he cursed while fumbling with his second hand fridge for his milk. He spent another minute or so waiting at his equally battered looking toaster and then sat down, sleepily stumbling his way through breakfast, brushing the odd taste of the milk off as well.

Now relatively awake he climbed back to his feet and stumbled back into his bedroom to change clothes. Was there anything as lovely as orange? Naruto didn't think so; he had gotten it from a second hand store and wore it proudly along with his goggles.

After a seconds consideration he finally removed them and reluctantly set them aside, picking up the forehead protector he had received only two nights ago.A shiver of excitement ran down his spine as he admired the Leaf symbol that adorned his forehead protector. His forehead protector, the realization struck him again. He had graduated.

After years of trying but being ignored and looked down upon he had been acknowledged for something other than making trouble. Of course his graduation method had been a little unconventional, but hell, he was Uzamaki Naruto the master of surprises.

He was an official ninja and now he had to get his butt in gear to reach the academy as ordered. Trying the blue piece of cloth in place, he took one more look in the mirror, thinking he really did look rather dashing. Grinning happily, he turned rushing out of his apartment, wondering what was ahead of him.

He picked up speed quickly, darting through the almost empty streets of his neighborhood but all too soon he hit the shopping district and the crowds there were almost impossible to avoid. Taking a short cut, he darted down a back alley, knowing that he was going to be late unless he could remove some obstacles.

This meant creating a Kage Bunshin and using it to leap upwards onto the roof of a building with an unbelievable racket but still not slowing down.

He couldn't be late.

Desperate for an edge Naruto attempted to gather chakra to the bottom of his feet as he quickly charged the edge of the roof. It worked rather well actually, he managed a super jump...but forgot just how much chakra he had gathered at his feet and he had far to much momentum. This meant when he came down, he did so through the roof of a shop.

A shop that belonged to Matsushima who happened to be working and remembered Naruto. Seconds later Naruto was tearing out of the shop, with pieces of pottery shattering while the heavy set man tried to kill him.

Naruto thankfully escaped death and darted out of the shop, around the last few shoppers and went into a dead sprint towards the academy where someone was already ushering in the last of the new Genin. Pouring on an extra burst of speed, he shouted for the man to wait, which of course he did...which resulted in Naruto slamming into the man and bringing them both to the ground.

Leaving the poor fellow laying there groaning Naruto scrambled to his feet, tearing off down the hallway his feet almost flying from under him as he rounded corners and tried to come to a dead stop at the door leading to his classroom. Thankfully, he caught the door before one of his classmates closed it and panting he calmly walked through the gawking crowd toward his seat in the middle row.

Laughing in satisfaction, he propped his chin on his arms. He was a ninja! An honest, full-blown ninja! After three years, he had finally managed to graduate, which meant he was one more step closer to his dream of becoming Hokage. He could already see it, dressed in orange Hokage robes and adored by everyone in the village. He would leave the hat alone for tradition, if the hat was good enough for the Yondaime then Naruto could accept it.

He was somewhere in mid-fantasy about a certain girl fawning over him while he was served bowl after bowl of free ramen. "Huh? Naruto, what the hell you doing here?"

Sitting up he glared at the boy. "Can't you see the head protector?"

"Hn?" The boy leaned in close. "Sorta dinged and scratched...you didn't dig that out of a garbage can did you?"

"Why you!" Naruto growled, preparing to kill the boy when a new voice piped up.

"Hey will you let me through?"

Naruto glanced in the direction of the voice and felt his heart leap. Orange was his favorite color, there was no doubt, but a close second was pink. Especially the shade of pink found in Haruno Sakura's hair, it just seemed to stand out so perfectly.

A close third was green, the same shade as her eyes. Kami, what he wouldn't give for just one kiss from her...wait...could she...want to sit next to him?

Suddenly her beautiful face transformed into a horrible mockery of her earlier perfection as she jabbed a finger at him her voice rising in pitch. "Naruto! Move your ass! I want to sit next to Sasuke-kun!"

Jerking back from that Naruto turned narrowing his gaze on his row mate. There, sitting quietly with his chin propped on his hands looking as cool as ever, was the 'great' Sasuke. Naruto hated that boy with a passion, always-perfect marks...everyone loved him and respected him.

Sasuke seemed to notice his attention and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"What do you mean what!" Naruto shouted only to have his face forcible planted into the desktop by Sakura.

"Sasuke-kun, can I sit next to you!" Her voice sounded so sickeningly loving. It was almost enough to make even Naruto resent it. Ten minutes later Naruto was scowling straight ahead, Sakura was fawning silently over Sasuke who was staring ahead with a detached coolness.

Naruto definitely hated the boy. He just couldn't get it. What did Sasuke have that he didn't? Snorting in disgust Naruto looked away and smacked his face against the desktop. Whatever team he was assigned to, he just prayed it would not have Sasuke. He would have to seriously consider suicide if he did.

Thankfully, Iruka showed up before Naruto could get too far along such dark trails of thought. The man was still sporting a few bandages and seemed to have a mild limp but he smiled anyway.

"Beginning today all of you are real ninja, but you are still only Genin's. The hard part is just starting." Iruka paused, looking over the interested crowd, while Naruto could only beam brightly and almost vibrate with pent up energy.

He was a ninja, low level or not, he was a Genin and he would quickly rise. He was even preparing to shout something to that effect when Iruka continued his speech.

"Now you will soon be assigned duties by the village, which means that today is the day we give you your three man teams. Each of you will get a Jōnin-sensei and you WILL follow that Sensei's instructions as you complete your assigned duties."

There was much murmuring at this but Naruto tuned it out, forming his own dream team in his mind. It mostly consisted of Sakura and another pretty girl, who would look upon him as a great hero and ignore Sasuke. He started blushing as his little dream advanced to something he was only vaguely aware existed.

"We tried to balance each team's strength, which means some long standing traditions are being set aside for this years teams." Iruka said among several kids shouting in annoyance.

Naruto didn't care. Just as long as he was free from Sasuke, he would be decently happy.

"Team Ten will be Nara Shikamaru, Hyuuga Hinata and Akimichi Choji. Team Seven will be Haruno Sakura, Inuzuka Kiba and Uchiha Sasuke." Here Iruka paused while several girls revolted, Sakura celebrated and Naruto hung his head in despair. How! How could this injustice happen?

"Team Nine Yamabe Anzai, Yamanaka Ino and Aburame Shino. Team-"

He was supposed to have Sakura on his team! What cruel gods had he pissed off this week for this to happen? Several more teams were rattled off as he moped, unable to believe that fate and Iruka could punish him so soundly for no reason. How could they do this to him? He kicks Mizuki's ass and this was his thanks?

It was decided then, since Naruto could not get back at fate, that he would get back at Iruka. As of now, Iruka would have itching powder in his clothes for this injustice.

"...Ok, my final words as your sensei." Iruka cleared his throat, his tone serious. Don't assume how good you are based on your academy scores, nor think you know everything about someone."

Seeing the serious looks reflected back at them he finished. "So congratulations on becoming ninja. This afternoon we'll introduce your Jōnin-Sensei's, until then you're free."

It wasn't until he was the only one left in the room that he realized that he had never heard who his team was...that he had no clue what to do. At this, he jumped to his feet, eyes wide in panic as he grabbed his hair and paced frantically. "NO! Nonononononononononono!"

If he didn't know who his team would be and didn't show up they might decided to put him back into he academy or make him a civilian. As each second passed he felt his anxiety rise another notch, almost to the point that he was about to pull his hair out as he mumbled 'no' continuously.

"Naruto?"

Turning the blond released his hair and stared at the scared Chunin who was staring at him curiously. "Oi! What about me! Huh! Don't I get a team?"

"Oh..." Iruka said, scracthing his nose. "Er...it's not that you don't have a team Naruto it's just that, because of your unique graduation the Hokage has had to plan something very special for you.

"Oh." Naurto deadpanned.

"Now how about that Ramen?"

Twenty seconds later, he was dragging Iruka toward his favorite ramen stand.


Mitarashi Anko was pleased.

This meant she was cheerful and smiling. This meant that every ninja she had met since her return from her last A-ranked mission was terrified of her. Not because Anko appeared evil or mean, but rather because Anko carried an aura about her which told people, intuitively, that Mitarashi Anko should not be smiling.

Ever.

Anko however was smiling and she was cheerful and she swore that nothing could ruin her day. She should have known better than to think that. It was a rule of nature. Upon entering the Hokage Tower she beamed at one of the office workers who paled and hurriedly sped past. This caused Anko to only widen her grin, moving smoothly to the Mission Hall to turn in her report and receive her next mission or pay.

Stepping into the room she stopped short finding Iruka behind a desk, sorting missions. He did not even look up at her entrance which gave Anko a moment to consider the man. They had been in the same academy graduating class, yet where she had went to study under one of the most twisted individuals on the planet he had gotten a normal sensei.

Anko's grin went up another notch.

Iruka suddenly froze, as a deer might when it sensed a predator. He remained perfectly still, not even his brush moving as Anko's footsteps echoed across the empty Mission Hall. It was not until she reached the table he sat at and had leaned a hip against it that he moved.

Anko was pleased to see the way his eyes bugged out and he stammered. It meant her choice in wearing only a fishnet shirt and mini-skirt was still a good idea. "Hiya!" Anko chirped happily, almost lazily dropping her mission report on the table in front him.

"H-hi." Iruka managed, and then coughing looked back down, quickly shifting through the papers. "H-how was the mission?"

"Great!" Anko beamed, putting a hand on her hip. "You wouldn't believe the dango they have in Waterfall. It'd be a nice vacation spot."

"I'm sure it would be." Iruka managed without stammering.

Anko leaned forward slightly, allowing her trench coat to fall open even more for a more nosebleed inducing view. "Aren't you normally teaching?"

"I-I..." Iruka trailed off and then averted his gaze back to the paper on the desk, which had dots of blood from his nosebleed. "Ahem! I've been transferred to assigning missions for the Hokage."

"Ooooh." Anko cooed coyly, walking her fingers across the paper to dip them in his blood and then leaned back, finger coming near her mouth. "Aren't you just moving right on up there?"

"I-I. . .It. . .I. . ." he stammered. Swollowing, Iruka looked up and with a Herculean effort, met her gaze. "I-it's only temporary. Until the next academy session starts." Taking a deep break he continued, "The Hokage would like to see you. I'll make sure that payment is placed in your account."

Smiling sweetly Anko licked her finger clean before winking at him. "Thanks!" Seeing the look on his face, she laughed, completely enjoying the discomfort she caused the man. Turning she sauntered back out of the Mission Hall, where her entire demeanor changed once more. Suddenly she was no longer pleasant or playful she was all business.

The Hokage never wanted to see her unless it was something important. Normally she operated solely on the 'complete mission-get new mission- complete it- get new one' method. Partly because that had been how she had been trained and partly because she couldn't stand most of the villagers with their mixture of disgust and sympathy whenever she was around.

Reaching the spiraling staircase, she literally jumped up the stairs, almost knocking officer workers off as she climbed higher and higher. Anko could not help but wonder if maybe this might be an S-Ranked Mission. Anko hoped so; She wanted one just to keep that bastard Kakashi from rubbing it in her face that she was the only Special Jōnin that had not done one yet.

How anyone could stand that bastard she had no idea, he was just too smug. ANBU Commander or not she would teach him a lesson, somehow, some way. She also probably hated him for the fact that Kakashi had turned her down for a date when she was a Genin, but she wasn't sure.

Reaching the topmost floor of the tower she kicked the door open and landed in a crouch, her trench coat fluttering behind her. Sadly there was no one to appreciate her appearance, or at least no one she could see. It did not take a genius to know that ANBU would be all over her if she tried anything.

Sighing she strode down the short hallway toward the door at the far end. Without hesitating she pushed the door open, talking without looking around, "Yo, old bastard."

The Hokage looked up from his desk, an eyebrow twitching at the remark but smiling anyway. "Ahhh...Anko-chan, how nice to see you again."

"Yea yea." Anko waved dismissively walking across the room to plop down in a chair across from the old man. "So what'd you want to see me about?"

"I have a mission for you. Possibly the most difficult mission of your career." Sandaime said his tone and demenor serious.

Anko sat up straight at that, just barely able to keep from bouncing like a hyper monkey. She knew it! An S-Ranked Mission! AT LAST! "I'll take it!"

"Don't you want to know the exact details-"

"I said I'd take it so I'm taking it!" Anko cut the old man off, her face flush with excitement. "So where do I go? Who's on my team? What's the target?"

Sandaime chuckled as he sifted through the papers on his desk and selected a folder, tossing it at her. Standing he turned and walked to a large window that looked out over the village. "That I believe will explain everything."

"Huh?" Anko said cautiously opening the folder. After a few minutes she jumped to her feet. "What the hell are you playing at!"

"Hmmm?"

"A GENIN! An S-ranked mission needs experienced Jōnin! There's not even a briefing for the Mission!"

"S-Ranked?" Sandaime repeated, turning to look at her curiously. "Oh...next time please let me explain a mission before you accept." Seeing her eye twitching he grinned smugly. "This is not a Ranked mission. It is a teaching assignment."

"WHAT!" Anko shrieked. How could this happen to her? HOW!

"As of now, you are the Jōnin-Sensei of Uzumaki Naruto." Sandaime said, sounding completely amused. "As you have already accepted I am afraid you can not reject it now."

"B-but...but..." Anko stammered staring at the old man while her hopes all came crashing down around her. "B-but..."

"Now, now...why don't you take a look at his record?" Sandaime said soothingly, moving his hand as if to calm her. "I'm sure you'll be back up to A-Ranked Missions in no time."

"...What does that..." Anko trailed off, before she narrowed her eyes, her tone full of venom. "I hate you."

"You are not the first." Sandaime admitted before turning back toward the window.

Anko, hands trembling, turned her gaze back to the folder reading it disgustedly. She hated academy records, they were a joke and more than a few people had ruined their careers by depending on these things. Snorting she looked at the Hokage's back darkly.

"Well?" He asked sounding as if he was musing about something.

"Well, if I was stupid enough to just go by the academy records..." Anko muttered looking at the opened file once more before glancing at the Sandaime's back. "I'd say this Naruto is just barely above a villager."

Sandaime was silent for a moment then chuckled. "True, true...so what do you really think of your student?"

"'My student'?" Anko repeated distastefully dropping the folder. "There's never been an Uzumaki in this village so I don't really know" Anko mused. "I'll probably kill him in his sleep."

"Actually a few people, like Iruka and Kakashi, have mentioned he's a bit like you." Sandaime said, humor lacing his words.

Anko could not help but snort at that, crossing her arms. "So can I ask why the hell I've been singled out? Any damn Jōnin could teach this brat. And why just one, don't you usually put Genin on three man teams? If I have to teach don't you think I am good enough to have a full team?"

Sandaime drew a breath through his pipe as he glanced at the woman who stood fuming before his desk. Looking again out the window of his office he slowly spoke, "Naruto was not a part of this years original graduating class, the circumstances surrounding his graduation are somewhat atypical. As such he was not accounted for when the Genin teams were originally put together. Incorporating him into one of the existing teams would be difficult so it was decided that this arrangement would be more appropriate"

Chuckling to himself as if he had just remembered some old joke the Sandaime continued, "In fact I think Naruto will do much better as an apprentice than in a Genin team. The boy has allot of potential for independent action, just like you did"

At this Sandaime turned to stare at her, his expression serious. "The other nine all have above average Jōnin-Sensei's...This boy, I am expecting extraordinary things from him so I needed an appropriate Sensei."

"Nine?" Anko asked, allowing the complement to roll off her back.

"If you recall, graduating from the academy is not the final step to becoming a Genin. Each Jōnin-Sensei has the right to challenge their new students with a test of their own design before accepting them."

"This year a full twenty-seven academy students passed the academy graduation exam, but of these I only expect nine to be accepted by their assigned Jōnin-Sensei's. If Naruto passes your test that would make ten." Sandaime said puffing on his pipe. "Those that remain will be the best of their year; I think however that your student will be the most highly regarded."

Anko closed her eyes, fighting to keep from blowing up on the man. Murder of a Hokage was frowned on...sometimes justified, but frowned on. Still there was this test. She could probably devise something that would guarantee her freedom from this assignment very soon. Not that that made her any happier.

"Well that's it...he will be looking for you at the academy soon." Sandaime said in obvious dismissal.

"I still don't get it." Anko muttered shaking her head. "Why me..."

"...If I told you then Kakashi-san would have to have you removed." Sandaime said in a low, serious tone.

Anko was silent for a moment then scowling she bowed and prepared to leave the Sadaime's office. She could tell when the Hokage was joking or trying to provoke her and so it was clear that this had not been an idle threat. Which meant whatever was brewing was important, highly dangerous, and likely to be a lot of fun.

Anko turned to leave then suddenly spun back face the Sandaime. "Assuming I accept him, I am not going to be taking any stupid D-ranked missions just because of this brat. I want B-ranked or higher."

"B-ranked is beyond what you can expect of a Genin."

"You said he had a lot of potential. Afraid he is not as good as you might think? Hell, I was doing A-ranked missions when I was his age. If he is really worth my time he should at least be able to handle something B-ranked."

The Sandiame scowled at this for a moment until a mischievous smile spread across his face. "I will agree to only assign you B-ranked or higher missions on the conditions that you agree to train Naruto, full time, until you believe he can handle being on a B-ranked mission."

Anko smiled and nodded at this, "You will also promise me that you will keep him alive through his first two B or higher ranked missions," whatever Anko thought to herself, she would try but accidents happen, "and finally, if you cannot keep your promise then you agree to take a one year teaching assignment at the academy as Iruka's new assistant."

Anko paled as the Sandaime finished explaining his conditions. His smile had widened as he had spoke until there was a broad grin on his face. Clearly he was pleased with himself. A year at the academy, and working under that Chunin boy! Would he really be that cruel?

"Of course you could always just accept a series of D and C-ranked missions like the other Genin teams."

Now if Anko had been anything other than a trained Kunoichi she might have been caught by the dilemma posed by the Hokage. Danger, however, had an effect on her mind similar to the effect of adrenaline on the body. It pushed her thoughts into overdrive, heightening her perception and creativity. Within a moment she had her solution.

Shaking the image of a room full of pre-pubescent morons being instructed by a post-pubescent idiot out of her head. Anko rationalized to herself, it didn't really matter what she agreed to. It was not like the kid had any chance of passing the test that she had just devised for him. This assignment would be over before the end of the day. Smiling devilishly to herself at this thought she responded, "Alright then, I agree to your terms."

"Good." The Sandaime said, "You had better go to the academy now. I am sure your new student is eager to meet his new sensei."

Anko left the room with the devilish grin still on her face as she thought about the test she would give Naruto. Chuckling to herself. It was perfect, it would make that bell-test some of the Jōnin favored look like a walk in the park.

Forget passing, Naruto would be lucky to stay alive.


Naruto peeked out the door, his gaze growing disgruntled. What kind of sensei would be so damn late? Slamming the door with a thud Naruto paced the empty classroom, grumbling and wondering what was going on. Iruka had assured him over ramen that there was indeed a sensei coming for him.

Naruto had been ecstatic he had a sensei. A private sensei even, nobody else could be around to make him look bad or to outperform him. Naruto stopped and rubbed his hands together gloatingly. First, he'd sharpen his skills up and then he'd quickly get so good that he could out shine that bastard Sasuke. Then Sakura would notice him...

Chuckling he lost himself in his daydream until he heard something that sounded like footsteps, which meant he whipped around and rushed to the door yanking it open, only to find the hallway empty.

"Damn it!"

Slamming the door once more he started pacing, wondering what could keep his sensei from being here on time. Maybe they were important and had to do a bunch of things. Naruto nodded, pondering that. Yes, it would fit; the Hokage was usually late whenever he spoke to them during the academy. Suddenly he froze eyes wide...what if...his sensei was the HOKAGE!

He started whooping and jumping around, acting like a complete idiot.

Then he realized that no, the Hokage probably wouldn't be his sensei and he deflated until he crumpled to the floor to stare hatefully at the door. "Why is my sensei so damn late?"

Crossing his arms, he looked away, eyes appearing closed. "All the other teams have gone off with their teachers." Naruto muttered. "Even Iruka-Sensei left..." Maybe whoever they had selected thought he wasn't worth the effort, that they were too good for him.

He wallowed in his funk for a moment until he decided to punish the bastard. Hopping to his feet, he eyed the classroom before spotting an eraser. Grinning he snatched it up and then jumped onto a table beside the doorway, carefully wedging the eraser between the door and the doorframe.

Hopping down he chuckled rubbing his hands together. "Hehehe...this is what they get for being late!" Eyes roaming his mind started designing another step for his prank, smiling a bit like a trickster fox from a story. Suddenly remembering that Iruka kept glue in the bottom drawer of his desk Naruto hurried over and retrieved said item. Grinning evilly, Naruto moved to the spot in front of the doorway and applied the liquid.

Emptying the bottle he grinned wondering what else he could do, this prank needed something extra...something for that added 'oomph'. Crossing his arms as he thought about it, he nodded, snapping his fingers.

Aloud, in a gloating tone he said "Of course!" and turned as if to retrieve whatever item he had thought off.

Unfortunately he had been so caught up in his prank on the teacher that had dared think he was too good to teach Naruto, the blond had not notice someone enter the room and move in behind him. Coming face to face with an adult, who was staring at him oddly, startled Naruto so bad that he stumbled backward and tripped.

Landing butt first in the glue and jarring the door so the eraser hit him on the head.

Naruto quickly tried to get back to his feet, but found that he was stuck -even his hands-. Cursing soundly Naruto looked up at the person that had startled him, surprised to find the black-haired woman laughing at him. He even managed to ignore the fact that she was wearing a long trench coat, fishnet shirt and a barely legal skirt. Still he couldn't help that his cheeks were burning from embarrassment.

"Who the hell are you!" Naruto questioned loudly, to give him a chance to recover some dignity.

The woman let her laughter trail away, though she continued to chuckle. "I'm Mitarashi Anko...you're new sensei."

"I'm going to kill that old man, Hokage or not..." Naruto grumbled unable to believe that Iruka would have any part in selecting his new sensei. If the man had, Iruka would have given him a sensei better suited to Naruto's level.

Anko however grinned.


He was shorter than she expected, looked underfed too. His clothes seemed second hand and his hair...had it ever seen a comb? Those whiskers on his face looked natural, yet he wasn't an Inuzuka. Well she didn't see anything that made her think he was anything special, well maybe his eyes...they were definitely determined enough.

Sighing Anko reclined against the railing behind her, eying the Genin. Who in turn eyed her very intently, almost too intently to be comfortable. What made it worse was the fact that he was NOT ogling her body...he was judging her as a ninja. "Ok, the book said that I should ask about your dreams and all that."

"Book?" Naruto blinked.

"Yea..." Anko grinned, rubbing at the back of her neck. "This is my first time...hehe...Well not THAT first time but you know what I mean."

Naruto looked lost.

"So anyway!" Anko chirped before jabbing a finger at Naruto. "WHAT IS YOUR DREAM?"

"TO SURPASS THE HOKAGE'S!" Naruto shouted, reaching up to touch his forehead protector. "Oh and to invent one minute instant ramen. Cause waiting three minutes is horrible."

"...Dango's better." Anko said dismissively, preparing to move on with her test when Naruto interrupted her.

"Ramen!"

"Dango!" Anko shouted back, for no other reason than to argue.

"Ramen!" Naruto shouted jumping to his feet.

"Dango!"

"How can you resist the mouthwatering, sweet perfection of ramen!" Naruto demanded crossing his arms. "Especially Miso Ramen!"

"There is nothing better than sweet, enticing Dango!" Anko said, defending her food of choice while narrowing her eyes. It was a stupid argument but damn it the boy was pushing her buttons. Didn't he know that she was more than willing to skin him alive and hang him upside down by his toes?

Both continued to glare at each other, bodies tensed as if preparing for an attack should the other insult their food choice again. Finally, Anko mastered herself, remembering that he would be dead soon, and relaxed rolling her eyes. "Feh, Whatever."

"That's right!" Naruto shouted nodding decisively. "You know ramen is better than dango!"

Anko felt her eye twitch, and without meaning to, launched a kunai at the boy which grazed his cheek. The look on his face was priceless and she believed he might have actually wet himself. "That shut you up."

"OI!" Naruto shouted, glaring at her. "Are you completely insane? Throwing kunai around like there toys? That could have killed me!"

"Be thankful my aim's slipping runt." Anko retorted angrily.

"Runt!" Naruto shouted starting to charge toward her. "I'm going to-" whatever he was going to do he never got to say since before he could continue she was behind him, a hand firmly clamped over his mouth and a kunai against his throat.

Obviously talking with Naruto like a rational human being was out of the question. Dropping her former pleasantness, she allowed her more murderous side to emerge -which consisted of an intense killing intent and a sadistic streak in her voice- "First off, I am not a sensei. I did not ask to be a sensei and I don't want to be one. I have spent the last twelve years performing A-Ranked missions. Understand?"

Naruto nodded faintly and Anko pressed a little harder with the kunai.

"Second off, there were twenty-seven graduates. Only a handful will actually remain Genin. The others are sent back to the academy and in your case turned out into the civilian population. We decide who stays and who goes purely on a test that your Sensei decides."

Anko paused smiling. "Unfortunately for you I don't like Genin...and the test I have has an almost zero-survival rate." Letting go she saw the boy move away from her before turning around to glare at her.

"Screw you!" The blond shouted, only to make an 'eep' sound when a kunai passed within inches of his head, taking a lock of his hair.

"Careful little boy, you'll die before you even get to try my mission." Anko grinned, seeing the determined -if angry- look on the boy's face. Oh, this would be fun. "I want you to steal a particular book from a ninja named Hatake Kakashi; he has silver hair and wears a mask. The book is called Icha Icha Paradise and he will probably be reading it if you find him."

"Oi! I know that book! It's a naughty book!" Naruto shouted eyes wide.

"You have three hours, two and half you spent waiting for me to arrive." Anko said ignoring Naruto's outburst. Then crossing her arms narrowed her eyes, "If you do manage to somehow not only survive but bring me said book within the time limit I will accept you as a ninja and my apprentice."

Naruto's gaze grew hard, almost to point of intimidating and then he nodded.

"Dismissed."

Anko was left alone on the roof, watching as the orange blur sped away from her. Absently she wondered if she'd ever see Naruto again...and if so how she would feel about it.


An orange blur shot across the roof tops, searching everywhere while traveling in random directions. He only had twenty minutes left, he had to find this Kakashi get that book and get back. Passing the ramen stand he was sorely tempted to stop and have several bowls, he even went so far as to slow down. Then shaking his head he averted his gaze and sped away, he could not dawdle.

He did promise however that after he stole the book and got it back to Anko, he would eat ramen and plot revenge against the gods for giving him such an insane teacher. First he would desecrate several shrines, just to show that he was not intimidated and then he would...

...Wait, was that the man he was suppose to steal the book from?

Skidding to a halt -uprooting several roofing tiles in the process- he came to a stop and turned to stare at the man. Yes, silver hair, masked face little red naughty book. It was him, strolling down the semi-empty market street as if he did not have a care in the world.

Without thinking Naruto leapt from the roof top and landed in a crouch cutting the man off, grinning confidently. "Hey, hey!" Naruto shouted at the masked Jōnin who continued walking towards him. "I'm talking to you!" Naruto shouted once more not moving, preparing to attack. Yet to his surprise Kakashi somehow managed to appear behind him without even looking up from his book.

Naruto spun around, scowling. "Hey you bastard! Don't just ignore me!" Goaded into attacking Naruto drew and tossed several kunai quickly only to have the man catch each one without looking up from his book.

"Urk!" Naruto took a step back, hand coming up in front of him. Geez, that was just crazy.

Turning Kakashi stared at him oddly, his tone bland. "You're a little bit off aren't you."

"Oi! You're the one that's off here!" Naruto shouted, staring the man who slid the captured kunai into his pocket and continued to read his book.

"So what do you want?" Kakashi asked, turning a page.

"Your book." Naruto answered flatly. "Give it to me or I'll have to beat you up and take it." For a moment Naruto thought that he had managed to scare the man, but Kakashi just continued to read, turning a page every so often before he suddenly looked up as if realizing that Naruto was still there.

"Oh. Well then I suppose you'll have to beat me up and take it." That said Kakashi returned to reading, not paying attention to Naruto anymore.

Why that...lifting his hands he started to perform his Sexy Jutsu but stopped, scowling. No, if he won using that he could not claim to be a real ninja. This was one fight that he wanted to succeed at without resorting to a cheap trick. Nodding he shouted something and charged, pulling an arm back as if to punch. He changed his mind halfway through the attack and instead jumped while spinning.

Normally a kick of some sort would follow this move but instead Naruto threw a hammer fist, counting on the element of surprise. The ANBU Commander casually caught the fist, without even looking up from his book, stopping all the forward momentum.

Naruto was undaunted however and shifted his remaining momentum to carry him through into a round kick which Kakashi simply ducked, still not looking up from his book. Naruto felt his foot touch the ground a second before he pushed off again, a punch aimed at Kakashi's face.

The ANBU Commander, still in a crouching position, somehow managed to disappear and reappear behind a now frozen Naruto -who had his punch fully extended-. "A ninja isn't suppose to get caught from behind idiot." Kakashi said conversationally as Naruto turned, eyes wide.

Seconds before Naruto could even consider what was about to happen Kakashi was moving, thrusting his fingers forward. "Hidden Leaf Ancient Taijutsu Supreme Attack: A Thousand Years of Pain!"

Seconds later Naruto was yelling and launching himself high into the air from the jab to his ass.


Kakashi sighed, standing upright. He could not help but feel a little disappointed, he had expected more from Naruto...yet his Taijutsu had been sub par at best. The boy did not even seem to grasp the concept of stealth and what was with that jumpsuit? He was almost ashamed that Naruto had learned his sensei's technique. Shaking his head Kakashi turned, opening his book once more.

Oh well, it had proved slightly entertaining at least.

Ignoring the looks he received, for either the book or having just shattered a Genin's dream he wasn't sure, he continued on his way giggling. Jiraiya-sama knew how to tell a great story, that was for sure. Turning a corner he stopped long enough to buy lunch, without looking up from his book, and then continued on wondering what else he could do on his lunch break.


That was not supposed to happen! Naruto raged to himself as he quickly approached the rooftop of a building. He tried to twist so that he could brace for the impact, but this only made it worse and his head smashed painfully against the rooftop with a loud cracking sound. It was the last thing Naruto saw before darkness engulfed him.

Naruto felt like he was sinking and rising at the same time. Floating was the best word to describe it. Yes, he was floating in liquid darkness. Then he felt a burning sensation spreading out from his stomach. The heat intensifying and he gasped, feeling as if the darkness was rushing into his lungs.

Who was that strange, blond haired man smiling sadly at him?

The burning engulfed every part of his body and suddenly he was awake and sitting up. Looking around he panted heavily, his head feeling heavy and hurting. Reaching up he touched his head and feeling something slick pulled his hand away to reveal blood. He was bleeding!

Beginning to panic he ran his fingers through his hair, desperately searching for a wound of some kind, but found nothing. He breathed easier at that, now if he could just get rid of this damned headache. Climbing to his feet Naruto turned, remembering that he had been fighting Kakashi, almost expecting the man to have followed him.

Instead he saw an empty street.

Damn it! How long had he been out? Where did Kakashi go? Shaking his head to clear a buzzing sensation he started moving. Nothing else mattered except getting that damn perverted book. Still even as he searched he was not sure how he would manage it, especially after the humiliating way that Kakashi had beaten him earlier.

Unfortunately the blow to his head had not let him forget that. How could he? His ass was still hurting from that damn attack.

Cursing out loud he redoubled his speed, searching for Kakashi while applying his prankster mind to the problem of how to beat the masked man. Maybe if he had an army he could beat that masked ass-poking bastard...WAIT! Naruto did have an army, an army of Kage Bushins!

Now...how could he use them to beat the man up and steal that book? Skidding to a halt he found the man, noticing that he was only a few blocks away from where Anko was waiting for him. He needed to hurry! Then inspiration struck him, prankster inspiration, the gods were with him today.

Still to pull it off he needed something. Maybe with luck. . . Yes! Rummaging through his pouch he pulled out a small scroll. He only had a couple of these left, if only he had paid more attention during Iruka's classes he would not have to waste it now, but there was no time to lament. Lifting his fingers he molded his chakra, grinning wickedly as a dozen Kage Bushin clones appeared around him.

"Right! Everyone understand the plan?"

"Right!" His clones shouted back to him.


The lazy eyed ninja continued to meander down the empty street. He had noticed that a group of youths, suspiciously clothed in identical -bright orange- attire, were rapidly closing in on him. They seemed to be trying to hide their approach as they moved to surround him. Kakashi smiled. Maybe his earlier assessment of the boy had been too harsh.

Surrounding an enemy with superior numbers and then launching a surprise attack was a pretty good strategy. Basic, but a hell of a lot better than a Genin trying to take on a Jonin in a direct fight. There might be some hope for the kid after all.

Then again, he reflected as nearly a dozen Naruto's jumped from hiding into battle stances around him, maybe he was an idiot. "Didn't last time teach you anything?" Kakashi sighed.

Apparently ignoring the comment one of the Naruto's yelled, "Who's the idiot now? Let's see you catch my kunai when they are coming at you from all directions"

In response Kakashi just stared at Naruto, his visible eyebrow raised slightly in surprise, was the brat really that stupid? Had he never heard of crossfire? But he did not have long to ponder this, instead twisting to the side, gracefully dodging a kunai thrown by a Naruto behind him.

A moment later he heard a satisfying pop as the kunai embedded itself into the clone that had been standing in front of him, dispelling it. Kakashi could not help but chuckle to himself. "Hey Baka. I thought you wanted to fight me, not yourself." At this he heard one of the Naruto's growl in anger.

That's probably the real one, clones always have weaker emotional reactions. Turning to that Naruto Kakashi said lazily, "You know you shouldn't reveal yourself like that. It makes it too easy. I know, why don't you go home and try again tomorrow."

As he spoke he could see the anger building up in the boy. One more push should put him over the edge. "Maybe you could get some help on strategy from someone? That Uchiha kid seems bright. I am sure that he could give you some pointers." Kakashi finished with a small laugh.

"You bastard! You're gonna pay!" Screamed the enraged Naruto, hurtling his kunai at Kakashi who was doing his best not to break out laughing. The brat was too easy to read and his throw was horribly off, it would miss him by at least six inches. Best of all, there was another of the boy's Kage Bushins right in the kunai's path.

Naruto might not be much of a ninja but at least he was good for laughs.

Not bothering to move he turned his attention back to his book, giggling at how amusing his lunch break was turning out to be. There was a pop and a puff of smoke, then suddenly the book was ripped out of his hand. Whirling around he saw the Bushin who he had expected to be impaled by the thrown kunai deftly catch another Naruto who had been hurtling through the air clutching his little red book just before.

For a moment Kakashi stood there in shock. The it hit him. It had all been a trick. The Bushin circle, the mock anger, the kunais, that kunai, Naruto, his book. HIS BOOK! He was about to spring at the boy when he was tackled from behind and buried under a pile of orange ninjas.

Throwing them off an instant later and standing up Kakashi received his second shock of the day. The small, previously empty, street was now filled with over a hundred Naruto's, all grinning devilishly at him.

"Give it back to me" Kakashi seethed, a wave of killing intent rolling off of him.

"Oh" Responded one of the Naruto's nonchalantly. "Well then I suppose that you'll have to beat me up and take it."

The veins on Kakashi's forehead bulged. "With pleasure" He said venomously.

Kakashi knew what his mistake had been, it was obvious. He had underestimated the blond Genin, that was the only way such a trick could work. Well he would not underestimate Naruto again, oh no, as a matter of fact Kakashi was going to make sure the boy was stuck in the deepest and dankest cell the ANBU hand.

How dare the boy steal his precious?

Narrowing his eyes Kakashi gave chase. He dealt with the Naruto's clones only to find the original had not been among them and was instead fleeing the area. Noting that Naruto's speed had improved since their brief skirmish earlier and that the boy had a good head start Kakashi drove himself to catch up.

In the distance Naruto dropped to the street, darting around a corner and then, using a series of leaps from successive ledges and window sills, cleared a wall. Kakashi cleared the same wall in a single bound not three minutes later.

Seeing Naruto struggling his way out of clothes line, tossing a pair of frilly underwear off his head and avoiding the barking dog, Kakashi increased his speed. If his book was damaged then death would be a welcomed relief for the bastard child after he was through him. The boy in question glanced back at him only briefly before he bolted once more, knocking an older woman over as he tore out into the street.

Moments later Kakashi burst out onto the street, seeing Naruto slipping and sliding as he made a near impossible turn. Following, Kakashi passed through a pair of wildly swinging doors. Jumping over a bar of soap, Kakashi noted absently that he was in the women's bath full of young and middle-aged women who did not seem to be in the habit of bathing with towels.

Kakashi was tempted to stop, but decided instead -spurred on by appearance of a body guard- that he had other more important matters on his hands.

Namely the murder of Uzumaki Naruto.

Bursting through the still swinging back door he skidded to a halt, looking around frantically for the boy. He was alerted seconds later to the blond's location by the shout of 'Taju Kage Bunshin!' Racing to the end of the alley way he found dozens of Naruto's scattering in every direction, each carrying a little red book.

Raising his own fingers Kakashi glared. "Taju Kage Bunshin: Kakashi Version!" Seconds later each Naruto Clone was being chased by an angry Kakashi Clone.


Taking a bite of her dango, followed a sip of her juice, Anko smiled in satisfaction. Swinging her legs she glanced at her watch then closed her eyes taking another bite. In a few minutes some ANBU lackey or even Kakashi himself would show up and tell her the horrible news.

Yup, any minute now Anko would no longer have a student. Oh, the tragedy.

"Nothing better than dango and juice..." Anko said happily finishing off her dango followed by checking her watch. "Well, maybe screwing that old man out of torturing me..." So, excited about her imminent return to her A-ranked missions, she started to hum a happy tune, until the orange blur came crashing back onto the roof in front of her.

Naruto scrambled to his feet and shoved a little red book into Anko's hands, just as the bell rang on her watch, announcing that he not only survived but also succeeded in his mission. Naruto did look decidedly worse for the wear. Almost as if he was on his last legs.

Eyes narrowing Anko glanced from the blond to the book in her hands, noting the familiar markings of Kakashi. Damn it, she hadn't expected Naruto to actually pass. Anko thumbed the book for a moment then looked back at Naruto. "How did you do it?"

"I kicked his ass." Naruto bragged, stooping over to gasp for air.

"You kicked the ANBU Commander's ass?" Anko questioned, unable to keep amusement out of her voice. She would have to accept that since the boy had not only escaped Kakashi but also completed the mission objective. "Well, congratulations I guess...not many Genin could beat an ANBU Commander."

"So do I pass?" Naruto suddenly said, jerking upright and looking as if he hadn't just fought one of the Leaf's strongest ninjas.

Actually, as Anko studied his face, he looked more like he was about to start celebrating. She was starting to consider ways to murder him when the truth of what Naruto had done struck her. He had beaten Kakashi! Her student had managed to earn a win against one of the most powerful ninja in the village. Sandaime might be right. Hell at this point the brat could probably even handle a B-ranked mission!

No, no, a bit of training first...but...Anko tingled at the thought.

"Well, I guess I'll make it official tomorrow or something..." Anko said finally, struggling to keep from dancing. "Welcome to Team Anko..." Seeing the shock on his face she grinned then leaped to her feet taking off at high speed. She needed to put a training regiment together. Sadly, she had never been a sensei before so she was flying blind...still...
.
.
Naruto remained where he was at for several seconds and then started cheering, performing an odd dance as he celebrated becoming a full-fledged ninja. Yes, yes, yes! First, he was going to find Iruka-sensei and celebrate with several bowls of ramen and then he'd find Sakura-chan and she'd be so impressed with him that...

"Where's my book?" A familiar voice questioned commandingly and Naruto spun around quickly, staring up into the face of Kakashi, who had both eyes exposed as if ready for anything.

"W-what book?" The blond stammered, blue eyes wide.

"The one you stole from me." Kakashi growled threateningly, his red eyes swirling.

"Uhhh...I don't have it..."

Kakashi's eyes narrowed as he started cracking his knuckles and advancing on the trembling Leaf Genin.


The ancient forest belonging to Konoha almost looked magical in the moonlight; the grass and trees glowed and the sky over head sparkled with thousands of distant stars, each unique and bright. It was a beautiful night, filled with the soft sounds of crickets and other nocturnal inhabitants of the forest.

One such inhabitant was a small fox that stalked something in the darkness, stopping now and then to sniff the air before finding the scent anew and running in a different direction. After a few minutes the fox slowed to a trot, so that he was still moving briskly but with even more stealth.

He caught a scent behind him, it smelled rather canine, but he ignored it. The first scent was more intriguing and it was getting stronger. Suddenly slowing he crept through the underbrush emerging into a clearing with three large stumps and a figured tied to the middle one.

Cautiously the fox approached, sniffing as it went, moving in slow even steps toward the apparently unconscious blond male. Stopping it sniffed his foot, then ear twitching, took off back into the forest as if frightened by whatever it had discovered. Amazingly, it had been so silent that one would have to be an ANBU to detect it.

With a low, pain filled, groan Naruto opened his eyes. Staring blearily at the world around him then pausing realized that he could not move an inch. To make matters worse his body was stiff and sore...then his stomach decided to growl and he realized that he was hungry too. Damn it! What happened to him and where was he?

Struggling futilely against the ropes for several minutes he stopped and hung his head. He shouldn't have skipped the review on how to escape this type of thing. Though putting hot sauce in the Hokage's tea had been a pretty good prank.

Still it didn't help him much now, which meant he had only one option left.

"Hey! Someone untie me. Damn it!" Naruto shouted, listening as his voice echoed before he repeated it.