Luck was empathetic that evening.
Cam reached the blockade just outside of Lestallum, easing off the gas to brake for the approaching guard, a semi-automatic rifle cradled in his arms. She expected to be denied entry, that they were booked to capacity, but he asked her why she was here and it'd taken the last reserves of her composure to grit through clenched teeth that her fiance was just killed. That she had nowhere else to go. That she had no one else.
And so after several seconds of uncomfortable silence his shrewd eyes narrowed at her, a toothpick rolling between his teeth as he turned to another guard holding a checklist, made a quick scrawl and nodded for them to open the gate.
Cam parked the truck in the lot above the overlook, pressed her head to the steering wheel and broke into a million pieces. She cried harder than she had over the past couple of years, loud screams and sobs of anger and heartbreak clamping her ribcage against her lungs. Nolan was dead. She was homeless. Three hundred gil to her name crumpled up in her pocket, an old truck running on fumes, her cellphone and the clothes on her back.
She wept for an immeasurable amount of time, exhausting herself to the point her whimpers came out in cracks, her throat raw and sore. People outside had stared as they passed by, but fuck them. When the windows fogged, it was welcome seclusion.
At some point she fell asleep, leaning against the window and letting the tears flow freely against the glass as she drifted off. The nightmares showed no sympathy, barraging her mind with images of her family home buckling under the blow of the daemon's weapon, the lights going out one after the other, and Nolan, trapped behind the rubble…
A tapping on the glass pulled her from the torment. She'd slept all night, or at least a full night's sleep worth; it was hard to tell the days apart, for obvious reasons. Cam blinked and wiped the condensation from the window.
A familiar face peered in and she cranked the window down. "Greyson," she croaked, voice sandpaper against her throat. "What are you doing here?"
The husky man noticed her golden eyes were rimmed-red, puffy and raw. "Could ask you the same thing." Worry accented his words. "When did you get here? Where's Nolan?"
Nolan…The wounds barely clotted and hearing his name ripped them open again. Without hesitation Cam's eyes gathered tears. She couldn't speak, so she shook her head, the corners of her lips quivering.
"Cam, what…" But then realization, as his face softened. "No, no fucking way…"
Greyson paced away with his head down, pinching the bridge of his nose. He circled back to the driver's side window. "I'm so so sorry, Cam. When did-"
"Last night," She replied through her teeth, anything to keep from breaking down again. "House's gone. Iron giant."
"Goddammit." Greyson scratched his patchy beard and seemed to consider something. "What're you gonna do?"
Cam stared out the windshield. "Stay here, I guess. They always need people at the power plant-"
"Come with me to HQ," He suggested, cutting her off by accident. "We always need people, too."
"To replace the ones that were killed, sure."
Greyson seemed offended. "Not necessarily. We can use the help with vendors, or provisions or-"
"I'm staying here, Greyson." It was Cam's turn to cut him off. "I don't have any desire to become a hunter. I know what life comes with that…profession," she avoided Nolan's face in her thoughts, "and it's not for me. Thank you, but no."
"Alright, alright," He held his hands up, "whatever you say. Offer will stand should you take it. I just want to see you in good hands."
They chatted for a little while longer before Greyson took off, a haul of supplies in the back of his pickup.
Cam spent the rest of her gil on a hotel room at the Leville and acquired a job at the power plant without needing an interview, as they were so desperate for people. Two days into it however, and she literally couldn't take the heat. Even with the protective suits her skin boiled, the relief of a cold shower her reward at the end of the day. It paid by the day which was helpful, but it wouldn't be enough for her to find a place to stay, afford rations and pay her phone bill. She'd have to do with out the latter eventually; not like she had anyone to keep in touch with.
After two weeks Cam's income couldn't keep up with the cost of renting a hotel room. She sold the truck, the profit just enough for one more night's stay, and after an awkward conversation with a coworker she moved into their basement for the time being.
Jobs apart from the power plant were hard to come by, as any openings were filled the same day they were posted due to the massive population of the city. Crowds were not Cam's thing and they were everywhere; restaurants packed to capacity and people forced to sit on the curb and eat their meals, lines at shops going around the block and barely any personal space when walking to and from work. It was overwhelming. Unnerving.
Suffocating.
There was a darkness of her own akin to that which plagued the land, seeping into her mind and spreading to further reaches as the days, then weeks, passed by. Color drained from her world, faces became flesh blobs in her field of vision, monotone voices with a distant pan no matter their proximity. It was a struggle each evening to keep Nolan from her thoughts, or at least think of better memories with him other than his final moments.
Cam leaned against the wall of the shower as she'd done every night after work, letting the ice water drench her and extinguish the fire her skin had endured in the heat suit. She wanted more than anything to stroll through the market square hand in hand with him, his blonde shag whipping around his face in the breeze and the innocence of youth in his silver eyes. But they'd converted the space into makeshift housing to try and deal with the influx of refugees so that was out of the question.
For some reason she reminisced back to a particular day at market, where she'd met four young men dressed in black clothing, including the one with the sun on his hip. Cam didn't mention it to Nolan for obvious reasons; after all, how would one react to their significant other pointing out a stranger and announcing they were their soulmate?
That didn't prevent her from thinking about him, though. Despite the years passing, the features of his face kept in crisp detail and whenever she thought of him pins and needles flared from the marking on her hip. Nolan's face was already blurry…
No. It wasn't fair to his memory to be thinking about a stranger like this, soulmate or not. She had to focus on restarting her life, getting her shit together. And after deliberating back and forth with herself, she concluded Lestallum was not the place for her.
She had to do as Nolan did. She needed to make a difference, and poaching herself in a heat suit on the daily was not the way to do it.
After tying her chestnut locks in a damp ponytail, she opened the contact page of her phone and dialed the only listing. After two rings, Greyson picked up. "Hey Cam, how's Lestallum treating you?"
She sighed. "Not well. I was hoping that offer of yours was still on the table."
"You mean you want to come work at HQ?"
A pause as she mulled over her decision a final time. The hunter lifestyle went against her grain; it required strength, cunning, fast reflexes and physical fitness, all things she lacked in varying degrees. To train and groom herself into a hunter would require a level of dedication she'd only previously applied to the family business, but the drive was there. Hidden beneath layers of encroaching depression and dysphoria, but it was there.
"Uhh Cam, you there?"
Greyson's voice brought her back to the present. "Yeah," she replied, "yeah, I want to go to HQ. Could you um, come pick me up anytime soon? I sold the truck."
"Oh." Greyson coughed. "Actually I can pick you up tonight. Is seven thirty okay?"
"Sure, I'll pack my things." Said things consisted of only a few changes of clothes, wallet and toothbrush. She'd be done in seconds. "I'll meet you in the parkade."
"Sounds good, later."
As she ended the call, the sun marking on her hip tingled from beneath her skin, stronger than ever before.
