It had been both a confusing and arduous drive home for Chuck. After making his quick escape from Sarah back at the café, he hopped into his car and sped out of the parking lot with a loud screech. His nails dug into the steering wheel as he shifted lanes, not paying attention to how fast he was driving. As the speedometer scaled upward, so did Chuck's temper. His sights were glued to the road ahead and as the blood pumped in his ears, it became increasingly difficult to control his flaring emotions.
He was losing it and he had no idea why.
Of course I know why, he thought angrily. He jerked the wheel with both hands and cut a car off. A horn blared in the distance but he really could care less. It's because of her.
Sarah. She was the only person in the world who could elicit such feeling from him. Even when he trained himself to become a master of his emotions, to empty himself completely so that nothing could hurt him ever again….her reappearance did the exact opposite.
With just a wave and a nervous "Hi, Chuck," Sarah managed to throw him into an emotional tail spin. The emotions, the thoughts and feelings he kept bottled within were now demanding freedom from his once (and perhaps still) jaded heart. He felt like he was going to explode if he could not find a proper outlet in time.
Taking the next exit off the highway, Chuck decided to use all his restraint to not think about her. Thinking of her would only make matters worse. It would remind him of what she had done. It would also pay as a reminder of what he had become to recover from her absence.
"Yorrick, I'm home!"
Chuck entered his house through the front door. He kicked the door shut and locked it, turning around to be greeted with a stampede of paws heading towards him like a torpedo. The large animal barked; happily jumping up and attacking his master with a giant hug. The lovable Chocolate Labrador retriever licked his master's chin.
Chuck's mood had not abated since driving home, but with the welcoming he received by his most trusted companion, it was rather hard to not crack a smile.
Two large paws rested on either shoulder. Chuck patted the dog's head, scratching behind the ears. A tail wagged in appreciation and then dropped back down to all fours.
"I guess you missed me, huh?" He asked with a grin. Slipping off his Converse shoes as well as his jacket, Chuck looked around his house that had been nestled safely in the Los Angeles wilderness. The further it was from his old life, the better.
Yorrick tilted his head to the side; ears now perked up and tail tucked beneath his legs, the dog resumed his barking. Chuck stared with curiosity and then shifted into attentiveness. With the Intersect still in his brain, always keeping him nimble and ready to combat any threat, Chuck walked cautiously down the hall to where he'd eventually find his living room.
Whether it'd be an intruder or visitor, he did not know. The only person who actually came to his house (and was allowed to) was Morgan, who occasionally brought Alex along for his weekly visit. It was technically the middle of nowhere and Chuck did not expect to be bombarded with guests.
He personally liked it that way. The simple routine of going to work and then coming home was enough for him. It kept him busy as well as keeping him safe from further rejection and of course himself.
It was when Chuck crossed through the kitchen, which emptied into a bigger room, that his next breath held the distinct aroma that was hardly feasible to forget. It was the sweet smell of vanilla and lilacs that invaded his senses. It enrapt his mind in such a way that it rendered him into a bout of lightheadedness and nostalgia.
It took an instant for him to discern who it was.
His eyes narrowed down when he walked out of the kitchen, seeing the beautiful blonde figure pacing along his living room, gazing at all the pictures littered on the walls.
Chuck eyed her carefully before finally recovering from her sudden appearance. He sighed and asked rather calmly.
"What are you doing here, Sarah?"
She turned.
"To get through to you," was the reply.
"I told you to leave me alone."
Yorrick padded into the room, bypassing Chuck and making a beeline directly for Sarah. His tail thumped on the ground while he sniffed at her leg. Chuck raised a surprised brow; usually Yorrick was not so kind to the people he did not know.
"Yorrick seems to like you," he noticed.
Sarah bent down to pet the dog's brown coat. She smiled when Yorrick nudged the side of her face and planted a slobbery kiss on her cheek. Chuck's face twisted into an unreadable expression. It was a mix of confusion and uneasiness.
Lifting her head to meet his gaze, she asked. "If you say you're as empty as you think you are, Chuck, then why do you even bother with a dog?"
He looked away from her and crossed his arms defensively. "Dogs are loyal, more so than anybody I've come across." He mumbled. "I found him outside of the Buy More a few years back as a puppy in a card-box he was cold and hungry, thought it'd help me get over things." He had forgotten to add, to get over you.
And then still refusing to look at her, he added. "He's all that I really have left and he knows what it's like to be abandoned…"
Sarah watched the pained expression on Chuck's features expand and she straightened back up to full height. She took a tentative step forward, wishing to reach a hand out for him, but not being able to summon the will or courage.
Instead, she told him. "I'm not leaving. I've made many mistakes in my life and the worst one was leaving you, Chuck. I won't do it again because I know what it's like to be deserted with no one left to turn to. It hurts, I know, believe me." Her voice cracked. "So I'm telling you now: I won't be leaving you until I find my Chuck again, the one I left behind."
Chuck studied her briefly with deep brooding eyes. They were unblinkingly and Sarah felt as though she were being X-rayed by though muddy brown orbs. Neither of them spoke for a long moment. Sarah took a deep breath and held it as if it were her last.
Finally, he spoke. It was an order. "Yorrick go upstairs."
The dog offered one last passing glance Sarah's way before whimpering at his master's tone of voice and then padding to the spiral staircase back at the entrance of the house. Chuck and Sarah were now alone, really for the first time since before she left those years ago.
There were no distractions. There was no reason to hold anything back. It was just the two of them.
Chuck was the first to speak. His arms dropped to his sides and he began by saying, "I didn't reject you, you know."
"What?" Sarah said, perplexed.
"I did not reject you in Prague," he elaborated. Sarah's heart thumped staccatos in her chest. "I always wanted a relationship with you but you encouraged me to become the best and reach my full potential. I was a coward to have never told you this before, and probably should have if I would've known it could have made you stay."
He paused for a reaction. Sarah's eyes went downcast and she was unable to reply. He nodded to himself and then finished lowly.
"If I had known things were going to turn out like this I would've jumped on that train with you and never looked back. But what is done is done…"
She raised her head to him, tears brimming in her blue eyes. All the guilt and shame, all the painful memories she had spent reliving and yearning for had washed over her like a tidal wave.
Sarah felt a single tear roll down her cheek as she spoke, "Chuck. I'm so sorry….for everything. Please forgive me."
It was the first time she had seen Chuck look so conflicted. She could tell that his mind of his was working overdrive. It made him seem exhausted and worn down.
"Stop apologizing, Sarah." His voice was emotionless. "It's too late."
"Chuck, please don't do this!" She begged.
"Leave me alone."
Her sadness and regret had all been for naught. Seeing Chuck so cold and uncaring about her admittance caused for her emotions to evolve from pitying to anger. She would not let him get his way this time. Chuck was going to listen to her. She was going to make things right again.
So she retorted defiantly, "No."
His own anger showed in the flicker of his eyes. "I said leave, right now! You're trespassing in case you don't know; I can only guess how you found my place. The least you could've done was respect my privacy by not coming here at all!"
But she made her away across the living room until she was standing toe-to-toe with him. Her eyes boring into his, she cut him off before he could continue.
"—No, and I'll sleep on the floor if I have to. I am not leaving."
He scowled, ready to continue his tirade. He was going to throw her out of his house himself if he had to. Her time there was spent. It was over. It just hurt too much to bear. She needed to go. She had to go.
He did not want to change his mind.
"Sarah—" he warned. But of course, he was met with something entirely unexpected. She silenced him with a kiss. He went into a state of shock; not knowing how to proceed. He missed the feeling of her lips on his, and yet they felt so foreign like they weren't ever meant to be for him.
Chuck broke the kiss and pulled away. He wiped his mouth and felt a strange sensation spread throughout his body. Unable to define it, caused him to fear it. So he looked at Sarah, and saw her wounded expression and said, "No."
He seriously thought that he had convinced her to give up. Maybe she would go away, perhaps somewhere far, preferably somewhere in Europe again. That would be good. It would be a relief. Then he could go back to work with a clear conscious, do his job perfectly and not worry and not feel so compromised by his emotions.
Just go away, Sarah. I don't love you anymore, I—I can't love you anymore. It's just too hard. Go before it hurts again. Go before—
But Sarah was undeterred, not to mention determined to win him back. She disregarded every form of refusal he threw at her. Whether it'd be a simple, "No," or that tormented look in his once warm brown eyes, she did not care.
Sarah grabbed him by the back of the head and tried it again, only this time with more force, more passion than before. She kissed him hard on the lips, startling him into immobility. He was paralyzed with fright, finding he had no choice but to kiss back because only god knew how long she would be keeping this up.
Sarah could be extremely persistent when she wanted to.
Now was one of those times, but Chuck wouldn't let her win so easily. He snaked his arms around her body and kissed her hungrily until her back smacked into a wall. He would be in control,
"Chuck…" she said in a breathy whisper.
He smirked against her neck. His large hands had pinned her against the wall and there wouldn't be any escape. She was the one who refused to leave; so she would have to deal with the consequences.
When he lifted her into the air and her legs wrapped around his waist on instinct, he carried her over to the couch. She fell onto her back and before she could recover, he was already on her, that same look of lust and hunger in his eyes.
General Beckman always praised Chuck on his ability to make his victims talk. He used various tricks to get them to spill their guts. From psychologically warfare, to physical suffering, he was able to break anyone regardless of who they were.
Looking down at Sarah, who was writhing under his touch, he remembered that she would be his latest victim. He leaned in for another tantalizing kiss and she moaned aloud.
As everyone in the spy business knew: Everyone talks and everyone gets broken down eventually.
His sole purpose for tonight was to break Sarah Walker.
Make her weak and helpless. So she would know how it feels to be out of control. And if she were to survive this torment, and still love him as she claimed still to believe, then he would let it be.
He could not pass up a once in a lifetime chance like this.
This was a new form of torture he had yet to explore.
He silently wondered how loud he could make her scream.
It was early next morning when there came a knock at the front door. Casey was waiting impatiently on the other side, wondering what was taking Bartowski so long. Usually the kid was very punctual and on time with practically everything these days. Just to be sure, he checked under the mat for a spare key, which he found with ease.
He carefully turned the knob and was let in. Yorrick was already at the door, scratching at the frame and then backed away once Casey entered. He looked at the chocolate lab as it sat down on its hind legs and barked.
"Do you know where your pathetic excuse for a master is?" he grunted irritably.
Yorrick's tongue flapped out of his mouth and gave Casey a blank look. Casey massaged the bridge of his nose before proceeding, "Never mind, what was I thinking…talking to a mutt."
The dog surprised the Colonel by springing to its feet and trotting towards the living room. It barked encouragingly. Casey raised an eye brow, clearly impressed.
"Well I'll be damned."
He followed the dog to the living room, stopping when he saw that Chuck was sitting in his recliner with only his boxers on. He leaned back into his chair while reading some gamer magazine.
What shocked the large man the most by far was who laying on the couch adjacent to Chuck. Sarah was snuggled up into the sofa, a white sheet covering her naked body. He felt the urge to roll his eyes and make a snide remark but kept to himself.
He asked, "What's Walker doing here?"
Chuck promptly closed the magazine and tossed it to the coffee table in front of him. Acknowledging Casey's presence, he merely glanced over to the couch where Sarah was sleeping peacefully.
"Oh, she came over last night," he spoke like he was discussing the weather. "She wanted to talk or something…I don't think she had much to say honestly."
Casey's eyes widened but he was there for a reason. It was not to judge Bartowski or his tumultuous relationship with Walker.
He changed the subject quickly. "If you're wondering why I'm here, it's because I have some news."
Chuck looked over his shoulder, to face Casey. "Good or bad? Do I have another job already?"
Casey sighed and anticipated for the younger man's reaction. He braced himself. "We found him, Chuck."
Something clicked in Chuck's brain and he made his voice dangerously low. "You found the Ring agent who ordered my death." He was suddenly seething, barely able to contain himself. "Call Beckman and tell her to get someone to prep my room. I want to go all out this time, I need—the laser cutter and the Hades Elixir."
He removed himself from the recliner and fire burned in the depths of his eyes. They were bright and focused. Casey hadn't seen such energy in him in years. It was both welcoming and frightening to witness.
"I want this bastard to suffer for everything he's done," Chuck continued. Bending over to where his clothes had made a pile on the floor, he grabbed his shirt and tossed it over his head. He added, "Who is this guy anyway? I need to know his name."
Casey saw the look in Chuck's face. He knew once he told the truth that the kid would stop at nothing to extract his revenge. Forget about interrogating, Chuck would kill this man. Casey tended to not disagree on this controversial subject. He always thought that an eye-for-an-eye was a form of justice. But coming from someone who had watched Chuck since the beginning, he had watched him change into a monster. He was barely a human being. Just a mindless, broken animal that thirsted for the next assignment, the next kill.
When Chuck was in the zone, he wouldn't be stopped. That kid lost his mind a long time ago and his next victim should be praying for mercy.
"So, who is it?" He heard Chuck repeat. All of his anger subsided but now it sounded small and slightly confused.
"It is Daniel Shaw, Chuck."
Chuck went completely still. He looked at Casey for confirmation. He could hardly breathe. Everything that he had suffered, everything that he had lost….it was all Shaw's fault. It was so simple, it made perfect sense.
"Are you sure?" He asked, composed.
Casey nodded in affirmation. "Yeah…he was the one who ordered you to be killed, but got Ellie and Devon killed in the process. He was a Ring turncoat all along; probably manipulated Sarah to leave so that he could leave you as a vulnerable target. I wouldn't put it passed him."
Through this explanation, Chuck's mind was reeling. His eyes dilated for a second and when everything came back into focus, his lips curled into a smile. It was a normal, disarming smile. It was something Chuck never did anymore.
This worried Casey.
"Well then," he said in a cheerful tone. "Let's get going then, huh? We have no time to waste."
"What about Sleeping Beauty over there?" Casey inquired.
Chuck looked at Sarah and pursed his lips in contemplation. He then used his eyes to find where Yorrick went. The dog was curled up in a ball below the couch where Sarah slept.
He commanded, "Yorrick, watch Sarah."
The dog cracked its eyes open as a sign of understanding. Chuck picked up his jeans and put them on while hopping towards the door. Casey looked on, perturbed at the sudden eagerness coming from Chuck. He shrugged it off however and the two left the house.
When the door slammed shut, Sarah's eyes snapped open.
She had heard it all.
