Chapter 3
Sara stirred as she heard soft laughter in the distance, including the sound of her daughter's irrepressible - and resounding - giggles.
'Honey…' she heard Neal whisper as the bed dipped. 'Peter and El are here.'
'Mmmph' Sara mumbled as her eyes flew open to find Neal's handsome face, smiling down at her as he sat perched on the edge of the bed.
His eyes sparkled as they always did and she matched his brilliant smile with one of her own. She wasn't quite certain how she'd managed to win the lottery in the husband department - but she sure as hell had and she was thankful for that fact every single day.
'Hey' she murmured, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him down for a nice leisurely kiss.
'Mmmmm' Neal moaned as he reluctantly pulled away. 'As much as I would love to crawl in there with you, I think Peter and Elizabeth might notice if we don't come back downstairs.'
Sara grinned, suddenly aware that she'd fallen asleep without anything on her head, just that horribly unbecoming head of hair she despised and yet, Neal was gazing down at her adoringly, as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She touched her head self-consciously and sat up, getting her bearings.
Almost as if reading her mind, Neal ran his hand lovingly over the bristly curls, giving them a gentle tug.
'It's really growing in' he commented, watching her smile fade. 'Why don't you forget about the wig for tonight, I know how itchy it gets. Just go natural…'
Sara frowned at his suggestion. 'I can't let people see me like this' she murmured as she slid past him, making her way to the makeup table tucked away in the corner of the room and taking a seat in front of the mirror.
She stared back at her reflection and swallowed; she just wanted her life back and that included the way she used to look a few short months before - including her beloved soft, reddish curls. More than anything, she hoped the texture of her hair would return to normal before long; everybody said it would eventually but it couldn't come fast enough for her. She surveyed her pale looking skin; even she had to admit she needed to put on a few pounds. Suddenly, Neal was standing behind her, hands on her shoulders and lips on her neck.
'Honey, you're beautiful' he murmured with fervor. 'Hair is just… hair. It doesn't define who you are.'
'That's easy for you to say' she responded as she grabbed for the reddish wig which was perched on the nearby stand. She proceeded to place it on her head and adjust it just like she'd done dozens of times over the past few months.
'What's that I smell?' she asked, moving away from the still painful subject.
Neal gave up; no matter how many times he tried, it seemed that Sara Ellis' stubborn pride always got in the way. Not for the first time, he wished she could see what he saw every time he looked at her: a beautiful, incredibly strong woman, the woman he'd fallen in love with and an amazing mother to their gorgeous daughter.
'Pasta' he answered, giving in to her poorly disguised attempt at deflection. 'Alfredo with shrimp… and caesar salad.'
'Mmm' she murmured as she touched up her lipstick and turned to face her husband.
He'd begun to walk away, heading out their bedroom door and Sara stood, grabbing for his arm and forcing him to look back at her.
'Caffrey… I do appreciate it, you know' she said mysteriously as he frowned.
'You still don't get it, do you Repo?' he said sadly, pulling her in to him and hugging her tightly. 'You'll always be the most beautiful girl in the world to me, no matter what. Nothing's changed and nothing ever will…'
Her eyes became watery and she gave him a weak smile as Hope's loud laughter echoed through the house.
'Come on' Neal said as he broke the embrace and took her hand. 'Peter and El are going to wonder what we're up to.'
WCWCWC
'That was amazing, as usual' Elizabeth said as she handed her empty plate to Neal.
'Glad you liked it' Neal answered, his eyes moving to give Peter a knowing look. 'I hope you two saved some room for dessert.'
This time, there was a brief exchange of glances between the two women as Hope shouted gleefully from her booster seat at the table. 'Cake!'
'That's right, sweet pea' Neal said, as casually as he could muster. 'Hope and I made cake for dessert.'
'That sounds great!' Peter enthused as he mentally rehearsed what they needed to tell the women about their upcoming trip to Michigan.
Neal returned with the chocolate cheesecake and deposited the plate in the middle of the table, just out of his daughter's reach. Past experience had taught him that she wouldn't hesitate to stick her hand right in the middle of a freshly baked cake or pie and help herself to a fistful. Right on cue, Hope reached out and coming up short, she whined, looking up at Peter who was seated to her left.
'Cake!' she repeated.
'Just a minute, honey. Uncle Peter will cut you a piece' he said as he reached for a plate.
'Neal, is that chocolate cheesecake?' El said loudly, heavy accent on the word 'chocolate'.
The women laughed heartily as Neal and Peter stared at each other, totally clueless.
'Do you want to let us in on the joke?' Neal asked as he began carving up pieces of cake for everyone.
'No joke…' Sara said with a playful smile.
'It's just that… well, you guys are so predictable' Elizabeth added as she gratefully took the plate Neal was handing her.
'You've obviously got something on your minds' Sara added, placing a small piece of the delicious dessert in front of her daughter and handing her a spoon.
Peter let out a loud sigh and Neal chuckled to himself; either they'd grown terrible at keeping secrets from their wives or the women had finally figured out what he'd always thought was a well disguised tell on his part.
'Every time you have something to tell us that you think we're not going to like, you try to butter us up with chocolate' El said as she took a bite and hummed.
Neal rolled his eyes in frustration. 'Like we never do anything nice for you' he attempted, knowing full well they were busted.
The women stared back in silence, waiting for a straight answer
'Fine…' Peter said, caving in to the uneasy silence. 'The fact is… Neal and I have been summoned to appear in court regarding an old case of ours.'
The women continued to wait; there had to be more to the story than that.
'… and it's out of town' Neal blurted out, relieved to finally have everything out in the open.
'Where?' Sara asked, lines forming on her forehead.
Neal's hand was suddenly on hers in an attempt to reassure her. 'Lansing… Michigan' he confessed as she gave him a forced smile.
El looked over at Peter. 'So when is this happening? And… how long do you think you'll be gone?'
'See, that's the thing, honey. We're not sure. The trial starts next week and the DA's office needs to brief us on the case first. Then, we kind of have to wait around until we're called in to testify. Could be a couple of days… maybe even a week' Peter said.
'And…' Neal added with a sharp look of rebuke towards his partner 'We have to drive up so that'll take an extra couple of days.'
Sara recovered quickly; she didn't want Neal worrying about her when he had no choice in the matter. 'It's okay, Neal. We'll manage, right El?'
Elizabeth picked up on Sara's false bravado; normally, the insurance investigator could deal with anything life threw her way but El knew all too well that Sara wasn't functioning on all cylinders at the moment.
'Sure!' she added stoically.
Peter being out of town was a mere inconvenience for her, nothing more. It was just annoying because the house was all too quiet with him away and she always had trouble sleeping alone in their bed. But Sara had an awful lot on her plate at the moment and she would no doubt find it difficult to fulfill her work obligations and take care of Hope at the same time. Elizabeth glanced at Neal, seeing the worry in his eyes.
'We'll look out for each other, won't we?' she said to Sara who gave a brave smile in response.
'Of course we will' Sara answered as Neal looked on in admiration.
Sara Ellis was no wuss; she'd never in her life needed a man to take care of her but this was not business as usual and her physical limitations, albeit temporary, were all too real. She couldn't get through the day without several short naps, including those he knew she was sneaking in at lunchtime, behind the closed doors of her office.
He shrugged, unsure what else he could say; getting Ryan Wilkes back behind bars was a priority and he had to do his part to ensure that the scumbag didn't walk away scot free.
Sara's hand was suddenly on his cheek and he turned to see the look of determination in her eyes.
'I've got this Caffrey' she said, steely eyed. 'Don't worry!'
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Returning to the cancer clinic at Sloan Kettering was always a bit of a downer. It was a constant reminder that, although the worst was behind them, the end of Sara's cancer adventure had yet to be written and that she would need follow up appointments for years to come.
On Friday morning, Neal and Sara sat, surrounded by dozens of other patients on the magical mystery ride known as cancer treatment as they waited for their appointment with Dr. Franklin. There wasn't much to say; they'd been trying to reassure each other for days even though neither one of them was privy to the results of her latest pelvic CT scan, the gold standard for monitoring what was going on inside Sara's ravaged body. So far, she'd had two scans, both normal and had been declared 'cancer free' - the best words either one of them had ever heard.
And yet, the roller coaster ride continued.
Within moments, they were seated in a small examination room, waiting for Sara's oncologist to make an appearance - which he did, right on time.
'Sara, Neal!' Dr. Franklin called out in greeting with his all too familiar booming voice. 'Nice to see you again.'
The couple nodded, a look of apprehension visible on their faces. On both previous follow-up visits, he had immediately put them out of their misery by giving them the good news the moment he'd sat down across from them. This time, he took a seat and glanced down at the test results, a look of concern visible on his face.
'I've got the results of your latest scan here… February 22nd…' he announced as his eyes remained glued to the file in his hands.
His eyes came up to meet theirs as he continued. 'Your remaining ovary continues to looks good, Sara - nice and clean' he reported hesitantly. 'However, I notice that a couple of your lymph nodes are swollen.'
Neal's face grew serious and he squeezed Sara's hand, waiting for more of an explanation.
'Remember, we talked about the role of lymph nodes in fighting infection. When you get any type of infection, your lymph glands may become enlarged as they fight whatever it is that's trying to invade your body. They're kind of like little soldiers that keep infection from taking root and they swell up temporarily to help ward off an imminent attack.'
'Does that mean that the cancer's back?' Sara asked spontaneously.
'No, no. Not necessarily. Your body could be fighting a cold or any other mild attack on your immune system but…'
Neal leaned forward, almost springing out of his seat. 'But if the cancer were to come back… would this be one of the first signs?' he asked, reading between the lines.
'If Sara's cancer were to recur, we would first see her body fighting to keep it at bay' Dr. Franklin began 'but the fact that some of your lymph nodes are enlarged does not necessarily mean your cancer has returned.'
'But how do we know?' Sara asked.
'We don't… not for certain. Because of your history, we need to monitor the situation very closely. But it could be nothing and if that's the case, the lymph glands will do their job and then simply return to normal size without any intervention on our part…' he explained.
'So we just wait?' Neal asked, his voice a little harsher than he'd meant it to be.
'Look, I have a colleague who specializes in the role of the immune system on cancer recurrence' Dr. Franklin said. 'My suggestion is that we get his opinion on your situation.'
'What do you mean, his opinion?' Sara asked. 'I thought you said there was nothing we could do.'
'No, I said that doing nothing is an option' he corrected, his voice calm.
'What would be another option?' Neal asked.
'Well, if you wanted to play it safe, we could put Sara through another course of chemotherapy' he began as he watched their faces grow serious. 'But I'm not at all convinced we need to go that route… not yet, anyway.'
Sara turned to look at Neal; this was not the news they'd been hoping for.
'If you need one hundred percent assurance that you're safe, we could do another round but I believe it's premature to go that route… at least until you see Dr. Patel, the immunologist I mentioned.'
Neal tried to read Sara's mind as he stared into her worried eyes.
Dr. Franklin continued. 'Why don't you give it some thought' he suggested. 'I'll set something up with Dr. Patel's office as soon as possible… I think that should be your first step.'
He could see Sara's mind was spinning in a hundred different directions.
'I want to remind you that there are a dozen other possible reasons why you have swollen lymph glands' he said as he looked from Neal to Sara. 'We could run a test on Neal or on me for that matter and find that some of our lymph nodes are swollen as well - it's part of the immune system… it's just that in your case, we have to monitor it very carefully, to make sure we're not dealing with a recurrence of your cancer.'
Sara nodded and swallowed, trying to keep her emotions in check. In some ways, this was worse than the original diagnosis; having cancer and fighting it successfully once was a victory but everyone knew that if it returned so soon after treatment ended, it was a bad sign. A second battle would be even tougher and she really wondered if she had it in her to keep fighting.
'Okay' she said, her voice soft. 'Can you set up the appointment?'
Dr. Franklin took a few notes and leaned over, putting his hand over Sara's. 'This is not something to take lightly but it's not necessarily a bad sign. You have to remain optimistic. Do you think you can do that for me?' he asked kindly.
Sara gave him a small nod, fighting off tears as Neal watched helplessly.
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Despite Hope's usual attempts at being a buffoon, Friday's dinner was particularly quiet in the Caffrey household as both Neal and Sara came to terms with what they'd learned earlier in the day. Sara looked even more pale than usual and she poked aimlessly at her food as Neal tried to engage her in conversation.
He offered to give Hope a bath and Sara settled in at the kitchen table to research this new, totally unexpected turn of events. But her eyes grew weary and by the time Hope had been tucked in for the night, she headed upstairs to have a nice warm soak of her own.
'Here' Neal said as he appeared in the bathroom holding a hot cup of tea. 'Chamomile… Moz swears by this stuff.'
Sara gave him a weak smile and pulled him down for a kiss; Neal's soft kisses were the most soothing thing she could imagine - even better than chamomile tea.
'Early night?' he asked as he sat on the edge of the tub and gently rubbed her shoulders.
He glanced at his watch; it was only 8:30 but he was more than happy to lie in bed and hold his wife in his arms for however long it took until she finally drifted off to sleep.
'Yeah' Sara answered in between sips of tea. 'Early night.'
By the time she made her way into their bedroom, Neal was already settled between the sheets with the laptop on his chest. She surmised he was probably doing the same thing she'd done earlier although she would never know for sure considering the speed with which he slammed the computer shut and placed it on the bedside table.
'Better?' he asked as Sara slipped into a pair of yoga pants and pulled on one of Neal's t-shirts.
'Much' she fibbed, eyes full of mischief.
He could see her mind churning away as he stared into her eyes.
'Do you want to talk about it?' he asked softly.
'No' Sara responded with a naughty smile.
She walked over to the make-up table and opened the drawer, pulling out the brown curly wig Janet had talked her into buying - the one she usually reserved for those special 'extra-curricular' activities. She heard Neal chuckle and she took a moment to position it on her head and run her fingers through it, instantly transforming into a seductress.
She turned to find Neal grinning at her; she was always full of surprises. She crawled up the bed and curled up against him, up on one elbow as she let her hand run languidly up and down his chest.
'I don't want to talk at all' she whispered, her voice shaky.
Neal gave her a playful smile as her intentions became clear. 'Oh, yeah? And what did you have in mind, then?'
Her lips moved in on his, soft yet full of emotion and she lingered there for a few seconds, biting his lower lip and waiting for a response - which did not take long to materialize. Neal's hands slowly moved to cradle her hips and he carefully lifted her up onto his hips, their lips still fused together and he let out a soft moan in response to the wonderful sensation of her body pressed up against his.
'You sure you're up for this?' he asked, searching her eyes; they'd both had a rough day and he hadn't expected her to react quite this way. But then again, this was Sara Ellis and she always moved to the beat of a different drum.
'I think the question is whether you're up for this' she countered with a devilish look in her eyes.
He shook his head at her bawdy comment and grinned at her, running his hand down her cheek. He was all for making love to his wife, pretty well anytime, anyplace but not if lovemaking was being used to avoid talking about important things.
'Sara…' he whispered, still unsure.
'Neal…' she purred, leaning into his ear. 'There's nothing we can do about it tonight… and you're leaving on Monday. Please… I need you.'
Neal pulled her face closer to his, nipping at her mouth, his lips growing hungrier as she continued to press up insistently against him.
There was a time for talking. Apparently, this wasn't one of them.
TBC
