Auden was reading a book on the window seat in her living room. A slight breeze came in through the open window and ruffled her hair. The sun was shining and it felt good on her arms and face. It was the day after she had come home from school and she still hadn't remembered a thing. Nothing anyone was saying to her jogged her memory at all. And the worst part was that last night, at dinner, her family, so cautious at first had accidentally slipped into a conversation about something or other; something Auden should have known about if she hadn't had amnesia. They had completely forgotten that Auden had no idea what they were going on about. They only remembered when they asked her a question and she had simply stared at them, wide-eyed, tearful and scared. That had led to her mother apologizing like mad and bursting into tears herself. It was horrible.
She heard a knock on the door, so she put a bookmark in her book and went to answer it. Fred was standing there with a basket. "Hey," he said, smiling.
"You seem to be a lot happier than yesterday," Auden observed with a slight smile. It was true. Fred's smile was bigger and more genuine. His eyes were brighter and he wasn't looking at her sadly anymore. It made her feel good.
"That's because I'm determined to help you remember," he said. "I know this is weird, but I can't stand being without you."
"Technically you aren't without me," Auden joked. "I'm standing in front of you, aren't I?"
"You know what I mean," Fred grinned. "Now come on."
"Where are we going?" she asked.
"On a picnic out in the field behind my house. Now, come on, I'm getting impatient."
"Hold on, I need to get my shoes." She stepped away from the door to get her shoes, but Fred stopped her.
"Forget the shoes. It's summer, it's almost eighty degrees, and the sun is shining. It's perfect weather to go barefoot."
"Okay, then you should take your shoes off too," Auden said, looking down at Fred's sneakers.
"Okay, fine," he answered, kicking them off carelessly. "Now, let's go."
"Socks too," she said, crossing her arms.
Fred quickly took off his socks and threw one at Auden. "Happy now?"
"Gross!" she said, swatting the sock away and laughing.
Fred smiled. "It's good to hear you laugh. It feels like it's been forever since I heard that sound. It is my favorite, you know."
Auden blushed as her stoamch flipped. She cou. ldn't believe how sweet Fred could beClearly, she had been a very lucky girl to have gotten him as a boyfriend. But at the same time, she felt weird about him saying things like that to her. She didn't know of anything she had ever done to get him to like her so much. She had just woken up to find out that he was head over heels for her. She wished she could understand why.
"Come on, let's go," Fred said after a moment. He held out his free hand to her and looked at her with a hopeful half-smile. Auden smiled before slipping her hand into his. She followed him through the grass to the middle of the field. Fred dropped her hand and took a blanket from under his arm, which she helped spread on the ground.
"So, what's in the basket?" she asked, sitting down on the blanket. She stretched her legs out in front of her and smoothed out her sundress before leaning back on her hands.
"Food," Fred answered, sitting down opposite her. He flashed her a grin and she giggled.
"I know that, I haven't forgotten what goes in picnic baskets," she answered. "I meant what kind of food."
"Well, to be specific I made ham sandwiches. Ham is your favorite," Fred said, handing her one.
"Ham and mustard?" she asked, peeling back the bread. "Really?"
"Yeah," Fred laughed. "And my mum gave us cookies, apples, pretzels, and butterbeer."
"That was nice of her," Auden said. She quietly began to eat her sandwich and took the butterbeer Fred was passing her. She stared down at the blanket as she did so, just mulling over all of the thoughts bouncing around in her head.
"What's wrong?" Fred asked, giving her a confused look over the top of his own sandwich.
"I'm sorry," Auden answered quietly.
"Sorry for what?" Fred looked even more confused now. Honestly, could he really not understand what was bothering her and why? She'd have thought it obvious.
"I'm sorry that I can't remember you and I'm sorry that I'm hurting you." It felt as if some of the weight sitting on Auden's chest had lifted. It felt good to finally confess to Fred how truly sorry she was for what she was unintentionally doing.
"It's not your fault that you can't remember anything. I'd rather have that then you dead. Neville saved your life. And you aren't hurting me."
"Yes, I am," Auden argued. "I could tell by the way you were acting yesterday."
Fred put his sandwich down. "Auden, listen. Yeah, this is hard for me, but only because I felt like I lost you. And it's not your fault, trust me. You're my best friend and my girlfriend, and not even you losing your memory is going to change that."
"Are you sure about that? The way you acted yesterday-"
"It's not you," Fred interrupted forcefully. "Not really, anyway. I just..." He sighed. "This is so much better than the alternative of you being dead, but it's not easy. I'm so used to being able to act like your boyfriend, that I forget that right now you're frightened to act like that. I don't like remembering you're afraid of me."
"I'm not afraid of you," Auden insisted. "I just...it makes me uncomfortable acting like a couple when I don't remember you or anything about you. It is scary for me, but I'm not scared of you. And that's why I feel so badly about all of this. This is why I want to remember everything so badly. Besides, you and your family and my parents and brother have been so great through all of this, and I can tell that I have a good relationship with everyone."
"You know that scar above your eyebrow?" Fred asked, resting his elbows on his knees and pointing.
Auden hesitated, surprised by the sudden change of subject. "Yeah, I was wondering how I got that." She lightly touched the spot on her head.
"It was my fault. Sort of, anyway," Fred smirked. "You were five, I was seven. Ron hates spiders and George and I were just showing signs of magic and we realized we could make things fly around the room. We made a rubber spider fly at Ron and he knocked you over so that your head hit the fireplace and it gave you a cut that left that scar."
Auden laughed and let out one of her signature snorts.
Fred grinned. "You used to snort all the time when we were younger, and you still do it now. I like your snorts. Cedric thought they were unattractive."
"So where's Cedric now? He was older than me, right?"
"Cedric, ah, he…" Fred trailed off and began picking the bread on his sandwich apart.
"Tell me, it's okay," Auden said gently.
"He died," Fred said, looking up.
Auden's face fell. "How?"
"In the Triwizard Tournament. You-Know-Who had a spy in disguise as a teacher at Hogwarts. He turned the trophy into a Portkey. Remember when we told you about Harry facing You-Know-Who in the graveyard? That's where the Portkey took them. They took the cup together, and You-Know-Who killed Cedric."
"Oh, that's awful," Auden said. She felt her stomach twist at the news. She wished Cedric hadn't had to die. She couldn't remember him, but she felt a wave of sadness wash over her anyway.
"He, uh, still liked you apparently," Fred said. "Loved you, actually."
"He did? I thought you said it was a mutual break up?"
"We thought so at first, but I guess his father didn't like my family or your family and was trying to get Cedric to talk to Cho Chang, and Cedric also saw that you were falling for me." He stopped when he saw the look on Auden's face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset."
"No, it's okay, I was the one who asked you. I'm glad you told me though." Auden was silent for a moment. They had finished their sandwiches and were now eating the cookies. "What's the story with the tree house?" she asked finally, looking over at the wooden structure.
"Ah, that's for tomorrow night. I have to work tomorrow, and when I get home, I'll bring you up there and tell you all about it."
"Can I come to the shop with you?" Auden asked. "I want to see it...Again, I suppose considering I've already seen it before."
Fred smiled. "Sure. I'd love for you to see it. Again. I'm very proud of it."
"I've heard it's amazing," Auden told him, tilting her head as she looked at Fred.
"You loved it the first time I showed it to you."
"Did I?"
Fred nodded. "You were one of the first to see it."
Auden grinned. "I feel special."
"You are special, Aud," Fred said.
Auden blushed and looked down at the blanket. She sighed. "Truthfully, I actually don't feel all that special. I feel like a burden. I feel like someone who doesn't know anything simply because I can't remember."
"This amnesia thing is really bothering you, isn't it?" Fred whispered, staring at her intently.
"Of course it is, wouldn't it bother you?" Auden looked at him in surprise. She didn't know why he seemed so shocked about her concerns. They seemed perfectly rational to her.
Fred nodded. "It is bothering me."
"I know, but you're not the one who can't remember. I know this is hard for you, but it's hard for me, too," Auden said, biting her lip. "It's frightening not feeling familiar with any of my surroundings and struggling to remember. With every day, every second that I don't get my memory back, I feel even more of an annoyance."
"To who?"
"To you! To everyone!" Auden exclaimed. She looked down again. "Especially to you," she muttered.
Fred sighed. "You're not annoying me."
"You're upset that I can't remember. You just said so. And everyone else is upset, too."
"Because we want you to get better! Like I told you, it's not your fault that you can't remember. You didn't do anything wrong." When Auden didn't look at him, he reached over and cupped her cheek in his hand, gently tilting her head up. She didn't pull away and Fred took that as a good sign. "I'm going to love you no matter what and I know for a fact everyone else feels the same way."
Auden nodded. "I just..." She closed her eyes and sighed as Fred let go of her face and leaned back again. "I don't want you to give up on me but I worry that if this goes on for too long, I'll have to let you so that I'm not being a burden anymore."
"We're never going to give up on you, Aud," Fred whispered fiercely. "And nothing you say will change our minds. You aren't a burden and you aren't annoying us. We want you to get better and we'll do everything it takes."
"You say that now, but-"
"Auden," Fred interrupted. "I know it's hard to get your mind around this right now, but I. Love. You. You're everything to me. I'm not happy unless I know you're happy. And warm and safe and healthy. I'll stop at nothing to make sure you're all of these things. I'd go to the ends of the earth for you. And okay, maybe it does break my heart to know that you can't remember or understand this right now, but that's all the more reason to ensure you get your memories back."
Auden felt her throat constricting and her eyes filling with tears as she stared down at the bottle of butterbeer in her hands. She spun the cold glass bottle around and around as she attempted to get her feelings under control. Fred was such a wonderful guy and she was clearly so lucky to have him. She was so lucky that he had chosen her out of all the other girls he could have gotten. His kindness and generosity only made her want her memories back even more desperately than before.
"Don't cry, Aud," Fred whispered. "You'll get your memories back soon."
"You don't know that."
"I do because, like I said, we're all going to do everything in our power to make sure it happens. And with all of us helping, it's sure to happen quickly."
"You're all so nice to me," Auden said, looking up at him as she chewed on the inside of her cheek.
"What can we say?" Fred smirked. "We love you, Aud."
"If I don't get my memories back...maybe you should find someone else. I mean, I wouldn't want to hold you back or anything."
"Auden, no," Fred whispered. "For one thing, you will get your memories back, and secondly, I can't do that. I actually can't. No one else could ever compare to you."
"You can have anyone you want," Auden said, shaking her head and looking at him.
"I don't care who I can and can't have unless we're talking about you," Fred insisted. "You're who I want. I don't know if you even knew this when you had your memories, although I'd like to think you did, but being with you feels perfect. I know I can say or do almost anything and you won't judge me for it. You've always been that way. You supported me when my only dream was to open a joke shop, even when I had no money to do so. You don't care that I'm impulsive. You tell me when I'm being an idiot, but only because you want me to be a better person. And I want to be a better person when I'm with you. And sure, maybe there have been a few times when we've gotten angry and couldn't stand the sight of each other, but once we've cooled down, we only want to be with each other again immediately."
"Sounds like that could go for you and George as well," Auden pointed out. "It's not just me. And for that matter, it could have been any other girl you felt that way about."
"Aud, why are you being so difficult?" Fred asked. "It's not that way and never will be that way now that I have you. I'm not leaving you. I'm sticking by you until you get your memories back...and actually, for the rest of your life, probably. I don't plan on going anywhere if that's okay with you."
Auden had to smile despite herself. "I think it'll be okay," she said, smiling up at Fred. "As long as you're sure it's okay with you."
"It's perfect," Fred answered, smiling back and putting a hand over hers.
The next day, Fred brought Auden to work with him. As upset as he was that she didn't have any memories and couldn't remember all the hard work he had put into this place, he oddly enjoyed seeing her face light up for the second time. Once inside, he showed her how to use the cash register and even let her ring up a few customers.
"She's a natural, Freddie," George said, as the two of them stood near the back room, watching Auden. She was very friendly and helpful to all of the customers, which was how she was normally anyway, but today she felt completely new to this place. She clearly felt very comfortable already and Fred was glad. He watched as she laughed at something a customer had said and he smiled slightly.
"She's doing a good job, huh?" he finally asked his twin as he leaned back against the wall and crossing his arms.
George nodded. "So how's the whole helping her remember thing going with you?" he asked. Everyone had been spending time with Auden, telling her stories, and trying to get her memories to flood back, even Sirius and Lupin. Luna had been writing Auden weekly letters along with Katie, Harry, Hermione, and even Angelina.
"Nothing yet," Fred sighed. "I'm taking her to the tree house tonight."
"Bring that drawing of hers that you kept. You can tell her about how you kept it when you were pining over her."
"Shut up," Fred said, giving his twin a shove. "But I'll bring it. Thanks."
"Okay, this is the tree house," Fred said, helping Auden the rest of the way up the ladder that night. The crickets were chirping and the stars were out.
"And what is so special about this tree house?" Auden asked, smiling at him as she looked around.
"My dad and your dad tried to build us a tree house without magic, but it was lopsided, so they rebuilt it using magic. It's in the middle of our houses because it was meant for us to share."
"Were we out here a lot as kids?" Auden asked.
"Oh yeah," Fred answered. "I remember George, Bill, Charlie, Ben, Ron and I would come up here and we wouldn't let you or Ginny come inside. Percy joined us sometimes if he wasn't reading a book or doing something boring."
"How nice," Auden said, sticking her tongue out at him.
Fred laughed. "We used to put signs up and everything. 'No Girls Allowed'."
"What could all you boys possibly be talking about?" Auden asked, in a teasing voice. "Girls?"
"Sometimes. I think George and I were nine at the time, so we still thought girls had cooties. Percy was only eleven and thought girls were from another planet. Bill and Charlie were older, though, so they talked all about girls."
"I think my brother has a secret girlfriend," Auden said, sitting down on the floor. Fred did the same and scooted a bit closer. Auden realized immediately that their knees were touching. For the first time since she lost her memory, she felt butterflies in her stomach. It scared her, but only a little bit.
"Ben does? Who is she?" asked Fred, looking excited at the news.
Auden tore her gaze away from her and Fred's knees to look in his eyes. "Her name is Marnie. He's been writing to her ever since he came back from Romania. I asked him to tell me about her after I caught him reading one of her letters and he said he met her when he was working on the dragons. He showed me a picture she sent him. She's pretty. Short brown hair, freckles, tan, and covered in as many burns as Ben, if not more."
"Do you think they'll get married?" Fred asked.
"I don't know. It may be too soon because he hasn't even told my parents yet," she replied. "Hence, why I said secret. But I hope they get married. He seems happy with her." She smiled. "It'll be cool to have a sister-in-law. But, of course, I have to meet her first and make sure she's good enough."
Fred laughed. "Shouldn't Ben be the one approving all of your relationships?"
"It can go both ways," Auden giggled. "Besides, he's approved ours, hasn't he? The least I can do is return the favor." It was the first time she had ever mentioned her and Fred's relationship as if it wasn't foreign to her-as if she were comfortable with it again-and she knew that Fred noticed from the smile that faintly flickered across his face.
"I guess you have a point," Fred said, "but I think you need your memory back before any wedding between your brother and his mystery girlfriend. Actually, getting it back before Bill and Fleur's wedding would be ideal." He turned to the side and stretched out his legs. Auden felt herself hating the fact that their knees were no longer touching.
"I hope so," Auden said. She definitely wanted her memory back for Bill and Fleur's wedding. Dumbledore's funeral had been awkward enough-everyone else had been emotional and she had just sat there feeling indifferent and very guilty about it. She did not want to have to go through that for Bill and Fleur's wedding.
"There's another story about this tree house," Fred said, looking at her, a piece of hair hanging over his eyes. Auden had the sudden urge to push it out of his face, but she decided against it.
"Oh yeah? Tell me," she grinned.
"The summer before fourth year, when I liked you, we had just come back from the Quidditch World Cup and you couldn't sleep so you snuck out here. I saw you from my window and I followed you with hot chocolate."
"Did you burn the house down?" Auden asked jokingly.
Fred laughed. "I didn't, and the funny thing is, I remember you saying 'you didn't even burn the house down' when I brought it to you."
Auden giggled and waited for him to go on.
"Anyway," Fred continued, "you showed me a drawing that you had drawn when you were about seven, I think. It was me, you, George, and Ron, and it said 'friends forever' at the top."
"Is it still up here?" Auden asked, looking around.
"Well, it wasn't for a while because after we woke up the next morning, I pocketed it and I've kept it in my room ever since, but tonight," he reached into his pocket, "I brought it with me."
"You did not! Let me see!" Auden exclaimed, taking the paper. She laughed. "Oh, wow, I was a terrible artist."
"You were a little kid," Fred told her, laughing as well.
Auden smiled. "It's weird looking at this, though. I mean, I drew it, but right now I'm looking at it for the first time. It's…surreal."
Fred took the paper back and returned it to his pocket. While he was doing so, Auden stood up and made her way out to the treehouse porch. "It's so nice out tonight," she said when Fred joined her.
"It is," he agreed. "You know, I just remembered a time last summer when we were out here, standing on this porch, in the very same spot we're in now. I gave you my Quidditch sweatshirt."
"Ah, so that's why I have one with your name and one with my name," Auden said.
"Yeah, that's why," Fred smiled. "But you were out here because you were worried about the war. I made you laugh."
"I don't find that surprising," Auden answered and she saw Fred smile in the dark.
"As I've said, it is my favorite sound," he answered. "Merlin, I could live off of it. All laughter, really, but yours in particular."
Auden met his eyes and felt herself blush. "Stars are so beautiful to look at, aren't they?" she asked suddenly, turning away and looking up at the sky.
"Yeah, they are. I like looking for constellations I learned in Astronomy, surprising as it sounds."
"Why is that surprising?" Auden asked.
"Oh, sorry, I forgot, but George and I…we tried in school, but not as hard as we could've. I mean to say that we could've done better, but we could've done worse. Anyway, most people probably just assume we're the pranksters, the goof-off's, the school drop outs."
"I'm sure nobody thinks that," Auden said. "You have a successful joke shop. You're raking in Galleons. You're smart, and I bet everyone knows it." She saw Fred blush.
"Anyway," Fred said, "I should walk you back to your house."
Auden was struck with a sudden idea. "Can we sleep out here? You know, like before. It might help me remember."
"You really want to? Before you were almost scared of me."
"You're growing on me," Auden teased.
"Okay, wait here. I'll go get blankets. Want some hot chocolate?"
"If you think you can do it without burning the house down," Auden answered, going back inside the tree house and sliding down the wall to the floor.
"Okay." Fred started down the ladder. "You're sure about this?" he asked when only his head was showing.
"Positive. Like I said, it might help me remember."
"Okay," Fred said happily as he disappeared.
Auden sighed. Fred was so happy to be doing this. She did think that sleeping out here might help her remember, but really she just wanted to be with Fred, because she had just realized that, slowly, she was beginning to fall for him all over again.
A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews and to the people who added any of my stories to their story alert/favorites and/or added me to their favorite authors. :)
The title of this chapter is the song Fallin' for You by Colbie Caillat.
