You are visiting Ella's Blog: Summer Vacation with the Flock. Welcome!
Hits: 69.
Date: Sometime during summer vacation.
Day Five: Friday 9:56 PM
Wow, so many hits! I thank you with my mom's cookies.
Speaking of cookies….
I'm me again.
After some, ahem, trouble* I got freed by Max and we watched The Dark Knight. RIP Heath Ledger.
*Nudge tied me to a chair and Iggy stole my hair band, the one with the bow on. Then I was held hostage so Max would give Iggy and Gaz their bombs back. All of this I don't fully remember…
Then I read some fanfic. Can I say Ew? I mean, come on, guys, there must be some GOOD stories out there somewhere…right? Please? Most of the ones I read are just…
*Shudders*
Moving on. What happened today?
Ah yes.
While the boys were doing whatever and mom was doing mom stuff in the kitchen, Nudge discovered my makeup draw, and promptly dragged Max, Angel and I up to my room. Apparently while she'd been at the night school hacienda, she'd learnt how to apply eyeshadow properly. Max said she'd never have let Nudge go if she'd known all she would learn was how to become a (and here Max trailed off, leaving me to believe she was thinking something less than polite).
Anyway, Nudge said it was high time Maximum Ride got a makeover, and tied Max down on my bed so she couldn't peg it out the window. I actually think Max could have gotten away if she'd really wanted to, but what the hey, perhaps the girl does have a feminine side. Nudge then informed Angel and I that as it was unhygienic to share makeup, Max would have to have some of her own, and whipped a mascara wand, blusher, tweezers (?) and eyeshadow set from her backpack. Max demanded to know where she had gotten it all from and Angel said she'd bought it from Wal-Mart. Max then decided she didn't want to hear the rest, she was on vacation. Nudge pointed out that that was the exact reason to give Max a makeover in the first place, and Max shut up for fear of saying anything that would get her into more cosmetic related trouble. We caused havoc.
Three wet bath towels and a hairdryer later, Max looked a different bird kid. Nudge had also produced money (?) from one of her many pockets and announced we were going shopping. Max's reaction was:
HELL NO!
Mine was:
HELL YES!
And so was everyone else's.
So we walked to the mall and spent the next five hours having a thoroughly good time. Here is my 'script' for the entire day.
10:00 AM: We hijack Max and toss her in the bath with a razor, shampoo, conditioner, soap, a back scrubber and a rubber ducky.
10:15 AM: Her hair is combed, blow dried and pinned up. While she's in a towel.
10:25 AM: She then has her eyebrows, and (here I quote) "My NON-EXISTENT moustache, thank you very much!" slaughtered by Nudge and I. Still in a towel. She hated that bit.
10:40 AM: She's fully dressed again and Nudge displays her cash. We go to the mall.
11:00 AM: We stop for a snack.
11:30 AM: We find the clothing department and get straight to business.
12:30 PM: We have a stack of assorted outfits, shoes, underwear and jackets, some of
which Max actually chose (although she kind of had to do her own underwear shopping, she wouldn't let us know her bra size). Max is pulled into the changing rooms.
1:30 PM: Max has chosen her clean new garments. They include: turquoise Converse, a real-leather jacket, a blue denim waistcoat, five checked shirts, sixteen million (ish) camisoles, fifteen million tank tops (there is a difference), nineteen pairs of new socks, four print t-shirts, a stripy hoodie, two pairs of cropped shorts, three pairs of various styles of jeans, actual pajamas (Max 'fessed up to sleeping in one of Fang's old shirts or her clothes most of the time. Tsk), a tankini and half the store's underwear collection. I won't go into details, but now her undies are what're called 'pretty'. And the best thing, according to Max? None of it was pink. It was all shades of red, black, blue, green and purple, with the old favourites grey and brown. Yay!
1:40 PM: The clothes are purchased along with a new iPod Shuffle because Angel declared Max needed one. It's silver and cute.
1:45 PM: We buy lunch.
2:00 PM: Max gets chatted up by the restaurant cleaner.
2:01 PM: Max tells the guy where to shove his Windex.
2:02 PM: Angel repeats it.
2:02.5 PM: The cleaner listens.
2:06 PM: He's carted out the door on a stretcher, moaning.
2:07 PM: We get asked to leave.
2:09 PM: We leave.
2:30 PM: We arrive home and tell the boys, who had been helping Mom in the kitchen after setting fire to the curtains, what happened. Fang actually laughs while Total mumbles something about Akila and sneaks off to see his beloved, who has been busy sleeping in the garden these past few days. I thought Malamutes preferred the cold? Total's been very quiet recently, I seriously hope he hasn't got flu or anything…
2:39 PM: We eat some cookies. I really need to do exercise.
3:00 PM: Angel gets a scary look on her face.
3:02 PM: She whispers in Max's ear.
3:03 PM: She whispers in Fang's ear. They both go quiet. Although Fang wasn't saying much anyway.
3:04 PM: Everyone goes quiet. Max blushes. Hmm… I ask what's going on. Max chokes.
3:05 PM: Angel does that freaky and quite clever thought-sending thing she does and everyone bursts out laughing. Angel, Nudge and I pull Max upstairs, while she turns (almost literally) into stone. She actually looks scared. Not something I ever thought I'd see, to be honest.
3:06 PM: I stick my Rhianna CD on and delve through the bags of clothes we bought. Max stays Stone Girl, refusing to speak. She looks faintly sick.
3:10 PM: Nudge, Angel and I realise that we really need Max to decide her own clothes, and lock her and her bags in the bathroom.
3:25 PM: We yell at Max to hurry up, dang it, we don't have all day.
3:35 PM: Max emerges wearing black skinny jeans with a rust-red (looks better than it sounds, peeps) checked shirt with a camisole that matches those Converse and a serious scowl. Nudge pounces on her, brandishing the ever-hated mascara wand and eyeliner. I attack with a hairbrush.
3:45 PM: Max is pulled downstairs, shoved out the door with her jacket and told to not come back for at least two hours before the front door is slammed in her face, which is still scowling, in case you were wondering.
End script.
So it's not the entire day, but it's the most fun part of it by far. And I can't be bothered to type out any more. In a nutshell, Fang was chucked out just after Max was, and they still haven't returned. So the rest of us have played many a game of poker, tag and Who Can Catch Total with One Hand Tied behind Their Back First. Good times, good times.
Mom says she's getting "slightly worried." about Max and Fang, but we figure it's their first formal date, they're going to be a while. So, some Fun Facts:
It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is 'shake' and the 46th word from the last word is 'spear'.
The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B.C.
The three best-known western names in China: Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, and Elvis Presley.
In Cleveland, Ohio, it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
Des Moines has the highest per capita Jello consumption in the U.S.
Great Britain was the first county to issue postage stamps. Hence, the postage stamps of Britain are the only stamps in the world not to bear the name of the country of origin.
And I leave you with the news that Maximum Ride has not yet returned from her date with Fang, and it is suspected they have flown to Vegas.
Comments
I'mNotToto: Dang, and I wanted to see Max in a wedding dress…
Lisssssaaaaa: Oh, I want that date so much…
NuDgE: Told you she'd come to the mall. Aw, Vegas, how romantic!
Dr.M: NO IT IS NOT ROMANTIC IF THOSE TWO HAVE ELOPED THERE'S GOING TO BE HELL TO PAY
Fang: Yo, guys… Max and I would like you to know that Vegas is excellent. And, er, that we aren't married. Yet.
