Emily gulped loudly. James had been right in the ice-cream parlour: this wasn't over. Her life was changing, and it was changing quickly, but it sure as hell wasn't over.
Her team had done wonders for her. When she had assumed they would hate her and exile her, they had done the opposite. They had been understanding, they had been loving; they had been somewhat cruel when they took away her Samuraizer, ripping it right out of her hands, but she knew what they were trying to do, and she was grateful for them and their good intentions.
But there were patches. There were still so many patches and she needed to fix them. For starters, she needed to make amends with Ji. She summoned up the courage to knock on his bedroom door and waited for an answer. Kate was the one to open the door. Emily looked down nervously.
"I… can I…"
Kate knew what she was asking. It was obvious by Emily's hesitation. She looked over her shoulder and saw Ji was shaking his head. It seemed he didn't want to talk to the young Samurai. Kate took it as a yes, though, and invited Emily in while excusing herself from the room. Ji let out a heavy sigh of discontent. Emily knew she wasn't welcomed.
"I can leave," she gestured over her shoulder. Ji sighed again and shook his head.
"You're here now. Say what you want to say."
Emily looked down at her feet, wishing they could take her somewhere else. Now, though, they were frozen on the spot. Ji was a father figure to her, and the fact that she had disappointed him hurt her quite a bit. She wanted to make things right. She had to make things right. The team would never be normal again, but that didn't mean they couldn't come close to it.
"I'm sorry, Mentor. I know I've let you down," she played with her hands nervously, "If it makes a difference, Mike and I were as safe as…"
"You weren't safe enough."
Emily nodded her head, accepting his words as fact. He was right, after all. She was pregnant. Obviously she and Mike hadn't been safe enough.
"You're right. I'm sorry. You're… you were… When you said I was useless…"
Ji had slight look of regret on his face. He had been mad at Emily and Mike the day he called her useless and he hadn't meant it the way it came out. He did mean something closer to it, though, and so hadn't apologized.
"You're not… useless…"
"Yeah, I was," Emily nodded, "I cause problems, I'm a huge mess, and it's not because of the hormones. You were right, I've let everyone down. Now I'm benched, and Serena's taken my place, but we're still a Ranger down. She should be white. I should be yellow. I've had everyone counting on me and I blew it. I'm sorry, Mentor."
She bowed slightly to stress the apology and hoped Ji would accept it. She didn't expect an instant fix but wanted this to be a step in the right direction. Ji sighed.
"We cannot change what has happened. I do not believe in abortion."
"Neither do I," Emily shook her head. She knew that was the closest she would get to hearing "I forgive you." She gulped again and then cleared her throat. She dug her feet firmly into the ground. "I didn't get pregnant by myself, though. I know I'm with child, and I'm the one who can't fight anymore, but Mike did this to me too."
Ji looked to Emily in shock, "And you're here throwing him under the bus? Emily…"
"I'm not throwing him under the bus. I've accepted responsibility for my mistake, and I know Mike has too. I'm not asking you to punish him or give him the cold shoulder like you're giving me, but I'm not alone in this."
"Emily…"
"He's going to be a great dad, a great husband, and he's still going to be an amazing Samurai. We're all going to be great with what we do. I'm not letting this baby ruin us anymore. I'll stand on the sidelines. I'll help from the house. I'll administer first aid and do all I can from here, and the Samurai are going to do all they can out there. We're not done yet."
"We are not," Ji nodded. He gestured to the door, "Are you done?"
Emily looked a little upset when it seemed Ji wouldn't budge, but she nodded her head, gave a polite bow, and then walked out of his room. Ji looked back down at his work and sighed. He held his head in his hands.
"Damn kids," he muttered before getting up and walking out of his room. He saw Kate in the hallway waiting for him. He gave her a look, "Eavesdropping?"
"Niece trumps boyfriend all the time," Kate nodded. "Ji, Emily just apologized to you for being called useless. You know she's not."
"I know," Ji nodded, "That was not what I meant. I meant…"
"Open your eyes, Ji. We're losing Emily, but even a team of six is a hell of a lot more than previous generations, and our Samurai have a lot of help at the house. More than in the past."
"The help is a liability."
"Anyone scared of dying can leave this house whenever they please. No one signed a contract, Ji. We all know the dangers."
"The baby…"
"You let Terran stay."
"Terran…"
"Is even more vulnerable," Kate shook her head, "He's no longer constantly protected by Serena. He's walking around now. He finds trouble everywhere. I just baby proofed the toilet because he almost drowned the other day!"
Kate touched Ji arm, "The kids mean a lot to you. You're scared, aren't you? You're scared you'll fail. That's why you got angry with Emily. The odds someone comes home hurt is higher now."
"I promised their parents I would take care of them," Ji nodded. "They were children when their parents realized they would take part in this war. Emily was just a baby, unaware her destiny would lead to this."
"You're not a protector," Kate shook her head, "I am. I've failed, Ji. You're their mentor. You guide them. No matter what, you are meant to help them. You haven't failed yet."
Ji nodded. Kate wrapped her arms around him. She gave him a kiss on the cheek. Ji returned the hug and held her tight in his arms. He had taken quite a hit, and would forever feel like he had let down all the Samurai by allowing a pregnancy to happen in his house during a war, but Kate was right, he hadn't failed.
