Thursday evening brought about several surprises.
To start, almost the whole of Gryffindor House showed up for tryouts. This was typically not the case per my experience.
I looked at James and Ronnie Staubach- the Keeper in fifth year- and sighed.
"I'm not complaining but this just seems...off," I said in a low voice. The stands had a lot of spectators but almost too many, in my opinion. I expected spies from other house teams and maybe a few spectators but not as many as there were. I spotted Lily sitting with a book. She waved at me when she noticed me looking at her. I waved back. "This all just seems weird," I continued as Kieran Scott from Ravenclaw waved as well.
"I actually expected the entire school to turn out, if we are being honest," Ronnie said, laughing lightly.
"Why?" I said, confused. Ronnie rolled his eyes and looked to James, almost to ask to take over.
"Really? You are like the most popular girl in school," James said.
"Like hell I am," I exclaimed, taken aback. What was this nonsense?
"Just because you live in this fantasy bubble of Quidditch and only interact with Potter doesn't mean that the rest of the school doesn't see you as this iconic being that they either want to be or date," Ronnie stated.
"That is such oversight. No way am I the 'most popular' girl-"
"Literally all we heard on the train was how your hair was blonde now, you were thinner, and that you were Quidditch Captain," Ronnie said.
"But I didn't think-" I tried to speak but Ronnie cut me off.
"Again: fantasy bubble."
I looked at James and he just shrugged.
"I mean most guys just find you hot and want to date you," James said, shrugging.
"This is absurd. I don't even interact with-"
"FANTASY BUBBLE," Ronnie practically screamed. "And do not even play that innocent shit. The first day of class, you were practically holding court in the common room before breakfast."
"I said hello to my peers as they passed me and I was not holding court- I was waiting for Lily," I said, taken aback. It seemed impossible to get ahead in this conversation. Hot? People want to date me now? Where the hell has this been for the first five years? I barely had one boyfriend and looked how that turned out.
"I watched as like four or five people approached you to talk to you about Quidditch or your Summer. You were too busy reading your Quidditch Throughout the Ages to take note of the amount of people waiting to see you," Ronnie said.
"Okay so one incident-"
"Last year, our games had the highest attendance. Even the people who didn't watch the sport came to watch you," Ronnie continued.
"Okay but that's because I am really good-"
"And do not even get me started with the amount of times I have personally seen a guy flirt with you and you would just brush them off," Ronnie said.
"Men do not 'flirt' with me. They just talk to me," I said, feeling very much attacked.
The both started to laugh uncontrollably. Heat rose to my cheeks as I processed their words. I can't be this dense but none of it made much sense at all.
"I don't even try though. Like I am barely present in classes and all I see is Quidditch-" I said, trying to defend myself. Ronnie shook his head and stopped me again.
"That's kind of the point. You are like this unattainable person who doesn't seek anyone's company. But I bet that if you asked to sit with someone- someone random- that they would sit with you and have a conversation with you happily," he said.
"All this because I am nice to look at? What kind of shit is that?" I asked.
"It's definitely so much more than that. I almost want to say you have to see it to believe it- but it's everything about you," James said.
"Well this has been an eye opening experience and all but we need to start," I said. I was ignoring the fact that suddenly- with that one sentence from James- I started to think that maybe he did like me. This thought worried me and I wanted to squash it- I had zero intentions of disrupting my friendship with James. Was Sirius maybe right? And then I thought about Sirius Black, and my unwanted reactions, and I had to stop.
Last year, I lost focus. It's something I will never forget. Not this year...I cannot lose focus this year.
I squared my shoulders and faced the crowd of hopefuls.
"Okay everyone, listen up," I yelled, calling everyone to attention. The pitch immediately hushed- save for Ronnie's snickering in the background. I glared at him until he quieted as well.
"Thank you for your interest in trying out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. We have openings for Seeker, another Chaser, and Beaters. Momentarily, I will divide the group up into the spot they wish to tryout for. Until then, let's get something straight," I said, looking at each person hoping to tryout. "I take Quidditch very seriously and will give 150% all day, every day. I expect my teammates to match my commitment. I expect them to be present at every training session. I expect them to put this team and it's needs above their other extra curriculars. I will not accept any excuse less than death." A few brave souls snickered at this and I waited for quiet again before I continued. "I will not accept anything less than your best, beginning tonight. I will not accept another failing season."
I had the attention of everyone on the Quidditch pitch. I had waited for this moment, this speech, since I joined the team in second year and vied for the captain spot. This is my year and I felt it. This was the year that everything was going to change for me.
"We will train hard, play even harder. We will not give the other team an opportunity to best us. We not give anyone a chance at redemption on this field. We come to win and that is what we will do, make no mistake about that. If this isn't something you can commit to, something you are not willing to sacrifice your time to, something that you are going to 'take lightly', please, do me a favor and go back to the Common Room. I will not be offended." Not a soul moved.
"Now that we understand each other, I want the Beaters to my left, the Chasers in the center, and the Seekers to my right. The Beaters will report to James. I do not want just a typical strong, sturdy beater. I want people with good aim, cunning, slick. I want Beaters that have strategy." James nodded and went over to the Beaters group to await further instruction.
"Seekers- you will report to Ronnie. When we begin, there will be a thirty second head start for the snitch to do its thing before we will go. I want the snitch caught and released three times. Your times will be recorded by Ronnie. And while I am looking for someone who can quickly get the snitch, I want someone smart- someone who knows where the snitch is at all times and waits to get it. That will be the key in a lot of games- the snitch doesn't always guarantee a win." Ronnie went over to the Seeker group and smiled pleasantly.
"And Chasers- you will report to me," I said. I felt like I saw a few people in the group go ghost white. "Once we narrow down each group to the best 3, we will play as teams to see how well you do when you are facing an opponent. Prepare for a long night- the Gryffindor Quidditch team will be decided tonight," I finished. I nodded to the other two and walked over to James to give him instructions. James smiled as I approached.
"That was one of those circumstances," James said.
"What was?" I asked.
"The one where you had to see it to believe it," he said smiling. I looked up at the stands to see Lily- this time her book was gone and she was watching me intently. She smiled and gave me a thumbs up.
"So here is what you're going to do..." I began.
It was almost 9 pm by the time we actually narrowed it down to two of the best in each position. Between the chaos and grueling drills, the Quidditch pitch was practically empty now save for Lily and James' friend Remus Lupin.
The two seekers were going head to head- best two out of three to catch the Snitch. The beaters were batting the bludger between the two pairs. The Chasers were all racing up and down the Quidditch Pitch, preparing for the first drill.
"Karosky & Edmond- you're both in," I said to one pair of Beaters. Karosky and Edmond both whooped with joy while the other two landed and skulked off.
The Seeker was easier- Ariana Milton was easily the fastest and smartest- she outshone all the hopefuls from the first round and beamed with pride when I named her my Seeker.
Right as I decided that Ariana was my seeker, I saw a little something extra from Rhiannon Smalls who did a smooth dive and loop to make a goal.
I blew my whistle and everyone landed.
"Thank you for your interest tonight and all your hard work. Rhiannon- you're the third Chaser," I announced. Emily- the other girl trying out- hung her head and retreated towards the castle.
"Shall we do one run, as a team before we complete the night?" I asked. I expected some disgruntled response but to my surprise, everyone smiled and agreed. I retrieved my broom for the first time and took off.
I forget it every time- that first feeling of excitement when you soar off into the clouds and dash around the sky. It's the most blissful feeling that exists, in my opinion. I took liberty and quickly circled both goal posts with loops and dives before pulling next to James, grinning like a fool.
"There's another example..." he said quietly, smiling. I grew nervous for some reason at this quip and looked into the stands.
Then it hit me- my much needed divergence.
"Have you noticed anything different about Lily?" I said, thinking back to my conversation with her the first night back. James scrunched his face.
"What do you mean?" He asked. He briefly glanced over to the spot in the stands where she was sitting before shifting his full attention to me.
"I just...I don't know, she looks different. Glowing even. And she isn't surrounded by her friends like she normally is..." I trailed off. He glanced over again. I think Lily noticed him looking for she tucked her hair behind her ear and sat up straighter. I noticed that Sirius joined her huddle with Remus. Sirius grinned widely and waved at us.
"I haven't really...well yeah, her hair is a little shorter and brighter...I wasn't looking...I didn't...I don't know..." James mumbled this response to me and rubbed the back of his neck.
I didn't feel nervous anymore. Maybe he just needed to be completely focused on someone else in order to get Lily off his mind.
"Sirius told me that he has a date with Cassidy tomorrow night," James stated, looking at me.
"Okay everyone, let's do an offensive play before we hit the showers," I said loudly, addressing the team. I ignored James, especially as he gave me a curious look as I flew away.
Was it normal to feel jealous about something you wanted to happen?
I arrived in the Great Hall early Friday morning. After another night of restlessness and a long morning workout, I still found myself among the first students to arrive.
I was bothered by a lot of things- mainly things I couldn't say out loud.
Was I really this 'popular, unattainable' person? What about my personal sneaking suspicion that maybe James did like me? And not to mention the slight drop in my stomach when James told me Sirius had a date. What is going on with me? When did I start to care about anything except flying patterns, goal posts, and strategies?
In walked Kieran Scott- sixth year Ravenclaw Chaser- and I paused my simmering displeasure.
He glanced over at my table, noticed me, and waved.
Thinking back to Ronnie's statement from the night before, I waved him over. I almost hate that I notice his eyes brighten in response as he jogged over to my table.
"Your tryouts were pretty wicked last night. I suppose you'll be sitting for Hufflepuff's tonight?" He said, smiling as he came over.
"Tryouts were exceptional, yes. I am very happy with my choices. And of course, I will be going," I said. Kieran nodded and took a seat next to me.
"Cassidy enlisted me to go tonight. She apparently has plans," He replied, rolling his eyes.
"Trouble in paradise?" I asked, smirking. I already knew about Cassidy's plans.
"Well if there was- and I am not saying there is- I wouldn't very well tell enemy number one," Kieran said laughing.
"Enemy number one has a very Cassidy like feel to it," I responded.
"The words came directly from her lips on night one. Bronson- our beater- was talking about you and Cassidy cut him off quick," He shook his head and poured himself a glass of OJ.
"Her vendetta against me is so charming," I said, sipping my tea.
"Vendetta is a nice word. Obsessed is better. 'Look at her and Potter- they should just kiss and get on with it' or 'Booking the Quidditch pitch five times week well into December? Is she fucking serious?' or- and this one is my personal favorite- 'Look at her, sashaying around the Castle like she owns the place'. Obsessed," He finished, laughing. I merely smiled and shook my head, ignoring my bubbling anger.
"If she spent half the amount of energy she expends obsessing over me and used it for Quidditch, she would probably be better than me," I said. Kieran snickered.
"I highly doubt that you'll have much competition outside of the pros. Not many people match that commitment," he said seriously.
"Do you want to go to this Hufflepuff scrimmage tonight? Like together? Check out what they are doing?" I asked. Kieran paused and looked at me. I only offered to test the theory that anyone would be delighted to be seen with me.
"I would assume that you would bring James..." Kieran said slowly. He assumed right but I wasn't going to say that.
"Why would you assume that?" I asked, curious.
"Well, you are attached at the hip. And I hate to ask it, but aren't you guys dating?" He asked. Kieran ran his hand through his hair- a move James did whenever he started to feel nervous. I chuckled softly, trying to put a lid on my hard to ignore emotions.
"A guy and a girl being friends is an extreme thing it seems," I said.
"According to Cassidy at least," he said, shaking his head.
"There is a lot of tension there," I noticed.
"Cassidy just suddenly dumped David last night. You know, your old pal, Carson?" Kieran looked angry for a moment and I had to wonder if it was towards me.
"Carson and I weren't pals," I said firmly.
"You two hung out all last year," Kieran said, astounded.
"Wrong. Carson used me all last year to make Cassidy jealous so he can score the girl of his dreams. So excuse me if I do not care for his problems," I stated.
Kieran took a moment to respond.
"I mean, I wondered how he got so good at Quidditch all of a sudden..."
"You cannot tell me that your best buddy David didn't tell you about the shitty thing he did to me," I said.
"Honestly, no. David was mainly with you last year. Then Summer happened and he ignored most of my owls and suddenly I see him snogging Cassidy on the platform when we got back. It's been Cassidy this and Cassidy that and I am so over hearing about that woman. A nightmare, to tell you the truth. And now, he's acting like some wounded animal in his dormitory." Kieran paused to sigh and rub his eyes.
"He's usually only friends with people when he wants something from them," I said coolly. Kieran turned his head sharply to me.
"I didn't say that," he said.
"No, I did. And I definitely mean it," I said and met his eyes. His irritation was palpable.
"I think that was rude to-"
Suddenly-very suddenly- the anger from the OWLS, the anger from the Summer, the anger from the train just boiled over. And while usually I could contain myself and not say irrational things, my resilience snapped and I cut Kieran off.
"I didn't ask you to come over here to talk about Cassidy or dip shit Carson. Fuck them both. They are both shitty people and that's my experience with them. I am not going to have a civil conversation about them and not be 'rude'. If you do not like that, then you can leave," I stated. All of this was said in a calm voice- but my tone was seething with anger. Kieran narrowed his eyes at me. He didn't leave immediately- in fact, he opened his mouth a few times as if to say something but eventually, he stalked off. I didn't take my eyes off him the entire exchange or until his figure retreated to the top of our table.
No sooner had he reached the top of the table did James and his friends appear. I'm not sure if Kieran said something but James made a face and made his way over to me.
"What was the enemy doing over here?" James said in a boisterous voice that emanated fun and Friday happiness.
Me?
"No fucking idea," I responded sharply. I flipped the pages of my Quidditch manual sharply. All four boys were staring at me but I refused to acknowledge them.
Sirius broke the ice.
"So I have a date with one Ms. Burns tonight," Sirius said, smiling and bragging to his boys.
And another sudden snap.
"Well make sure you wrap it before you slap it otherwise you'll be left feeling the burn," I said in a faux charming voice.
Remus choked on his water.
Peter dropped the bacon.
James immediately spun towards me.
Sirius' jaw dropped slightly.
Before any of them could respond with words, I snapped my book shut, stuffed it in my bag and huffed out of the Great Hall.
I saw the flash of red hair and said, without acknowledging her, "Empty Charms classroom now."
Lily clearly acknowledged my abrupt command and followed closely behind me.
Into the classroom we went and Lily cast a silencing charm over the door. She looked at me curiously as the lid to my emotional anger jar burst.
"David Carson is a piece of shit. He was my boyfriend for the better part of last year but used me for Quidditch lessons and to make bitch face Cassidy Burns jealous. He did not actually like me and in fact called me unattractive- of course he said 'unattractive to me'- but all I heard was unattractive. And now they've broken up because Sirius asked her out and let's be real- Sirius is the better choice. And I am pissed because I asked him to do it, to kinda pay David back for his asshole behavior, but every time I look at Sirius, I kind of die on the inside. Like Merlin's beard he can't be that good-looking and charming- how is that fair? And then James- I think he likes me but only because he thinks you don't like him and Jesus Christ, none of this is about Quidditch," I spilled to Lily in a rush.
Silence and then- laughter.
Lily was laughing at me.
"You've got to be kidding me," I said, appalled. I bare my soul for this?
"It's just- dear God- David Carson? Are you serious?"
I paused.
"What?" I asked, not understanding.
"David Carson is a such a prat! How did you manage that relationship without murdering him?" Lily asked, still laughing.
"What the hell do you mean?" I asked very astounded by her reaction.
"Come on, that dude is such an annoying little know it all. Yeah sure, he's cute. But you said it- Sirius is hotter. And well yeah- every female has a thing for him. That whole 'dark' 'mysterious' and 'unattainable' aspect. Yet, I am still stuck on the fact that you dated Carson," Lily said, beginning to laugh again.
"Are you making fun of me?" I asked.
Lily continued to giggle.
"Heaven's no. I've been in love with James for how many years and I can't even say it to anyone. Except you I guess," she said.
Another pause.
"Really how did you deal with him?" Lily asked giggling. I rolled my eyes.
"I'm not that intolerant," I responded.
"If Quidditch isn't involved, there is no investment from you," she responded, laughing again.
"Probably explains why we were always on the Quidditch field practicing," I said, shrugging.
"And that's another thing. He was such an uncoordinated dork. Are you telling me that you're the reason he's so good on the Quidditch field?" Lily asked.
"Probably but I wouldn't put it past him to higher a trainer over the Summer," I said, shrugging.
"So James..." Lily said, looking at me.
"Between you and James and the rest of the damn school, it's just in my head now and it is not going away," I sighed.
"So do you like him?"
I stared daggers at her.
"I think we both just heard me say that I have the hots for his delicious looking best friend," I said dully. Lily straight up cackled at that which made me laugh as well. I noticed at this point that my anger had been released and I felt better- way better than I had at any point since the Carson dumping happened in the Spring.
"So maybe he likes you?" Lily suggested.
"I am not sure but I am not trying to bark up that awkward tree. I like our friendship but what if I am getting this confused and all our interactions are because he likes me, not best he sees me as like a buddy? Do buddies touch their buddy's arm and back during conversation and sit close to them?" I said. Lily had the decency to hide her giggles.
"That is actually normal. If I called you beautiful and said you were smoking hot, would you think I wanted to date you too?" Lily asked.
"No and only because I know that you're heterosexual. Marlene on the other hand..." I trailed off grinning.
"My point is that friends can be a little weird like that- touchy or overtly complimentary. You've just been stuck in a Quidditch book and planned routes for how many years that I do not think you even guessed anyone's intentions as anything other than friendly until Carson came along."
Lily had a fair point.
Should I curse Carson for ruining my view on people too?
"What I wouldn't do for a Time Turner, to be honest. Go back a whole year and take Carson out of the picture. Maybe we could have won the Quidditch Cup last year..." I was lost in thought as Lily laughed.
"Take Carson out of the picture and replace him with Sirius," she said.
I glared at her again and shrugged.
"Someone was bound to snatch you up at some point. You are hard to miss," she said, lifting the silencing spell from the door and walking out towards Potions with me.
"Is that you being complimentary friendly or complimentary sexual? I cannot tell," I replied. Lily snorted.
"Definitely sexual, Gold. Hard to resist your wicked charms and Quidditch knowledge," Lily said sarcastically.
There was a shuffling and snickering sound behind us but oddly, no one was there when I turned around to look. I shrugged at Lily and smirked.
"My Quidditch knowledge is dead sexy," I replied.
"Maybe to Potter," Lily said, rolling her eyes and giggling. I lightly smacked her arm.
"Oh Merlin no. Is that my factor? Is that why guys like me?" Lily snorted.
"That's it Daria, that's definitely it. It obviously has nothing to do with your bombshell looks, mysteriousness, ambition, talent, or wit," Lily said.
"Are those compliments friendly or-"
"Definitely not friendly," Lily said, rolling her eyes again.
I snickered in response, feeling lighter then I had in months. More focused, ready to take the school by storm.
With a full Quidditch team and determinations this high, nothing could go wrong...
...right?
